“I see. Then perhaps you’d like to accompany me back to Donwell for tea. My shift’s just ending, and Lawson’s here with the car.”
Dr. Scott opened the door with a swish. “Pardon me, Miss Knightley.” He turned to Georgiana. “Your brother would like to speak to you. Please try to understand.” He motioned for Elizabeth to follow.
Georgiana glanced at Fitzwilliam, then turned back to Sarah. “Give me a moment to say goodbye.”
The young woman moved to her brother’s bedside and took his hand.
“Ana?”
She pressed his palm to her face and nodded.
“Thank you for coming but—”
She touched his hand to her mouth and spoke, “Would it be easier if I left?”
“Are you saying something?”
Elizabeth lifted his other hand and tapped Georgiana’s message.
He squeezed his sister’s hand. “Yes. Come again...when I’m stronger.” Moisture glistened in his eyes.
Georgiana kissed his fingertips, then returned his hand to his side. She brushed a tear aside, then turned to Dr. Scott. “Perhaps it’s for the best. There’s nothing I can do for him.” Her gaze broadened to include Elizabeth. “Thank you both for taking such good care of him. It’s a comfort to know he’s well cared for.”
“You’re welcome.” Elizabeth blinked back her own tears and nodded. If Georgiana only knew!
The young woman exited, and Dr. Scott turned to Elizabeth. “Tell the captain I’ll notify the family of his request to defer visitors until he is stronger.”
Elizabeth lifted Fitzwilliam’s hand and conveyed the message. He released a sigh, then closed his eyes and relaxed into the pillow.
“Shall I leave as well?” Elizabeth looked to the doctor.
“Oh, no. He complimented your service. But other than your care and my visits, there will be no visitors until further notice.”
“No visitors?” Elizabeth arched a questioning brow.
“Yes, yes. I know. Mrs. Knightley won’t like it a bit. But if she is truly concerned with his health, she’ll abide by his wishes.”
Elizabeth smiled, chuckling to herself. Fitzwilliam’s health didn’t appear to be Mrs. Knightley’s biggest concern.

Darcy swallowed the morphine tablet and sank back onto the pillow. He’d been at Hartfield four days—so Miss Thomas had told him. Four days! He’d been asleep most of the time, but still he heard no sounds. Without hearing or sight, what would it be like to be awake for an entire day? No one to talk to, nothing to do. He would go mad!
And what of his sight? He was blind. Blind. Thornton should have left him to die. At least then maybe he could have been reunited with Elizabeth. Elizabeth. His chest tightened. If she were found alive, would she even want him now? No woman with her vibrant vivacity would want to be saddled with a man who had to be led around and couldn’t even hear. He was worthless.
Headache? The word tapped on his forearm.
“No.” He turned his head away.
Discouraged?
“A little.”
Every blinded soldier feels hopeless, bitter, and angry for a time but—
“How would you know what it’s like?” He whipped his head back. “Some people say no man is an island, but I sure feel like a shipwrecked bastard now.”
You have a boat and two paddles—a sound mind, a voice, and Morse code. You may be shipwrecked but you’re not marooned.
He huffed. “At the moment that’s a small consolation. A simple conversation requires so much effort, it’s hardly worth the trouble.”
Embrace what you have. Lose hope, you lose everything.
He turned away again and closed his eyes to signal the end of the exchange.
- - -
Elizabeth stepped back and closed her eyes. Responding impassively was so hard when the man she loved was feeling such pain! Tears pricked her eyes, and she pressed her hand over her mouth to quell the sob rising in her throat. And this was only the beginning—the first of what would undoubtedly be many episodes of frustration, anger, and depression. She’d been able to be strong for the men at St. Dunstan’s because they weren’t hers. But with Fitzwilliam she wanted to throw her arms around him and cry with him rather than steel herself and force him to face reality and learn to cope. Oh yes, coping would become easier for him over time, but not before it got a lot harder first.
~TWENTY~
Five days later
Elizabeth refilled Fitzwilliam’s water pitcher and returned it to his bedside table. Her gaze fell on her beloved sitting up and fingering his braille pocket watch. Her heart squeezed in her chest at the poignant scene.
The past several days had been a rocky succession of ups and downs. Each day brought new frustrations as he was awake for longer stretches. His cracked ribs made movement painful, and simple things like balance proved to be a challenge without sight. But in spite of his struggle to accept his condition, he’d overcome some small obstacles. The blind founder of St. Dunstan’s had visited with encouraging words and had given him the braille watch, sparking him with a tiny ray of hope. He’d exerted the effort to allow the orderlies to escort him to the bathroom, he’d dictated a letter to Georgiana, and yesterday he’d asked to be taught how to eat.
Fitzwilliam’s nose twitched. “Is that breakfast I smell?”
Elizabeth angled her head towards the door, listening as she sniffed. It is, she tapped.
A VAD delivered the breakfast tray, and Elizabeth set it across his lap. Eat by yourself?
“I’ll give it a go, but I make no promises.” He felt for the corner of the tray, then crawled his fingers to the edge of the plate. Locating his napkin, he spread it across his chest.
Well done! she tapped while perching on the chair beside him. Boiled egg 12:00, bacon 2:00-6:00, toast 9:00, orange sections on right. Feel for heat.
He hovered a tentative hand over the food, then touched each item. “You won’t laugh if I make a muck of it?”
Of course not. Proud you’re trying. Elizabeth squeezed his arm in affirmation as he lifted the egg.
An unfamiliar deep voice approached the room alongside Dr. Scott. “...and you’ve done a fine job with the hospital’s conversion, Scott.”
Elizabeth rose to her feet just as a dignified colonel a few years older than Fitzwilliam appeared in the doorway with Dr. Scott.
“Thank you, Colonel. And this is the Red—.” Dr. Scott stopped short. “Ah, Miss Thomas, I see our patient is feeding himself. Excellent. Colonel Brandon, this is Miss Thomas, the VAD I was telling you about. Miss Thomas, meet Colonel Brandon, our new commanding officer.”
“It’s a pleasure, sir.” She nodded as the two men approached her.
“Your reputation precedes you.” The stately colonel’s smooth voice flowed like deep water. “Thank you for your service. This must be Captain Darcy.” He stopped at the bedside, his calm, methodical manner portending he would prove to be an excellent surgeon and administrator.
“Is that you, Scott?” Darcy picked up an orange section.
Dr. Scott grasped Fitzwilliam’s shoulder in affirmation.
“If you’ve come for the show, you must promise not to laugh.” Darcy popped the fruit into his mouth.
The doctor cuffed his shoulder and turned to Elizabeth. “Tell him I’ve brought the hospital’s new commanding officer.”
Elizabeth made the introduction.
Darcy choked and swallowed. “Forgive my disrespect, sir.”
The colonel patted his shoulder. “At ease. And finish your breakfast.”
Elizabeth relayed the message while the colonel addressed Scott. “His deaf-blind condition poses quite a challenge in communicating.”
“Indeed. It would be nearly impossible without Miss Thomas interpreting.”
Dr. Scott turned back to her. “How is he today? No headache?”
She straightened her glasses. “He’s well. And no headache. He slept seven hours at a stretch last night.�
��
“Excellent. And he seems to be in good spirits.” Dr. Scott peered closer, eyeing his patient. “He’s still sporting a nasty black eye, but there’s a significant reduction in facial swelling and his cuts have healed. Still no detection of sound?” He eyed her over his shoulder.
“No, sir.”
The doctor straightened with a sigh. “His deafness concerns me, Colonel. If it’s solely attributable to ruptured eardrums, he should be able to hear something by now. I can find no other medical cause for hearing loss. I’m beginning to suspect it could be war strain.”
“Shell shock? It’s possible, considering all he’s been through. In France I saw scores of men with all sorts of unexplainable symptoms. Deafness, tremors, paralysis, and a host of other neuroses. Often rest and time were all they needed. How long has Captain Darcy been here?”
“He arrived just after Easter.”
“Hmm. Not long. His condition is quite remarkable given he sustained such grievous injuries less than a fortnight ago. I expect his worst enemy now will be despondency.”
“I agree. I had in mind to push him a bit both physically and mentally. Perhaps a few minutes walking and some activities to engage his mind.”
“Did you have some particular activities in mind? The majority of pastimes used with the blind rely on hearing.”
Elizabeth stepped forward. “Flowers are blooming outside. Their smell and texture would be pleasant. And playing cards and dominoes for the blind don’t require hearing. They would engage his mind while providing an enjoyable pastime and introduce him to braille.”
The colonel smiled and turned to the doctor. “The captain is indeed in good hands. I see why you value Miss Thomas so highly. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll leave you to your patient.”
The colonel exited while Fitzwilliam wiped his mouth, taking extra care with the bristles on his chin. “I assume you are evaluating my situation. Might I be privy to your thoughts?”
Dr. Scott chuckled. “We were discussing your future. It’s time to shave off that beard and take a walk.”
Elizabeth tapped the words.
“So you have my future planned for me?”
“Of course. That’s the doctor’s job—to stay a half step ahead.”
The message conveyed, Darcy huffed a chuckle, then winced at the stabbing in his chest.
While Elizabeth adjusted Fitzwilliam’s pillows, Dr. Scott patted his shoulder in farewell. “Tell him I’ll be back this afternoon.” He turned to leave but turned back. “Ah, Miss Thomas, I nearly forgot this.” The doctor pulled an envelope from his tunic pocket and held it out. “My letter of recommendation for your foreign service interview. You’ve done an outstanding job here. Are you sure I can’t tempt you to stay on with Captain Darcy?”
I am tempted to stay—forever! Elizabeth took the envelope. “Thank you, but I have my heart set on working abroad.”
“You can’t fault me for trying.” He cast her a warm smile.
“Have arrangements been made for the captain’s care when I’m gone?”
“Mrs. Knightley has been after me to allow more family involvement. I see no reason why Miss Knightley and Miss Hale can’t become more involved now that he’s out of the woods.”
“How will Miss Hale communicate with him?”
“I’ll pair her with Darcy’s former batman who’s a telegraphist. Dr. Knightley’s sending him here to recover from a shoulder wound.”
“Is there no facility for the blind in London to look after him?”
The doctor shook his head. “Not that accommodates patients who are deaf and blind. I want the captain here, where I can look after him.” He placed a hand on the iron footboard. “Speaking of accommodation, with the captain’s improvement, I think you can afford to sleep in the room there.” He pointed through the open door of the adjacent office. “You’ll be close enough should he need you, and I’m sure it will be more comfortable than the chair. If you’re agreeable, I’ll have a bed delivered.”
“Thank you. It’ll be nice to have a full night’s rest.”
“You can move your things when I return this afternoon.” The doctor smiled, then made for the door and called over his shoulder. “If you change your mind about staying on, we’d be more than happy to have you.”

Just before dinner, Elizabeth stepped off the lift and shifted the vase in her hands.
“Miss Thomas, come see!” Sarah backed out of Fitzwilliam’s doorway and motioned to her.
Elizabeth crossed the threshold and stopped short, tears springing to her eyes. Fitzwilliam had one hand on the doctor’s shoulder and the other stretched in front of him while taking tentative steps towards his bed. The bandages circling his head were gone, his hair trimmed, and beard shaved. Although he still had a purply-green ring around his eye and a strip of plaster across his nose, he looked more like the man she fell in love with in Belgium.
“Easy does it. That’s it.” Dr. Scott eased his patient back onto the bed and looked up. “Ah, Miss Thomas, come congratulate our patient on his latest success.”
Elizabeth stepped into the room.
“Is someone here? I smell something.” Fitzwilliam angled his head in her direction.
Elizabeth approached him and touched his fingers to one of the blossoms in the vase.
He fingered the white petals and inhaled, his nostrils flaring. “Gardenias?”
Elizabeth placed the vase on the bedside table, then tapped on his forearm. Yes. Chosen for lovely, lingering scent. Good to see you up!
“Yes, but I’m exhausted.” With wincing moans he repositioned himself and leaned back against the pillows, releasing his breath with a grunt.
The doctor turned to Elizabeth. “As you can see, he’s had quite an afternoon. Aside from the shave and haircut, he circled the room three times. Tell him the fatigue is to be expected. His body is taxed by the exertion, his wounds, and the adjustment to reliance on touch.”
Elizabeth reached for Fitzwilliam’s arm but froze her hand mid-air. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady. He was already asleep.

Elizabeth tied her braid, then crossed to the light switch in her new sleeping quarters adjacent to Fitzwilliam’s room. Flipping the switch off, she turned towards her bed but paused. Should she open the door between them?
She glanced back at the door. It already felt somewhat scandalous to be sleeping in the room next to him, but if she left the door closed, would she hear if he had another nightmare?
She walked back to the door, then cracked it and peered in at Fitzwilliam. Warm moonlight spilled over the foot of his bed casting a glow over his sleeping body. Drawn to the man she loved, she padded to his bedside, then placed a hand on the iron bedstead and gazed down at him. She would teach and encourage him all she could in her short time remaining here, but after that he would be in the care of his batman and Sarah—both untrained in working with the blind. Would they be able to encourage him without coddling? Could they reassure him that he could live a productive life without sight when they themselves had no knowledge of the blind?
Her heart swelled with ache at the thought of leaving him. Should she stay? A few taps on Fitzwilliam’s arm is all it would take to reveal herself—to renew his hope and help him cope.
No. No! She squeezed her eyes shut. Revealing herself to him might bring comfort for a day or two, but as soon as she was revealed, she would be Elizabeth Bennet, the suspected spy. The ensuing drama would ruin his future—if he wasn’t convicted and shot first. With the help of his family, he would get through this current trial. In the end, he was better off without her. But for now, she’d do what she could for him and love him fiercely.
Leaning down, she brushed a shock of dark hair from his brow, then kissed his forehead. Sleep well, my love.
~TWENTY-ONE~
Seized with panic, Darcy swallowed his tea with a gulp. “Thornton begins tomorrow? I didn’t realise he was coming so soon.”
&n
bsp; Arrived early.
After an awkward silence she added, I’m sure he’ll serve you well.
“Y-yes. He’s a fine man.” Thornton was an excellent batman, but he was no nurse. He wasn’t Miss Thomas.
The comfortable ease they normally shared seemed strained today. He felt as if she was staring at him.
Darcy forced himself to relax back onto his bed pillows and searched for a new topic. “Are you anxious about leaving England?”
Her hand twitched. No. Been eager for the call.
“I’ll be sorry to see you go. The boys overseas will be fortunate to be under your care. Thank you—for everything.”
You’re welcome.
The silence that stretched between them was loud enough even for a deaf man to hear. Darcy shifted. “Will you be buying the required overseas camp furniture while you’re in London?”
Yes.
“May I suggest Crosbys? And please, put it on my account. You’re welcome to store it at Darcy House as well. After all you’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do.”
You’ve been more than generous in offering accommodation at your town—.
“Please, I insist.”
She made no reply. It reminded him of his strained visits to Elizabeth at the Hunsford parsonage in Kent some three years before when he had been the one ill at ease.
To fill the void, Darcy tipped his cup and swallowed the last of his tea. “How did you know I like two sugars?” He held up the teacup.
Her hand hesitated. Your sister told me.
He replaced the cup on the saucer and extended it to her, their fingers colliding when she simultaneously reached for it.
In an awkward moment of mutual awareness, she repositioned her hand and removed the offending porcelain.
Darcy cleared his throat. “You will instruct Thornton to brush my knuckles twice to signal everyone has gone?”
Yes.
“Good.”
He cast about for something else to say. “Yesterday you mentioned a way for me to identify my visitors. Will you show me?”
Darcy's Hope at Donwell Abbey, a WW1 Pride & Prejudice Companion Page 14