Travis nodded very seriously. “I’m glad you’ve come to work here. We can have lots and lots of talks, just like before, right?”
Bret had never seen such a loving smile on anyone’s face when Noelle nodded, and said, “I’m glad to be here. We’ll have some wonderful talks while I’m here.”
Yes, she had neatly cut the ground right out from under him. If he sent her away now, Travis would be upset. Why had she encouraged his son to think she was some kind of angel, anyway? Granted, he could see a resemblance between her and the angel at the top of their Christmas tree…the same color eyes and hair, the same slender build. But this woman was far from an angel! She knew exactly what she was doing when she flashed those eyes so provocatively at him, the way she was now.
“More coffee?” she asked.
Right. That may be what she said, but it wasn’t what she was thinking. Why, every time she looked at him, he felt the jolt all the way down to his toes. “No. I’ve got work to do.” He walked over and put on his coat. He grabbed his hat and pulled the brim down low over his eyes.
Deciding to put his son to the test, he looked over at Travis. “Do you want to come help me with my chores today, son? I could use some extra hands feeding the animals.”
“Could Noelle come, too?” Travis asked, his eyes shining.
“Well, I don’t think—”
“I’d love to!” she said. “I haven’t had a chance to be around animals for…oh, a long, long time.” She met Bret’s glance with equally shining eyes.
Well, that little experiment certainly blew up in his face. Why did he feel like such a grouch? What possible difference did it make to him whether she stayed or not?
Silly question.
He didn’t want to be reminded of her or the dreams he’d had about her all night. Having her stay here at the ranch would be too much of a strain. She meant well, no doubt, but she just didn’t understand that—
“I’ll clean the breakfast dishes and be ready to go whenever you are.”
Travis scooted out of his chair and darted out into the hallway, his footsteps echoing on the stairs. “I left my coat upstairs,” he called. “I’ll be right back.”
Bret looked at Noelle, once again feeling powerless over the events around him. He pulled off his hat and began to turn it between his fingers. “Look, I—uh—”
“Oh, please don’t thank me. I want to thank you for the opportunity to be with you and your family for the next few days. It’s literally a dream come true for me. I feel very blessed.”
“I’m sure you find it strange that Travis thinks you’re the Christmas angel. The thing is, that, well—he’s—”
“He’s wonderful! Bright, full of life and so very innocent. He’s delightful and you must be very proud of him.”
Bret absently studied his mangled hat through sightless eyes. “Yeah, I am.” He forced himself to meet her gaze. “His mother died when he was born. He was like a miracle God gave me when He took Patti. None of us in the family would have been the same without Travis.”
“I’ll watch over him very carefully, Mr. Bishop.”
The title caught him off guard, reminding him that she had called him that last night. Nobody called him Mr. Once again she’d managed to make him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t like the feeling. Not at all.
“My name is Bret,” he muttered, hearing the ungracious tone and not being able to do a blasted thing about it. He knew he was telling her more than his first name. He was also agreeing that she could stay at the ranch with him and the children until Freda could return.
He knew he was making a big mistake. He just didn’t know how to get out of it. He felt as though fate had jockeyed him into some kind of corner where he couldn’t get out. He didn’t know exactly how it had happened and he was bewildered by the whole sequence of events.
When she didn’t say anything in response, he turned toward the hallway. “I’ll go help Travis find his coat. We’ll be down in a few minutes.”
“Bret?” she said to his back.
He stiffened, feeling his name on her tongue like a caress down his spine. He forced himself to turn around and face her. “Yes?”
“It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“I’m sure you really believe that, but I don’t agree with you. Human nature being what it is and all, I think we’re both making a big mistake here. If we were smart, we’d make up some excuse why you can’t stay.”
She looked startled. “Human nature?” she echoed, wonder in her voice.
Impatient, he said, “Yeah! Human nature. You know. Man. Woman. Male. Female. Birds. Bees. All that kind of stuff. I’m a normal red-blooded American male, lady, with my fair share of needs. I’ve managed to handle my situation because I’ve kept myself too busy to give it much thought. Plus I haven’t allowed myself to spend much time with any women that might remind me of what I’ve been missing. You moving in here is going to change all of that.”
If anything, her eyes grew lovelier as they continued to stare at him. “Are you saying that you’re attracted to me?”
She sounded absolutely astonished, which ticked him off something terrible. “What’s the matter with you, don’t you ever look in a mirror? Of course I’m attracted to you! I’m not dead, dammit! I thought all those feelings died along with Patti and I’m telling you the truth, I’m not at all happy about finding out they’re still alive and kicking, rarin’ to go!”
Noelle became very still, as though she were listening to something only she could hear. The echo of his voice still rang in the room and once again he felt foolish to have made such an outburst in front of this woman.
What was it about her that made him so uncomfortably self-conscious?
He spun away and started toward the hallway once again.
“I’m attracted to you, as well,” she said softly, which effectively stopped him in his tracks. In fact, he felt paralyzed. Was she out of her mind, making such an admission? He forced himself to face her once more.
“Hasn’t anyone ever warned you that it’s dangerous to be too honest?” he growled.
“No.”
“Then let me be the first.”
“I shouldn’t have told you how I feel?”
“You got that right.”
“Even if it’s the truth?”
“Especially if it’s the truth!”
“I don’t understand.”
He shoved his hand through his hair, feeling his blood pressure mount. “Where have you spent your life, in a convent?”
She smiled. “Close.”
“Well, then you’d better smarten up fast, or some guy’s going to come along and take advantage of all that sweet innocence of yours.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I’m not the only guy around.”
She smiled. “But you’ll protect me from those others, so I’m safe enough.”
“Maybe so, but who’s going to protect you from me?” Once again she looked puzzled. Bret muttered beneath his breath, then shook his head. How could he explain something he couldn’t fully understand himself? “Forget it. I’ve got to go help Travis.”
He was already in the hallway when he distinctly heard her say in a voice just above a whisper, “I enjoyed our time on the beach together, Bret Bishop.”
A wave of dizziness swept over him. How could the woman possibly have known about his dream?
Chapter Three
“I understand Ida Schulz’s niece is helping you at home these days,” Freda said. “How is she working out for you?”
Bret had just arrived at the hospital a few minutes before. Rather than give an immediate answer, he looked around the room, then walked over to one of the chairs. Settling into its depths, he stretched his long legs in front of him, crossing his ankles with a sigh. “Okay, I guess,” he muttered, staring at the toes of his scuffed boots.
“Now there’s some real enthusiasm for you,” she said after a moment, when she realized he wasn’t going to vo
lunteer anything more. “What’s the matter, afraid I’ll get my feelings hurt to hear how well she’s taking care of everything?”
He glanced up at her. “I miss you, Freda.”
“I miss you, too, Bret. And I miss the kids.”
“Life was a lot less complicated when you were at home with us.”
She shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position. After four days in that infernal bed, she was ready to get out of there. “What’s causing you problems now?”
He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t know how to describe it exactly. Things are different these days. Noelle seems to have taken over.”
“And you resent that?”
“Not exactly. I’m just puzzled by it all.” He glanced up, giving her a halfhearted smile. “Travis insists she’s our Christmas tree angel come to life.”
“Yes. He was all excited about her visit when Roy brought them in yesterday.” She eyed his pensive expression and said, “I don’t see any harm in his believing she’s an angel, do you, Bret?”
As though he could no longer sit still, Bret straightened and leaned his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor between them. “At this point, I’m too confused to know what to think,” he finally said. He looked up at her, his pain evident. “When Patti died, I wanted to die, too. If I hadn’t had the children I wouldn’t have made it through these last few years. Even with the children, I’ve been too busy to think about anything but getting through each day.”
“And now?”
“Now all I seem to think about is a slip of a girl who seems to have wrapped my kids in some kind of magical cloak. They seem so happy these days. They don’t argue as much, they’re so helpful around the place, I’m constantly amazed.”
Freda started laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“Well, I would say that you’re finally waking up and noticing the world around you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s Christmastime, Bret. The children have always behaved themselves around Christmas, hoping that their behavior will encourage you to get everything on their list.”
“You think that’s all this is?”
“What I think is that in the past you’ve kept yourself aloof from Christmas. You’ve let me take the kids shopping, you’ve had Roy pick up the special gifts they find under the tree. You did everything you could to ignore the whole business.”
“I guess that was a lot to ask of you and Roy.”
“That’s not my point. My point is that you’ve encased your feelings in some kind of deep freeze…until now.”
“You think so?”
“Oh, yes. I see a definite thawing going on.” She smiled. “Chris says Noelle is one awesome babe.”
Bret blinked. “Awesome babe? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I took it to mean he’s impressed with her looks.”
He fidgeted a moment before saying, “The kid’s got good taste.”
“Definitely thawing, I would say,” she murmured. “It’s time you let Patti go, Bret. She wouldn’t have wanted to see you like this, all grim and uptight about everything. What I remember about Patti is how she could always get you to see the humor in every situation. One of your problems recently is that you take life too seriously.”
He met her gaze without smiling. “Life is serious, Freda.”
“Actually, life is too important to be taken seriously, Bret. Life is meant to be enjoyed…each and every moment. I believe the reason Noelle has come into your life…and the children’s lives…is to remind you of how much life has to offer, to shake you out of your rut, to make you look at your life.”
“Noelle came into our lives because Ida Schulz told her to come help us out after you fell.”
“Ah, Bret. Must you be so literal?”
“Well, I certainly don’t see her visit as some kind of miracle. I’ll admit that it was a help to me that she happened to be visiting from California, and that she heard about—”
“God works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.”
He raised a brow. “You think God sent her?”
“I wouldn’t be at all surprised.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I’m in deep trouble because I’ve been having some unheavenly reactions to her.”
“No doubt you’re reacting like a normal, red-blooded human being who’s been living too long without a companion. It’s all right to admit that you get lonely, you know.”
“I haven’t had time to think about it.”
“You haven’t wanted to think about it, which is why you’ve kept yourself so busy, burying yourself out on that ranch and refusing to take part in anything.”
“So what do you think I should do?”
“Join in the celebration of Christmas. Be a part of it all. Allow yourself to feel again, to believe again.”
He shook his head. “I’m not a kid any longer, Freda.”
“Sometimes I wonder if the children aren’t the wise ones. They accept—with gratitude and without questioning—all the good things in life. Perhaps we could learn from their example.”
“I’m surprised you can say that considering that you’re lying here in a hospital with a broken leg.”
She smiled. “I’m here to tell you that it’s been downright good for me. I’ve discovered several things about myself and my life while I’ve been forced to lie here. It isn’t so bad to take time out to reflect about life. I found that I’m not indispensable. You and the children have been doing quite well without me. I discovered that I’m enjoying having some time to myself where I can catch up on my reading and such.” She watched him closely as she said, “You know, my sister still wants me to go to Austin when I get out of here.”
“You were planning to spend Christmas with her, anyway. Does the doctor think you can be released by then?”
“Oh, I think so. He’s pleased with my progress. I’ve got to learn to get around on crutches first, and I can’t do that until my sprained ankle gets a little better.”
“You’re certainly cheerful about the whole thing.”
She smiled, her eyes twinkling. “I always believe that things work out the way they’re supposed to. I already see a lot of good coming out of my accident.”
“If you say so.”
“Think about taking the kids Christmas shopping, Bret. Get out there with them and look at everything. Listen to the music, watch the people, catch the holiday spirit.”
“Hah! Now that would be a miracle.”
“I happen to believe in them, myself.”
He got up and leaned over the bed, hugging her. “Thanks for the pep talk, Freda. I appreciate your comments and concern.”
“You’re going to do just fine, Bret. I know you will.”
“Wish I had your faith.”
“Eventually you probably will.”
On the drive home Bret thought about his conversation with Freda. Perhaps she was right about his having put his emotions in a deep freeze. He loved his kids but he wasn’t sure how much he showed them his love. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything with them, just for fun.
He hadn’t realized how self-absorbed he’d been, totally wrapped up in his own misery.
The first thing that had happened to him after Noelle’s arrival was the realization that he wasn’t a eunuch! The dream he’d had the first night had certainly made that fact clear. He’d had trouble looking at her for the rest of the day without being reminded of all that his subconscious had him doing with her.
He hadn’t had the courage to ask her what she’d meant about enjoying their time on the beach together. Had he had some kind of mental lapse and actually told her? He shook his head, wishing he understood what was going on at his house these days.
Like it or not, he found himself working closer around the house, stopping more often to check on Travis, even though he quickly learned how much Travis enjoyed his new friend.
He drove into the ranch and followed the lane to the house, reminding himself to call Ida Schulz and thank her for sending Noelle to them.
At dusk the house looked like something on a calendar, or maybe a Christmas card. The building itself was a mellowed gray and the bright glow of golden color from the downstairs windows beckoned any weary traveler to come inside and find comfort. He wasn’t certain what it was about the house that made it so different. He couldn’t believe that Noelle’s presence could contribute to the overall restful quality but he couldn’t deny noticing some of the changes.
In the four days she’d been there he could see the effect she’d had on the children. There seemed to be more laughter in the house since she came. Travis had turned into a chatterbox, giggling and repeating stories she’d told him.
And what stories! He’d never before heard of such a powerful imagination as this woman had. She admitted that she seldom watched television and he guessed he’d have to accept that since he’d never seen any program to match her tales.
In addition to the changes he’d seen in the children, he’d also noticed that the house appeared brighter…almost newer, especially the old linoleum in the kitchen. When he’d mentioned the difference, Noelle explained that she had found a new cleansing agent that brought back the original color and shine to the old covering.
The oak floors in the rest of the house looked as if they’d been refinished and buffed so fine he could almost see his reflection in them, causing the thick area rugs to look like colorful islands floating on a polished sea.
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