by Mia Ford
Jared surprised her again by suggesting they go away for the weekend. “Mom has been bugging me to bring you back there. Now, no pressure, just a quiet get away where we can breathe and have a change of scenery. What do you say?”
“Oh yes,” Suzie said. “It is beautiful there. And it will just be us right, so it will be quiet. Oh Jared it is exactly what we need.”
“Great. I will tell Mom and Dad we are coming,” Jared said.
Once more they drove down the winding highway, this time Suzie was nervous for different reasons. There was no family to meet, no she had done that and failed miserably. She had a lot of thinking to do and she had to try to make her and Jared work. Coming to the place where it all unraveled may be the key to fixing it. And if not she could get some art therapy in. She loved painting with Jared’s mom. Jeff’s mom, she thought then pushed the thought aside. Trying without success to get Jeff out of her mind, she thought about the painting studio in the trees. Then she thought of Jeff, shirtless when he kissed her for the first time.
“You seem lost in a daydream, what are you thinking about?” Jared asked.
“Oh, um just that I would like to do some painting if I could,” Suzie said shyly.
“Definitely. Mom knows about the fire and everything, well not everything but she suggested painting would clear your head,” Jared said.
“You didn’t tell her about us did you?” Suzie said with a worried voice.
“What about us?” Jared asked.
“Well, you know that you wanted me to move in. I would feel awkward if she thought I hurt you.” Suzie was beginning to have doubts.
“Don’t be silly. You didn’t hurt me. Besides we worked through that. You needing your own living space does not mean you want to see other people. Now stop worrying. I only told them about the fire and that you had been staying at my place.” Jared patted her hand in reassurance.
Pulling into the driveway and arriving at the family cabin, Suzie’s anxiety rose. All this place reminded her of was Jeff. They maybe should have gone somewhere else. Somewhere where she and Jared could start over. This was the beginning of her betrayal and she was torn. Fortunately Helen, Jared’s mom, was reading quietly when they got there. His dad had already gone to bed. Suzie smiled and talked for a few moments and then excused herself for the night. The huge, soft bed was calling to her and she needed to close her eyes and not worry about which Tiefson brother she was talking to.
Falling quickly into the folds of the bed, Suzie fell fast asleep. When she awoke, she was alone and debated staying in bed for the day. Instead she forced herself up, she was tired of moping and wanted to get out into the beautiful forest, find Jared, wherever he was and go for a walk. Separating herself from the down duvet she stretched and got dressed. Upstairs there was coffee brewing but no one was around.
Suzie filled her mug and went outside to sit on the deck. Enjoying the early morning sounds, Suzie sat in solitude. After a time, she saw Helen coming up the lawn from her painting studio. She was smiling and had red paint on her cheek. Suzie watched her glance back towards the studio and stand there wistfully. When she turned back towards the house, Helen saw Suzie and straightened, quickening her pace.
“Good morning,” they said in unison and laughed. Helen got herself some coffee and sat with Suzie. She told her that Jared had gone for a walk with his dad and she was painting a lot these days.
“If I had been up earlier I would have joined you,” Suzie said.
“Oh well, that’s alright, maybe after lunch instead,” Helen said and then got up abruptly. “I just remembered I forgot something in the studio.”
“Do you want me to keep you company?” Suzie asked.
“No!” Helen said quickly. “You stay here I will only be a second.”
Suzie stretched out and felt the sun beginning to peak over the trees. It would be warm today. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply reminding herself to care for herself. It was so peaceful here she could see why Jared’s parents had moved out here. It was paradise. Finally Suzie started to unwind. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Jared back with his dad. They joined her with coffee in hands and a rosy glow on their cheeks.
“These are for you.” Jared handed her a bouquet of wildflowers.
“Thank you.” Suzie smiled and held them close.
“That was quite the jog,” Jared’s dad said to him.
“Nah, you are just getting old,” Jared teased.
Suzie rested her head on Jared’s shoulder as he bantered with his dad. A little while later Helen returned from the studio. She looked perplexed and walked into the cabin without a word. Jared’s dad followed her in leaving Jared and Suzie alone on the deck. He put his arm around her and she rested on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and she closed her eyes breathing in his smell. He still smelled like cologne even here and she laughed. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and she looked around the yard. She had a brief feeling of uneasiness or a sort of déjà vu and got up.
“Let’s go for a walk,” she said, pulling Jared to his feet. He wound his arms around her, kissing her neck.
“Why don’t I take you back to bed instead?” he whispered into her ear.
Twisting away from him she ran towards the paint studio. “You have to catch me first,” she teased. As she reached the studio she stopped to make sure he was following. Her mind begged to see Jeff’s painting but she could not now so she ran.
Chasing her and protesting, Jared followed her into the forest. She twisted and turned down paths to evade his grasp until she was breathless with anticipation and exhaustion. She slowed to a walk and listened for Jared. She thought he missed the last turn so she made no sound. Creeping forward she came to a bench nestled into the side of a hill. It had a beautiful view and she sat still. Jared came and sat down beside her.
“Can we talk for a minute?” he said after a long moment of silence.
“We always talk,” Suzie said.
“You’ve changed,” Jared said abruptly, like he had to push it out.
“What do you mean?” Suzie asked, worried. Wondering if she should tell him the whole story now. Still, unable to handle the crushed look she knew she would see on his face.
“You’re distracted or something and I want to know if there is something you are not telling me,” he spoke in a quiet voice.
Suzie remained silent for a moment, looking at the ground. In her mind, her silence proved her guilt. He waited. Finally she began with uncertainty, “If I was keeping something from you it would only be because I love you.” It was the first time she had said it from her heart and in the moment she meant it. She did love him and could not stand hurting him. He could hear in her voice she meant it and he moved in beside her supporting her slumped body.
“If you love me, you will talk to me about it so we do not have this distance between us. Okay?” Jared said gently and he kissed her cheek.
Tears welled in Suzie’s eyes as she knew he was right. She blinked them away and kissed his lips. “Ok, Jared. I know. Can we talk about it on the way home though? I just want to enjoy our time here.” And she meant it. He might hate her for it later but she needed some time to think. She had promised herself she would lie about it so what would she tell Jared? How could she turn this situation into a happy ending?
Jared hugged her again. “Okay, he said. Besides, we’re missing lunch and then you are going painting with Mom.”
“Yeah,” Suzie said. Then continued with trepidation, “Unless you want to do something together, you could paint too.”
“Nah, that’s not my thing. Dad and I are going to go out on the lake, maybe the last time before it freezes. Give you some time to get creative. We will have our time tonight,” Jared said as they walked hand in hand back to the cabin. But there was an uncertainty between them.
Lunch was, fortunately for Suzie, brief and they all went their separate ways. Suzie sat quietly on the deck swing for a while before mak
ing her way to the painting studio. Helen had gone ahead of her and Suzie dragged herself over there, though the mood to paint had left. She was tired and wanted a nap. Her mind was jumping from one thing to the next and she hardly felt like she knew who she was. Suzie shook her head and opened the door.
The first thing she saw when she stepped inside was Jeff’s painting. He had added to it. When had he come here to paint, she wondered. The immense canvas was beginning to be covered in color, and although abstract it had a raw emotion to it and Suzie felt tears well in her eyes. She turned to see Helen looking at her with concern.
“Are you okay?” she asked and she put down her brush.
The sincerity of her words helped Suzie’s tears fall and she cried. Fighting her tears and scolding herself for making a fuss in front of Jared’s mom, Suzie faked a smile. Helen brought over a cup of coffee and patted Suzie’s arm, waiting for her to say something.
“Yeah. Sorry. I am fine.” Suzie wiped her eyes and took a backwards glance at Jeff’s painting. Its effects were staggering.
“It is an amazing piece,” Helen said, looking in the same direction. “I keep telling Jeff he needs to show off his work, he has real talent. But he doesn’t listen to anybody. Thinks it makes him less manly or something. It is infuriating to see him hide his talent.”
“Why don’t you share them for him?” Suzie asked.
“Oh, I couldn’t do it without telling him. Honesty is the base of a strong relationship so I don’t lie to my boys.” She smiled fondly.
Despair clouded Suzie again and she blinked it away, sipping her coffee in silence. Helen went back to her painting and gestured towards Suzie. “Come on over and paint,” she said. “It will help you forget about whatever is bothering you.”
Suzie agreed and picked up the paintbrush. She took a breath and tried to focus on the canvas in front of her. She needed to add some color but her heart was not in it. She was indecisive and just pushed the color around. Helen looked at her with concern and said nothing. After some time, she cleaned up and excused herself saying she was not feeling well and needed to lie down. Suzie relaxed a little after Helen left and was beginning to enjoy painting for a while. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on nothing but the paint. Then she heard a noise from what must be the loft of the studio. She stood in place listening.
A minute later, Jeff emerged shirtless as always, dark eyes dead set on her. Suzie gasped in surprise. Had he been up there the whole time? What was he doing here? Time seemed to slow as Jeff stepped closer and closer to her. Finally reaching her, he stopped. The anticipation was building and they could feel their mutual desire creating tension between them. Jeff reached out and wiped her eyes.
She needed him and pressed into his caress, begging him to come and claim her as his own. His arms wrapped around her and he picked her up off the floor. Their lips met, finding release to their panicked desire. Then he set her down and held her at arm’s length.
“We can’t keep doing this,” he groaned.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, neither of them moving.
“You inspired me to paint. I needed to clear my head so I came here, thought it would be just me and Mom and Dad,” he said.
“Well how come we haven’t seen you? Where is your car?” Suzie felt confused.
“I did not want anyone to know I was here to paint so I told Mom and Dad that I would hang in the studio while you were here. We figured you guys were here to spend time together anyway,” Jeff said.
At that, tears welled up in Suzie’s eyes again as she thought about what he said. She turned to leave, sadly wanting to end the whole charade, feeling lost. Jeff grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let go. She tried to pull away, her face crunching in anger. He held tighter and pulled her to his chest. His strong naked chest felt cool against her cheek. Her tears ran down his stomach and she traced them as he held her.
They stood that way for a long time. Jeff with his arms wrapped around Suzie, who was caressing his chest and stomach. He started to breathe heavier and was holding her still unmoving. Suzie’s tears dried and she was breathing him in more heavily, her desire once again clouding her judgement. Oh when he was shirtless he could make her forget about everything except his muscles that rippled down to his belt buckle. Reaching up she stroked his gruff beard and kissed him gently on the neck.
Feeling desperate to touch him one last time she kissed him harder and pulled his face to her. At the same time, he picked her up with a moan and her breasts landed right in front of his face. Laughing, Suzie pulled off her shirt and bra and wiggled in his arms. Her breasts bounced up and down in front of his face and he dropped his mouth open in a long moan. He used his bearded face to rub her breasts, teasing her nipples erect. She moaned and thrust her hips into him. Looking around the cluttered room wide eyed, Jeff made a quick decision. He shifted his weight and threw her up over his shoulder, slapping her bum and striding to the back of the room and up a concealed staircase. Suzie shrieked and clawed at his back.
In the loft, there was a small living space with a desk, and some shelving. This was where Jeff had obviously been staying and it was cozy with a skylight to the forest outside. Jeff set her down onto a futon that had been converted to a bed and he stood above her, looking her up and down.
“You shouldn’t have come here today. That was a very bad idea,” he growled.
“Yes, it was. Very bad,” Suzie said and then pouted.
Jeff crawled toward her, pulling her pants off as he went, kissing every inch of her with wide, needing eyes. When he got to her ear he whispered, “I need to paint you.”
“Now?” Suzie giggled and writhed beneath him.
“No,” he said forcefully and pressed into her. Fumbling with his belt he covered her mouth with his so she wouldn’t say anything else. She laughed as he struggled and pushed his hands away, fiddling to get his belt off herself. Her breasts rubbed against him and he fondled them, moving his mouth to each one while Suzie undid his pants and pulled them down. Pushing her back into the bed he removed his pants fully and returned his attention to her. He rubbed his hands up her inner legs spreading them and his whole body followed.
She moaned, “Oh Jeff” as he slid into her and he covered her mouth with his hand. She bit him and he growled in surprise, leaning over and biting her lip and then pressing his lips to hers. Their tongues met and matched the rhythm of their bodies as they touched each other with longing. Clawing at him, to bring him closer, she clenched her legs around him as intense waves of pleasure rocked her body. She fell back into the bed and he crawled up behind her. Cradling her into him, he reached around and fondled her, touching every part of her body with his precise hands, making her call out in a moan again even as he was building to his own release. They stayed there, bodies naked and entangled, breathing heavily.
Neither of them wanted to say anything because things needed to be said, things that had been avoided for too long. Suzie turned to look at him and saw he was staring at her body. She kissed his full lips much more gently now though she felt inside a burning passion that she could easily get started on round two right away. The way he was looking at her was driving her crazy. But reality was niggling at her and once again she was torn. She touched his chest and looked him in the eye.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“We already did it.” He winked as he spoke. Jeff rolled away and got up, pulling on his pants.
Suzie opened her mouth to speak again but Jeff shushed her and strode to the window. “Get under the blanket,” he said as he heard the door open. Suzie hid under the blanket, her heart pounding.
From down below, steps could be heard and then, “Hello.” It was Helen. Suzie hoped Jeff had a plan.
“Hi Mom.” Jeff came down the stairs towards her.
“Oh hi Jeff. I thought you were gone. Where is Suzie?” she asked.
“I dunno,” he replied.
“She didn’t paint much. Was she here when you
got back?” she asked.
“No,” Jeff said quickly.
“Oh she must have gone for a walk,” his mom said. “Are you going to tell me who inspired that painting? She is gorgeous. It is not that Cindy girl you brought here was it? I did not see the passion you have for this one. Is she…”
“Stop,” Jeff said, cutting her off in anger. “There is no inspiration it is just a painting. I thought we agreed not to talk about it.”
“My poor boy. I am your mom. I know there is a person who inspired that painting whether you will admit it or not; your paintings are always amazing but this one shows love.” She smiled at him.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeff grumbled.
“Well I have to go find Suzie. But we will talk more about this,” she said and then patted him on the arm and left.
Jeff spotted Suzie’s shirt and bra lying on the floor where he had thrown it. Had his mom noticed? He picked it up and took the stairs two at a time then tossed it to Suzie. “You better get going.”
“Yeah,” was all she replied. He stared at her silently as she got dressed then guided her out to a hidden deck surrounded by thick brush. He pulled her in for one more passionate kiss and then led her through a secret path that led to one of the paths she had walked earlier.
“Go that way,” he pointed, “and you will get back to the cabin.” Then he slipped back into hiding in the trees.
Suzie walked a few steps in the direction he had gestured and then turned to look. Jeff was gone. A few steps further was a bench and Suzie sat down. She could not see if Jeff was still watching, but from the forest he could see her clearly and he studied her while she thought she was alone. Suzie hung her head and rubbed her temples with her palms. Then she stretched out and sat elongated in pensive thought. She felt on the edge of two worlds. It fascinated her that Jeff had been in the studio this afternoon, that no matter how hard she tried she could not get away from him, from his smell, from his touch. She moaned thinking about the things he did to her. No man had made her feel like that and here, alone in the forest she relished the feeling. The way he touched her was rough needing and pushy. She moaned again and let her hand wander under her pants, feeling her wetness. She rubbed herself, thinking about Jeff wanting to paint her, seeing his look when she was naked in front of him. If only they had enough time to rid themselves of their passion for each other. Maybe it was a temporary thing that just needed to be rubbed out. Suzie moaned again still touching herself, her hand a terrible replacement for Jeff. She cried out in frustration and pulled at her clothes. Jeff, still watching from the trees trembled with excitement and arousal seeing her move her hands up her body and wishing they were his. She stopped at her breasts and fondled them herself, licking her lips. She wiggled in her seat, eyes closed and remembering. Jeff was holding himself back, bulging out of his pants wanting to go to her and take her right there on the bench.