by Vicki Tharp
“You?”
“I’d made you a promise. At the last second, I couldn’t keep it.” Then her face fell and twisted, the color rushing in, making her skin blotchy and her nose run. “As I watched you hang there, my heart beat black and all I wanted was revenge. Revenge on the man who was taking you from me, revenge for having to make an impossible promise, revenge for my weakness for not being able to keep that promise. In those final seconds, all I wanted was the bastard dead. Nothing else mattered. Not me…not you…just him. Dead.” She choked on a sob and tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let her.
“Irish—”
“No, l-let me finish.” When she’d collected herself, she met his gaze and her brilliant green eyes dimmed, losing all luster. “But mostly, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry that I let you down. Because as bad as what you went through was, you lived. And for that I will never be sorry.”
Boomer glanced away. He’d been a selfish, selfish bastard. “I was wrong to have you make that promise.”
“You’ve got that fucking right,” Sidney said, but she couldn’t hide the tight grin.
He returned her smile and the light behind her eyes brightened by a few watts. “At least you got El Verdugo. That makes the hanging almost worth it.”
Sidney dropped her gaze to her lap.
He was almost afraid to ask. “What?”
“I must have missed. In the confusion, he got away.”
Boomer dropped his head back on the pillow, his jaw slack. “Tell me what happened.”
Sidney pulled up a chair and spent the rest of her visiting time filling him in on how Mac and Hank had radioed in their position and how the drug task force helicopter had sent men in, fast-roping down from the helicopters to contain the situation. How when she’d checked the line of handcuffed men, El Verdugo wasn’t there.
“Unfortunately, Sheriff St. John came by the other night and told us that while the task force had found some heroin and marijuana on some of the men, and traces of it in their packs, they didn’t find enough to lock them up for very long. The kidnapping charges, they’re still figuring out. They’d hoped some of them would turn on El Verdugo, but they’d rather spend time in jail or be deported than talk.”
“So basically, the authorities got nothing.” Bryan frowned and grunted his frustration. “With El Verdugo still out there, it won’t take him long to hire more men, to get his routes up and running again.”
“Basically.” Sidney shrugged. “I still don’t understand why El Jefe brought us to the camp if he was the one who stole the fake diamonds. He knew you were lying the whole time.”
“What better way to avoid becoming a suspect than by bringing your boss the man who admits to stealing them.”
“The truth was bound to come out,” Sidney said.
“Eventually, but I think he’d planned on either him or me being gone long before that happened.”
“Most likely.” She smiled and patted his hand. “All I care about now is getting you back to the ranch—” Bryan frowned. “What was that?” Slowly, Sidney stood up. “Why did you make that face?” Her words were wary.
“I…I don’t know if I’m coming back,” Boomer said. The words physically hurt to speak, as if they were little bombs of deadly truth.
Sidney stepped back. “Of course you’re coming back. Your friends are there. Mac is there…I’m there.”
He closed his eyes because he wasn’t strong enough to tell her to her face. “When I’m discharged, I’m checking into a rehab facility.” He opened his eyes. “After that…”
Her chin went up a notch, but when she swallowed it was with such difficulty it was as if she’d been the one who’d swung by her neck like a piñata, not him. “Will I see you when you get out?”
He wanted to tell her yes. That he wanted her, that he needed her, that he loved her. But he needed to find the man he used to be, before Fallujah, before a traitor took his leg, before the booze, before the drugs. He needed to find that man for himself. Without that man, they had no future. He already knew how devastating it was to make a promise he couldn’t keep. He couldn’t do that to her again.
He shrugged in reply.
* * * *
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the receptionist at the rehab facility said in a tired, apathetic voice, as if she’d repeated the same words over and over again until they’d become rote. “If a patient doesn’t wish to have visitors, then you can’t go back there.”
“Could you tell him that Sidney is here to see him? If he knows I’m here—”
“Ma’am—”
Halfway down the long hall, a heavy door clicked closed, echoing down the artificially cheerful space. Sidney glanced up and her heart climbed into her throat, making it hard for her to swallow, to breathe, to talk. Bryan stood by the wall, his gaze locked on her.
He looked good. Thinner than he’d been, but even from that distance, she could tell the bruising and swelling on his face had resolved. The way he stared, there was no doubt he’d recognized her.
For weeks she’d dreamed about this moment. About seeing him again, reconnecting. How she would run into his arms and he would scoop her up and swing her around the way men do in all the movies.
But that was the silver screen. That was a fiction people shelled out good money to see because the truth sucked hairy, white donkey balls.
She raised her hand and waved and waited for that sexy smile. Waited for him to run down the hall to greet her. He didn’t smile or wave or budge.
He stood there, blinking.
Reality was a bitter bitch of a pill to swallow—it sliced and diced and filleted her flesh as it went down, nicking her heart as it slid past.
Her brain couldn’t comprehend what was going on. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was backlit and he didn’t recognize her. Maybe… “Bryan.” Her voice came out thick, but loud enough to carry.
He blinked once more, then turned and retreated down the hall, his shoulders hunched, his head down like he was trudging through a hurricane.
“I’m sorry,” the receptionist said, this time actually sounding contrite. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
The heat of embarrassment rushed up and Sidney knew her face would be only a few shades lighter than her hair. She nodded to the woman and headed for the exit.
When her hand depressed the bar on the heavy institutional door, the receptionist said, “If it helps any, he’s refused all visitors, not just you.”
Instead of replying, Sidney pushed through the door and out into the Rock Springs sun. At her truck, she collapsed against the door and tried to catch her breath. Not easy to do when her heart was bleeding out into her chest.
Knowing he had refused all visitors didn’t make her feel any better. It meant he was isolating himself from everyone who loved him, supported him. That couldn’t be good.
Maybe he needs some space. A growl of frustration clawed its way to the surface, and Sidney channeled Bryan and said, “Fuck space.”
* * * *
“Somehow this doesn’t feel right.” Sidney said to Mac as she dumped her suitcase and a trash bag full of Pepita’s clothes on the floor of Bryan’s cabin.
The curtains were open and the early afternoon sun streamed in, highlighting the dust motes circling in the air. The cabin had sat unused since Bryan had gone into rehab, and in the weeks that had followed, dust had settled on all the surfaces. It would take a few hours of good scrubbing and mopping to get it livable.
“You and Pepita need the space. That room in the barn was never meant to house two people. Besides, it’ll look better that you have your own space when the foster agency comes for their home inspection next week.”
Mac moved to the bed Bryan had been using, pulled out an Army green duffel from beneath it, and started packing it with his clothes and personal items. She plucked his dog t
ags from around the top post of the bed, held them in her hand and stared at them.
Sidney stepped over and ran her index finger over the letters of his name stamped into the piece of metal. “Is it okay if we leave these here?”
Mac glanced up at her. Her face was devoid of makeup, as usual, and her brown hair was in a ponytail sticking out the back of her USMC baseball cap. Mac swallowed hard. “Yeah, I think he’d like that.”
Mac replaced the dog tags, then plopped on the edge of his bed. “Sidney…”
“Uh oh,” Sidney turned one of the kitchen table chairs around and sat down. “That doesn’t sound good.”
A smile flashed across Mac’s face, but it was weak and perfunctory. “Boomer has lived through a lot, even before what happened on the mountain, and as his friend—”
“Wait, wait.” Sidney held up a hand, and was only half kidding when she said, “Is this where you tell me if I break his heart you’re going to kill me in my sleep? Save your breath, because it’s pretty clear I don’t have that kind of power over him.”
“Just give him some time—”
Sidney shot out of her seat, gesticulating with her hands and arms. “Are you freaking kidding me? I’ve given him nothing but time! It’s been over three months. I’ve tried to see him, but he refused. I’ve called, I’ve written, and it’s like everything I’m sending out is being sucked into this big void, this black hole of…of…nothingness. It’s like I don’t even exist. So yeah, don’t think you have to worry about me hurting him. Whatever we had—”
“Whatever you had was pretty damn special to him,” Mac piped in. “I saw the way he looked at you, the way he was when he was around you. I hadn’t seen that kind of light in his eyes in a very long time. Whatever happens, I want to thank you for that. It was good for him to feel that kind of love again, to feel something beyond the emotional and physical pain he bears every single day.”
Sidney’s throat tightened and she fell back into her seat before her legs dropped from beneath her. Then she glanced back up at Mac and gave voice to the thing she’d feared most since their rescue. “What if he doesn’t come back to me?”
Mac zipped his duffel and kicked it back under the bed. “Well, if it were me…” When she finally glanced back at Sidney, a smile was on her lips and she said, “I wouldn’t give him that option.”
“You said to give him some time.”
“Yeah, well. I take it back. Screw time.” Mac glanced at her watch. The timepiece was a lot like Bryan’s, with a big black face and all sorts of dials. Even though it was bulky and masculine, it suited her. “It’s Saturday. You still have plenty of time to get to the facility before visiting hours are over.”
“I tried that. Many times. He refuses to see me.”
“One of the reasons I hired you,” Mac said, “is that you didn’t strike me as someone who gave up easily. You fought for your job, for your reputation. Now fight for Boomer.”
The darkness that resided in her chest where her heart used to be brightened like someone had flipped the breaker back on. Her heart kicked in her chest, proving to Sidney it wasn’t dead, and she smiled.
“I’ll pack a bag for me and Pepita and—”
“Just worry about yourself. Hank and I will take care of Pepita. We’re going to the rodeo tonight. She can bunk with us overnight if you decide to wait him out.”
“Thank you,” Sidney said. “I owe you one.”
“Just bring him back and we’ll be even.”
“Deal.”
Outside, a truck door slammed, and then another, but Sidney was too focused on getting her backpack packed for the overnight trip to pay it any attention. She dug into her suitcase and pulled out a couple of T-shirts and some underwear.
Behind her, the cabin door opened and Mac said, “Hey,” though it came out a little breathless, like someone had knocked her to the ground. What the…?
Sidney turned around, vaguely aware that one of her bras dangled haplessly from her hand. In the doorway stood Bryan, with his hair a little too long and his clothes a little too loose.
“Hey yourself,” he said back to Mac, but his eyes were glued to Sidney.
Mac stepped up to him and socked him in the bicep hard enough to bruise.
“Ow, what the fuck?” He turned his attention to Mac.
“Of all the things they taught you in rehab, I hope to hell they taught you how to grovel, Marine.”
Without waiting for a reply, Mac stepped around him onto the porch and closed the door behind her. Her voice carried into the cabin as she berated Hank for keeping Bryan’s homecoming a secret.
Bryan stood there with his hat in hand, literally, and, by the sheepish look on his face, figuratively. He glanced around the cabin and she wondered if he was taking in the fact his belongings were packed away. Then he noticed her suitcase and the backpack and of course the bra in her hand.
A slight smile twisted his lips. “Going somewhere?”
Tossing her bra onto her suitcase, she stepped over to him until she was no more than a foot away. Her hands shook and the blood rattled and whooshed past her ears, sounding like a washing machine in bad need of repair. She thought about lying, saying she was unpacking, but this was no time for head games or half-truths or lies.
She lifted her chin, looked him in the eye, and said, “I was coming to see you, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.”
He stood there like he had in the hallway of the rehab facility weeks before and blinked at her. Then her lungs started to burn. She took a breath and then another. When she thought he’d turn away and walk out of her life the same way he’d walked down that hallway, his lips turned up into a face-splitting grin, his teeth flashing behind his beard.
He cupped the back of her head. “I love a woman who doesn’t know when to quit.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The cabin was too warm and sweat beaded at his temple as Boomer stared down at Sidney in amazement. He didn’t just love a woman who didn’t know when to quit, he loved this woman. Yet, after the way he’d treated her, it was almost too much to hope that she still loved him too.
Easing in closer, he couldn’t take his eyes off hers. They were impossibly green, like lush grass on a mountain hillside that made you want to strip off all your clothes and roll around naked. His cock twitched. To hell with the mountain and the lush grass. He just wanted to roll around naked with her. He didn’t care where.
Just when.
Just now.
She licked her lips and said, “Remember all those things you said you wanted to do to me when you were better?”
Suddenly his jeans no longer fit. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “How could I forget?”
“Time to put up or shut up.”
He pressed his lips to hers, gentle at first. She traced his lip with her tongue and as soon as he opened for her, she dove in, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He laughed and stepped back to catch his balance as he palmed her ass and held her tight against him.
“I want you,” he ground out as he buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed her in—hay and horses and honesty.
When Hank’s truck roared to life, it reminded him it was the middle of the day and his cabin had no lock on the door. She crossed her ankles behind his back and he snagged one of the chairs and shoved it under the doorknob.
Then she thrust her tongue into his mouth and ground her pelvis against him. Suddenly, the bed was too far away. He turned and pressed her back against the door.
He managed to pull back enough to ask, “Was taking you against the door on the list?”
“If it wasn’t, it should’ve been.” She reached a hand down between them and undid his belt and the top button of his jeans.
When she reached her hand into his briefs and grabbed hold of him, he hisse
d in a breath and rested his forehead on hers. His lungs heaved, but his ribs had finally healed enough and he felt no pain, only pleasure. He rubbed his hands along her firm thighs.
She started stroking him, long and slow and… “You need to stop that. I want to be inside you when I come.”
She released him and tugged off her T-shirt and slipped out of her bra. With Sidney braced firmly against the door, he palmed both breasts, then teased her nipples until they peaked. Unable to resist, he sucked first one and then the other into his mouth, getting lost as he laved and nibbled.
She arched her back. Ran her fingers through his hair. Then eased him away.
“Fuck me, Bryan.” It was a simple whispered command that was easy to understand and impossible to disobey,
God, he loved that word.
His heart kicked against his chest, one hard, rib-cracking thump as he dropped her legs to the floor and quickly stripped her of her boots and jeans. She unbuttoned his shirt. When she fumbled with the last button, he reached down and tore his shirt open. The button popped and dinged against the window before hitting the floor and rolling away.
With his prosthetic, it would take too long to take his jeans off so he pushed his jeans down to his knees and Sidney jumped back into his arms and resettled her legs around his waist. He groaned as her pelvis ground against him. He’d hardly touched her and he was about to explode.
Reaching between them, he rubbed her clit with his finger and slipped his hand farther down. She was already hot and wet for him. His nostrils flared as he caught the scent of her in the air. He plunged a finger in, then two. She strained against him, and her head fell back as her walls clamped down around his fingers.
Then she trapped his head between her hands and forced him to look at her. “Now, Bryan.”
He dropped his head to hers and groaned with the most horrifying thought. “I don’t have any condoms.”
“It’s okay, we’re covered.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m on the pill. And I had myself tested.” Her cheeks pinked. “Just in case.”