Most individuals aren’t able to pinpoint the exact moment when the bond they share with their partner shifted for the worst. Most couples can’t specify a solitary event when everything began to change, crossing over the imaginary line separating a great relationship from one that’s doomed to fail.
But I can.
My life changed the day Ari entered it.
Jenna’s did too.
The difference is that mine changed for the better.
Now, a void stretches between us—deeper than the Mariana Trench and longer than the equator. While the word void technically implies the absence of something, our case is different. It’s so palpable I could probably reach out and touch it if I were to try. Every day the space grows wider, as does that dawning realization the girl I thought I’d spend my life with, might not fit into it anymore.
While that realization hurts, there’s something about the depth of my pain that screams for acknowledgment. I’ve dealt with loss before. I’m no stranger to the sensation, but something keeps nagging me, a question I can’t seem to find the answer to…
If Jenna’s truly the love of my life, why does the thought of losing her feel more like a slap in the face than a knife driven through the heart?
Chapter Four
Lyra
It’s Sunday morning and our town’s diner is hopping. Not exactly a fun work environment, buy hey, I’ll take it. I could use the tips; it’s how I make my living. I have money put back from my mom’s life insurance policy, but I’ve been saving it, hoping to one day open what I like to call a mental and bodily wellness studio.
I want to run special sessions allowing people to create art, painting specifically—which is where the mental wellness comes in—and to participate in activities like dance and yoga—hence the bodily wellness. It’s a topic very close to my heart, the need to help people who are struggling. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately—ever how you look at it—I’m not too naïve to realize the type of place I want to open would be in low-demand in such a small town. I wouldn’t have enough patrons to keep the doors open.
Oh, well. Dreams are for tomorrow, reality is for today.
On the way in this morning, I dropped Willow back off at home with her parents and didn’t get a chance to see how their date night went since I was running behind as usual. I know Gray had something special up his sleeve, but I also know that despite it being her birthday celebration, Valley had a surprise for him as well.
“Auntie,” I hear a sweet little someone call out over the garbled restaurant commotion. It’s as if thinking about her somehow conjured her up. I sit the drinks down on the table I’m currently waiting on, then glance toward the door. Sure enough, my big brother is standing there with Willow clinging to one side like a monkey would a tree, and Valley tucked into the other side, one arm draped around her. Picture-perfect perfection.
Not for the first time, I envy them.
If I were offered just a fraction of the love they share with another, I would jump at the chance.
I grin at Willow, waving them over to my section which is always the one with the most available tables. A vast majority of the town hates my family due to the accident my father was involved in, which took the lives of three people. Because he had gone through a period of heavy drinking after losing my mother to cancer, everyone blamed him despite the fact his BAC came back clean. Most townies avoid my section unless they’re just in the mood to pick on someone. I’m the probably the most-used punching-bad in all of Central Valley.
Don’t get me wrong, there are those select few who are nice to me, but most of my tips come from tourists. If it weren’t for the fact an old family friend, Grace Laurent’s family owns this place, I definitely wouldn’t have a job at all.
My family slides into the booth I pointed them to, and I immediately start asking questions.
“Soooo…How’d it goooo?” I prompt, my eyes sliding back and forth between my brother and sister-in-law.
They both share a look, and I don’t miss the way Valley’s face has a beautiful glowing blush to it.
“Oh, gross. Forget I asked. I’ve gotten my answer,” I remark before they can impart any details I don’t want to hear. I’m not going to lie. Those two go at it a lot. So much in fact, I’ve accidently walked in on them before, putting all of us in an awkward position…more than once.
They both chuckle. “We had a great night,” Gray replies, a smug-ass expression settling over his face.
I shake my head, rolling my eyes. “Well that’s just peachy.”
“Thank you for watching Willow for us, and for taking her to the festival. She had a lot of fun.” Valley wraps her arm around Lo and smiles at her.
“Yeah, I want to go with Auntie next year!” Lo roars, a little too enthusiastically for good restaurant etiquette. I laugh, but Valley shushes her, whispering in her ear that it’s rude to yell while other people are eating.
“We’ll definitely go next year,” I agree, shooting my niece a sly wink.
“And I want Ari to meet us there next year too,” she adds, instantly perking up.
Both adult eyes turn to me in question, and I mentally groan.
“Who’s Ari?” They both say in unison.
“A new boyfriend?” Gray arches his brow at me before I’ve even been given an opportunity to answer.
I watch as Valley not-so-subtly kicks him under the table, shooting him a warning glare, but the damage has been done.
Marcus. My blood runs cold thinking about my Ex. Our relationship ending was the beginning of a downward spiral—the darkest and lowest point in my life. I’ve not dated anyone since, and I have no plans to let anyone in again.
I avoid relationships like the plague, but lately Valley has been pushing for me to get back out there and give love another shot. Even going so far as to suggest I join one of those dating apps and sites, like Tinder and Match.
No fucking thanks.
What would I even put as a description?
I can picture my biography now.
Sexually Repressed, “Cute and Colorful” 25 year-old Female who is Anti-Relationship, seeks Hot & Sexy Man to spend quality time with… Not picky. Only requirements are that you must have a great smile, an awesome sense of humor, a general understanding of right and wrong, an adventurous personality, must be an animal lover, and must come with a brain. Hard limits: Complete and utter assholes. Abs with a V-cut are also a definite must.
I’m completely immersed in reliving the horrors of relationships and my prerequisites for desirable men, to answer the question of the hour. Who is Ari? Thankfully, little Lo answers it for me.
“Ari is four. He’s my boyfriend,” she sasses.
Oh, good Lord, help me.
Gray glares the most hateful glare I’ve ever seen, directing it at yours truly. Shit. I hold up my hands in surrender.
“Whoa, now. That’s not how it went. He was lost, and we found him, then returned him to his father,” I say through nervous laughter, because seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gray so furious in my life. His evil expression smooths just a fraction.
“That better be the case,” he grumbles under his breath, causing me and Valley to catch each other’s eyes and grin. I don’t know how he’ll cope when she really does have her first boyfriend.
“So, what you guys drinking today?” I prompt, hoping putting some good grub in my brother will improve his craptastic mood.
“Same ‘ol, same ‘ol,” Gray says, reaching to the center of the table to rip three paper-towels off the rack to place in front of each member of his family. I arch a questioning brow at Valley, who doesn’t seem to notice because she’s whispering something soothing into Lo’s ear.
I then attempt to clear my throat loudly, but still to no avail.
Of course, Gray notices my weird behavior, and both of his brows crinkle in suspicion.
“Are you sure you want a coffee, V?” I ask pointedly, finally garnering her attention. Her head s
naps up like a deer caught in headlights, and the action more or less answers the question I’ve been wondering about all morning.
“No, no,” she rushes out. “I’ll just take only orange juice this time. I’ve had a cup of coffee already. Don’t think I need any more today,” she begins to ramble.
Gray narrows his eyes at her, his gaze sliding back and forth between the two of us.
“Okie Dokie, well, give me y’alls order then and I’ll turn them in,” I insist, mostly to pull us out of the awkward moment. I write down Gray’s and Lo’s order, and then scribble down Valley’s.
“I want some fresh fruit, a side of bacon, one slice of French toast, and some scrambled eggs cooked very well. Oooh, and hashbrowns all the way. You’ll share some of my hashbrowns won’t you babe?” She double-checks with my brother, who’s studying her like a sudoku puzzle he can’t figure out.
“Uh, yeah, Buttercup,” he says slowly, his fingertips sliding up to his temples as he begins to massage them. “But, do you realize you ordered your eggs cooked well? You always order them cooked very soft scrambled…Are you feeling okay?” His voice is filled with concern which I find both adorable and humorous, seeing as she just ordered quite a bit of food, so her appetite is clearly intact.
There’s no way she’s sick.
“Yep.” Valley grabs up all the menus and quickly passes them over to me, avoiding eye-contact.
As I walk toward the kitchen to turn in the order, I can hear my brother still pestering her. “You’ve been acting really strange all morning.” It’s the last thing I make out of their exchange before I push open the doors and walk up to the line cook to hang the ticket.
“Make it with love, Jimmy. It’s for my family,” I tease.
Jimmy grins back as he starts cracking eggs and putting them into a bowl to whisk. “Will do, Lyra. They won’t have as much love as I’d put in your food, but I’ll give it my best,” comes his flirty reply paired with a sly wink. I roll my eyes.
I set to work making all the drinks, scribbling something special on Lo’s cup before positioning them on a tray. Then, I head back out on the floor.
It only takes a second to realize there’s only two people sitting at the table now.
“I got someone a chocolate milk,” I sing-song, placing the lidded cup in front of Willow, complete with a willow tree sketch on the side.
“Look, Daddy!” Willow waves the cup around in front of his face. “Auntie brought me a magical cup, with my tree on it,” she vocalizes excitedly. Gray gives her a weak smile, nodding to acknowledge her statement, but his head keeps craning in the direction of the bathroom.
“Where’d Valley go?” I sit his coffee down onto the paper towel in front of him.
“Bathroom. Think you can check on her? One of the other waitresses came by with Livermush on a plate, and you know how she despises that stuff. Her face turned green and she went rushing off. I’m…” he trails off, his brows pinching together as his lips settle into a thin line for a moment. Finally, he takes a deep breath. “I’m scared something’s wrong with her and she’s hiding it from me. She’s too young to get sick.”
His voice holds emotion that’s way too heavy for that statement alone, but being his sister, I hear everything he isn’t saying. Cancer is always a concern in our family—Mom died from it right after Gray graduated High School.
“She’s fine, Gray. Stop freaking out over little stuff. Did you not hear all that food she ordered?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood. “Lucky for you, y’all are my only table right now. I’ll check on her for you. Be right back.”
I take off toward the restrooms, sliding my tray on the end of the bar nearest the waitress station as I go.
“V?” I ask as soon as I open the door. The little restaurant is so small it only has room for two stalls, and one of the two is open at the moment.
A toilet flushes, and I hear a latch sliding out of place. As soon as the stall door opens, her slate eyes meet mine.
“Gray is really worried about you,” I point out, moving out of her way as she makes her way to the sink, splashing some water on her face. She sighs, lathering up her hands and running them beneath the steaming water. “V, he’s thinking about Mom when she was sick, and it’s freaking him out a little bit.”
She pauses, seeming to let the words sink in. Her head slowly shakes. “He always blows things way out of proportion.”
“That he does,” I nod. “You need to stop worrying so much, and just get it over and done with, that way he stops worrying,” I suggest.
“I’m nervous,” she mumbles, averting her eyes.
“Oh, good God. Come on,” I loop my arm through hers just as she finishes drying her hands. “Put the poor fellow out of his misery. Tell him what’s going on. You’re scared about how he’ll react, but I know my brother. He loves you, like abso-fucking-lutely adores you. You could probably admit to him you cheated by getting gangbanged by a band of midgets and have a secret foot fetish for hairy toes, and he’d still look at you like you shit rainbows and fart out glitter.”
She bursts out laughing just as her eyes begin to water. “You really think so?” she asks, her voice full of hope.
“About which part? The rainbows and glitter or the fact he loves you?” I tease. “Yes, I’m sure,” I nudge her carefully in the side with my elbow.
“You’re right. I should just let it out,” she agrees, although it sounds more like she’s uttering a pep-talk to herself than anything.
I escort her back to the table, not even giving a shit what any of the customers think about our being apparent potty pals who come out of the bathroom practically holding hands. I’m just thankful we’ve mended our friendship, and that she’s not only my friend now, but my sister.
“Shit. Look at his face,” she whispers as we approach the table. Sure enough, Gray’s posture perks up when he sees her approaching, his gaze flicking over her uncertainly.
“Like I said, put him out of his misery,” I say just a little too loudly, and I’m certain Gray hears me because he looks taken aback suddenly.
Valley slides into the booth beside Willow, splaying her hands across the table to thread her knuckles through his open fingers that are resting palm-side down on the surface. His eyes become immediately troubled, his gaze flicking down to their conjoined hands and back to her face.
She takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Something is wrong…or, not necessarily wrong. It’s actually pretty right. I was just nervous to tell you because we weren’t planning on building that addition on the house until next summer.”
His forehead crinkles in confusion. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“We need to start on it sooner,” V insists, and I stifle a chuckle as my brother still struggles to understand what she’s telling him.
“Whatever you need, Buttercup,” he says earnestly. “But you’re still kind of freaking me out a little bit. Care to explain?” He arches an eyebrow at his wife, and she bites her lip, glancing over at Willow for a split second.
“Well, we have plenty of room for three people in our home, but four is a bit of a stretch…”
Gray cocks his head at her, further proving Men aren’t the brightest of creatures. Bless his heart.
“Oh, jeez,” she sighs, rolling her eyes dramatically. “We’re having another baby.”
He blinks at her, then a huge shit-eating grin splits across his face. I barely have time to move out of his way before he’s out of his side of the booth and coming around the table to hers, pulling her to a standing position and scooping her up in his arms to nuzzle his face into her neck. I almost want to cry—okay, I’ll admit it. I tear up a little bit watching the scene. He’s so freaking happy he doesn’t even care about the fact every set of eyes in the restaurant have been drawn to them. He’s completely oblivious, stuck in his own perfect world, which is what makes it so beautiful.
And even though it’s only nine in the morning, and I’m having to work on a Sun
day of all days…I can tell today’s going to be a good one.
Chapter Five
Lyra
You know how they say men get sympathy cravings when their woman is pregnant? And that a woman has this beautiful glow to her when she’s expecting? Well, it’s true, but there’s a lot more to it than that. When I wave goodbye to my family forty-five minutes later, I swear all three of them are glowing.
There’s a legit aura of happiness surrounding them and I just want to claim that I’m sick and leave with them; to wrap my arms around the three of them an hope to Hell some of that same happiness rubs off on me and becomes permanent.
It would be the perfect medication—a natural remedy—for when I have my bad days.
Unfortunately, I still have three hours left until my shift is over. I don’t even know why I bother. I’ll probably get only a handful of tables for the remainder of my time.
I head to the back to do some side-work instead. The hostess, Teresa, knows the drill. I do most of the bitch work for the other waitresses, and she lets me know if I’m lucky enough to have someone sit in my section.
I’m just finishing up with slicing the lemons and putting them back into the fridge when Teresa hollers into the kitchen for me.
“Lyra, table!” She refuses to even step into the employee area, giving me a pointed look from the swinging doors leading into the dining area like I’m somehow doing something wrong by following our everyday protocol.
“Be right there,” I sigh, taking off the rubber gloves and tying my little half-apron back around my hips.
When I step back out on the floor, I immediately notice the only table in my section that’s occupied. A man and a little boy have their backs to me, and with the way the morning sun is shining in through the windows, I can’t see who they are. Probably just someone passing through, or else they wouldn’t be there to begin with.
Recompense For Love: Book Three of the Against All Odds Series Page 4