by Karen Ferry
“Suzy!” I shout when she enters the elevator, and I’m just about to grab onto the closing doors when she lifts her head, eyes shining but hard as flint.
“Fucking fool,” she mutters, giving me the finger.
I’m stunned silent, and stop hard in my tracks, my arms falling to my sides. I watch her tearstained cheeks until the doors close, and then I’m alone.
“Fuck!” I roar, and then stomp back to my apartment.
“STUPID. ALPHA. MALE! IDIOT! Fucktard!” I curse loudly as I walk down the street, heading towards my sanctuary. My blood boils, adrenaline coursing through my veins…Never in my life have I felt anger the likes of this.
“Who the hell does he think he is?! Ordering me around like that?”
It’s not as much the words as the way he looked and his tone of voice; he was off – gone. The Garrett I have seen the last couple of weeks wasn’t present. And it kind of scared me to see the change in him; that, and his stupid assumption of me being a meek little girl who wouldn’t dare ask him what’s going on, are what makes me see red like a bull, and I don’t want to be anywhere near him.
I enter Central Park and find a spot on a bench situated not twenty feet inside. I plop down like a sack of potatoes, my breath heaving now that the worst of my temper has subsided. I have to think.
I groan and close my eyes when the realisation that I have to find another home enters my mind. I can’t keep living with Garrett. Not after this.
“Suzy?” A man’s voice makes me snap my eyes open, and I look up to my right.
“Fred?” I smile weakly at him. “Fancy meeting you here.”
I met Fred on the first night I went clubbing in NYC. Although his Goth-like appearance with an impressive mohawk probably frightens most people, I think he’s hot. From the look of him, you’d never think he’s a drag queen who works at FDB alongside Safiro. That night, we went back to his place after having danced and kissed all night, and I ended up staying the night. The sex was great, but the next day, the attraction towards him had vanished; so we ended up deciding to become friends instead of regular lovers.
He grins at me, lip ring between his teeth, before he sits down beside me. I glance at his mohawk.
“I see you’re sticking with the purple colour.”
He winks at me and rests his leather-clad arm behind my back.
“Yep. Don’t you think it suits me?”
His smile is infectious and I grin back at him and bat my lashes. “Darling, you look positively radiant.”
He throws back his head and laughs at me, a clear-to-goodness belly laugh; while a part of me wants to join him, my current predicament prevents me from doing just that. I sigh and look away from him. As happy as I am to see him, I’m kind of annoyed that he’s interrupted my solitude.
His laughter dies down quickly. “Hey, what’s up? Why do you look as if your cat died?”
“I don’t have a cat,” I answer automatically as I glance at him.
He shrugs. “I have one, and I think that the look on your gorgeous face right now? That’s how I’d look if something happened to Romeo.”
I tilt my head and purse my lips. “Fred, let me ask you something…”
“Sure.”
“If you’d just been in a screaming match with a man who’s not only your roommate, but who’d just spent the night pleasuring you in ways you’d only ever read or heard about – someone who fascinates you to no end – would you remain mad at him or forgive him?”
His eyes have darkened, causing the blue to turn to a beautiful cobalt colour. My cheeks heat up from the sexual gleam in them.
“I’d definitely forgive him,” he grumbles.
I gape at him. “You would? Why?!”
He scoots closer to me. His arm encircles my shoulder completely, and his fingertips start to play with my hair, shooting tingles down my back.
“Because, my dear, innocent girl, any man who makes a woman react like it sounds you did? He’s worth fighting for.”
I frown. “Even if his behaviour was like that of a Neanderthal? Even if he spoke to you in such a way that is unacceptable?”
It’s Fred’s turn to frown. “Obviously, I wouldn’t let him off the hook that easily, and I’d definitely write him off if a similar situation should ever happen again, but everyone deserves a second chance, girl. Even Neanderthals.”
I pout, and dash his hand away.
“Stop distracting me, Fred.”
He leans in and whispers in my ear, “But I love to distract you.”
“Stop it, please. I thought we’d agreed that there would never be more than friendship between us.”
His warm breath fans my cheek, and I’m beginning to feel a bit alarmed.
“Friends can also be lovers, Suzy,” he whispers. I shake my head and stand from the bench.
“Please don’t. You just told me to forgive another man for pissing me off, and now you’re trying to get me to agree to some sort of friends-with-benefits thing? What’s wrong with you?”
His eyes turn thoughtful for a moment, and he bites his lip ring.
We stay silent, and I cross my arms, waiting for him to answer me.
“Well, you can’t blame a man for trying, sweet cheeks.” He shrugs and claps his hands once. “But I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.”
His apology makes the unease fade, and I soften towards him.
“I guess I should be flattered,” I murmur as he stands up and walks towards me.
He stops a few steps from me and that boyish grin is back.
“Sorry…It’s just that…” He looks down and shuffles his right foot against the gravel. “Well, I care about you, okay? And I thought that I couldn’t let this chance meeting go to waste…” When his head lifts, I smile gently at him, and he grins once more. “What can I say? You’re hot, darling. And really, honestly, fantastic in bed. And on the kitchen counter.”
For the first time since waking up this morning, I laugh.
Shaking my head, I chuckle, “You’re incorrigible, Fred.”
He gives me a chin lift. “I know. It’s part of my charm.”
My good mood plummets quickly, and I turn my eyes to the ground, not sure of what to do next.
“You okay?” Fred asks me. I shrug.
“Yeah, I guess. I didn’t really have a plan when I stormed out of the apartment earlier.”
Fred takes his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, and switches it on.
“It’s too early for lunch, but how about we go get a cup of coffee at Starbucks? I don’t have any plans, and I was headed there myself when I bumped into you.”
I smile at him. “That sounds like a good idea. Let’s go. Then I get a chance to grill you on what sort of mischief you’ve been up to since we last saw each other.”
He returns his phone to his pants and holds his arm out to me.
“Come on, gorgeous.”
Linking my arm with his, I do as he asks and we walk in silence out of the park.
As I leave Fred after our coffee date, my phone pings for the third time since I left Garrett, but I keep ignoring it. It’s probably not even him texting me, but on the off chance that it is, I’m not prepared to read them yet.
When my phone rings, I quickly remove it from my purse and check caller-ID. When I see the name, I smile wide and answer my friend from home.
“Emma! Hey!”
“Hi, lovely. Just wanted to check in, hear how you’re doing?”
I stop at the front door leading me up to my temporary home and rub my forehead.
“Not that great,” I admit as I insert the key in the lock.
“Oh? What’s wrong?”
I sigh. “What do you want to hear about first? My mother calling last night, or how I walked out on Garrett in a mad hurry this morning, giving him the finger in the process?”
“Holy fuck!” Emma whisper-shouts. I chuckle weakly as I walk inside and head to the elevator.
“Yep, exactly.�
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“Sweetie, why don’t you start with your conversation with your mum?”
As I wait for the elevator, I give her a rundown of the call, and while I was prepared for it to leave me slightly depressed, I wasn’t prepared for the tears to start running down my cheeks.
“Em, I’m such a mess,” I sniffle and try to stop the wet globs coursing down, but they seem endless. “I want my mum back, but I can’t forget or forgive her for what she said before I left for New York. I just can’t,” I sob and scan the lobby for other people. I don’t want to have an audience to my breakdown.
Emma’s voice sounds teary as well. “Suzy, please don’t cry. I can’t take it. Maybe…maybe you should come home, try to sort it out with her?”
“No!” I shout, and enter the elevator. “No,” I repeat, a bit more calm, and open my purse to find a tissue. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? You can stay in either mine or Daniel’s flat instead of your own. None of us will tell your parents that you’re back before you’d planned.”
I breathe deeply as I dab at my eyes, hesitating. Maybe Emma’s right…maybe I should do as she says.
Garrett.
As his name enters my thoughts, I already know the answer. As angry as I still am with him, I can’t leave him yet.
“I can’t come home yet, Em,” I whisper.
“What do you mean?” she asks. I can’t help but hear the hint of suspicion in her voice. “Why do I get the feeling that something’s happened between you and that Ben Dahlhaus-lookalike who’s your landlord?”
“Probably because there has.” I’ve not kept my crush on him a secret from Emma these past weeks, but I feel a bit reluctant to reveal all his talents and how he made me feel last night. What we did might not have been followed by words of love, but that doesn’t negate the intimacy of our acts. Not to me, anyway.
“And…?” Emma persists.
“Okay, I’ll tell you the short version, but only because I don’t want to freak you out, and also because I’m in a public elevator and people might walk in any minute.”
“Oh, boy,” Emma mumbles.
“You can say that again.”
It doesn’t take me that long to tell her all the kinks Garrett and I indulged in during the night, and I can tell from Em’s heavy breathing that she isn’t entirely unaffected once I’ve finished.
When she remains silent for some time, I call out, “Em? Are you still there?”
The elevator stops on my floor, and I peek into the hallway. Empty. Thank goodness.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Emma whispers. I inhale deeply myself. I’m a bit turned on now, and as my libido is running amok while being mixed with the anger I still harbour towards Garrett, it’s not the best combination.
“Well, now you know,” I whisper.
“And this is why you want to remain in New York, Suzy? Because of Garrett?” she whispers.
“Yes. I want to…” I pause to gather my thoughts. “I’ve never felt so alive before, Em. It’s as if a whole new world has been revealed to me, and I’m not ready to turn my back on it. Not yet.”
“Even though he spoke to you like he did this morning?”
I don’t blame her sceptical tone. In fact, I’m heartened by the fierce protectiveness I know she holds for me, and I sniffle one last time before walking towards my home.
“I won’t let him do that again, I promise. Listen, Em, I’m home now, so I need to go.”
“Will Garrett be there?”
“God, I hope not,” I groan, and blow out a breath. “Probably not, though. He has a restaurant to run, after all.”
“I see.” We’re both quiet for a bit, and I can’t help but feel that Em is holding back on me again.
“What is it?” I ask her.
“It’s just that – I’m worried about you, about your heart getting broken.”
I shrug even though she can’t see me.
“If that’s the case, I have only myself to blame. I walked into this of my own free will, remember? Garrett told me his terms long before I accepted.”
“I know. Still…you have a soft heart, sweetie. But I’ll let it go for now. It’s your life; just know that I’m here whenever you need me.”
“Of course.” My throat has a lump in it, but I refuse to cry again.
I’ve shed enough tears as it is.
“In your next email, you’ll have to give me a few more details about how Garrett tied you up…” Emma’s giggle takes me by surprise and I snort.
“I will. Bye.”
“Goodbye, Suzy. Love you!”
“Love you, too.”
As I push End, I take a fortifying breath.
On the off chance that Garrett should be home, I need to have my wits about me. If he wants to keep our sexual relationship going, he’d better have a pretty good speech prepared for me. If not, then that’s that, I guess.
As I turn down the handle, the door is wrenched open, and I look into the eyes of Garrett.
The man I seem unable to let go.
The one I can’t refuse.
The one who makes me go weak at the knees when he looks at me the way he does now - hungry – for me.
“Thank fuck,” he growls and grabs my hand. His other hand tilts my head back, and his intense gaze meets my own. His hold is firm, but gentle, and his thumb circling the pulse in my throat makes my core hum with need for him.
“You’re alright?” he asks me, voice gruff.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry for the way I snapped at you, waif. That wasn’t fair…”
And there he is – the real Garrett. The mask slips a fraction, and he allows me to see inside his soul for once; pain is hidden there. And sorrow.
“You cut me,” I whisper and shake my head when he grimaces again. “No, you’ve got it all wrong, Garrett. I’m not talking about physically hurting me – I know you’d never do that without my consent. I’m talking about how you made me feel as if I matter nothing to you at all – as if I am worthless. I know it’s only sex between us, I do, but that doesn’t give you the right to make me feel like I’m worse than the dirt on your boots.”
“I’m…” His voice breaks and he closes his eyes briefly. “I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again, I swear.”
That’s all it takes to wash away the lingering anger and hurt in my heart.
“I forgive you,” I vow, and I know he can hear the sincerity in my voice. “But I still want to know who those men were, and I won’t back down on this, Garrett.”
He nods once. “I’ll tell you later, I promise.”
His eyes roam my face, taking in my every feature. While my breathing becomes heavier, I let him take his time.
“First, I’m going to make you come on my mouth, your wet cunt dripping down my face,” he states, voice hoarse but firm.
His words cause a shiver to run through my entire body, and my nipples harden.
“I love it when you tell me what you want to do to me,” I murmur, and lean into his body, wetting my lips.
“Hush,” he whispers. I nibble on my lower lip, eager to please him.
“Then,” he continues, “we’re going to eat lunch. Then I’ll fuck you senseless on the kitchen counter, coming so hard inside you that you’ll see stars. You good with that?” He looks expectantly at me, and I lick my lips.
“Yeah. I’m good with that…Sir.”
His nostrils flare and his pupils dilate, the brown in his eyes turning almost black.
“Good.”
He leans down and takes my lips in a surprisingly soft kiss, both hands covering my cheeks, and my eyes flutter closed in pleasure. I moan when his tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I open for him, becoming pliant in his embrace.
Then the sweetness is gone. He pushes his hips into my belly, allowing me to feel the hardness of his cock. Wetness gathers in my pussy when I feel how much he wants me. I tilt my head, surrendering to him, and his tongue traces the inside of m
y mouth completely, sending shock waves of pleasure down to my toes.
I feel alive – desirable – wanted in a way that is so foreign to me, yet my instincts tell me that they are real.
Garrett ends our kiss on a groan, and we stare into each other’s eyes as he takes his time to unbutton my coat. The need in his gaze is scorching, and I raise my chin, showing him that he may control my body, but I won’t keep my eyes downcast. I want him to see me – truly see me, and I hope I succeed. There is a certain freedom in giving up my control, but I’m starting to learn that while Garrett is my Dom, I am not without a certain amount of power of my own.
As he pushes my coat down my shoulders, his movements become more urgent. He wets his lips, eyes lingering on my heaving chest, and I ache to touch him.
“Can I touch you, Sir?” I wait for his permission.
He shakes his head, and disappointment fills me.
“I won’t last if you do. You set my body on fire, waif.” He palms my small breasts, and I lean my head back when he pinches my nipples through the fabric of my bra.
“Breath-taking…” Garrett’s hoarse whisper makes me smile in triumph. “You’re perfect. I need to taste you now.” His hands fall, and I want to protest losing his touch for even a short moment; but I know the game we’re playing. He’s the teacher, and I’m the pupil. I don’t call the shots here. He takes my hand and walks backwards towards the couch, and I follow him, eager to find out what he has planned. When he stops at the armrest, I glance at Rufus as he lies there, very comfortable, on Garrett’s makeshift bed, and a strong urge to giggle at the way the dog sighs, looking as if he wants to roll his eyes at us, overtakes me. Rufus jumps down and trots to my bed, laying down on a low whine.
“You’ve ruined my dog,” Garrett mutters, and I glance at him, feeling a bit embarrassed.
Sheepish, I apologise. “Sorry.”
Garrett shakes his head at me, lips twitching with amusement, but it fades slowly. He moves into my personal space and puts his hands on my hips, shuffling me backwards until we’re standing behind the couch. When my bum hits the headrest, he puts a foot between my legs.