by Karen Ferry
Sobbing, I try to force my body to obey me, to get up from the floor, but it’s as if I’m frozen in place – I can’t untangle my arms from around my knees but I open my eyes to make sure that I’m truly alone. My eyes land on the coffee table only a couple of feet away and I notice my my mobile lying there, and I finally find the strength to get up from the door.
As I try to make my trembling legs obey me, I stumble closer, tripping more than once. When I reach the table, I sob when I pick up my phone; my hands shake so hard that it takes me three tries to find Garrett’s number.
At last, I’m successful, hoping that his meeting is over, but my hope dies when it goes straight to voicemail.
“Garrett…” My voice breaks and I cry harder. “Please – please come home,” I whisper before I end the call.
I have no more strength in my body.
I slide down, falling into a heap on the floor, and the phone slips out of my hand.
Giving in to the shock, I lie there and cry and cry until fate takes pity on me, and I fall into a deep sleep.
I TURN ON MY phone when I leave the offices of Newton & Abbott.
Mama Rosa’s finances are good, but they could be better; and my lawyer, Harold Abbott, suggested that it might be time to hire a a firm to handle all the PR and rebrand my legacy. I still want the restaurant to be a place people bring their families when they’re looking for a nice time, but it needs to attract a younger audience as well.
When I turn on my phone and see a missed call from Suzy, also noting that I have a new voice message, I frown, a bit puzzled. She’s never done that before.
Smiling wide, I put the phone to my ear as I leave the elevator and walk outside into the brisk fall weather. My smile freezes when I hear her violent sobs in my ear. I stop, dread settling in my stomach.
“Garrett…” I can hardly make out my name through the sound of her tears. “Please – please come home.”
Frantic, I take off in a run, whistling for a cab that’s pulling over when I raise my arm. I open the door as soon as I reach it. Slamming it shut, I give him my address, and he looks wearily at me.
“Move, man!” I shout, not caring in the least that I probably look like a madman. “Drive!”
I find my wallet in the pocket of my coat and pull some bills out, not taking time to count them before I toss them to him.
He picks up a couple that have landed on the seat beside him and widens his eyes, clearly surprised by the amount. I grit my teeth and fist my hand resting on the seat.
If he doesn’t start driving within the next couple of seconds, I’m hijacking his car.
Without another word, he looks over his left shoulder. With screeching tires, he takes off into the late afternoon traffic and drives me home.
Home to Suzy.
I haven’t prayed in years but find myself doing it now.
I vow that if she’s been hurt in any way, I’ll find the fucker responsible and kill him with my bare hands.
“Hold on, waif,” I whisper, my voice hoarse. “I’m coming for you now.”
I wake up slowly when I find myself weightless and cradled to a very hard, very masculine chest. I take a deep breath, and when I smell Garrett’s familiar scent with a note of sweat in it, I snuggle closer, lifting my arms to place them around his neck.
“Suzy?” His concerned voice helps me overcome the last remnants of sleep, and I open my eyes when I feel him sitting down, still holding me close. I glance up as his hand rests on my cheek, his thumb tracing my lower lip, and I take in the frantic look in his eyes.
“Hey,” I croak before I clear my throat. He looks so pale, the furrows of his cheeks clearer from the lack of colour in his face. His hair is in disarray, loose from his ponytail, and he’s breathing hard, as if he’s been running for miles.
“Hey,” he whispers back, carefully scanning my face. “What happened, waif?”
I blink as the visit from Detective Easton tears through me, and then the shakes set in completely. Teeth clattering, I feel the tears begin to drop from my eyes, and I sniffle loudly.
“Please, Suzy, what happened?” Garrett begs as he gently kisses my nose, my cheeks, my eyelids, trying to soothe me. I wish I wasn’t so weak.
“You need to shave your beard,” I start. I continue to babble through my fit. “I can never see your smile properly. I want to see your face…”
“For fuck’s sake, Suzy,” he growls and furrows his brow. “I promise I’ll shave once you’ve told me what happened to reduce the strong woman I know into this.”
“You…you had a visit.” I breathe deeply, trying to get in control, still clinging to him.
“From who?” he asks me.
“From one of the detectives who came by the other day.”
His eyes widen before darkness settles in them.
“Which one?”
“Detective Ea-easton,” I stutter, the fear left by his visit returning to my body.
His name alone makes me gag.
“Breathe, baby. Go on,” he urges me. I nod, wiping my tearstained face on my arm.
“At first, he just asked me where you were and took a look around…”
His body tenses up further beneath my hands when I close my eyes.
“And then?” he asks me.
I’m unable to mask the revulsion when I whisper, “When he made to leave, I turned my back on him, and he pushed me into the door, and I hit my head.”
“He fucking did what?!” he roars.
I open my eyes and lean my head back to rest on his shoulder.
“He grabbed my hands, holding me, and he tried to…he tried to…” I hiccup as I hold back another round of tears, but I need to let it out.
No matter what it costs me.
“He pushed his body into mine, grabbed my breast – and if his phone hadn’t started ringing, you’d have come home to a whole lot worse.”
I finish on a whisper, and tears course down my cheeks, this time from the rage mingled with the humiliation I feel.
I’m not the only one trembling. A low rumble resounds from Garrett’s chest, and I take heart in the comfort of his rage.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Garrett seethes through gritted teeth, his voice so low, so ominous. I’ve never heard the sound before, and while a shiver runs through me from the menace of it, I don’t feel fear. The part of me that has room for light and warmth inside me revels in hearing it, in fact.
It means that he cares.
He cares for me.
“I forgot every single thing I’d learned in self-defence classes I took back home,” I go on. “I froze up, Garrett…I couldn’t move at all, I couldn’t think.” I shift on his lap and try to unclench my hands from the lapels of his coat as I get up in his face.
“I was so weak,” I whisper, “and I hate that I couldn’t fight back.”
His face draws nearer, and his intense eyes gaze into mine.
“You are the strongest woman I know, waif. Don’t you dare blame yourself for what that piece of filth did. Cops are meant to protect us, to keep their citizens safe. Their badge is one made of honor, one you’re meant to trust; when one of them uses the symbolism of their status for evil acts, just like he did, your trust is broken. Your trust is cut deeply.”
I nod slowly, enraptured by his speech.
“But I got such a creepy vibe when I saw him, Garrett,” I whisper. “I had a really bad feeling about him, but I ignored it. I let down my guard.”
He places his index finger over my lips, silencing me.
“I won’t hear you take this on you, Suzy. Some part of you had faith that he wouldn’t take advantage of his badge, so that part trusted him. But make no mistake here – there will be consequences.”
“There’s more,” I tell him, my voice stronger now. “He mentioned some Italian name before he left. Giancarlo?”
Garrett stiffens underneath me, and I bite my lip.
“He said that you should watch your back,” I
continue. “He demanded me to tell you that Giancarlo hasn’t forgotten.”
He closes his eyes, wincing, and the pain etched on his pale face causes me alarm.
“Who is he?” I ask him.
“Giancarlo Cresta is Cecilia’s father,” he mutters and then sighs deeply. “He’s a very influential man; built up his shipping business from scratch when he came to New York with his family some thirty-odd years ago.” He frowns. “But why Giancarlo would have anything to do with NYPD…?”
I wrinkle my nose.
“He’s not…err…the Mob, is he?” I ask.
For the first time since I opened my eyes and found Garrett home, he smiles at me.
“No, my love, he’s not.”
I sag with relief on his lap.
“Thank god. For a minute there, I thought my life was about to take a turn for the worse and that I’d suddenly find myself in a bad real-life episode of ‘Criminal Intent’ or something,” I mutter.
Silence. But then he laughs, and I look up at him when he tucks me closer.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me,” I scold; but I can’t keep a small smile from breaking free despite the severity of the situation.
His laughter fades, and he leans down to brush his lips across mine. Tingles shoot up my spine, and I no longer feel as cold as I did before.
“I only laughed because you looked adorably clueless, waif.”
I shrug.
Whatever.
“Well, you have to blame the Dane in me, Garrett. I haven’t the slightest idea what may or may not really go on in this city, remember? I’m just here on a short visit, after all.”
His eyes turn serious, and I look down, unable to hold them. Silence descends upon us, and I contemplate where we go from here.
We still have two months together, but will they be enough?
Not to me. Not anymore.
“Suzy, I don’t want you to worry about anything, alright?” He breaks the silence, and I nod.
“I know we were supposed to meet later at the restaurant, but do you mind if we do that tomorrow instead?”
I shake my head, slightly disappointed.
“Of course not, but why?”
“Because I’m going to call my father, have him meet us for an unofficial chat,” he continues.
I raise my head and frown at him.
“Why?” I repeat, feeling a bit stupid.
“Because he’s one of the best lawyers in this city, and I’m going to have him dig deeper into who Detective Easton really is.”
His face turns thunderous.
“Should I…” I stop and search for the right words. “Should I be worried? Start carrying around a pepper spray when I go out?”
He blinks slowly.
“You mean to tell me that you don’t already have one?”
I tilt my head back.
“Well, no,” I reply slowly, “why should I?”
He looks to the ceiling, and I narrow my eyes at him. When he lowers his head and turns a thoughtful look at me, I raise an eyebrow at him.
He relents when he notices the stubborn set to my chin.
“Never mind,” he mutters, leaning back on the couch, more relaxed. “I’ll ask dad to come by or we’ll head over to his offices. I have to pick up Rufus anyway.”
I sigh. “I miss him.”
He chuckles. “He’s been gone for less than twenty-four hours.”
“Even so…I bet he could’ve taken a big chunk out of that arsehole’s leg if he’d been here with me,” I grumble, shivering again. It’s going to take me a while before the thought of his name won’t repulse me like it does now.
Garrett freezes up beside me, and I almost regret bringing back the subject of the detective again.
“You’re right. That dog loves you so much that he’d have protected you with everything that he is. Probably as much as I l-” He stops abruptly and I hold my breath, trying to will him with my eyes to finish his sentence.
He looks away from me, losing our connection, and I curse inwardly.
Stupid, stubborn man.
“Aah…Can I get you something to eat? Maybe a drink?” he suddenly asks me.
His eyes are clouded, and I can no longer read him as well as I thought.
“No, thanks. I’m fine,” I reply.
“Good, good. I’ll go..err…call dad now,” he murmurs, avoiding my eyes. In a swift, yet gentle move, he lifts me from his lap and places me further down the couch.
I watch as he goes to hang up his coat. He straightens his hair and then takes out his mobile, and I close my eyes. Resting my head on the armrest, I try not to panic when the fact that I’ll be meeting Garrett’s dad hits me. My eyes spring open, and I look down at my wrinkly clothes before I shoot up from my seat and half walk, half run to the walk-in closet.
“Hang on,” Garrett murmurs behind me and then calls out to me. “Mom says that dad’s home from work already, so we’ll head home to their place and have dinner instead.”
Butterflies swarm in my stomach, and I almost trip into the closet.
Meeting the parents. Yikes!
“Think, Suzy, think,” I mutter as I go through my clothes, discarding everything before me. “What does one wear when she’s almost been assaulted but wants to make a good impression on her boyfriend’s parents?”
“Boyfriend?”
My hands still on a red top, and I close my eyes.
“Sorry,” I squeak. “Just thinking out loud, and I know we’re not together-together, but, you know, I’m a bit frazzled, and it might be best to introduce me as your girlfriend to your parents, so they don’t, you know, start asking awkward questions, and well, you really shouldn’t have crept on me like that, and…” I take a deep breath when I hear his steps behind me come closer. He stops, his front touching my back, and my heart picks up speed.
I sigh softly when I feel his lips on my neck, and my skin breaks out in goose bumps from his beard tickling me.
“I kind of like that title,” he whispers, causing mad butterflies to dance the fandango in my tummy.
“Wear something comfortable,” he continues briskly. “My parents are very easy-going people; you don’t have to feel like you have to impress them with your clothes.”
“Right,” I whisper. “Got it.”
“I’m just going to try getting Dad on his cell, give him the facts of what that fucker did to you, so he’s prepared for it. Don’t take too long. We’ll be heading out soon.”
With that, he leaves me alone, and I try to get my breathing under control once more.
I wish that the reason I’m meeting Garrett’s parents tonight was a whole lot more pleasant and normal – but I can’t. All I can do is try to make the most of it and get on with it.
Then, his response to my blabbering mouth strikes home, and I smile wide, overcome with the enormity of the meaning behind them.
This day might have started off like hell, but it’s ending on a high note.
I shake the hearts and flowers that are no doubt floating above my head away, and I continue obsessing over what to wear.
It doesn’t matter what he said. A woman should always make an effort when she’s meeting, for the very first time, a couple who clearly means a whole lot to the man she’s seeing.
Even more so when that couple is his parents.
AS WE SIT IN the cab that will take us to Garrett’s childhood home, I stare out the window, contemplating everything that’s happened the last couple of months.
“You’re very quiet,” Garrett murmurs from beside me. I look back at him when he takes my hand, intertwining our fingers.
“I’m just thinking.” I take in the way his thumb runs circles across my skin and give him a small smile.
“About?” he presses me, and I shift in my seat to face him better.
“Just what my life has been like while I’ve been in New York.” I wet my lips and take comfort in the way he looks at me, quietly waiting for me to explain.
“When I first arrived here, I was genuinely lost, Garrett,” I start and then lock eyes with him. “I didn’t know who I was, or what my future looked like, and I was so blinded by the row I had with my parents that I just wanted to escape. You know?”
He nods at me, and I inhale deeply.
“The fact that my sexuality caused such a rift between me and my parents – as well as me finding out about being adopted – has been playing a lot on my mind.”
“That’s to be expected,” he murmurs.
“I know. I mean, I’m sure that any parent is quite surprised when their child comes out, but the way my mother hurt me…” I shake my head, still sad when I think about it. “Well. That’s going to take me a long time to see past. But you know what?”
“What?” he asks me, a small smile playing on his lips.
“I don’t want to lose my parents. Yes, they were horrible for keeping such a huge secret from me; I had a right to know. But…I’m going to call my mother soon. I’m going to try to explain to her why my being bisexual – if she wants to put a label on me, that is – doesn’t change the fact that I’m still just me.”
I smile wider at him as I come to terms with who I am.
“My sexuality doesn’t define me; and in order to make her see that, I have to stop letting it hold that power over me. I’m still the same person in so many ways: I still love to shop, I still adore romance novels, I still want my own happy-ever-after, and I still think that kissing – kissing a lot – makes the world a better place.”
He waggles his eyebrows at me.
“I can’t argue with that last part,” He grins at me, and I beam at him.
“I just hope that I can make her see that I haven’t changed that much, and then I hope that she can accept that.”
He brings our hands to his lips and kisses the inside of my wrist. The sweetness takes my breath away.
“You have a very forgiving soul, Suzy.”
I shrug. “I don’t know if I’d call it that, Garrett. For all their flaws, they’re still my parents. They may not be the warmest people to walk this earth, but they’re my family.”