He had me there. I was silent, chewing the inside of my cheek to keep from agreeing on the spot. Marrying him, getting free healthcare, keeping the job I loved but being able to give up the one I was forced to do… it looked pretty good on paper.
There was just one problem.
“You told me your unit is going back to Afghanistan,” I reminded him sadly. “I can’t ask you to go back there just for Sam.”
“I’ve been there before. I know my way around,” Devin said, looking up at me from beneath his lashes and grinning that devilishly gorgeous smile of his.
“And if you get hurt? Or… worse? What do we do then?” I asked, reminding him of the danger.
Devin looked away, probably so he wouldn’t have to see the hurt look on my face when he answered: “Then you haven’t lost anything that you had before. You’d get my death benefits as my widow, Sam would have his transplant by then, and you’d move on.”
“You make it sound so easy,” I said, that sarcasm creeping back into my tone.
“Because it is that easy, Melanie. I really like you. I might even love you, but I didn’t want to scare either one of us by admitting that just yet. And just now, seeing Sam laying there trying to be strong and brave and just trying to live? I realized I would murder someone for that child. So at least let me do something good instead.”
I must not have looked convinced, because Devin took my other hand.
“Melanie, I have no one else in the world,” he said, sitting up so that he could lean closer and explain. “I have no parents, no brother or sister to look after, no one who needs me. If I had died over there in all the time I’d been deployed, my body would have been shipped back to the States in a plain box and buried somewhere of the Army’s choosing. There would be no one visiting my grave, no one to even sign the papers when the plane they flew me over in landed back on American soil.
“But that’s assuming the worst happens,” he continued, a little more hope in his voice now. “I’m alive… but there’s still no one. No one to benefit from my being in the service, no one to come home to at the end of the day. There’s no one writing me letters or waiting for me to call them when we pull up at an outpost with a phone system. There’s no one for me to tell when I rank up. Hell, there’s no one spending my money even. My pay goes into a bank account somewhere, while I’m eating in the mess hall and living in my quarters. I may not make a ton of money, but I don’t spend any of it, either.”
I sat quietly, my mind churning. He made it sound so simple. Marry him and protect Sam, be there for my son when he needs me, stop relying on my mom to care for my child more than I do… it was all very enticing.
“But what about… us? What if we just aren’t compatible people?” I said, trying to avoid talk of romance while my world was spinning.
“Then we hug it out and go our separate ways when Sam is out of the woods,” Devin said, looking way too nonchalant about it.
“Divorce, you mean?” I was horrified just at hearing the word.
“You make it sound like manslaughter,” he said, laughing. “I’ll let you in on a secret. This kind of thing is actually pretty common with Army people. A guy in my unit got married before we deployed just in case he died. Another one married so that he could get out of the barracks and into family housing. Another guy married his best friend from college because he was being stationed in Italy and she got to live there with him for a few years.”
“So, what, they all just played ‘friends with benefits’ with some random women they knew?” I asked. This was sounding worse and worse.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with friends with benefits, but think of it more like friends with health benefits, only they were dating first and just happened to rush things a little.”
“That’s true. But I still don’t love the thought of walking down the aisle knowing that either one of us could just keep on walking,” I said, feeling a flutter of panic at so casually talking about the D-word.
“Well, here’s to hoping we get our fairy tale then,” he said with a laugh, raising his hand and pretending to clink glasses. “I’m just saying that not having a fairy tale isn’t a deal breaker. The important thing is helping you and Sam. I happen to think that a marriage built on friendship, attraction, and low expectations might be way more successful than one where the bride and groom think it’s going to be a fairy tale.”
“But what if I want the fairy tale?” I asked sadly. “Or worse, what if we do this and then your Princess Charming comes along? What do we do then?”
“Then we work it out. But Melanie… What if you’re my Princess Charming?” he asked in a very serious voice, lifting my hand and kissing the back of it softly. “If we’d been dating for a long time or if you didn’t have Sam to think of, would you be this freaked out about me proposing?”
“No. It would be… normal. This isn’t normal,” I argued with a smile.
“I know. And fifty percent of normal ends in divorce. You already know what that pain was like, right?”
I nodded. I certainly did. And Devin was right, I’d already had the fairy tale love, the romantic proposal, the promises that turned out to be meaningless. The pain of having Mitch walk out on me wasn’t only because he turned out to be such a useless, spineless father—it was also because he rejected me, and I had no idea it was even coming.
At least this time I would know it was an option… for either one of us.
“So if I say yes, what happens then?” I asked, feeling only a little more sure about this.
“Then you become Mrs. Melanie Palmer. Or Mrs. Ward-Palmer?” he asked, misreading the expression on my face. “Ms. Ward, still?”
I laughed at the way he was struggling to make sense of that. It felt good to laugh, to know for just a few moments that everything might at least be easier, if not completely okay.
“I guess I should go call my boss and quit,” I said only seconds before Devin jumped to his feet and pulled me up into his arms, kissing me tenderly but with a deep longing that I craved.
“So we’re really doing this?” Devin clarified, leaning back to look me in the eye.
I nodded. “I guess we’re doing this. Let’s get married.”
***
Devin
Holy shit, I’m getting married. What have I done? I thought as I checked my running app and decided to go for another mile or two. It was literally my first thought that morning when I’d woken up—I’m getting married. I’m going to be a husband. I’m going to be a dad, in a way.
I’m going to stay in the Army.
That was part of my burning need to run this morning, the knowledge that I was re-enlisting. I’d been partly lying when I said I was certain this was the right thing to do. Honestly, I couldn’t know that for sure. But since I still didn’t know which choice I wanted to make, and since there was a little boy who needed medical care and a mom who was working herself to death to make sure he got it, it sure seemed like a sign.
I was getting married… to Melanie. She was going to be my wife, and thinking about it too hard made my heart race in a good way.
There were some procedures that had to be followed, of course. Melanie was handling things on the civilian side of getting married—things like marriage licenses and stuff—while I took charge of the Army side of things. Both she and Sam would be listed as my dependents, there were forms to file to make her my beneficiary, approval from my commander, that kind of thing.
Then there was Tucker’s advice.
“Way to go, man!” Tucker had shouted when I told him, jumping up from his seat at the table in the mess hall and clapping me on the shoulder hard. “Congratulations!”
“Wait, I thought you were against getting married and settling down. You just told me that like two weeks ago when we talked about Pitts,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but that was me. Marriage is perfect for you. You need someone to help you match your socks and stuff.” He grinned at the joke, but I knew he w
as sincere about being happy for me. “So how long have you two been dating?”
I choked on a sip of my drink and coughed for a long time, long enough that Tucker quit being worried and started looking at me like I was avoiding his question.
“I mean, you two had to have known each other for a while now, right? Like from before you deployed?” he continued, narrowing his eyes a little. I could tell he was mentally tabulating how long I’d been home on leave.
“Yeah, actually. She is someone I’ve known since I was in high school. Her dad was actually the principal when I finished,” I said, covering my tracks with the tiniest half-lie in the history of outright lying.
“Cool,” Tucker said, brightening somewhat. “So you two have been dating all this time? What took you so long to propose, dude?”
“Oh, um. No, we just started seeing each other kind of recently. We ran into each other after all this time, and just… you know, the time was finally right.” I got very interested in my lunch tray all of a sudden, hoping Tucker would let it drop.
“What, so you dated while you were in high school? Or you were just friends back then?” he continued, leaning closer like this was the most interesting news he’d ever heard.
“Not really, no.”
Tucker waited. “So she’s just some girl who happened to go to your high school, but you didn’t date her back then and you hardly know her?”
“Something like that, I guess. Can we let it go? I’m getting married, that’s great news, right?” I said, trying to shift the subject away from Melanie.
“I’m just trying to figure out who she is, that’s all. You said you went to high school together, but you said you really weren’t friends?”
I sighed, falling back in my chair. “I didn’t say we went to high school together. I said I knew her when I was in high school.”
“So like, she went to a different high school. Man, is this some Romeo and Juliet crap, like she went to the rival high school across town and you had to keep your love a secret?” Tucker teased before bursting out laughing at his own ridiculous tale.
“She wasn’t a student,” I said, clenching my jaw angrily to keep from saying something stupid.
Tucker stopped and looked at me for a few seconds. I could see his mind working.
“She was… what?” he asked, looking around before leaning closer.
“She was my teacher,” I said, crossing my arms defiantly, as if I dared him to make a joke.
Instead, Tucker sat there with his mouth open, his eyes boring straight into mine. I could tell he was trying to figure out if I was kidding or not, but I didn’t flinch. Finally, he let out a low, quiet whistle.
“A teacher. That’s… um. Yeah. But hey, it was a long time ago, right? You’re obviously a grown man now, you can do what you want,” Tucker said, even though he didn’t look too sure.
“It’s not what you think, she was just a substitute teacher. She was still in college herself, it was kind of an emergency thing,” I explained, shaking my head. Why did I even bother telling him all of this?
“A college girl, huh? Look at you!” Tucker teased. He held up his hands as if surrendering. “I’m only giving you a hard time, man. Seriously, I’m happy for you. But isn’t this all kind of sudden? Is it because I told you we’re deploying again soon?”
“That’s part of it. The rest is… complicated,” I said.
“Complicated? As in… she’s pregnant?”
“No! What is wrong with you?” I demanded, throwing a balled up napkin at him. “It’s just like I said. Complicated.”
“Okay, it’s no big deal. You don’t have to tell me anything. It’s not like I’m your oldest friend or anything—”
“Which you’re not,” I corrected him.
“—so if you don’t want to tell me the truth, I guess there’s nothing I can say,” he finished, pretending to look wounded.
“Good. Then there’s nothing more to say. See you at formation,” I said, standing up and picking up my tray.
I walked outside and headed down towards my commander’s office. I’d called ahead and made sure he’d be there, so I checked my watch and figured I had plenty of time to walk there.
When I walked in, he was waiting for me.
“So, you’re getting married,” he said, leaning back and putting his feet up on his desk casually, a wide grin on his face. “You know, this is usually the part where I give you a hard time and haze you pretty badly for joining the old married guys’ club. You know, pull a few pranks and make you go complete a dozen pointless errands. But I’m not gonna do that.”
“No?” I asked, confused.
“Nope. I’m happy for you. So I’ll let you in on a secret: since you’re still stateside, you don’t need permission. You just go get married, then fill out a few forms with the personnel office so your wife can use the commissary and the PX, that kind of stuff. She’ll need a dependent ID card and a DEERS document, but other than that, it’s not a big process. Have you decided where you’re getting married?”
“I honestly hadn’t gotten any farther than proposing yesterday,” I admitted sheepishly.
“Yesterday? Man, the ink isn’t even dry on that decision, is it?” he joked. “Still time to back out, you know.”
“No way. This is too important,” I answered a little quickly, then hoped he wouldn’t ask why. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care.
“Well, if you get married on base with the chaplain, there’s no fee. Just pointing that out in case you’re in a hurry. Otherwise, your leave is almost over, so you’re running out of time for a nice ceremony and honeymoon.”
“Then I’d best get started,” I said, standing up to leave
Chapter Four
Melanie
“So let me get this straight,” Angel said when she stopped by on her way to work. “Your knight in shining armor has finally decided to show up on that damn horse of his, and you’re gonna just leave me hanging? I’m gonna have to work in that slimy old place all by myself with no one but Jamie to keep me company?”
“Sorry,” I said, feeling genuinely bad about leaving her like this, “but he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
“Okay, Godfather, let’s hear about this offer. ‘Cause all I’m hearing is you went on two dates with the guy—both of which happen to have taken place in your backyard—and now you’re getting married.” Angel looked at me defiantly, as if she dared me to argue. “Wait, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
“Why does everybody ask me that?” I shrieked, getting frustrated all over again. “It’s all they wanted to talk about at the school—the teachers, thank god, not the students—like people don’t just get married anymore without being in a delicate way?”
“A delicate way?” Angel repeated, flinging her long black hair over her shoulder to look at me with a strange expression. “Nope, you’re not pregnant. If you still call it ‘a delicate way,’ you haven’t done it yet.”
“Angel,” I hissed in warning, looking over to where Sam was playing with Legos.
“Oops,” she said, covering her mouth and laughing quietly. “But hey, you can make it up to me by letting me plan the whole thing.”
“Plan what? We’re just going to the courthouse, maybe stopping afterward for some lunch somewhere, that kind of thing,” I protested, waving off the offer since I wasn’t trying to make a big deal of it.
“Oh no, you’re not,” she answered, a terrifying gleam in her eye. “I’m on it! Simple, low-key, but special… that’s the vibe I’m getting for your wedding.”
“My wedding doesn’t have a vibe, for starters,” I pointed out, but Angel was already making notes on her phone.
“It will when I’m done, honey!” she said with a certain characteristic amount of sass. “I hate to ask Jamie about handling the food since I figured he’s invited. But god, can you imagine what that man could do with a budget and a wedding menu?”
“Why don’t we just have it at the barbeque pla
ce where Devin and I had our first date?” I suggested, already realizing that talking Angel out of this would be futile. “And we can have the ceremony at my house, since that’s where he first surprised me with his romantic evening.”
“Fine,” Angel said, sounding mildly disappointed. “But you realize you’re letting me do your hair and makeup if I can’t plan venues.”
“Deal,” I said, grinning in spite of losing both the battle and the war.
“You know my mama is going to do flowers, right?” she asked, looking at me as if that was going to be okay. It was more than okay, of course.
“Angel, that would be an honor, I swear. Your mother’s flowers are gorgeous. I don’t know how she does it!”
“Okay, so we’ve got a place for a ceremony, flowers, something that sort of resembles food… that just leaves a dress.” Angel looked up from her phone for a moment. “Unless we’re planning a bachelorette party too?”
“Let’s not get carried away. If I had the money or the time off to do something like that, I wouldn’t even be getting married,” I blurted out without thinking.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Angel demanded, her voice hard-edged. “IS there something you’re not telling me?”
I thought about the best way to undo that damage without divulging too much, but this was Angel. She was no idiot, and if I tried to lie to her she’d see right through me. So I spilled the whole story of Devin’s proposal and our arrangement, waiting on pins and needles for her to get mad.
Instead, she started crying.
“That is a man who is madly in love,” Angel finally said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve and dabbing at her perfectly winged eyeliner.
“I don’t think we heard the same story,” I said, laughing a little at her assessment of things.
“Are you kidding? A man who would offer to marry you so you didn’t have to work so hard? Who’s going to make sure your little boy gets the care he needs? Who is willing to go off and fight in some desert just so you and Sam can be taken care of? Honey, that boy is in love.”
Accepted: A Military Romance (A Soldier's Sacrifice Book 4) Page 3