Ruby screamed when she saw him heading for Nick. She’d learned enough about horses since coming here to Blue Diamond Farms to know that stallions could be extremely dangerous.
“Flyby!” Nick shouted in an attempt to control the horse, but Flyby wasn’t listening. Snorting and tossing his head, the stallion pushed Nick into the tack room opposite his stall, pushed him so hard that Nick lost his balance and fell.
Willow screamed.
Ruby gasped.
Satisfied that he’d had his say, Flyby whinnied before he ran after Nealy.
“Son of a bitch!” Nick groaned as he struggled to pick himself up off the floor. “I think that damn horse broke my ribs.”
“Then you better see a doctor,” Ruby said, not unkindly. “The vet is due any minute. He can look you over and maybe strap up your chest.”
“Ruby . . .”
“No, Nick, I can’t intervene. Nealy told me the first time I met her that this farm, these horses, take precedence over everything. Maud and Jess instilled that creed in her, and she abides by it. Otherwise, it doesn’t work. She was always so proud of the way you and Emmie adapted to it. Your mother was right, there are telephones. If I were you, I’d do what she says until she cools down.”
Nick’s eyes almost popped from their sockets. “Are you saying I should leave here? This is my home. Where am I supposed to go?”
“It was your home,” Ruby said quietly.
“I . . . I . . . have a contract,” Willow whispered.
Ruby guffawed as she offered up a withering look. “I would imagine, knowing Nealy, that when you go up to the house, there will be a check waiting and your pots and pans will be on the porch. I don’t think this is a good time to try to negotiate. What were you thinking, Nick? You don’t get married and not tell your mother.”
“I guess I . . . Come on, Willow, let’s get your stuff and get out of here. Thanks for nothing, Ruby.”
“Just a damn minute, Nick. You’re the one at fault here, not me. Don’t take your anger out on me. Like everyone else on this farm, I covered for you and Emmie. In case you haven’t noticed, your mother and I both look like death warmed over, as does every other person working here. I haven’t had any sleep either. Your mother and I did what the four of us should have done because that’s what you do when a crisis arises. Look to yourself before you start blaming others.”
“Bullshit!” Nick snapped.
“Wrong animal,” Ruby snapped in return. She brought her hand up to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun invading the breezeway to see Nealy trying to soothe Flyby as he gently pushed her toward the back porch steps that would allow her the height to heft herself onto his back. Ruby could only imagine what she was saying to her prize stallion.
She continued to watch as a Dodge Durango, Emmie and Buddy’s 4-by-4, skidded to a stop in the courtyard next to the back porch. She continued to watch as Nick wrapped his arms around his middle and hobbled over to Emmie’s SUV, Willow close behind. And then all hell broke loose. Flyby reared up as Nealy grabbed his mane to secure her seat on his back. Ruby could hear angry sounds but couldn’t distinguish the words.
“I hope your excuse is a lot better than your brother’s, Emmie. You’re a week late. Misty Blue birthed early.” Nealy took a deep, sobering breath so she could say what she needed to say. “Make it good, girl, because you aren’t going to get up to bat again. I can’t believe how irresponsible the two of you are. I’m waiting, Emmie.”
“Buddy left me. He went back to Ohio. He left me stranded at the ship. Stranded, Mom.”
Nealy clenched her teeth. “I gave you a week because you and your brother convinced me it would be okay. One week, not two. There are telephones. If you think so little of this farm and me, so be it. We have rules here, and you and your brother know what they are. You both broke those rules. If your husband left you, it is something you have to deal with. I have a farm to run here.”
“Mom, didn’t you hear what I just said? Buddy left me. He said I’m normal, and he can’t handle it.”
Nealy clenched and unclenched her teeth again, “When did this happen, Emmie?”
“Last week. I didn’t know what to do.”
Nealy nodded. Any other time she would have opened her arms to her daughter and offered comfort. Maybe that was part of the problem. Maybe she’d been too available through the years, offered a little too much comfort. “Last week, and you’re just now getting around to coming here,” she forced herself to say, knowing where the question would lead, wishing there was another way. “Doesn’t your telephone work?”
“I . . . I spent the whole week crying. I didn’t see this coming, Mom.”
Nealy patted Flyby’s neck to calm him. “I’ll leave it up to your brother and his new wife to explain things to you,” she said. “Your services are no longer required, Emmie. That means you’re fired and off the payroll. If I can’t depend on you, what good are you to me? Now, you have something to cry about.” Her heels nudged the stallion gently as she headed back toward the foaling barn and Ruby.
“Mom . . .” Emmie wailed after her.
Nick put his arm around his sister’s shoulder. “Save your breath, Emmie, and go home. She just booted my ass out of here, too. We broke the cardinal rule. Now we have to stand up and take our punishment like the big boys and girls we’re supposed to be. Do you mind if Willow and I bunk with you until I can find someplace for us to live?”
Emmie nodded, her face miserable. “I have to get her to listen to me,” she said, starting after her mother.
Nick pulled her back. “Don’t even think about it. Jesus! She sure can work fast when she wants to,” he said, referring to Smitty standing on the back porch with two white envelopes in her hands. Within minutes Willow’s pots and pans appeared in cardboard cartons as if by magic, thanks to the efficiency of his mother’s longtime office manager. “I’ll drive, Emmie, but first I have to pack Willow’s stuff in the cargo hold.”
“What’s wrong with her, Smitty?” Emmie sobbed.
Nick stopped long enough to hear the office manager’s reply. “You both broke the rules. As far as I can see there is absolutely no excuse for your behavior. You’re old enough to know better. There are telephones. If I were you, I wouldn’t drag my feet,” Smitty said coldly, before she turned to enter the house.
“I don’t understand,” Willow said.
“With my mother there are no second chances when it comes to the horses. She gave us an inch and we took a yard. In plain English, we fucked up. She won’t bend either. Let’s get out of here. Stop bawling, Emmie. Life is going to go on whether Buddy left you or not.”
“But not without Mom. I’m not going until I talk to her.”
“It’s too late for talking. You should have called. I should have called. We didn’t. She bent enough to give us a week. The horses always have to come first.”
“Just like that, we’re walking away?” Emmie asked.
“Unless you want to crawl. It’s your call. Get in the truck, Emmie. We’ll talk when we get to your house.”
Emmie climbed into the truck and buckled her seat belt. She turned to look out the back window to see her mother and Ruby staring at the truck.
Nealy watched her children drive away, a lump in her throat. Did she do the right thing? Only time would tell, she thought. Time had a way of dealing with everything.
“Nealy, are you sure you didn’t overreact?” Ruby said, putting her arm around Nealy’s shoulders.
“To your way of thinking, I suppose I did. The farm runs as well as it does because of the rules. When Maud and Jess were alive, my ass would have been on the road in seconds if I had done what those two did. I accepted those rules going in, and I made damn sure I never broke them. Emmie and Nick learned that same rule from the minute they were able to walk and talk. I gave us all a week. I realize now I shouldn’t even have done that.”
“Is your heart breaking, Nealy?”
“No,” Nealy lied. “I�
��m going up for that shower now. I won’t be long.”
“What will they do?”
Nealy stopped and stared down at the ground. “I have no idea. Don’t ask me that again, Ruby.”
“Okay. Don’t forget the coffee when you come back.”
“I’ll remember.”
In the kitchen, Nealy headed to Smitty, who held out her arms. She stepped into them as the tears started to flow. “Don’t say it, okay, Smitty?”
“You did what you had to do, Nealy. Now you have to live with it. I know what you’re thinking and how hard it was for you to do. This isn’t like when you lit out with Emmie at the age of seventeen. There was no love back there. You moved from darkness to sunshine. Don’t start comparing. It’s over, it’s done with, and you don’t look back. If you look back, Nealy, it’s all over.”
“It hurts, Smitty. I feel like those two ripped my heart out. Nick got married. He got married, Smitty, and he didn’t even think enough of me to invite me to his wedding or to even call to tell me. I had no clue that he was even serious about Willow. Flirting is one thing, marrying her is something else entirely. And yes, I fired her. I had to. I sent my son packing, so how could I keep his wife around to cook for me? As for Emmie, we’ve always been so very close, and yet the one time when I could have consoled her, been with her, what does she do? She hangs me out to dry and stays home crying. I don’t understand that either. I don’t understand, Smitty, why she didn’t come to me this time. At Thanksgiving they were talking about having a baby, they went on this second honeymoon cruise, and then he dumps her and leaves her stranded when they got off the ship. What’s wrong with this picture, Smitty? Don’t answer that. I probably couldn’t handle it right now. I’d appreciate it if you would make some fresh coffee, and if you have time, call an agency and see about getting us a new cook. An all-around housekeeper might be better.”
In the shower, with the water beating down on her weary body, Nealy cried, her tears mingling with the water cascading all about her. She’d broken one of Jess’s rules, one of the rules he said it was okay to break from time to time: never let them see you sweat. She’d let Smitty and Ruby see her bruised heart, let them see her tears. Well, that was then and this is now. She stepped from the shower, towel dried her hair, dressed in clean clothes and was back in the kitchen just as the percolator made its last plopping sound. She filled a thermos for Ruby and one for herself. She was back in the barn in less than fifteen minutes.
“You okay, Nealy?” Ruby asked as she reached for her thermos.
“No. But I will be.” The door to Flyby’s stall lay at her feet. “He really did a number on that stall, didn’t he?”
“Yes, he did. He didn’t like your tone of voice, didn’t like what was going on. And they say these guys are stupid lumps. Not this guy. You should have seen what he did, Nealy. He burst out of his stall and pushed Nick into the tack room. It was almost funny the way he did it, like he was trying to make your point for you. Nick said he hurt him, but I think he just scared the hell out of him. I know it scared the hell out of me, and he wasn’t even after me. I put him in a new stall. He’s fine, so don’t worry.”
“I know you might find this hard to believe, but that horse understands everything that goes on where I’m concerned. His daddy, Stardancer, was the same way.” Nealy opened Misty Blue’s stall door and smiled when she saw that the colt was nursing. “So, what do you think of our little Shufly?” she asked, shifting mental gears.
“Nealy, he is so gorgeous, he takes my breath away. He’s just what Metaxas needs. I don’t know how I can ever thank you for him. And for allowing me to be a part of all this. In my life, I’ve never been happier. I’m sorry about the kids. Things will get better.”
Nealy waved her hand in dismissal. “Look, it’s your turn to hit the shower. Take all the time you need. If you can, try to get a couple of hours’ sleep. Be sure you take your medicine while you’re up at the house.” Nealy tried for a light tone, but she could hardly bear to think about Ruby’s cancer. “I’m okay, Ruby,” she went on. “Over the years, I’ve learned how to sleep with one eye open. I mean it, I’m okay. I have to see about getting this gate fixed before Himself decides to pitch another fit.”
“Okay, Nealy. Things will work out. I want to say just one thing before I go up to the house. I want you to listen to me, Nealy, and we will never talk about this again. It isn’t all that hard to say those two little words, I’m sorry. But, only if you are sorry in your heart. If you don’t mean the words, don’t say them. You are a mother. A mother is supposed to love and love and love. A mother will stand by her child even if he or she is an ax murderer. Never having been a mother, I can’t know what you are feeling. To have a child must be the most wonderful thing in the world. I don’t want to see you throw away the relationship you have with Nick and Emmie.”
“I didn’t throw it away, Ruby. They did. Maud and Jess used to say, for every action there is a reaction and you go on from there. Let’s not talk about this anymore.”
“You got it. See you later.”
“Yes, later,” Nealy said, leaning over the door of Misty Blue’s stall to watch the colt suckle from its mother.
She wished she could cry. When had she become so hard, and yes, bitter? Hunt always said she had a black heart, and it always bothered her. She didn’t have a black heart. Maybe it was hard and cold, but it wasn’t black. She dropped her head between her knees and willed herself to tears. Her eyes remained dry. Everything always came at a price. Now she was going to lose the two people she loved most in the whole world.
Nick was just a boy, and now he was married. She struggled to remember how much older than Nick Willow was, but she couldn’t remember. In the end, it didn’t matter. Her age isn’t going to change the fact that she married my son. And he didn’t think enough of me to call and share his news. Or wait to have a wedding here at the farm. It hurt that he thought so little of her not to want to share one of the happiest days of his life.
Hot tears pricked her eyelids. Was there another way to handle things? If there was, she didn’t know what it was. How could she? She knuckled her eyes. Maybe she should have been more caring, more gentle, more . . . something. The plain simple truth was, she didn’t know how to be that way. An inner voice demanded an answer. Then how can you be so caring and gentle with the horses and not your own flesh and blood? “I don’t know,” she wailed. “I don’t know.”
Nealy lifted her head and stared ahead of her. Her adopted mother Maud’s words rang in her ears loud and clear. “No matter what, the horses always have to come first.” Jess had echoed those same words. Even hateful Josh Coleman had said the same thing. She’d lived by those words all her life because she’d been so grateful to Maud and Jess for taking her and Emmie into their lives and giving her a good life and then adopting her. In death they had provided for her by leaving Blue Diamond Farms to her and Emmie. To this day she felt she had to prove herself worthy of their love and unselfishness by making Blue Diamond Farms the best horse farm in the state of Kentucky. She’d done that, too. But the price had come high.
She thought about Emmie and how much she loved her. Back then in the early days, everything was for Emmie. Everything. Emmie was hers, her flesh and blood, and it was up to her to provide for her. She’d done that the only way she knew how. By working from four in the morning till eight at night. To prove to Maud and Jess that she was as good as any man. And to thank them, and to pay for their keep.
And now this. The one time when Emmie really needed her mother, she’d gone it alone. “I would have found the right words to say to her. Maybe they wouldn’t have been pretty or flowery, but they would have come from my heart. My arms would have circled her. Together we could have cried. Like Nick, she didn’t want me. Didn’t trust me to do the right thing. I would have. I know I would have. You just didn’t give me the chance.”
Hot, scalding tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you both so much.” She cried into the fla
nnel sleeve of her shirt. “So very, very much.”
“Make yourself at home, Nick. You’ve been here often enough to know where everything is. You, too, Willow. Take any room you want on the second floor. Before you can say it, Nick, Buddy must have had someone come in and move all his things out while we were on the cruise. It doesn’t look like he ever lived here. I was so shocked, I just caved in. I wish you could have seen me. I was like a maniac going through everything for some little scrap of something that was left behind. There was nothing, not even an empty shaving-cream can. Not even a stray sock. I just don’t understand how he could do this to me.”
“Do you want me to go to Ohio and kill him?” Nick asked. He grimaced when Willow jerked her head sideways to indicate he should go upstairs while she talked to Emmie.
“He planned it very thoroughly,” Emmie said, flopping down on the couch. “He let me talk and plan for a baby, he arranged the cruise, said it would be like a second honeymoon and then wham bam, he dumps me on the gangplank when the ship docked. He said he doesn’t want anything. The house is mine, our joint bank account, everything. He just wanted out.”
“I’m so sorry, Emmie. I wish there was something I could do for you. I need to ask, why did you wait so long to go to the farm and tell your mother?”
“I was too ashamed, Willow. Do you know what I did? Right there on the gangplank with people watching us, I begged him, I held on to his arm and tried to hang on to him. He shook me off like he would shake off a stray dog. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I told him I would stop talking and go back to signing if he’d stay. He laughed in my face. I was too ashamed to tell that to my mother. I just holed up here and cried all week. I didn’t think about Mom, the farm, or the horses. All I thought about was Buddy. I turned on the computer and watched it until I thought my eyeballs would explode out of my head. I was so sure he would e-mail me and tell me . . . something . . . anything. Like maybe he was temporarily insane. Today, I finally realized it wasn’t going to happen. How could I have been so stupid? How, Willow?”
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