by JM Stewart
“I’m going to light a fire. Don’t. Move.” Despite his all-business tone, his finger traced the shell of her ear and down her cheek to the edge of her jaw. “If you run again, I will chase you, and when I catch you, I’ll throw you over my knees and redden your ass.”
His words had goose bumps popping up along her skin. A heated tremor ran the length of her spine. The idea of him reddening her bottom had a wave of heat zinging straight into her core, and her clit throbbed in eager anticipation of the pleasure that would surely follow. Oh, she loved a good spanking during sex. She was half tempted to run, if only to see if he’d make good on his threat. They had explosive passion together, and the sex that followed would no doubt blow her mind.
Not that she had any intention of giving in so easily.
She sat straighter and narrowed her eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”
He nipped at her bottom lip, hard enough to sting, then soothed the bite with a flick of his tongue before pulling back enough to meet her gaze. “Try me, baby.”
He rose to his feet, strode to the stone fireplace, and squatted. He set about stacking wood onto the metal grate and wadding bits of newspaper. Every inch of her trembled. In anticipation. In fear. Up until this weekend, Sebastian had never aimed that seductive prowess in her direction. He’d never looked at her with so much determined heat. He’d never spoken to her that way, either. He’d surprised her at the auction, and he did so again now. Shivers chased each other over the surface of her skin even as dread sank in the pit of her stomach. Every cell in her body sat poised, waiting for him to make his next move. How the hell was she supposed to keep her distance from him when he insisted on breaching every wall she had?
When the kindling finally flared to life, Sebastian added a piece of wood, sat back on his heels, elbow braced on his knees, and stared into the flames. After several moments, he sank onto his bottom on the pile of blankets laid out in front of the fire. When and how he’d gathered them, she had no idea, but he’d created a cozy little spot in front of the fireplace. A bunch of pillows and blankets all piled on the thick rug. He leaned back against the end of the recliner situated catty-corner to the fireplace, the flickering light dancing over his features, and crooked a finger at her.
God help her. She couldn’t say no. Her feet moved of their own accord, pulling her to him like mice after the pied piper.
“Sit.” He held out his hand in invitation, and the gleam in his eye dared her to deny him.
Unable to, she slipped her hand into his and did as he bade, positioning herself between his thighs. Sebastian settled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Only by sheer force of will did she manage to bite back the contented sigh that wanted to escape her. His embrace gave her the sensation of having come home.
For a few moments, only the fire’s crackles and pops disrupted the silence. The orange and yellow flames chased away the chill and illuminated the otherwise darkened room with a warm glow. It might have been beautiful had her stomach not been tied in a thousand knots.
“Want to tell me about him?”
His quiet voice rumbled against her back, his warm breath teasing her right ear. The question had her stiffening, anxiousness tightening her stomach. He knew something, or at least had figured something out. Right then, she felt naked and vulnerable, like all her secrets were laid bare before him. “Tell you about who?”
His arms tightened around her, drawing her farther back into him. “Whoever it was you were thinking of when you ran from the room. The asshat who doesn’t deserve the penance you’re giving him. Was it Alan?”
Alan. The self-serving jerk she’d dated before she met Craig. Sebastian had hated him. Then again, Sebastian hadn’t liked any of her boyfriends.
Christina released a heavy breath and relented. She’d promised him honesty, and because the lure to share her heart, however foolish, was too strong to deny. “No, Craig.”
He let out an irritated growl, his body stiffening behind her. “I always hated him. Arrogant son of a bitch. What’d he do?”
The urge to tell him, to lean her head back on his shoulder, rose strong within her. The protectiveness in his tone, in his body language, melted every last defense she had. As much as they butted heads, he’d always looked out for her. It was why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place.
“You never liked any of the guys I dated.” She closed her eyes. Her heart thudded a dull beat in her veins, the ache already blossoming. How she ever thought she could spend this time with him and not fall deeper in love with him she didn’t know.
“Because I was jealous, but most of them never deserved you. They never treated you right.” He leaned his chin on her shoulder, pressing his cheek to hers. “Tell me.”
His stubble pricked her skin. His scent enveloped her, mixing with the earthy smell of the wood smoke. The lull in his voice, his solid warmth, and his arms around her coaxed the words from her lips. With a sigh of surrender, she dropped her head back on his shoulder. “We went down to Vegas. Do you remember?”
“Mmm. You came back early. That was the weekend you broke up. What happened? He give in to the call of the strippers?” He leaned back, relaxing into the chair behind him, taking her with him. His hands settled in her lap, his thumbs stroking her bare belly in an idle fashion.
His touch made her body hum, but the conversation pulled up memories she wanted to forget. She laughed, harsh and bitter, as they played through her mind. “Of all things for you to ask, Baz.”
His body tensed against her back. His keen awareness of her right then sparked in the air. “He did, didn’t he?”
The irritated bite in his tone had her stomach twisting. She’d always assumed his overprotectiveness of her to be a big brother thing. After all, Caden had done the same from time to time, not so subtly letting a date know he was watching. Now, given Sebastian’s vulnerable confession upstairs, she wondered. Had she ever really seen him at all? Was their entire relationship based on misconceptions and half-truths? She loathed telling him the truth now.
She bit her lower lip. She’d never told anyone this, Caden included. She’d been too embarrassed to admit she’d fallen for such blatant lies. She’d followed her heart and let down her guard.
“Yes. We went down there to get married.” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. An embarrassed heat rose up her neck and into her cheeks. She’d been such a fool. “We were supposed to meet at one of the chapels, but when he got there, another woman threw herself into his arms. Turned out, she was waiting for him, too.”
Sebastian went eerily still. Tension filled the surrounding air, yet he remained silent. So silent his thoughts all but screamed at her. Her hands trembled. Dread and melancholy sank in her stomach and every cell in her body waited for his reaction, as if poised on a cliff, seconds away from being shoved over the edge.
Finally, she couldn’t stand it. “Baz, say something.”
“What do you want me to say? I’m thrilled? I need to get up.” Irritation rose in his voice. He didn’t wait for her response but released his hold on her and stood. He didn’t so much as blink in her direction before he stepped around her and stalked from the room, strides long and determined as he yanked the back door open and strode out onto the deck.
As she righted herself, hurt pinged around in her chest like a rubber bouncy ball in a small room. Gut instinct told her to leave the moment where it was. After all, distance between them was better than the closeness. His sudden anger, though, left her bereft and confused. She’d confided in him, and he responded like that? Damn it. She had to know why, and whether she liked the answer or not, he was going to tell her.
Despite her better judgment, she rose and followed, stopping in the doorway. “When I was angry with you earlier, you wouldn’t let me run and hide. You followed me and insisted I sit with you and tell you. If you’re pissed at me, you owe it to me to talk to me.”
“All right.” Sebastian whirled to face her. A wi
ld mixture of vulnerability, frustration, and raw pain shined in his eyes. “You want to know? I’ll tell you. How the hell could you want to marry him, but I get the door slammed in my face?”
The emotion in his eyes had her halting in her tracks, her bare feet gluing to the damp boards beneath her. She hadn’t expected him to say that. She’d expected…she didn’t even know, but not that. Clearly she’d hurt him. Her immediate denial when they’d arrived had apparently hit its intended target—to set him in his place. Suddenly, she wasn’t so proud of always being the strong one, because the pain in his eyes wrenched at her heart.
She stepped toward him, shook her head. “I was a different person back then, Sebastian. In a lot of ways, what Craig did changed the way I dealt with relationships. As for you? You were never an option. You were always just the unobtainable fantasy.”
He stared for a beat before turning to the railing and stood looking out toward the waters of the lake. “Mmm. And I’m entirely too aware that I’m exactly like him, because it’s what I’ve always shown you.”
His voice came as quiet as the night, barely a murmur above the cool breeze blowing around them. After a moment, he finally looked back. He stared again, eyes reaching and searching. Apparently having made whatever decision he’d been pondering, he closed the distance between them, caught her around the waist, and pulled her against him.
“You said you wanted honesty, but I’m not sure you’re ready to hear it. I was lying in bed holding you tonight, staring at the ceiling, realizing you fit. In my arms. In my life. I realized you always have. Nobody has ever taken care of me the way you do. At least, nobody who wasn’t paid to do it. My mother left me when I was ten, dumped me like yesterday’s trash. My father treated me like I was his greatest disappointment. But you?”
He shook his head and lifted a finger, stroking the side of her face. An odd mixture of emotion played in his eyes. Awe. Confusion. The tenderness staring back at her stole the breath from her lungs. More sides of Sebastian he’d never shown her until recently, and she became caught, hooked on his tender words.
“Even when I’m an asshole, you still come to me on my worst day and hold me while I sleep. I’m terrified of losing you, Tina. You want to know why I always pushed you away? That’s it.”
He turned his head, buried his face in her throat, and skimmed his mouth up her neck and across her jaw. Everywhere he kissed had shivers chasing each other over the surface of her skin. Her breathing hitched. Her bones melted, muscles loosening, sagging into the warmth of his body, into his tender touch. Because he did have one.
God, she’d never expected Sebastian to be such a tender lover. He didn’t fuck her to sate a need. He made love to her. Oh, she’d been with enough men over the years to know the difference. Sebastian stroked her body, took pleasure in her pleasure. Even when sex was fast and hard, because too many years of denial had broken down the dam, he still held her a little too tightly; his gaze still penetrated hers. Like he could see right into her soul and gave his own in return.
Now his heart-filled words, the vulnerability in his voice…How did she fight that?
“But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t pretend you mean nothing to me. I can’t make love to you all weekend and then let you go. I can’t go back to seeing you date those assholes or watch another loser like Craig break your heart and pretend I don’t want to rip his fucking head off.” His body tensed, his voice taking on an irritated edge, but as quickly as the anger came, he drew a breath and released it. “I can’t have another meaningless fling and pretend it’s what I want, either.”
“Isn’t it?” She closed her eyes, trying to regain her equilibrium. It wasn’t fair for him to tell her these things. She knew him. At some point, he’d get scared and he’d run. They all did. “Jean was in love with you, you know. She confided in me once, after you broke up.”
She’d wanted to hate Jean for getting what she’d coveted, but she couldn’t. Several weeks after their relationship ended, she’d run across Jean and could only feel sorry for her. Christina knew only too well what it meant to love Sebastian.
His shoulders slumped. “I know. She told me. I hated myself for having to let her down, but I had to be honest with her. I was honest with her from the start. She knew going in I wouldn’t. I never lied to her or promised her more. At the time, getting married meant a death sentence for me. Damned if I’d become my father.
“Now, after having made love to you, the thought of going back to the way we were makes my gut ache. I’ll never be able to go back to those meaningless flings. This time with you has changed me.” His voice lowered to a vulnerable murmur. He pressed his cheek to hers, his breath warm in her ear. “I’m safe with you. That’s what you do for me, Tina. For the first time in my life, I’m safe with someone.”
He straightened, then took a step back, swept her off her feet, and strode into the house. She opened her mouth to protest, but he shook his head, silencing the words before they could leave her tongue.
“I’m done talking. You want to know how I feel about you? I’m going to spend the next two days showing you.”
He carried her back into the house and set her down on the pile of pillows and blankets he’d set out on the rug earlier. He crawled between her thighs, forcing her to lie back, and settled his body over hers.
Holding himself on his elbows, he bent his head, his voice a husky murmur as his soft lips caressed the skin of her throat. His teeth scraped the curve of her jaw. His tongue flicked out to taste her, singeing the all too sensitive skin behind her earlobe. “If you can walk Sunday, you’re free to run, but this weekend, baby, you’re mine.”
He didn’t give her time to speak or to think, let alone protest. His hands roamed her body, stroking and caressing with the lightest of touches. So gently, he lit every inch of her on fire. All the while his mouth was everywhere and his hips rocked gently against hers, nudging the tip of his erection, still hidden behind his zipper, against her sweet spot.
Sebastian, apparently, had every intention of proving he owned her. In minutes, he had her a trembling mess. Every inch of her had come alive with a desperate, unslakable desire. For him. Only for him. No man’s touch had ever been so good or so right, and any thought of leaving fled, lost in him.
Holding himself on one elbow, Sebastian reached between them, undid his fly, and pushed into her in one powerful thrust. She didn’t have to ask to know he was staking his claim, and her body vibrated with the power of it.
Christina gasped, the bliss engulfing her. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him to her. She could deny it all she wanted, but she needed him. She needed this.
Because she loved him.
Oh, she’d thought she’d loved him before, but it felt like child’s play, a schoolgirl’s crush, compared to this. Nothing had prepared her for finding a connection between them.
God help her. When Sunday morning came, she had a tough decision to make. Would he ever really be able to give her all of himself? He hadn’t been able to for Jean. Jean had spent three years of her life with him. Deep down, Sebastian was a good man, and Jean had waited, hoping. But in the end, he’d let her go, because she wanted more than he could give her. Her pain that day in the coffee shop had been palpable, the look on her face forever etched in Christina’s mind.
What if, three years from now, that was her? Was she really ready to do it again? To pin her hopes on something that may end exactly the same way it had ended for poor Jean?
She didn’t know. She’d promised him the weekend, though. If she expected him to keep his end of the bargain, she had to give him the same. This weekend, she’d allow his sweet words to fill her with hope. She’d decide when the weekend was over.
Chapter Nine
Christina set her pen on the kitchen counter and lifted her gaze, peering out the French doors across the room. It was early Sunday morning. The sun had begun to rise above the horizon, streaking the sky outside with oranges and yellows. The pee
k of blue and distinct lack of gray in the skyline held the promise of a gorgeous day, though weather reports had told her it wouldn’t stay that way.
She folded the letter neatly, picked up her heels from the floor, hooked them with her left hand, and moved into the living room. The fire they’d built the night before had long since burned itself out. Sebastian lay sound asleep on the makeshift bed he’d built Friday night, covered from the waist down by a handmade quilt. One hand lay on his bare chest, the other flung over his eyes. His chest rose and fell at a steady pace. He looked peaceful and oddly beautiful.
Melancholy clenched at her chest. She’d spent the weekend making love to him. In between, they’d spent hours talking. They’d taken long walks around the lake and had a picnic in her father’s boat out in the middle of the cool water. For the last two days, she’d allowed herself to get lost in him, in the promise in his eyes. Because she’d promised him she would. And because she needed to know for herself.
Outside, the popping of rocks beneath tires drifted through the silence. Her cell buzzed in her hand a few seconds later, and a quick glance confirmed her limo had arrived. Her gaze returned to Sebastian. The idea of leaving him this way had a cold ache forming in her chest. He’d wake alone. It would be the second time she’d snuck out while he slept. Oh, for sure he’d be angry when he woke, but this was an argument she couldn’t have with him. At least not now. Her emotions were all on the surface this morning. Waking to him, after having spent the last two nights making love to him, had left her emotions a giant tangled web in her chest.
He was right. He fit. Like Cinderella’s lost glass slipper. Or a worn favorite pair of jeans. No matter how many times you washed them or how many holes they got, they still had the perfect fit and they still felt like home. She didn’t think it possible to love him more than she already did, but he’d proved her wrong. She hadn’t counted on there being a connection between them.