I was put down on my feet and pushed into a locker, “LUCY!”
My shoulders sagged, I knew that voice. It’s like I was breaking out of a trance as Landon’s face came into focus. He shook my shoulders a little and said, “what the fuck just happened in there? You lost it Lucy. What happened?” he asked.
I didn’t know. It was like I was back in that room. I only remembered that one detail. Nick and Mel came running up to us. I looked up at Nick and said, “I remembered something.”
His eyebrows shot up. “What did you remember?” he asked.
I sighed, “I was trying to ignore her the whole time you know? I didn’t want to get into it. Then she joked about me getting raped and that set me off. I was thinking about it when I stood up how it was fucked up to bring it up. After I hit her she grabbed my hair and tried to knock me down. When we hit the floor I had a memory of me trying to run away but someone grabbed my hair and threw me on the floor. Then they kicked me in my stomach hard. And then I was stuck in that fear and somehow in my mind I was fighting the person that hurt me.” I said with a shrug.
Mel looked horrified, and Nick looked completely pissed. His jaw was ticking and he looked ready to explode. Landon was watching me with severe narrowed eyes and his body was totally tense. That’s when I realized Landon was still touching me. I swatted his hands away.
“Don’t touch me. You don’t get to fucking touch me. Aren’t you in the wrong place right now? Your girlfriend probably needs you right now. You don’t get to do this you don’t get to be here right now.”
He scowled and his head went back like I just slapped him. “This is your fault. You were fucking cheating on me before any of this even happened. The fucked up part about this is that when I found out I felt like I already knew. I’m going to call someone to come get me. I can’t stay here.”
I started going through my stuff looking for my phone and couldn’t find it. That’s when I realized I haven’t had my phone at all the last two weeks. I frowned, “I don’t have my phone. I don’t remember the last time I did.” I said.
I thought about it hard. Nick looked and said, “I’m sure you had it that night. You said you were going to let us know if you were going to make the party after you left the one with James.”
I thought about it and I remembered the party, all of the huge guys and famous important people. I remember James driving me home after the party and asking me what was wrong. I frowned and tried to remember. I had told him nothing was wrong but there was. It had something to do with my phone I’m sure of it. But I couldn’t remember what it was. Had one of them called me for help?
“Lucy? What is it?” Nick asked.
“My phone. The answer is in my phone, but I don’t know what happened to it.” I told him.
He nodded and seemed to come to a decision. Landon watched me unsure, but I didn’t care. I started to walk away and he grabbed my wrist, “Lucy can you just talk to me? Please?” he asked.
I scoffed. “NOW you want to fucking talk? I was trying to do that for two days and what did you do? Tell me I was being a pain in your ass and to leave you alone. You weren’t going to tell me what the problem was. When the problem was what you were trying to hide. Then, after a fight you go shack up with your favorite piece. Well now Idon’t want to fucking talk. The time for talking is done, gone. We, us, this, is just as fucking done. All this time I was feeling guilty that you didn’t want me because of everything that happened that night and what I lost. And you were fucking being a cheating bastard before it even happened. You know why I moved out? It’s because I can’t stand to be in the same fucking house as you let alone room. The shit you said and did to me… it fucking hurt, a lot. And I don’t know how the hell you could even begin to make everything you did right.” I told him and turned and left. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, I didn’t care. I meant everything I told him.
I was walking down the hall with Nick and Mel so that I could call James, when the principal turned the corner and called us into her office. We went and took seats.
“So, care to tell me what happened in the cafeteria Lucy?” she asked me.
I sighed, “she came over to our table and was starting trouble. Then she made jokes about me getting the shit beat out of me and raped. I sort of snapped and then something she did triggered a memory from that night, and I kind of got lost in it. I beat her ass like she was the one who did it to me. I couldn’t stop it, I was stuck in my mind and to be honest I was scared as shit.” I told her bluntly.
Her eyes were wide. She cleared her throat and seemed to think about the situation. She sighed, “I’m aware of the things that happened to you guys that night. And considering she basically instigated the whole thing, I won’t put you through punishment for this. I will let you call your parents to get picked up early today. However I will give you all a warning. I know what you went through was traumatic and knowing that whoever is responsible is most likely walking the same halls, everyone was not involved. So I cannot allow you free reign on the student body because of the incident. So try to get a hold on your emotions.” She told us then dismissed us.
I called Samantha and she came to pick me up right away. Nick practically mauled her when she came into the building. The principal looked on with wide eyes.
Samantha explained, “I am married to Lucy’s dad. Lucy’s mom was going to marry Landon’s father… but that fell through but she still lives with them. Currently she’s staying at our place after the incident and Nick is infatuated with her best friend so he practically moved into our place so he doesn’t miss Mel’s visits. He also has a kiddie crush on me which we all know about. I think that about sums it up.” She told the principal, and the poor woman just looked plain confused.
“This is not a kiddie crush Sexy Sam. This is love at first sight woman. When you tell our story make sure you tell it right.” Nick said correcting Samantha.
She rolled her eyes, “I guess I’m taking them all. Go on get your stuff I have to start dinner.” She shooed us off to talk to the principal some more. Probably so she doesn’t call child services or something.
We went home and I spent my time trying to bring back the memories. It was so frustrating and after a few hours I wanted to cry. I felt totally useless. I either needed my phone or I needed to get the info from it. That night while Nick was busy harassing Sam and James, me and Mel holed up in my room and googled ways to get the contents from my phone. We were at it for over an hour and hadn’t found an answer that worked when there was a knock on the bedroom door.
“Yea?” I called out.
The door opened and Landon stepped inside. I sighed. Mel looked at me and I saw the question in her eyes. Is it ok if she gives him some time? I nodded and she left the room closing the door softly behind her. I closed the laptop and turned my body on the bed so I was facing him.
“Lucy, we really need to talk.” Landon said.
I sighed, “I told you I don’t want to talk anymore.”
“Babe, seriously I am not cheating on you. It may seem like it but I swear I’m not.” He explained.
“So fucking someone else isn’t cheating?” I asked.
“It’s not like that.”
“Yea, it is. You willingly put your dick in someone else. You fucking cheated you bastard.” I argued.
His eyes narrowed, “if just simply having sex with someone else is cheating then so the fuck did you.”
My head reared back and tears popped out of my eyes. That had to be the worst thing he’s ever said to me. “Fuck you.” I whispered.
He advanced on me and I backed away. He climbed on the bed and I moved back. He softly pushed my shoulder urging me back and said, “Tell me you love me.” I immediately had the urge to spit in his face but my jaw hurt too bad. That didn’t make sense. My jaw was way better now. I closed my eyes and an image of someone hovering over me saying those same words flooded my mind. I remembered the anger and hatred that flowed through me and the incred
ible pain in my jaw. I heard it play back in my head and my stomach clenched. But it wasn’t the same voice it was different and I knew it. It wasn’t registering in me. I thought hard and tried to bring the memory back fully. I knew this happened that night but I couldn’t bring in the face. I growled.
“Lucy?” I heard Landon say. I popped up and my head hit his. He grunted and fell to his side while I rubbed my head.
“I had another memory. That happened that night.” I told him.
“Who was it?” he asked.
I sighed, “I don’t know. It’s like I only could feel what I went through that night but the face and voice I can’t place.” I told him.
“What did you remember?” he asked.
“What you just did. Someone hovering over me telling me to tell them I love them. I had massive pain between my legs so it must’ve already happened, and it hurt like fuck but I spit in their face then blacked out. I think what knocked me unconscious was retaliation to me doing that. I could feel the blow to my face and it hurt, a lot and then my memory goes totally black.” I explained.
“FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!” Landon screamed. I jumped and the door flew open. Nick and Mel were there with Samantha and James behind them.
“It’s ok. But Mel and Nick can you stay?” I asked.
James looked weary and didn’t budge, “James, its fine. It’s kind of my fault I told him something that made him this angry. He’s not screaming at me.” I reassured him.
He looked skeptical but took it. The one thing that James told me he learned about me is that I’m honest to the bone. I’ve been lied to more times than I could count growing up. No one deserves that type of shit. He closed the door for us and walked away.
“What the hell happened?” Nick asked.
I filled them in on the memory and Nick looked like he wanted to commit murder. Mel was pale and looked afraid. “Look. I know I have the answer and it seems today, anything that resembled anything that happened that night brings on a memory. But it’s like they’re stuck from what I felt and nothing more. I can’t get a picture of what I saw or smells or anything. It sucks but it’s coming back.” I confessed.
Nick seemed to be thinking about something and nodded again. I was getting confused by this. He kept doing things like that but he hasn’t said anything about it. I wanted to know what was going on in his mind. I knew now wasn’t the time to question it. I sighed and turned to Landon, “you need to go. Unlike you, I’m considerate enough to keep you in the loop but there isn’t an us anymore. Not now and not ever again.” I told him.
He put his face in his hands for a minute and then met my eyes. His eyes were wet with unshed tears, “Lucy please? I love you angel. I fucking love you. You can’t leave me… not over this. You belong in my life baby. You left me! I sleep in your room every night just so I can smell you. I miss you. I need you. Please. Just let me finish this, and promise that you won’t throw me away.” He pleaded.
I turned away and whispered, “It’s too late. You already threw it all away. You can do whatever you want now Landon. You are free from me.”
Landon got up to leave and gave me one last forlorn look before he left.
CHAPTER 13
It’s been three weeks since my last memory and it’s been driving me crazy. I wanted to remember. I was in the locker room after PE and was the last one. I’ve been skeptical about letting any of the other girls see me. I’ve basically healed but I still have a little discoloration, but I don’t like the extra attention. Girls looking for marks or anything from that night on my body. This is my last class of the day so I could take my time. When I exited the locker room I literally ran into Dan.
He grabbed me to prevent me from falling. “Whoa, there. Steady Lucy.” He said on a chuckle.
I let out a laugh, “sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. How are you Dan?” I asked.
“I’m good.” His expression turned worried, “but how are you. I know it’s messed up but I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t feel comfortable broaching the subject. And then I saw Landon is back with Delilah now after everything you been through. I’m so sorry Lucy.” He said.
I smiled, “no worries. I can take care of myself. I’m getting over it you know?” ok so I lied. It’s not totally the truth but although I know Dan is harmless I’ve made a vow to not let anyone at school know that I was still trying to find out. I still had no idea of what the hell actually happened that night. The school was still on pins and needles, but people seemed to be beginning to relax. They all know we still had no information and I had no recollection.
“Take your time Lucy. You have friends and family here. And besides you still have me.” He said with a smile. I felt a twisting in my gut that I didn’t understand but I smiled and nodded. He walked me outside to my car, you know as a safety precaution and I drove home.
Samantha made ribs that night and Landon, Max, and Dean were over. I went up to my room and crashed as soon as I was done eating. I couldn’t stand to be around Landon. I fell into a deep sleep. In my dream James was introducing me to someone and my phone pinged with a text message. Then I was in a dress in a car with James. I was looking at my phone and saw a picture of Landon and Delilah kissing. I got pissed and rushed off to the party. I got there and found Molly. She pointed to the stairs and told me that’s where I could find them. I went up the stairs, and after walking into a few rooms I found them. Delilah sucking his dick. I screamed and yelled and then left and ran into Dan. He took me to a room and comforted me. Then things got serious and I tried to escape and he started to beat me. He tore off my clothes and raped me. I spit at him and everything went black.
“LANDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” I screamed out into the darkness.
“LANDONNN HELPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEEE” I screamed again. I knew he was right down the hall, he wouldn’t leave me hanging if I were calling for help right? My entire body was so hurt.
I began crying hard, “LANDONNN PLEASSEEEE HELP ME. IM HURT. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME. HE HURTTTTTTTTT ME. LANDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” I kept screaming. I was stuck in this darkness alone and hurting, I couldn’t move. I needed someone to find me.
I started to whimper. “Please come save me. Please?” now I was begging and sobbing but I was stuck in the nightmare. I felt the pain slice through my stomach and wanted to vomit. I didn’t even want to question what the wetness between my legs was.
“I’m wet between my legs; I don’t know what’s wrong… the baby Landon. Help the baby. My body hurts so bad. I need help. Oh my god, please someone find me and help us.” I pleaded.
I felt weight on my arms and I began to fight, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not again please. I love you I swear I love you just please don’t hurt me anymore. I can’t take it. My stomach and ribs and jaw hurt so badly. You hit me so hard so many times. Please. Just leave me here. You already took everything from me. Please stop. Please?” I begged. I didn’t want any more pain. I was already in so much. I felt pressure apply on my arms and his legs wrap around the outside of mine. I began thrashing, “no, no, no, no, no. I’m sorry I love you and didn’t mean to spit at you. Please just let me go. My body can’t take anymore. If you love me please just let me go, please don’t hit me anymore.” When he didn’t move I began fighting again. He wasn’t going to do this to me again. I was hurting all over but I didn’t feel it as I moved. I had strength to fight so I gave it my all until my arms were grabbed and pinned down.
“LUCY STOP! IT’S ME, LANDON. LUCY STOP!” I kept fighting because Dan was still holding me down. And then he put more weight down on me to stop me. His shirt fell into my face and I smelled it, it was Landon.
I stopped immediately and began to sob. “Landon?” I whispered.
“Yes Lucy. You were calling for me. I’m afraid right now, what the fuck happened?” he asked. “Open your eyes.” He said softly and I did.
Through my crying all I could get out was, “I remembered in my dream. I needed you to come help me. I know that night I went uncon
scious but in my dream I didn’t. And I fucking needed you!” I told him.
“I’m here now Lucy. I’m freaking the fuck out and I’m positively scared of you telling me what happened that night now. You were freaking out for like the last ten minutes.” He told me.
I was crying too hard to talk and knocked him over. I climbed on top of him and wrapped myself around him. I cried into his chest soaking his shirt until I fell asleep. He kept his arms around me tight making me feel safe.
When I woke up, it was dark outside. I looked over at the clock and it was 2:00. I was still on top of Landon, and he was asleep. Nick had found himself in here and was asleep across the foot of the bed. My eyes were burning and felt puffy from all the crying. My nose was stuffy, and my throat was dry and sore. I wiped my face on the front of Landon’s shirt and I felt his chuckle.
“Eww Lucy. You just wiped your snot on me?” he asked.
I looked up to meet his eyes and gave him a shy smile. “No?” I said more as a question.
He shook his head. “You need anything?”
Losing Her (The Lexington Series Book 1) Page 37