One technique that he used as a filter was the colour of the event. Raghav knew that human pupils are different and everyone perceives the same event differently. Any hint that the perception of the event was not accurate and had flaws as per Raghav’s standard would give Raghav justification that the event was accurate and not his imagination. He tried to write down and then build his own imagination again capturing his perception.
Through this tedious process of self discipline Raghav developed his own memory but there would be times when he would tremble in pain and despair each time any bad event comes up. The whole task was very difficult and impossible for any ordinary person but Raghav endured it. It was extremely difficult as the memories were spread in various space dimensions in his unconscious mind and he had to put time into this. The imaginary events that he had reconstructed after reading the newspapers helped him in creating the time and in converting the information in the space dimension into events in time domain.
The more Raghav tried to learn the more complex the condition of his mind became. Almost all the time he found that his imagination and the real information were contradicting each other. His imagination had created a timeline of events, only he could substitute the frames from deep inside his memory erasing the past but he could not comprehend the fact that newspaper articles had misled him to such an extent.
It seemed the press under government pay, was asked to look the other way each time they reported an incident. Most of the press reports were either propaganda of the government or it focused on trivial issues ignoring the bigger picture. For weeks he concentrated in choosing between the right and the wrong events till he had completely reworked the chart. During this exercise he did not communicate with even Kutty. At night he moaned with pain as he relived the nightmares of death and destruction.
Sometimes he walked alone in the forests without fearing the wild animals hoping that the extra exertion would help him to go back to sleep. But before he could complete the whole exercise, he stumbled on something that he was looking for - the facts about his wife and the circumstances that led to her death.
7.3: The Truth about Raghav’s Wife:
While in meditative state Raghav kept aloof from most of his fellow comrades. One of the things that he always wanted to know was what happened to his wife. Raghav knew that the description of his wife’s death that was presented to him did not make complete sense. The body of his friend Dr Padmanaman, who was thought to be with her during her last days was still attached to the machine, and there was a distinct chance that his wife might also be alive somewhere in India.
He knew that the answers lay deep in his subconscious but he was scared. On one side he did not want to know more about it but on the other part there was pressure building up within him to delve deep into the issue. For many days he ignored the problem but the more he tried to do so the more the pressure mounted. After about two weeks of trying to ignore and concentrate on other issues on the chart, Raghav woke up from a nightmare crying out loud. He saw what he didn’t want to see.
The image flashed in front of his eyes of a soldier putting his boots over his wife face while she was still writhing in pain. The soldier thrust his gun into her chest shouting curses at her for being the wife of a traitor. Next he placed the barrel of his gun inside her mouth and after shouting few more curses pulled the trigger. That night as Raghav banged his head against the walls of the cave in despair his crying could be heard miles away. He kept cursing the government and the fundamentalists for following fascistic policies.
For the following two days Raghav was inconsolable and even refused to eat. Kutty stayed with him in the tent trying to pacify him but Raghav lay in the corner of the cave alternating between hysterical shouts and deadly silence. After two days, Kutty insisted that Raghav should return to the camp but Raghav adamant that he would finish the exercises that he had started.
Raghav said,
“Whatever happened cannot be changed but at least I can put in an effort to give her and other friends some justice.”
Raghav asked Kutty to stock up supplies for the one week. He said, “I don’t want anyone to come near my cave for the next week. I will plan my own revenge.”
Kutty said, “You will destroy yourself.”
“So be it! Many people already got destroyed due to the rule of the fundamentalists. Let there be another one in the list. But no one must disturb me from now on.”
Kutty knew when Raghav had once made up his mind it couldn’t be changed. During the next week Raghav remained alone by himself trying to understand the possibilities of enforcing justice.
7.4: Raghav’s Plan for Revenge
Understanding the truth about his wife and his friends made Raghav restless. He wanted to complete the whole chart of events and pushed his meditation to fourteen to eighteen hours a day without giving any time for sleep. In fact, Raghav started avoiding sleep as the nightmare about the torture of his wife kept recurring. He was lucky to be used as a guinea pig to conduct laboratory experiments but his wife was not that lucky.
It was confirmed she was dead. Raghav thought to himself, that if he had to take revenge something more needed to be done. After knowing the actual truth about his wife and other colleagues Raghav was boiling with anger against the government. He planned to make use of the powers the machine had given him. He stayed in the cave for another week and completed the map. Then he came up with a new modus operandi targeting the government.
Raghav had spent about three months meditating in the forest. He returned to the camp to see the others going about their daily activities. He knew that the chart that he had drawn up was comprehensive. He met Kutty and told him,
“Till now I did not know what had happened in the last ten years and I also realized that you guys also do not understand the reality that well. Now I have this new chart. It gives an accurate description about the flow of actual events. I want you to talk to Ganguly and publish this in a book format. It has to be a must-read for all who are part of us.”
Kutty looked at the exhaustive list of events that Raghav had written down. Raghav continued,
"Well I know it’s a lot but as they say if you forget your history you relive it."
Kutty replied,
"Okay cool I will get this done. What else?"
Raghav took out another set of documents from his pocket and asked Kutty,
“Are you still good at keeping secrets?",
"So what did you find out there."
"Well, while researching I also came upon the names of few of our comrades who have gone into hiding and their whereabouts. I think we should contact them and try to recruit them."
Kutty looked at the list of 30 odd people on the page that Raghav just handed him and asked
"Recruit them, for what?"
"Well for future missions, which I have not planned as yet.. Also it’s better to keep in touch with friends."
Raghav then turned the page and said,
"The information in these pages is more important. It details the bank accounts mostly in foreign countries which I think are still active and beyond the scope of government of India's intelligence agencies. I think these are rich in funds."
“I had least expected that you would be doing a treasure hunt! Anyways you have done us a great service but what actually do you think we will do with so much money?"
"To create more nuisance."
Raghav moved straight towards his tent without waiting for Kutty to respond. Kutty waited there for a few minutes for Raghav to come back. He had never seen Raghav in this arrogant mood ever before.
Next day Kutty left the camp informing Ganguly only about the plans. Kutty entered India by crossing the sea into Orissa to elude the authorities. Kutty had with him two lists. One was the name of the comrades who were in hiding and the other was the list of potential bank accounts in domestic and international banks that could be used as funds for running the movement.
Kutty first went
straight to his hideout in the town of Mayurbhanj in Eastern Orissa where he was planning to set up a base. From there he started contacting the comrades who had gone into hiding and call them to this location; from here they would be taken to Raghav’s camp.. He also planned to tap some of bank accounts through friends who were still working for the major bankers like the Reserve Bank, State Bank and other international banks.
With them Kutty wanted to execute a plan to take the money out and deposit them in separate accounts in Swiss and other international banks out of reach of Government of India. He sent few comrades to get the reserves in gold and cash stashed in different hideouts all over the country. Kutty was impressed by the information provided by Raghav to him.
7.5: Raghav Developing Serious Mental Disorders
Raghav who returned from the forest was a different individual. He looked sane and devoid of the anger that he had against the system. He looked totally in control now and everyone was expecting something from Raghav. Though he was shaken by the news of the death of his wife, Raghav showed exemplary control of himself. As Ganguly was preparing the notes Raghav came up with a new idea supporting the plan.
Raghav said,
“How about me start taking lessons about what I learnt from my work? I think it will be very good if we can share what I learnt in a more comprehensive manner.”
Ganguly replied,
“Well I think that is a very good idea. I think most of the men over here have forgotten socialist philosophies and by this they will also be motivated. It was very difficult to keep them motivated since you had left for the forests. People over here are getting restless and Kutty and I don't know what to ask of them.”
“Don't you worry. I think I now know the right thing is to talk to them.”
Raghav pointed out to a Banyan tree near the forest entrance and said,
“What if I go and sit down there under the Banyan tree and you can go and ask the people who would be interested to join me over there in discussion?.”
After about half an hour fifteen people had joined Raghav under the Banyan tree. Till now no one had the courage to directly address Raghav with their own questions. Everyone started asking Raghav about what had happened to him and his story but instead Raghav focused on discussing the philosophy and history behind the socialist movement.
He started with personalities and their thoughts. Raghav began with the Communist Manifesto of Marx and Engels and the socialist understanding of it. Then he moved onto other socialist theories and other individuals like Gramci, Lenin Stalin etc.. He spoke on Gandhi and his understanding of the western socialism. He presented the perspectives of socialist leaders and India's understanding of socialism by the likes of Swami Sahjanand Saraswati and also the peasant movement, to Subhash Chandra Bose and his role in the INA.
He spoke about tribal movements and the role of leaders like Birsa Munda. He enlarged upon leaders of the Naxalbari movement from Charu Majumdar touching upon the roles played by Indira Gandhi and Babu Jagjivan Ram during the Emergency. The discussions were entertaining and it continued late into the nights; the people would often forgot about their food and rest. The crowd joining Raghav increased by the day and by the end of the week more than fifty people surrounded him to learn from him politics, economics and sociology.
The discussion became a routine affair at the camp. During the day Raghav spent his time looking through the charts and memorizing what he had understood but by the evening he was back under the great banyan tree discoursing with his comrades. But the effort of forgetting what was in his mind was taking its toll and by the end of two weeks the first physical symptoms started to emerge. His tongue started slipping and rolling at some points when he tried to think or when difficult questions were asked to him. Ganguly witnessing the change in Raghav's health suggested that he should stop with these daily sessions but Raghav insisted on continuing.
A week later Kutty returned with new recruits. Ganguly explained Raghav's condition. Ganguly told Kutty,
“Raghav is getting more and more cynical by each day. He seemed to skip conversations and is getting more and more absent minded. At night he screams and shouts as if haunted by nightmares. And during the day he locks himself inside his tent. I think he is slowly losing the understanding of reality. Raghav’s blood pressure indicates constant stress. For the last few days we have been giving him sedatives.”
Horrified Kutty listened to all this. Ganguly said,
“Now I am scared if under these conditions he will effectively be able to inspire people. I think Raghav's severe mental state has debilitated him so much that he actually wants to stop doing all this, but at the same time it seems he is pushing himself on just for our sake.”
Kutty replied,
“I could always tell when Raghav was under stress. The veins on his forehead swelled distinctly.”
“I think Raghav is under continuous stress. You should try to calm him down and ask him to stop speaking. He is sounding more and more petulant each day and this might send a wrong signal to the comrades; their morale might flag. I have been trying to offset this by explaining to them that in his delirium Raghav had seen the horrendous sufferings of most of his friends who were killed by the government.”
“That is why he was edgy sometimes. But his appearance is now disheveled and this will not be well received by the comrades – especially the new ones. I would ask you to request him to pause in his activities until he regains complete control over himself.“
Kutty replied,
“I have just came back from my trip and will see what I can do about it.”
Ganguly continued,
“You must do so at the earliest. He has become so restless that he cannot sit quietly anywhere even for five minutes. After the successful Manipur operations and Raghav's state of excitement everyone in the camp was expecting something new, but I don't think Raghav is now able to lead anyone in his present state of mind.”
“I am sure he is not full of revenge as he is not that type of person but that is the rumor that is circulating among the comrades. Also strangely, for last few days Raghav has become very noisy too. He pokes around the camps to see what others are up to. He gives unrealistic orders and gets irritated at the slightest mistake. Last night he was about to beat the cook for extra salt in his meal and I stopped him.”
“Dr Raman had warned him of heightened senses and these side effects but I didn't expect it to blow out of proportions like this. Tomorrow I will ask Raghav to come for a thorough medical examination and we will see if something is going wrong. I think the only way one can stop Raghav in his tracks is to warn him medically. I don't think rationality will work.”
“I think you know Raghav more than me. Hope he listens to you now. Anyways the book that Raghav had asked to prepare is almost ready and is already out for print.”
Kutty met Raghav at night and persuaded him for an early morning medical examination. Dr Venkataraman had already warned that no physical examination would be able to say anything more than what he already knew about Raghav's condition. He has said,
“There is no need for prognosis to be done. This happens when the sub-conscious mind pressurizes the conscious and tries to take over the individual. I had warned you about this situation and only someone with a strong mind like Raghav could survive this condition otherwise others would have gone completely mad by now.”
Kutty asked,
“If there is a way we could help Raghav out of this situation. Can we do something to help him recuperate from this mental condition? Can we operate on his brain again and remove what is stored there?”
Dr Venkatraman responded,
“Well I don't think operating on Raghav will do any good to him. Somehow we have to send this message to his subconscious that it should stop doing this on Raghav and then we have to destroy what is in the subconscious.”
“Do you have a medical procedure for doing this?”
“I think we don't need a medica
l procedure to do this. I think I have got an idea. There are only two places in the world where the human subconscious can be defeated. Those places are either up in the mountains or down below in the depths of the oceans. Mountains and oceans are the places where a human being realizes that he is nothing in front of Mother Nature and the underlying pressure gets dissolved.”
“So we should try to send Raghav to either of these places. I don't think he has the health to go to the mountains, we should take him to the seas.”
“We cannot be there with Raghav. That rules out the option for oceans. The only option left is to ask him to go to the Himalayas all by himself.”
“That's too dangerous. Why can't you hypnotize and fix him?”
“That would not help. We need to tell his mind the reason for going to the Himalayas. And trust me, with the vast ocean of knowledge that we have fed into his mind, he does not need our help there. He could well take care of himself.”
“So what do you we suggest we do to him?”
“Fear is the key. That's how the touts sell their products. I got an idea.”
THE MYSTIC: PART I - THE SEEKER (Part 1 - THE SEEKER) Page 19