“I’m not going to make a deal with you, Orias.” I said, honestly.
“I am not here to make a deal with you. I am only here to tell you a secret.” I was intrigued and he continued, “It is a secret I hold, and no one else. It is a secret that is meant for only you. If you want to hear it, that is.”
His long regal fingers grasped his staff. I never knew why he carried such a thing. Staffs were for old people or wizards. He may have been ancient but he wasn’t feeble. It held some kind of power in its own right. He pulled it closer to himself while I considered it.
“Go ahead. But understand this,” I pointed my finger out with as much authority as I could muster, “I owe you nothing for this information.”
“If I needed you, you would be mine to command.”
“My Beacon birthright does not allow me to aid in hurting anyone. I will always have my free will when it comes to that.”
He laughed, “Very true. But there are ways around everything. Even your birthright. If I wanted you for myself I would have already had you. I helped you once before because I owed it to my son. I help you again now because it aids in my own cause.”
I scoffed, “I knew it.”
“You don’t have long,” He looked away into the far corners of the blackness, “Even now, someone stirs in your home. Dawn comes quickly.”
“Hurry up then,” I urged.
But he said nothing. He just stood still, statuesque and beautiful. He was such a striking, dangerous figure. Tall, proud, dark and wild, like a viper, and I was not about to turn my back on a snake.
Hell’s black fog crept around his feet and climbed his robes.
I reached out to grab his robes but turned to mist at my touch.
“Tell me, Orias,” I beseeched, but it was too late. He shattered into pieces each grayish shards growing wings and taking flight in back into the fog. The swarm of moths fluttered toward my face. I closed my eyes against their onslaught. They surrounded me, invading my eyes my mouth. They crawled into my hair. I crouched low into a ball but they were everywhere. Then, I heard them whisper in my ear.
“I can change your fate.”
***
“Coffee,” I muttered as I walked into the kitchen. My father poured me a cup and we sat down at my small breakfast table. He handed it to me like he was handing it to a toddler and sending me this strange look all the while.
“She’s awake,” Ben muttered, as if sleeping late wasn’t something she did all the time. I didn’t have to go to work, and I didn’t feel like attempting my thesis, although it needed to be redone at some point.
“How can we be sure it’s her?” Ben asked Ava. I didn’t know how to take that comment.
My body was extraordinarily sore. I was exhausted, but I figured it was from gleaning the night before. Orias had given me his message, or rather the small gray moths had given it to me.
I can change your fate.
What did that mean? Was it a warning? A chance? An opportunity? Did I even want to know?
Even though I didn’t need or want their help, I was surrounded by my motley assortment of loved ones. They all showed up for me. The all were here to protect me, when it was written in the stars that I was created to protect them. They loved me that much. I was humbled.
It was so easy to forget my blessings when I was surrounded by darkness, but I would try not to forget again. I was so far gone, so lost in my own head, and lost in a bottle- never again would I forget them. Never again would I forget myself. If we are all defined by the choices we make, then it was about time I started making some good ones. I needed to define my daemons and not let them define me.
Currently all of my blessings were eyeing me warily. Ben and Ava were cooking something on the stove and watching me out of the corner of their eyes. My father and Kevin sat at the table with me pretending to write notes on a yellow legal note pad, keeping their voices low. Cyrus and Orrin were nowhere in sight.
“So what’s everybody doing today?” I asked
All heads turned toward me like I was crazed.
“What?” I asked but no one answered. It was very obvious they were keeping something from me again.
“Ya’ll know how I feel about this kind of crap. I don’t. Like. Secrets.”
“We’re not keeping secrets, Layla,” My dad touched my hand, and my eyebrow went up. “You…I mean, we had a rough night. Are sure you’re feeling okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
Ava brought me a plate of food and as I raised my arms to take the plate from her I felt a shooting pain in my back. I gasped and couldn’t breathe for a moment. I instantly lowered my arms, and reached around to my back.
“I know you don’t remember what happened, but you scared the crap out of all of us.” Ben said not coming any closer.
“Luckily Kevin and I could subdue you before you did any major damage to yourself or the town.”
“The town? What do you mean?” My heart leapt out of my chest. “How is that possible? I don’t even remember ever escalating?”
But I could hear my blood pressure escalating now. Just when I began to feel myself again, when I could feel an ounce of control without the help of liquor, I snapped- how is that fair? I stood up without touching my breakfast. All four of them flinched mightily. They tried to recover but it couldn’t.
“Somebody tell me what happened. Where is Cyrus? Where’s Orrin?” I whined, sounding pitiful- sounding needy.
“They’re around,” Ava cut in. “You’ve been out of it for days.”
“What?” I was incredulous.
“It’s true. You were having fits in your sleep, ripping out the feathers from your wings. Your aura turned dark, like black fog, and it swam all over the room like it wanted to invade all of us. I don’t think it was really your aura at all, but no one else could see it. Not even Orrin, but when I told him what I saw he disappeared and we haven’t seen him since. There were explosions all over the city we could see them and hear them from the window.”
“That’s enough, Ava,” my father said quietly, trying to stop the information spilling from her mouth.
I was confused, “How is that possible?”
“Well, we were hoping you would tell us,” Kevin finally spoke up. “We were thinking it had something to do with your daemon since the event invoked your birthright, the black aura coming through, and you were ripping at your wings like a madwoman- like a daemon. Did something happen while you were sleeping?”
I didn’t want to tell them, but it seemed I had no choice, “I did go somewhere. I can travel within my dreams the way most angels and daemons can.”
My dad breathed his first sigh of relief, “We figured that’s what it was.”
“Who were you with?” Ava asked, curiously.
I can’t tell them. I shouldn’t. Would Orias be angry? Do I even care?
“Why does it matter?” I wasn’t ready to reveal the conversation since I didn’t know if it was pertinent to them. If I could change my fate what would happen to them? They would all tell me I was crazed. Maybe I would keep this dream to myself a while longer. My daemon moved restlessly within me. It too liked its secrecy. I shook my head at my own paranoid thoughts.
“Layla, when you left your body, your mind was unguarded. It left your daemon free to take full possession of your body. Two days ago, you rose up in the middle of the night and set yourself on fire.”
I gave my father a withering look. It was my turn to think he was crazed.
“It’s true. The only things that were actually injured were your wings. But it didn’t mess up your hair, which is a bonus, and incredibly odd.”
I rolled my eyes at Ben, “How did you stop me?”
“There are chants, holy scripture, prayers that can subdue a daemon in cases like that. Kevin was quicker than I was. We got you doused and calm, but then the explosions outside the apartment started.”
“Explosions?” I asked tamping down on my daemons excitement
, “I blew up the town?”
“Only parts of it,” Ava added.
“Why do you think it was me? You’re sure Samael didn’t cause the explosions?”
Kevin cut in, “Samael would never be that blatant, at least not so soon in an attack. Blowing things up is a telltale sign of a young daemon, someone unable to control their emotions. It was easy to put your gleaning and the fire together.”
“Oh my God, I need to go fix this.”
“Whoa, whoa,” my father touched my shoulders and it cause terrible pain. “Cyrus and Orrin are handling that, I’m sure. They have been gone since yesterday. They haven’t abandoned you. There are things that must be handled in a situation like this. Damage control is also part of a daemonologist’s job. The explosions around town were blamed on a series of natural gas leaks that set off a weird chain reaction. The public is buying it. Cyrus has been talking to the city manager trying to ensure he drinks the Kool-Aid too.”
“Kool-Aid?” Sometimes I didn’t know who this man was.
“Yeah. Good word for it, James.” Ava laughed sadistically.
“Well, where’s Orrin?” I asked.
Dad paused, “He hasn’t really told us much of anything he’s been doing. I wonder sometimes if we can trust him. Orrin has always been like that. He has always come and gone without a hello or goodbye.”
“That much is true,” I agreed, but it didn’t make my need for him any less.
“He’s a good boy. I’ve known him all his life.” Kevin stood up for him.
“You’ve only lived his lie.” My father said. I could feel a confrontation coming on.
His throat constricted for a moment. “That may be, but I’d trust that daemon with my life. I trusted him with my daughter. I trust him as much as any of you. Please don’t speak badly of Hea…Orrin.”
I forgot that both my father, Kevin, and probably Cyrus had all known Orrin much longer than I had, in both lives. I found this fact to be irritating and creepy. I was supposed to know him best. Wasn’t I?
“Are you going to tell us what went on with you?” my dad pushed.
I looked around the room at the faces of my friends, my family- all who joined me on the cusp of insanity, ready to jump into the cold grasp of Hell. I wouldn’t let that happen to any of them. I understood why they kept so much from me for so long, and it was my time to do the same. I was the Beacon- honesty was not my job. Protection was.
“I don’t think my dream is something I want tell you.”
“Of course you can, Layla. I’m your father. You can tell me anything.”
“Dad, you kept things from me for my protection, because you loved me. Now I have to do the same.”
“Will you listen to yourself?” Ben jumped in. “Satan himself is following you around. You lit yourself on fire. There are people out there hurt by what you did. You obviously need help, so let us help you. What the hell happened while you were dreaming?”
“I don’t know if I can tell you,” I muttered. “It involves Orias.”
At the mention of his father’s name, Orrin jumped into the living room and proceeded straight toward me. He grabbed my shoulders like we were the only two I in the room, “If it involves my father then you surely need to tell me.”
17
“Why should I tell you anything at all?”
His grip on my arm increased, “Really?”
“Really.”
“Let me see your wings,” Orrin continued.
I looked around the room. It felt as if he had just asked to see me naked, “Orrin, no,” I whispered.
“Now,” He pulled me into the bedroom.
I reluctantly unfurled them after he shut the door. They came out way too quickly and painfully. I eyed them in the full-length mirror on the back of my door. They were missing most of their long flight feathers. My back and wings were a muddy with dark red scabs and purple bruises.
“Why aren’t they healing?” I wondered.
“To tear apart the wings on an angel is deadly. It is one of the only things that will kill an angel.”
“I did this to myself?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes,” he answered. “It took all of us here to subdue you.”
This was just another horrid example of the constant war within me.
I heard a gasp from the door. Ben and Ava stood at the door with Cyrus looming over them. He never knocked.
They looked appalled. He looked pale. A myriad of emotions were passing on his face as he stared at my reflection in the mirror. His eyes finally met mine and there was only anger left, and he wore it like armor. I was hurting him. Orrin’s presence was hurting him. But I didn’t know how to fix it. Was that bad? Was that wrong? I couldn’t even fix myself at that point.
My eyes darted between both of them, each had a strong claim on my heart. Orrin’s eyes were resolute. Cyrus was livid. He left the doorway and headed back to the living room with my father and Kevin. Orrin slammed the door in the girls’ faces.
“Hey,” Ava said slapping her palm on the door. “Rude.”
Orrin took my hand and kissed it lightly. I breathed him in and the turmoil his touch brought. He laid his other hand on the arch of my wing.
“Tell me where you’ve been. My father pulled you in while you were dreaming?”
“I think I was in Hell,” I answered. “Or someplace that felt a lot like it.”
“His reality is Hell, so it makes sense. Samael could have gotten to you. He pulled you into his dream and separated you from your body. It must have been gravely important for him to take such a risk.”
“Really? I’ve gleaned before. I’ve dreamed of Lillith and Orias, even of you.”
“This was different- that was when you were controlling it. Did my father hurt you?”
I thought of the moths, their white bodies invading mine. “I don’t think so. Orias had a message to deliver to me, but I can’t really remember what it was. I remember he said he didn’t think he would be welcomed on Earth with all of us.”
Orrin seethed, “No. He knew what he was doing. He pulled you out while you were sleeping to avoid confrontation with any of us. Even me. What’s he hiding?”
“He said the message was just for me. I don’t think he wanted anyone else to know.”
“It’s still reckless, and Orias is seldom reckless. He knew that if you woke while you were still in his dream world, your daemon would be the only thing left to control your body.”
“And that’s what happened?” It sounded plausible.
“Of course it is. What I don’t understand are his motives. Was he being helpful, destructive or just devious? Why would he want your daemon in control? That would only mean Lillith would gain the upper hand against him. No, he wouldn’t want that.” He ran his hands through his thick, sexy hair making my fingers itch to do it too. “I’m going to have to go talk to him soon. Figure out what his game is.”
“I’m going with you,” I added.
“No you are not,” Came a booming voice from the other room. Cyrus had been listening to our conversation.
“Eavesdropping is rude, angel.” Orrin spat out.
“So was stealing my date, daemon.” Cyrus drew back his fist suddenly and Orrin jumped out of the way. Cyrus stumbled and turned just as Orrin reemerged in my bedroom doorway.
I moved to stand in between them, my hands and eyes glowing like red coals, “Damn, you’re both pretty, okay? Now stop.”
“This decrepit dinosaur needs to know that you are mine, Layla.” Orrin argued.
“I let you have her. I gave you your shot because it’s what I thought she wanted. She has always been mine even before you were created. You had ample opportunity and you nearly killed her. I’m not about to let her suffer anymore.”
“She is my soulmate,” Orrin yelled, his eyes like center blue of a flame.
But Cyrus was still cool, “That doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. Nothing lasts forever and history can always be re-written.”
“You have no idea what you are talking about…”
“Stop,” I said my voice layered from my daemon’s dark evil. I cleared my throat and pushed the evil down, “I care for both of you. So much it kills me that I am doing this to both of you. I can’t deal with this right now. I can’t deal with Samael and you two fighting over me. Please, just please stop. If you love me, then don’t make this harder for me.”
I looked back to my avenging angel, my mind still grasping on the last words Cyrus said “Cyrus, what did you just say?”
“Which part?” He eyed me suspiciously.
“History can be re-written,” I chewed my lip and wracked my brain for the connection. “Fate. My fate. My fate can be re-written.”
“Layla, that’s nonsense,” Orrin said.
I shook my head, “That was the message Orias was trying to tell me.”
“Well, I don’t believe him. I don’t trust him after the stunt he pulled, and neither should you,” Orrin said.
“I’m with the daemon on this one,” Cyrus added. “You shouldn’t trust Orias, but you are wrong to think he’s lying.”
“Look, if he had that kind of power, I would know about it,” Orrin said to Cyrus.
“I’ve never fully trusted Orias, but you know he doesn’t’ make a habit of lying. I’m just saying, that was what he said to me- I can change your fate. Those were his words. I think.”
Orias had pulled me into a dream state to deliver that message. He left me vulnerable, left all of Earth vulnerable to an extremely potent and pent-up daemon who has powers even I did not fully comprehend. I guess it was an amazing feat that everyone there was able to control my daemon while I was with Orias. If I lost my wings would I lose the goodness that resided within me? Would I lose my love for either of them? I folded them into me and swallowed my pain that bubbled deep within. I had more to worry about besides my own damaged feathers.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting,” Cyrus commented at my wounded expression.
“It’s not so bad,” I shrugged off his concern and the pain in his eyes returned.
The Lariat (Finding Justus Series) Page 11