by Becca Siller
The Wanting Series
Wanting You
Needing You
Dealing with the trauma of her kidnapping and vicious treatment at the hands of her ex-boyfriend Tony, Charlotte McElroy struggles to find her way back to normality. Will the bond that Charlie and Wyatt Grayson, the sexy movie star, made be enough to handle the repercussions of her abuse? With friends and family by their side for support it should’ve been enough. Wyatt was Charlie’s beacon guiding her, together they survived the three days of hell at Tony’s hands. But will the emotional toll of her torment as well as the separation be too much for the couple to handle? Can Wyatt give Charlie the time she needs to recover without reverting to his promiscuous ways while filming in Scotland? Will jealousy and misunderstanding finally drive them apart, or is love really enough?
Charlie
I’m in Wyatt’s warm arms, his hand is tenderly stroking the length of my spine, but I’m so cold. The chill seeps into my bones, making me shiver violently. Wyatt whispers a gentle command to relax and I try but I can’t seem to relax my arms. The sudden smell of unclean bodies and sweat assaults my nostrils, causing me to crinkle up my nose. I turn my face further into Wyatt, but he’s no longer there. Where has he gone? The chill from before bombards my system, racking my fragile frame to the core. “Wyatt,” I croak out through a raspy dry throat, trying to bring him back, to bring back his warmth. When I attempt to open my eyes I can barely manage to slit one open enough to realize where I am…Allison’s apartment.
Tony and Allison are in the other room, and I can hear mumbled voices but nothing distinct. I can’t stop shivering. The wet sheets against my back are making it worse. The stench of old blood, sweat and bodily fluids is so strong I have to fight not to gag. I pull at my bonds but Tony has them tied so tightly my hands and feet ache from the lack of circulation. My muscles burn from the constant shivering and Tony’s relentless assaults.
The door bangs open, making me jump. Tony is standing there with a bottle of liquor and a lit cigarette, his massive body taking up the entire door frame. He leers at me, causing me to shake harder. Not from the cold but from what I know he’s about to do. I want to scream or call out for someone to save me from here but the words die in my chest. “You ready, baby?” he asks, his speech slurred slightly. “You know I’m the best there is, don’t you?” he states arrogantly, stalking to the side of the bed and setting his bottle down on the nightstand.
I stare at him unflinching, and he stares back at me but it seems more like he’s looking through me. He grabs my chin hard and licks the side of my face. The bile rises in my throat but I swallow hard to keep it from escaping. “Dumb bitch, this would end if you would just give me what I want,” he rasps in my ear. I hold my breath as he lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag. Then he brings it down onto my arm. The sharp burn makes me yelp. My eyes start to tear up but I blink fast before any of them fall.
“I love him, Tony; I will never be yours again,” I barely manage out, my throat so dry from I don’t know how many days without water. Tony laughs, then stands to undress. He slides his big body up mine. I close my eyes tightly, trying to will away the fear and panic threatening to choke me. I hear the unmistakable snick of a knife opening. Oh God no, not that! I can feel my chest clench tighter with anxiety and panic. He settles on top of me, pressing me hard into the mattress. The blade pierces deep into the skin above my collarbone as he slides into me. The blood-curdling scream is so long and hard that it seared deep into my soul.
Wyatt
I was jolted awake, from the first real sleep I’ve had since Charlie’s abduction, by shrill wails of pain and horror. I jumped quickly from the bed, my heart seeming to pound ice water through my veins. Charlie sounds so tormented, I can hear fear and pain in her every gasp and groan. “Charlie, Charlie baby, wake up,” I say as forcefully as I can without shouting. Then Charlie lets out a blood-curdling scream that makes my spine stiffen. I hit the call button for the nurses but I can already hear them pounding down the hallway. Darius, still part-bodyguard but all-friend, enters the room followed by two nurses.
One nurse yells to the other to call the doctor and request some medication I can’t pronounce. I’m continuing to call Charlie’s name but I can’t break through the fog of her nightmare. “You need to hold her down if you can without hurting her. If she keeps thrashing around like that, she’s going to hurt herself,” the nurse barks at me.
“Tell me how.” I demand roughly. The thought of holding Charlie down makes my stomach turn and knot up. From the bandages around both her wrists and ankles I know Tony kept her tied to something.
Out of nowhere Darius shouts with jarring loudness, “Charlie!” Immediately Charlie stills and her eyes pop open.
She glances around obviously trying to get her bearings and shake off the dream haze. “Wha…What’s going on? Wyatt! Where’s Wyatt?” she asks, starting to panic.
“I’m right here, baby. You were having a nightmare.” I reach my hand out for her, and she takes it, pulling herself into my arms. Her body is racked with shivers and covered with icy sweat. Charlie’s so frantically trying to cling to me that she wraps her legs around my waist and buries her face in the crook of my neck.
Slowly, she starts taking deep breaths in and out, trying to calm herself. “I’m sorry, I was there again and it seemed so real, so fucking real,” she rasps, and I can feel the first hot tear splash on my neck.
Holding her like this I’m finally able to see the skin on her legs. I swallow hard at the mutilation of her perfect skin. Her legs are riddled with burns and little cuts going every which way but the worst are the man-size handprint bruises around her thigh where he obviously grabbed her roughly. Slowly the reality of what he did to her starts to sink in and I can’t remain on my feet anymore. Darius is there to help me sit back on the bed with her.
The nurse that ran out earlier comes back with a syringe, clearly frazzled. “Dr. Iverson is the psychiatrist on call for her. He said he’d be here in ten minutes and not to give it to her until he got here.”
Nodding, both the nurses take stations around the room. Darius pulls up a chair next to Charlie and me. Then we just wait for the doctor.
Charlie
When Dr. Iverson arrives shortly after my nightmare. I’m worried. I don’t know what I’m worried about, maybe that he ‘ll give me something to sleep and I’ll be locked in those nightmares with no way out. Reliving beatings and rapes over and over. Even though I know I need sleep, I also know I won’t be able to survive like this. Or without Wyatt, and he’s leaving in a few days.
“Nightmare?” Dr. Iverson asks. His ability to speak so calmly is amazing, like he’s asking me what I had for lunch yesterday. I nod my head and look down at my hand resting on Wyatt’s chest. “Want to talk about it?”
“No, not really,” I say, glancing at Wyatt quickly.
“You need to tell him, Charlotte, it isn’t fair for him to remain helpless and in the dark,” Dr. Iverson states directly.
“I’m sitting right here, and I’d feel better if you didn’t refer to me like that,” Wyatt interjects defensively. “I’m not going to push Charlie to tell me anything she isn’t ready to tell me.”
“Stop. I’ll tell him, Dr. Iverson, I just need a little more time.” I know I need to tell Wyatt some of what happened but every time I begin, the images of those days flash through my head and I just can’t speak the words out loud.
“This is a conversation I feel you two need to have in person and from what I understand, you’re leaving to film a movie in Scotland in a few days.” He directs the implied question to Wyatt.
“Yes, that’s right, but for now I want to spend every moment I can with Charlie and if that means doing it in silence,
then so be it,” Wyatt responds tersely.
Sighing, Dr. Iverson stands and walks close to my bed. “Charlotte, I know you went through some really horrific things. You do need time to process them, so I will give you a break today and we’ll work on it, ok? Mr. Grayson, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Charlotte is in good hands.” Dr. Iverson says, and turns to leave.
“Dr. Iverson, what can I do about the nightmares?” I ask him before he’s out the door.
“I can give you a light sedative but that won’t keep them away. You’ll need to start talking about them.” Then he turns and exits the room.
I sag against my bed thinking for long moments before even looking at Wyatt. I know I need to tell him at least something, and maybe it will help him understand what I went through. Sifting through the memories is like digging in a barrel of broken glass. Every piece cuts you, but some do so much damage that you try to avoid them at all cost.
“Wyatt, how long was I gone?” I ask, trying to get the conversation going.
“Three days,” he responds without looking at me.
“Allison never once tried to stop him.” I can feel Wyatt hold his breath. Trying to hang onto the thin thread of courage, I continue. “I would fight and scream and kick every chance I could. I was never going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me beg for mercy or for him to let me go. That’s why he started cutting and burning me.” I’m watching Wyatt’s profile. I see him close his eyes on a slow exhalation. I know Darius is in the room too but when they rescued me, he saw my broken naked body. He knows exactly what Tony did to me. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself or ever be the woman you deserve if I gave in.”
“Oh, Charlie, baby, there isn’t anything that could make you not worthy of me. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve such an amazingly strong woman like you. I can’t believe you were able to endure so much,” Wyatt pauses for a long time, then shifts to face me. “It doesn’t matter to me if you decide to tell me or not. I won’t love you any differently. I hope you know that. The fact that you’re here now is all that matters. I’m going to call you and Skype with you every chance I get even if I fall asleep doing it. Miles and I already decided to talk to the director to see if we can speed up the shooting if possible. I love you and I hate that I have to leave you when you need me like this.”
Wyatt’s words are haunted with his regret and so full of emotion I can’t stop myself from kissing him softly on his lips. His warmth seems to seep into me, and I feel alive again for a moment. Pulling back I look into his eyes, but I don’t need to say anything – I just need to look at him and memorize his beautifully rugged face. Wyatt lifts his lips in a half smile and I grin back. I know I’m a mess and broken. I know he deserves to have someone who can be there for him, too. Immediately I begin to hatch a plan to try to go to Scotland to visit him. I won’t need to be restricted for very long. The thought of visiting my man in a beautiful country like Scotland, makes my heart warm further.
The nurse interrupts my reverie, “Are you ready for your medication, Charlotte sweetie?”
I nod at her, then snuggle down into Wyatt’s side. The medication burns as it goes into my IV but Wyatt holds me close. He picks up the remote and begins flipping through the limited channels looking for something to watch. The medicine does its job because I don’t remember anything after that but blissful peaceful sleep.
Wyatt
The next morning I felt amazing. I was able to sleep the whole night with Charlie in my arms and she didn’t have another nightmare. It took me a while to fall asleep, because I was so afraid she was going to slip into that dark place again and need me. Luckily, whatever Dr. Iverson gave her did the trick because she slept like a baby. She even snored a little. It was cute but I’ll never tell her.
A text message from Miles gets me moving. It says Riley’s parents, Bill and Gina, are on their way to relieve me so I can come home to shower and change. Home? The fact that I finally have a real place I feel is my home, makes tears come to my eyes.
My life as a child was difficult. I was small for my age at first and was beaten up pretty often by other kids in the different foster homes. Once I was about ten, I’d had enough and decided to start fighting back. Eventually I was labeled a troublemaker and was rarely placed in the same foster home for long. At fourteen, I began getting into other kinds of trouble. A foster sister of mine told me I was attractive and at the time I didn’t know what that meant exactly. She showed me. She taught about me what I had to offer and how to use it to my advantage. The drawbacks to learning about sex weren’t the best, like getting caught sleeping with my foster parents’ sixteen-year-old daughter and then being caught in bed with my foster mom at the next home.
Being perceived sexually gave me attention I desired and it also gave me the power to manipulate the system to my liking. When I was seventeen, I was placed with a beautiful young woman and right away I began trying to seduce her. She denied me but didn’t send me back to the group home. I hated the group homes and I think she knew it. Instead she tried to teach me how to use what I had in a different way. She encouraged me to try acting and modeling. At first I thought it was ridiculous but after my first audition I realized she was the only woman who believed I could do something more with myself. But even when I was with her, I never really felt at home. Later, traveling so much for my career felt natural to me because I’d lived in so many different houses as a child.
Miles talked me into getting an apartment after our first movie together but I never really settled into it. It was just a place that held stuff. I didn’t personalize it in any way. But now that I have Charlie, the thought of coming home to her and hopefully one day our children makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. At first I thought having lots of money and women was a great life. It was what I’d always wanted. However, the women were only there because I had the money and the looks. Now I realize that wasn’t a life. What I have with Charlie, is truly living.
I was so lost in thought that I didn’t realize I was already home. When I stepped into the house I was almost bowled over by a very excited Deputy, another thing I never thought I would have – a pet.
“Hey man, how is she today?” Darius’s partner, Scott, asks.
“She slept better after Dr. Iverson came. We talked a little too, which was unexpected. I think she’s going to come home tomorrow,” my voice rises with excitement at the last part. The thought of having Charlie home in our bed…
“That’s great! I want to give her a welcome home party and Riley a congrats party for the baby and engagement,” Scott says, and the happiness in his eyes makes me smile. I look at him, really look at him for a moment. He and Darius barely knew Charlie when they gave up everything to stay with her and help protect her. I didn’t know people like that were real. I thought they were just characters written in scripts.
“Wyatt, Detectives Richards and McShane called – they’re going to the hospital to meet with Charlie later this afternoon – they just wanted to let you know in case you wanted to be there too,” Skylar interjects from the couch, making me shake off my thoughts.
“Thanks, man. Hey, where is everyone else?” I ask.
“Riley is still sleeping, she is having really bad morning sickness today, and Miles went to the store to get her some crackers and mint tea or some shit, I don’t know. He’s like a mother hen, it’s crazy,” Skylar replies with an indulgent grin. Even though Skylar is only Riley’s kid brother, he’s been really great through all of this.
“Well I don’t want to push Charlie too fast when she first gets home. Let’s keep it just family, ok? I’m going to shower,” I say over my shoulder as I turn, heading to Charlie and I’s room.
Riley
Yuck, I feel so terrible. Is this really what being pregnant is all about? Throwing up and getting pimples so big they could have their own zip code. Yeesh, I thought you were supposed to be glowing and happy. I’m so tired I can barely make it to the bathro
om in time to throw up.
“Hey baby, I got the crackers and tea. You want anything else?” my sweet Miles asks, gingerly sitting on the side of my bed next to me.
“No that’s ok, sweetie, I’ll be ok. Maybe a shower will help me feel better.” I try dragging my body into a sitting position. I see Miles’ eyes widen as he stares at me. “What?” I snap. He doesn’t say anything but continues to stare at my chest. His lips twitch into a mischievous grin. Looking down I see that my camisole had twisted and one of my breasts is completely uncovered. “Stop gawking, Miles!” I bark at him. You’d think the man has never seen a breast before.
“I’m sorry, Ry. They’re getting so big I can’t help myself. But I am sorry you’re sick. Are you ready to get into the shower? I could help you maybe…” he asks me, feigning innocence. I can’t keep from smiling at him. At first when I found out I was pregnant I freaked out. I thought for sure that Miles was going to think I was trying to trap him and leave. Fortunately he was thrilled and now we’re engaged. Things have gone way differently than I’d ever expected but I’ve never been happier.
“Yeah, but I’m showering alone, Miles. I don’t want you taking advantage of my condition,” I admonish playfully.
He holds his hands up in supplication. “Wouldn’t dream of it, baby.”
“That’s right,” I reply, laughing my way into my bathroom and closing the door. I’m not one of those girls who need to take two hours in the shower. When Charlie and I were in college together we studied so hard all the time that we rarely took the time to get really dressed up. But we would never be seen outside our dorm room looking like pigs either. We quickly learned how to shower, dress and do our hair quickly, thank God for Brazilian Blowout.
“Are we going to the hospital with Wyatt to meet with the detectives?” Miles asks as I exit the bathroom.