by Becca Siller
“This is stupid,” I say, looking at myself in the mirror.
“What is?” Scott and Riley come into my room.
“This, I have no idea what to wear because I have no idea where I’m going,” I exclaim.
“Move aside, missy,” Riley says, pushing me out of the way and diving into my closet.
“Come here and sit down, I need to do something with your hair.” Scott pulls me over, seating me in front of my vanity. “You really need a trim, baby girl.”
“I know. But I really don’t think this is a good idea. I can’t possibly be good company right now. I just barely started socializing,” I say, sounding panicked.
“You said you talked to Dr. Iverson about this and he thought it was a great idea. Besides, Ian knows what to expect. From what Olivia says he likes you. Just give it a chance and try to have fun,” Scott directs, braiding the front of my hair.
“Here, this is perfect!” Riley shouts, pulling out a pair of shiny black pleated shorts, a dove gray silk camisole and a lace overlay. “You can wear these with it.” She holds up my shiny silver strappy sandals.
“Fine, I think this is such a bad idea though. You know I’m going to prank every single one of you for this,” I smile wickedly.
Scott grins behind me. “There’s my girl, I knew she was in there somewhere.”
When they finish primping me, they leave to wait for my date. I sit in my room stroking Deputy’s head for comfort, and stare at the two boxes sitting on the top of my dresser, the two gifts I ordered for Wyatt. I had them specially made and engraved. Now I can’t do anything with them. Thinking about Wyatt makes my body ache to the point of tears. How can someone love one person this much, but push him away? The truth is I only needed space to pull myself together. Wyatt was the one that took it as a full breakup. It really doesn’t matter now since he’s moved on to some redhead that’s working on the same movie as him. I always knew I wasn’t able to compete with the hordes of beautiful woman that work around him.
“Do you miss him as much as I do, Deputy?” I ask as I lean down to drop a kiss on his silky head.
“Charlie, he’s here,” Darius says, poking his head in my door. “You look great.” He eyes widen with appreciation.
“I’m glad someone thinks so,” I say dryly. Darius chuckles deeply. “I’ll be right there. Let me grab my things.” I grab my purse then stop to stare at the pretty pink and white diamond ring on my finger. I haven’t taken it off yet. I just can’t bring myself to do it. Sighing, I shake myself, I need to try to enjoy life again.
Ian looks amazing in his low-slung jeans that fit his tightly muscled frame perfectly and a bright blue polo shirt that’s stretched across his sculpted chest. The color makes his dazzling blue eyes gleam. When he sees me he beams. His eyes rove over me with pure unadulterated lusty appreciation. My heart quickens and I blush, but I have to admit it feels really good to be wanted so blatantly.
“Charlie, you look remarkable,” he says, his eyes sparkling with approval.
“You look really good yourself, Detective McShane.”
“I’m off duty, you can just call me Ian,” he says, looking a little sad.
“I’m sorry, Ian, you look great. I’m a little nervous.” I blush and look away. He holds up a huge bouquet of flowers. “Wow, these are beautiful. What kind are they?”
“They’re from my garden. The big white bushy looking ones are hydrangea, the purple ones are lilacs and the light pink ones are called belladonna lilies. I like to grow flowers. It helps me relax from the job,” he says, looking a little embarrassed. His rich Boston accent makes me warm inside.
“This is the most amazing bouquet I’ve ever received, thank you.” I lean up to kiss him softly on the cheek, making him blush slightly.
“Belladonna lilies, aren’t they also called the naked lady flower?” Scott asks, and Ian blushes a little more. Riley elbows Scott in the ribs, making him grimace.
“Let me put these in a vase and then we can go.” I hurry into the kitchen, quickly placing the beautiful arrangement in the biggest vase I own.
The flowers are probably one of the sweetest gestures I’ve ever had directed to me. Wyatt and I didn’t really have a typical courtship. Yes, he bought me flowers and a promise ring but in all honesty we really didn’t go on very many dates. When we first met we were in Las Vegas and then I was attacked. Coming back to Portland, he visited briefly a few times and I’m pretty sure we spent much of that time together in bed. We always had an insatiable appetite for each other. These thoughts are beginning to make me sad. I miss him, his smell and his warm big body. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to be with anyone else.
“I hope you like Italian food?” Ian says from behind me. I jump, slightly startled. “Damn, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s ok. I’m still kind of jumpy.”
“I’m sure you will be after what you’ve been through.”
“Can we make a deal?” I ask tentatively. “Can we not talk about the fact that you know every terrifying detail of my life? I would like to enjoy our date tonight and when I think of you like that, it takes me back to that room,” I request, stepping closer to him. He smells good, like Irish Spring soap and expensive cologne.
“You’re right, let’s start over.” He holds his hand out for mine. He draws my knuckles to his lips to drop a soft kiss on them. “Hi, the name’s Ian and I’d love to take you out to dinner.”
I smile at him, a real genuine smile. “Hello, I’m Charlie and I love Italian food.” He tucks my hand into his elbow, leading me to the door. I wave to everyone and allow Ian to escort me to a sleek BMW waiting by the curb.
Ian takes me to a wonderful Italian restaurant in downtown Portland. The food is delectable, the atmosphere is cozy and relaxed and the staff is friendly, and most of them know Ian by name. “Come here a lot?” I ask when another person comes by to greet him.
“Is it that obvious?” he asks with a sheepish grin.
“So tell me about yourself. You look like a surfer kid from southern California but you have an edgy side that is clearly from the East Coast.” He looks at his glass of lemonade for a moment.
“Well, my mother was a beautiful young woman who went to California to make it big as an actress. Instead she got hooked up with some movie bigwig, got knocked up and then tossed aside. She moved back East, Boston to be exact, to stay with my uncle, who was a police officer. Despite my mom being a single parent I had a pretty great childhood. I had lots of friends, got good grades and had a mom who adored me. Once I graduated college I went through the academy and worked as a beat cop in the city for a while. I brought my mom out here before she died and we both fell in love with the place. I moved out here almost two years ago, became a detective eight months ago and got hooked up with Richards right away. The rest is history, as they say.” His face is impassive until he mentions his mother.
“I’m sorry to hear about your mother. How did she die? I’m sorry, that isn’t my business, you don’t have to answer that.” I add, quickly feeling my cheeks heating.
Ian stares at his glass again, swallowing hard a few times before answering. “It was cancer. It happened pretty fast.”
“I’m so sorry, Ian,” I reach across the table to take his hand in mine. He squeezes it gently. “I know how difficult it is to lose your parents. Do you like it here better?” I ask, trying to lighten the topic.
“I do now,” he replies, giving me a saucy wink that makes me blush. “Tell me about you.”
“I was an only child to a pair of Sacramento socialites. When I was sixteen, they both died in a car accident on the way to a dinner party. I took my GED, went to college and became a very young veterinarian. The rest is history.”
He smiles warmly at me “I suppose you really do know what it’s like to lose the ones you love the most. What made you move up here?”
He has no idea how fresh that loss is right now. “College and Riley’s firm. S
he was recruited right out of college and since we loved it up here anyway we decided to stay,” I squeeze out past my tight throat. Talking about my parents is hard at times. For the most part I’m fine with it but there are occasions where the memories are just overwhelming. “My life has been pretty boring. My parents were great when I was young before my dad became a politician. He was a lawyer first and we used to have these barbecues in the backyard. Riley and her family would all come over and we would run through the sprinklers eating up all of my mom’s cherry tomatoes. She used to get so mad at us, that hand on her hips, tapping her foot kind of mad, but she could never really stay mad at us. She and Gina used to tell us that our skin was going to turn red from all of the tomatoes we’d eat. I miss those days,” I say with a wistful smile. “Gosh, I haven’t talked to anyone about that kind of stuff.”
I look up to see Ian watching me intently with a small smile on his lips. It’s so easy to be around him. I thought I’d be more nervous but I feel completely at ease. The waiter comes by and asks if we want dessert. I couldn’t eat any more if I wanted to. Ian pays the check without a second glance and we leave the restaurant. He takes us on a short drive to the Oregon Zoo, one of my favorite places. He takes my hand in his and leads me in.
Inside Steller Cove, I confess to Ian that I didn’t pay very close attention during aquatic wildlife in veterinary school but give him all of the useless information I have anyway. He listens intently and adds a few things I didn’t know. It’s the most companionable relaxing date I’ve ever been on. We smile and laugh a lot. It feels good to be almost normal.
On the ride home I begin feeling guilty for enjoying myself so much. Even though I know Wyatt has moved on, I’m still so in love with him. Yes I genuinely like Ian, but my love for Wyatt is epic and deep. I don’t know how to set it aside or how to make room for someone else.
“I had a really great time, Charlie,” Ian says, his blue eyes glittering.
“So did I. That was the best date I’ve ever been on,” I tell him honestly.
“Can I call you then?” he asks expectantly.
“I think that would be ok.”
“I will need your number. I could get it from work but one, that would be a misuse of my authority, and two, I’d rather you give it to me.” I give him my number, then he gets out of the car, walks around and opens my door. When he helps me out, he pauses, pulling me in close to his warm body. The balmy summer air is thick outside and I feel the sweat start to gloss my skin. He runs his hands up and down my arms, his gentle touch leaving my skin tingling. But I don’t feel the same rush as when Wyatt would touch me. I want to curse for thinking about Wyatt when this gorgeous man has devoted his attention to me. “Thank you again for a wonderful evening, Ian,” I say breathlessly.
“It was my pleasure. Can I kiss you now?” he asks so calmly I’m shocked silent at first. I have an inner war with myself for long moments, clearly too long, because he begins to back away.
“Wait,” I say, quickly grasping the front of his t-shirt. I don’t have to say anything else because he dips his head and kisses me.
Ian’s lips are soft and plump, his kiss gentle and inviting, causing slow sensual warmth to spread down my body. But it doesn’t make my toes curl. His tongue lightly flicks at my lips until I part them, allowing him access. He slides his minty tongue in to softly stroke mine, slow and constant, never pushy or forceful. I begin to wonder if I do it for him. He doesn’t seem to have the urgent fire to deepen the kiss or take me. His hands wrap tenderly around my waist. When he pulls me closer I realize that thought was wrong. I slide my hands up around his neck and start to press closer when the front door opens. I jerk away from Ian, dragging in a deep breath.
I hear a short curse from Ian but don’t look at him again. Skylar and Olivia are walking out to the car. Skylar is clearly trying to get her to go back inside. “I said no more, I have to be at work early in the morning,” she says as she slaps at his wandering hand.
“Shit!” Skylar curses when he notices us. “I didn’t see you guys there.”
Ian narrows his eyes at him, then turns to rub a hand down his face. When he looks back at me he hooks his finger under my chin, making me look at him. “I’m sorry if I was moving too fast. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you.” The tone of his voice is a giveaway of how close he’d come to pushing me into the car and really deepening the kiss. I know he was holding back for me.
The thought warms me a little. “It was fine, I wasn’t scared. Thank you again.” I start for the house but turn back before I get halfway. “Oh, and Ian…”
He looks up. “Yes.”
“I’ll be expecting that call.” I waggle my fingers at him and head for the door but not before seeing his enormous smile.
Riley
Charlie looks almost radiant when she returns from her date with Ian. But I know deep down she’s still hurting for Wyatt. I wish there was a way to help her get over him. I was totally Team Wyatt until Miles told me he’d been taking some bitch from the set out. I know men move on faster than women but for heaven’s sake. On the other hand, I hope I’m not pushing Charlie too fast to date again.
“How was it?” I ask, lounging on her bed. “Why is your bed so soft? I love it.”
Charlie laughs from the bathroom, “You have the attention span of a parakeet now that you’re pregnant. The date was great actually. He took me to dinner, Italian, I’m sure you had nothing to do with that.” I give her my best innocent look. “Then he took me over to the zoo and we walked around until it closed. It was really awesome.”
“Did he kiss you?” I ask, waving off the mundane details. “Come on, Leelee, I want the juicy stuff, not the boring,” I exclaim with an overly dramatic eye roll.
“Why do you and Skylar keep calling me that now? Isn’t Charlie short enough?” I shake my head at her and give her an impatient glare. “Fine, yes he kissed me but was interrupted by Sky chasing Olivia out of the house.”
“Well, how was it? Is he a good kisser?”
Charlie comes to sit next to me on the bed, leaning into my shoulder. “Yes, he is a great kisser. But…”
“But?” I drawl.
“He isn’t Wyatt. I found myself comparing them throughout the whole damn date even though I mentally kicked myself for it. I don’t know if I can do this, Riley. I think I’m still just too much in love with Wyatt.” Charlie sags against me in defeat. “I feel so guilty. Like I shouldn’t be having this much fun with someone else.”
“So how was it?” Scott and Darius burst into Charlie’s room followed by Sebella and Deputy.
“He kissed her, she said he can kiss great but she’s having doubts because she’s still so in love with Wyatt.” I get them all caught up.
“Why doesn’t anyone knock anymore, what if I’d been naked?” Charlie demands, staring up at her celling. She makes a loud huffing sound when Deputy gets onto the bed and plops down on top of her.
“We’ve all seen your naked ass, baby girl,” Scott says rubbing Darius’s back absently.
“I haven’t,” Skylar says, launching himself onto Charlie’s bed.
“For heaven’s sake, this isn’t a sleepover. I’m depressed and need a good cry,” Charlie says, grunting from trying to dislodge Skylar from the bed with her feet.
“Oh, hell no, we’re not going through that again. Listen, sweetie, I like Wyatt but Miles says he has a girl already. You deserve to be happy too,” Darius says tenderly.
“Besides, Ian’s hot. I’m not saying you need to fall in love with him. Just play with him for a while. Have some fun!” I tell her, shaking her roughly, pretending to loosen her up.
“It’s always hard to get over love, honey. It really never goes away.” Scott says, looking forlorn in remembrance of something.
“Sometimes I really hate all of you,” Charlie says dryly. A shrill sound comes from her purse. She leans over the mound of bodies on her bed to answer it. “Hello,” she says and then smiles broadly. “No
, it isn’t.” She pauses. “I think I might be free.”
“Oh my God, is that Ian?” I mock whisper. Charlie slaps at me to shut up. Skylar smacks her on the ass, making her yelp loudly.
“Damn it, Sky, that isn’t funny!” she shouts and kicks out, catching him just right to send him toppling off the bed. He reaches out to catch himself but instead takes Darius with him to the ground. Everyone bursts out laughing. “Sorry, Ian, my family is crazy. I would love to meet you for lunch tomorrow, just send me a text with the details.” She rings off, then turns to glare at Skylar, who is still sprawled on the floor.
Out of nowhere Charlie launches herself at him without a moment’s hesitation. They start to wrestle like they did when we were kids. Charlie was always the athletic one and could kick Skylar’s ass until he was fifteen. “Stop, I need to know what he said!” I shout over the howls of laughter coming from Scott and Darius and Skylar’s screeches in pain from Charlie’s pinches.
“I give up! I give up!” Skylar wails.
Charlie stands, pumping her fist in the air triumphantly. She sits back on the bed like nothing happened and cuddles back into my side. “He asked if he’d waited long enough to ask me out again and wants to meet for lunch tomorrow.”
Scott and Darius share a look and Skylar rolls his eyes. “Damn, Charlie, you must have some voodoo that I don’t know about. Every guy you kiss falls in love with you,” Scott complains, tilting his head to the side. Out of nowhere he jumps over and plants a big wet kiss on Charlie’s mouth. He taps his chin for a minute. “Nope, I just don’t see it.” Charlie shoves him, making him fall onto Darius.
I laugh at the antics happening around me. I love having the old mischievous Charlie around. The thought occurs to me then…my baby is going to have the craziest, most loving bunch of aunts and uncles ever, pretty sweet deal for him. Damn, Miles has me convinced he’s a him. Even though I told him it is too early to tell, he still calls him little Miles or Junior.