Needing You

by Becca Siller

  I can’t look him in the eye. I just try to shrug him off and inch closer to the door. “Go away, I’m not in the mood for company,” Wyatt shouts at the door, not releasing my arm. The trailer smells like sex and Wyatt, a heady combination that’s making me confused.

  “I can make you in the mood, baby,” she purrs. I feel bile rising in my throat. I cover my mouth, swallowing hard.

  “Get the fuck out of here. I don’t want company!” he shouts loudly, making me flinch. She makes a disgruntled sound, slams her hand against the door, then leaves. When he realizes she’s left, he eases his grip on my arm, but as he leans in to kiss me I turn my face away. Wyatt narrows his eyes at me. “I’ve never slept with her,” he explains. “She wants to but…” he trails off.

  “But what? Because she seems very insistent,” I say, sounding jealous.

  “Never mind,” he says, then rubs a shaky hand over his face. That’s when I notice the ring on his right hand.

  “Guess I’m not the only one,” I say pointing to his finger.

  He looks down at his hand but doesn’t say anything about it. “What was that?” he asks, almost sounding bewildered.

  I shrug. “We’ve always had a very strong attraction to each other.” I’m beginning to feel uneasy and decide I should leave before I make a mess of things again.

  Wyatt has his head hung and is pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can’t do this with you, Charlie,” he says, sounding pained. “I’m barely making it as it is. I can’t deal with you wanting me one minute and then not the next. I’m not just some guy…” He starts getting upset.

  “Wyatt, you started that. Yes I could have stopped but…” I hesitate. Should I tell him that no one has touched me like that but him? “I haven’t felt that since you. It was nice to feel passion like that again.”

  He snorts. “McShane hasn’t put the moves on you?” he asks, aggravated.

  My cheeks heat with a mixture of embarrassment and irritation. “Yes, he has actually,” I lie, not wanting him to know the whole truth.

  His eyes fix on me and the look he gives me is murderous. “So you’ve had sex with that asshole?”

  “What? First of all he isn’t an asshole, Wyatt, and second, that really isn’t any of your business,” I exclaim.

  “None of my business? You’re still wearing my ring and you just told me no one’s touched you like that. I’m not into games, Charlie,” he glowers at me.

  “I said I haven’t felt that since you. That doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried to please me, it’s just that…” I pause, frustrated. “He’s not you!” I shout, then slap my hand over my mouth.

  Wyatt grabs me up in his arms again, making me gasp. “Trust me, baby, I have the same problem. They’re never you. I find it hard to be intimate with someone when all I want is someone else. All I want is you.” His mouth grazes over mine and I start to melt but stiffen.

  “Wyatt, I need to leave before this goes any further. Like you said, you don’t want to get hurt again and neither do I.”

  “Have dinner with me tonight. Please, Charlie, I’ve missed you and I just want to spend time with you. I won’t touch you again, I promise,” he says, then sets me firmly on my feet and backs away.

  I contemplate whether or not this would be a good idea, but standing with Wyatt this close to me, my mind won’t work. Sighing, “I can’t tonight, Wyatt. I’m traveling to Ireland tomorrow. I’m leaving really early and need to get back.”

  “Tomorrow night then?” he asks insistently.

  “If I’m back at a decent hour, then yes, I’ll have dinner with you.” Inside I roll my eyes at how easily I give in to this man.

  Wyatt’s smile is big and boyish. “Tomorrow it is then. I know just the place.” His enthusiasm makes me chuckle. And just like that my defenses crumble a little more.

  Riley

  I wake and stretch my sore muscles. Not having sex in so long and then having several body-shattering orgasms will make you feel like you just climbed a rocky mountain. I sit up enough to glance at the clock, seeing it’s already ten a.m. Charlie’s been gone for hours, and it’s time to drag Skylar out of bed and head down to the set to watch Miles shoot. I tried to wake when he did but with the jet lag and time change I found the task impossible.

  I take extra care to look perfect today. I want Miles proud to be seen with me. I was on the set yesterday but there weren’t a lot of people out for me to meet. Miles said I could meet the director today. Finally, spinning in the full-length mirror, I nod my approval at my outfit, tight jeans with boots, a light gray turtleneck and black leather jacket. I wish Scott were here to braid the front of my hair. The wind and I are not friends. Finally ready, I go in search of Skylar.

  I have to practically drag him out to the waiting car. He bitches and moans but eventually gives in to my pout. When we get to the set, we’re greeted by a short stocky man, who introduces himself as Miles’ personal assistant, Ryan. I shake his hand but am more anxious to see Miles all decked out in his Highlander costume. He and Wyatt are making the second movie in the Forced Romance series, which it’s about brothers in the Highlands of Scotland forced to marry to prevent war but war happens anyway. It’s a great sappy love story with lots of action and fighting.

  Ryan leads us to a breathtaking meadow full of beautiful wildflowers. I can see men performing a choreographed fight scene in the middle of the meadow. I can’t tell who’s who but it looks so real that my heart starts pounding.

  “It looks so real,” Skylar says next to me, reading my thoughts.

  “Yeah, they’re really good at what they do. They should be breaking for lunch after this,” Ryan says, scrolling through something on his phone.

  “Which one is Miles?” I ask, trying to focus in on him.

  “He and Wyatt are wearing the blue and gray plaids. The others are wearing green and navy,” Ryan says, still not looking up from his phone.

  “So in this scene it’s two against what, like ten?” Skylar asks astonished.

  “Looks that way,” Ryan says more sarcastically than I like. Skylar just scoffs at him.

  We watch for a while, then a man says over the loudspeaker, “Break for lunch, guys, great job.” The men all break apart and starting walking to where we’re standing. It only takes me a moment or two to spot Miles.

  “Holy shit,” I murmur out loud accidently. My mouth goes dry at the sight, he looks so damn hot. His chest is bared but has fake blood and dirt smeared across it, accentuating the muscles, and his almost black hair has extensions clipped in and there are two thick braids at each temple. He looks fierce. So damn sexy I need to close my mouth and suck the drool off my chin before someone sees me.

  “Hello, my beautiful woman.” Miles’ rich voice breaks my staring trance. He has a cocky smile and is watching me with his emerald green eyes.

  “Huh, oh shit. Hey baby.” Miles and Wyatt both laugh. That’s when I notice that Wyatt looks just as sexy. Charlie would kill to see him like this. Although his transformation is way more drastic, mainly because his hair looks darkened and he is wearing green contacts, but his chest is so much wider than Miles, he must have smothered little Charlie.

  “Hey, you like?” Miles asks holding his hands out wide.

  My smile must be wicked because Miles’ eyes darken and his pupils dilate. “I very much like…” I say but before Miles can reach for me, Skylar interrupts.

  “Come on, you sex fiends, I want to eat.” I smack him on the shoulder.

  “You’re one to talk, caveman,” I purse my lips and give him a bring it on stare.

  “Ladies, calm down. I want to kiss you damn bad but my face is full of make-up and fake blood.” Miles puts his lips a whisper from mine as he says it. When he pulls back I groan.

  “Hey, Wyatt, you look super-hot, too. I think I may have to go rent the first movie,” I say with a mischievous smile.

  “Well thanks. I should be pissed that you happened to leave out that Charlie was here, but it was a nice s
urprise after all.” I look at him with confusion and Skylar stiffens next to me, going on protective alert.

  “Did you tell her about all the other chicks you’re fucking?” Skylar asks bluntly. Miles makes a choking sound and Wyatt narrows his eyes at him. “That’s what I thought. In that case I think you should stay away from her, my man. We…” his finger points between the two of us, “…are the ones that have to clean up your mess afterwards.”

  Wyatt glares at Skylar for a long moment, his jaw twitching. Clearly he’s struggling to rein in his temper. “It was nice to see you, Riley. You look beautiful. I’m going to go grab some food before it’s all gone.”

  As Wyatt strides away, his back stiff with obvious annoyance and I’m sure a little hurt. I turn on Skylar. “That was really nice, Sky.”

  “I don’t give a shit if I pissed him off. Charlie tears herself up for having fun because of him, and he’s off fucking as many chicks as he can. That’s fucked up. You know what, I think I’m going to take a page from Charlie’s book and go sightseeing…alone.” Skylar spins quickly, heading back to the hotel on foot.

  Turning to watch him walk back, I sigh and sag. “Well, now what?” I ask. Miles rubs his knuckles down my back tenderly.

  “They fucked around last night,” he says softly behind me.

  “Who?” I spin back around to look at his face.

  He looks upset and a little worried. “Charlie and Wyatt. He came to me this morning and told me about it. He said things got a little out of hand but he misses her and it’s hard not to touch her. They’re going to dinner together tonight.” Miles proceeds to tell me about the entire interlude.

  “She did what?” I say aghast.

  “Yup, I think they may both end up hurt if it goes any further. I tried talking to him about it but he said spending any time with her is better than nothing.” Miles kicks a rock with his boot. “I’m afraid he believes if Charlie doesn’t find out about the other girls, then they can get back together.”

  “Right, ‘cause that’ll happen. I don’t know what to do. I’m surprised as hell. But I can’t stop her from being with him. I will talk to her though.”

  Charlie

  I have been walking around Belfast, Ireland, for hours. I’ve seen two castles, a monastery and botanical gardens. This place is everything I’d imagined it to be. The people are friendly for the most part but the scenery is breathtaking. The coastline is something out of a medieval novel with its towering rocky cliffs and castles. It was truly stunning. I wished I had someone to share the sights with. Everything seems so romantic because of its scenic beauty.

  Currently I’m sipping a very thick dark beer next to a fire in a cozy pub. I’ve eaten an early lunch and plan to walk around a little more before heading back. I want to head to a candy store before I leave to pick up some goodies for Riley. Now that she’s pregnant she’s developed quite a sweet tooth. I chuckle slightly at the thought of her face when I bring her back a big bag of candy.

  “Can I get you anything else, my dear,” the bartender’s warm brogue washes over me.

  “No thank you, I’m fine.”

  “I saw you smiling. That’s the smile of someone in love,” he says, making me frown.

  “No, not anymore, at least not for him. I was thinking about my sister, she’s having a baby,” I explain.

  He smiles at me. “Well there’s still love in that smile then.”

  “Which way to the sweet shop?” He gives me directions and I head out.

  With my bag weighed down heavily with souvenirs for everyone, I head for the ferry. The ride back to Scotland takes about two hours but I don’t mind. The trip is long but the boat is enjoyable – the gentle rocking of the waves and the lulling sounds of the ocean. As my mind drifts, I remember last night with Wyatt and the memory makes my body tingle. When he kissed me I thought it was a mistake. Then when it turned into something much more passionate, I wanted to stop to pull away and leave but I couldn’t. I wanted him. No…I needed him more than I’ve needed anything else in my life.

  When I returned to my hotel last night I immediately called Scott and told him what I did. He didn’t judge but I was reminded I had a good man waiting for me when I got back. Ian’s been great, patient and kind. He’s engaging and attentive, but the spark is missing. When I met Wyatt there was burning heat and even though he hurt me by having sex with those other girls the very first night we met, I still couldn’t deny our natural passion. There’s something primal about our need for each other. That’s missing with Ian. And to be honest, I’m afraid. I know I’ve been putting on a good show for everyone, claiming I’m almost back to normal but the truth is I’m not and probably will never be that girl again. The thought of being with another man makes me almost physically ill. The innocent fooling around I’ve done with Ian leaves a deep sour burn in the pit of my stomach. Not because it’s Ian but because it’s anyone. But that’s not true either. Last night in Wyatt’s arms my body sang out to him. I felt the way I used to with him. There’s just something about him that sets my soul at ease.

  “Um, miss, we’ve arrived at port,” a young man says, drawing my attention back to the present.

  “Oh my, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize we’d stopped,” I say breathlessly. Quickly I exit the ferry and call a cab to take me back to the hotel.

  When I get in I’m greeted by a scowling Riley. I wonder what’s gotten into her now. “Hey girlie, guess what I’ve got for you?” I say tauntingly, then pull out the bag of assorted goodies.

  Her mood visibly lightens and she smiles. “Is all of that for me?” I nod my head. “Give it, and get your butt inside. We need to talk.”

  Unlocking my door I push my way into my room, toss my stuff on the chair and sit waiting for her to start ranting about something. “Who’s in trouble now?” I ask placatingly.

  She narrows her eyes at me. “Did you see Wyatt last night?” she barks. My stark expression must’ve answered her question. “That’s what I thought. And are you planning on having dinner with him tonight?”

  “Why does any of this matter, Riley?” I ask, affronted by her accusatory tone. “We need to talk and get closure. You were the one pushing this. I’m not sure why you’re getting upset with me about it.”

  “And jacking him off is closure?” she says snidely.

  My mouth pops open at her crude comment. I breathe deeply for long moments before responding. “I think it’s time for you to go, Riley. I need to shower.”

  “Charlie, you’re doing so much better. I won’t be able to take it if you go back to the way you were before.” The pleading in her voice hints at her sincerity.

  “Riley, what do you want me to say? I didn’t intend for things to happen like that. Things got a little out of hand last night but that isn’t going to happen again. Now really, I need to shower and change,” I say, exasperated and a little annoyed that Wyatt would tell her everything that happened last night.

  After I get Riley shooed from my room, it takes me almost an hour to get all of the tangles washed and brushed out from my hair. Long hair and a very windy, wet climate don’t seem to mix too well. I try to choose my outfit carefully. I need something warm but not frumpy. I want Wyatt to know what he’s missing. I decide on a pair of knee-high riding boots, tights and a long cream-color sweater dress. Even though it’s only the end of summer, the evenings here in Scotland can get quite cold.

  I sit on the edge of my bed waiting for Wyatt. My mind wanders and I start to feel guilty. Ian and I could possibly have something, right? My mind wants me to want to be with him but my heart wants only one man. The man my body and heart need. When he’s near me I can’t seem to control my hunger for him. For example last night in his trailer despite my several attempts to leave, all Wyatt had to do was ask for me to stay and I did. It took everything for me to decline his dinner request, thank heavens I did actually need to be up early. Hopefully the fact I was up so early can be my excuse to leave if I need to tonight. I’ve worrie
d my lips to the point of them being swollen when he finally knocks on my door.

  Wyatt

  I pace back and forth outside Charlie’s room for what feels like an eternity before I finally gather enough courage to knock. Part of me feels like we should just stay away from each other. If we really don’t think we can be together right now, then why tempt things by spending time together? Because she tasted better than any woman ever has. I groan at the memory. My hope is this could possibly be our reconciliation. As long as she doesn’t find out about the sex with other women. I’ve spent quite a few nights with Gillian and others but none of them come close to last night in the trailer with Charlie, and we didn’t even have sex. I need to pull myself together. I told her I wouldn’t touch her again. I just need to keep to that.

  Finally I knock on her door. It takes a few minutes for her to answer but when she does the sight of her knocks all of the air right out of my lungs. It’s completely unfair how perfect she is. I can feel my whole damn body ignite with desire, just from her smile. Christ, how in the hell am I going to make it through the night without touching her? She stands completely still, staring at me for a while. Then she notices the watch and necklace that I’m wearing and smiles.

  After she left last night, I stared at the wrapped boxes for hours contemplating whether or not I was going to open them or just throw them away. I decided to open them first, then figure out if I was going to keep them. The first was the Monaco Tag Heuer watch I looked at in a store in Vegas one day. I was shocked she remembered and that she would or could fork out that kind of cash. It’s an eighty-seven hundred dollar watch. On the back it was engraved, To my Wyatt, I love you, C. My heart clenched when I read it. The next box had a simple men’s chain with two platinum dog tags on it. One was engraved with a scripture: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 Love, C. The other tag was an engraved picture of her and Deputy. I sat and cried, holding the two in my hands.