by Becca Siller
Shaking my head, I try not to blurt the words out that are threatening to choke me. “Nothing, it was perfect,” I manage to push out.
He chuckles against my neck, nuzzling me sweetly. “I agree, you are perfect.” He shifts and pulls out, tossing the condom towards the trash. When he rolls over, he pulls me up against his chest.
We lie there cuddling for a while, then Wyatt growls. “What?” I ask, laughing at his expression.
“I have to…uh…take a leak,” he says, making a sour face.
I laugh hard, pushing him out of the bed. He stumbles briefly then walks his gloriously naked body into the bathroom. Still laughing, I sit up searching for my phone. I see a screen light up on the TV stand and crawl over to reach it. Nothing could prepare me for what I saw on Wyatt’s phone. Twelve messages from Gillian. The girl Riley told me Wyatt was seeing. I know I have no business reading his messages but the one that flashed on the screen said something about “Is this how you treat your girlfriend?”
Reading in reverse chronological order:
Gillian: Wyatt is this really what you’re doing? You’re going to ignore me? Is this how you think a girlfriend should be treated?
Gillian: Wyatt, what the hell are you doing? Call me!
Gillian: Hello
Gillian: Wyatt, hello. Are you ignoring me?
Scroll down to earlier messages.
Gillian: Hey baby did you get my messages yesterday?
Gillian: I miss you and your hot body. Sex last night was amazing.
Gillian: Hey baby, I miss you. I was thinking about you. Mmmm damn now I’m all wet.
Wrapping my robe around me I slump onto the bed, pinching the bridge of my nose. How could I have been so stupid?
Wyatt
“I think I can maybe go another round,” I say arrogantly as I stride from the bathroom. I freeze in my tracks when I see Charlie sitting slumped on the edge of the bed. “Charlie, baby, are you ok?”
She holds out my phone. “Just get out” is all she says, her voice even and flat.
I walk up and see that my phone is open to Gillian’s messages. “Are you reading my messages?” I ask, outraged she would snoop like that. I’m also pissed because I’m sure she knows all about Gillian. No more hiding it.
“It doesn’t matter, just get out.” She stands facing me. Her skin is pale and her eyes are dark and haunted with hurt and anguish.
“She doesn’t mean anything, Charlie,” I try to explain.
Charlie laughs but it sounds harsh and cold. “I know how that feels.”
I glare at her with real anger. “That’s bullshit. What the fuck do you want from me, Charlie? This is who I am. I’ve never had an emotional relationship until you. If I told her I loved her then I would understand you feeling betrayed, but it’s just sex!”
“Like this was. Now get out of my room and out of my life. I knew this was going to happen. I knew I was going to get hurt. I’ve never been enough for you, Wyatt. Please just go.” She sounds so hurt and wounded. I feel like vomiting.
“Of course you’re enough. Charlie, I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again. I don’t have feelings for her. I imagine you when I’m with her…” I try explaining but I can see it’s too late.
“I’m going to shower. I don’t want you in here when I come out.” She walks around and sets something on the TV stand by my wallet. The bathroom door’s soft snick sounds like a cannon going off in the quiet room. I walk to the bathroom door and lean against it. I can hear Charlie’s soft sobs coming from just beyond the bathroom door.
Angry and hurt, I quickly grab up my clothes, pulling them on hastily when I look up to see what she set on the TV stand. Her ring…
Riley
What the fuck is that noise? Crap, it’s my phone. I look at the clock and notice it’s six a.m. Scotland time. Who’s calling me? Miles rumbles a protest beside me when I untangle my body from his to retrieve it. We had another exhaustive night of sex, which works out because I think it’s like only ten p.m. Portland time. Normally I would barely be going to bed. Eventually I find my phone and see it’s Charlie.
I start to worry that maybe she had another nightmare. “Hello,” I say groggily.
“Sorry I woke you, Ry, I just wanted you to know I’m flying back to Portland.” Charlie’s voice sounds raw and agonized.
“What? When?” I ask, clicking the light on. Miles shoves a pillow over his face.
“I can’t be here. My flight leaves this morning. I love you and hope you enjoy the rest of your vacation.” Charlie hangs up the phone. I vault from the bed.
“That fucking bastard!” I shout. Miles drags the pillow away from his face and looks at me.
“Wyatt?” he asks but I barely hear him past the string of curses leaving my lips. I drag on a pair of sweats and head out the door. A moment later Miles is on my heels. I can hear him on his phone but I’m not paying any attention.
“Charlie, open up,” I pound on her door hard. Charlie opens the door. Her eyes are red and swollen from crying and her skin is very pale. “Jesus, Charlie, what the fuck happened?”
Charlie sobs out a story about her and Wyatt having this wonderful night together, how she thought they were going to work it out. They slept together but then she saw a text on his phone from a girl and decided to open them. The rest is all incoherent bawling. I turn to look at Miles, who looks murderous. “Gillian?” he asks softly.
“Yes, why, were there others?” Charlie sobs out. Miles looks away, then suddenly Wyatt bursts through the door. How did he get here so fast? I wonder to myself.
“Oh hell no, you are not getting near her, you’ve done enough,” I say, standing between Charlie and Wyatt.
Charlie’s phone rings. She gives a shaky “Hello.” She closes her eyes and her lip quivers. “I’m sorry it’s late…I’m coming home…my flight lands at two p.m. your time.” There is a long pause. “Ian,” Charlie sobs. I wrap her in my arms for a reassuring hug, then take the phone from her as she heads into the bathroom.
“Ian?” I ask.
“Riley, what the fuck is going on?” Ian’s voice is harsh but determined.
“I don’t know everything but can you pick her up from the airport?” I ask him. I won’t tell him the details, that’s Charlie’s story to tell.
“Of course I will, I just need to know she’s okay.” His concern makes me smile.
Then I lock eyes with Wyatt. Speaking again to Ian, I direct, “You’ll have to stay with her, I don’t want her alone.” Wyatt clenches his jaw. Ian agrees and I hang up. Charlie stumbles out of the bathroom. “Ian will pick you up from the airport. Do you want us to fly back with you?” I ask, tenderly pushing her hair out of her face. She shakes her head, gathering the rest of her things.
“Charlie, talk to me, baby. We can talk about this. I told you I thought we were done,” Wyatt explains. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Wyatt. I cried every time I had fun with Ian, every time I was eaten up with guilt. When I saw you I needed to be with you, but I also thought I was the last woman you’d been with. I never expected you to jump into bed with someone else.” Wyatt starts to talk but Charlie holds up her hand, halting his excuses. “Is that what I should expect from you? When you’re mad, you fuck another woman?”
“Women.” I correct, then clap my hand over my mouth realizing I said it out loud. Miles closes his eyes, and Wyatt shakes his head with regret.
“What? How many have there been?” Charlie asks, her voice has strength in it from her anger.
“It doesn’t matter. What matters is what we shared in that bed last night. You and I are meant to be together, Charlie.”
“How many Wyatt?” Charlie yells making me jump and start to tear up. Charlie rarely yells.
I give Miles a pleading look. She won’t survive this if he tells her the truth. “Charlie, please, think about this. I know you’re mad,” Miles tries but Charlie isn’t listening.
&
nbsp; “Tell me right now, damn it! I deserve the fucking truth, Wyatt. Clearly you were able to omit the truth at dinner last night, I want it now.” Her voice has chilled to arctic ice.
“I’m not sure, maybe six or seven,” Wyatt says on a sigh.
Charlie’s eyes go wide and desolate, “Six or seven…” she pauses, trying to grasp what he’s done to her. “Wyatt!”
“I was pissed when I saw you kissing that bastard McShane. I reacted, I’m fucking sorry. I was trying to show you…”
“Well, mission accomplished, you showed me, Wyatt. Déjà vu, huh?” Charlie snaps.
“I love you, Charlie, I can’t live without you. I need you, I need you, I need you…I can’t lose you again,” Wyatt begs, reaching for her. Charlie recoils in disgust.
“You should’ve thought about that before you fucked all those other women. Clearly I wasn’t at the front of your every waking thought like you were for me. I never want to see you again, Wyatt.” The last words come out choked, making Wyatt flinch like she hit him.
“Ms. McElroy, your car is here,” the concierge breaks in from the open doorway.
Charlie doesn’t speak again, just walks past us, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Wyatt drops to his knees, putting his head in his hands.
When Charlie is gone from the hotel, I can’t keep my temper restrained any longer. “You’ve got to be the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever met,” I start.
“Riley,” Miles warns.
“No, let her finish, Miles. I’m sure she’s going to tell me all about how I fucked up. Well guess what, Riley, I know. I know I’m an idiot. I’m the worst kind of guy and I don’t deserve her, right?” Wyatt stands to face me.
“That girl deserves a man who loves her and only her. His body and soul belong to her and her alone. Did she tell you anything about what Tony did to her?” I ask and Wyatt nods his head. “And you still chose to lie.”
“I thought we were over.” Wyatt says, raising his voice. Miles takes a step toward him.
“She’d been beaten, tortured and raped for three fucking days, Wyatt. She was seriously messed up in the head. You never even gave her a chance. As soon as she said boo, you ran like a little bitch. She was frightened and had no idea what to do. The smart thing would’ve been to keep trying but you gave up and did exactly what you wanted to do. No one made you put your dick in those girls. You did that.” My heart is pounding so hard in my chest I think it might explode, but someone needs to get through to Wyatt. He’s been blaming Charlie for all of this when all she needed was a little time.
“I don’t know anything else, Riley,” Wyatt says, sounding ashamed. Miles’ shoulders slump and he looks at Wyatt with sympathy.
“I’m afraid excuses aren’t going to fix things with that girl. I love you, Wyatt, and I wanted things to work out with you two. But Charlie deserves a man, not a boy that fucks around on her or with her.” Wyatt looks at me with such hurt in his eyes that I start to tear up. My anger has left me. My confrontation with Wyatt has me feeling raw and vulnerable.
“Let me know when she makes it home safely,” Wyatt chokes out, leaving the room with tears in his eyes
Charlie
The flight back to Portland feels like the tragic ending in one of those chick flicks. I wear sunglasses and a hooded sweatshirt the entire time trying to hide my agony. My heart feels like it was flayed open and someone poured rubbing alcohol into it. The aching burning in my chest is almost more than I can take, and I feel like I’m gasping for air but there’s no relief. I can’t believe I was so stupid to assume Wyatt wouldn’t have sex with other women, I was only kidding myself. When Wyatt left a month ago, I thought it was bad but I think combined with everything else, I was more numb and disconnected. Now I can feel every shattering splinter of my heart. The last hour of the flight the person sitting across from me tries to start a conversation but I just put in my ear buds in a clear gesture.
The moment we land I rush out of the plane searching frantically for Ian. The moment I see him I run into his arms. He wraps me tightly to his warm chest. I silently cry into him while he strokes my hair and shushes me with soothing sounds. After the initial breakdown he helps me get my bag and takes me to his car.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” my voice is hoarse and unsteady.
“You’re fine, I’m glad you’re home,” Ian says calmly. He propels the car out of the structure with ease and is on the highway in no time.
Ian takes my hand when I accidentally let a sob escape my lips. But he doesn’t say anything or ask any questions. I appreciate that more than he knows. When we get to my house I’m eager to get in and crumple onto my bed. I’m shocked to see Ian follow in with his bag as well as mine.
“What’s that for?” I ask, motioning to his bag.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. I don’t want you to be alone here,” Ian says as he puts my bags in my room and then places his in the main bathroom.
I watch him make a fresh pitcher of lemonade, then plop on the couch with a full glass. “I think I’m ah…” I pause for a moment staring at my knotted fingers.
“Maybe a hot shower will help you unwind,” he responds with a relaxed smile. I give him a quick nod, then head for my bathroom.
I let the hot water wash away as much of my hurt as I can. I close my eyes and remember my last night with Wyatt. The water gliding down my skin is his mouth, hot and inviting. The way he caressed my skin with reverence and love, and how his eyes burned with adoration. Was any of it real? When he held me, buried deep inside me, pressing our bodies so tightly together he and I ended and began together. Did he feel it too? The shower is where I cry out the last of my tears for Wyatt Grayson. I stay in there until the water runs cold. Ian doesn’t disturb me, just lets me be.
After I dress I dry my hair and climb onto the couch next to Ian. He wraps his arm around me and we watch TV in silence. I don’t cry anymore but I do doze off until my phone rings, well what I think is my phone. I hear Ian answer, “Hello,” trying to whisper. “Yeah, she’s ok. She fell asleep.” He pauses and I feel his fingers sift through my hair. “I will, don’t worry, Riley. I’ll have her call you when she wakes.” He hangs up and sighs heavily.
I stay still for a long time after Riley calls, enjoying the silence. I know I need to explain things to Ian. He deserves to know what I did. The thought of confessing to this great man that I slept with Wyatt when I haven’t even tried to sleep with him makes my eyes start to water again. Slowly I stretch and sit up.
“Hey, beautiful, did you get some good rest?” he asks sweetly. I scoot back away from him, making him frown. “Charlie?”
“I have to tell you…” I swallow hard but it feels like glass in my throat. Ian hands me his glass of lemonade. “I slept with Wyatt,” I blurt out. My hands fly to my mouth, holding in my cries.
“I figured as much,” Ian responds, rubbing his palms on his pants.
“What?” I ask unsteadily.
“I’d hoped it wouldn’t happen but considered it when you went and when you didn’t call me back after you went to dinner with him. Charlie, I’m thirty-five, I know how things happen.” He rubs his hand over his face.
“You seem fine with it.” His posture hasn’t changed and he’s still sitting here with me.
“I assure you…I’m not. But there isn’t anything to be done about it now.” He snorts, leaning forward. “Look, Charlie, I like you. I’m not going to lie, I’ve wanted you since the day I came over here and saw you in that tiny little bikini. Then, I was there for your rescue. I thought you wouldn’t want me and Olivia around because we were too much of a reminder of that time. It hurt me to see you like that, worse than I’d like to admit.” Tears track down my cheeks at his honesty. “I didn’t and don’t expect us to fall in love and run off into the sunset but when I saw you I thought…now that girl is a fighter. She knows life isn’t a fairytale. Then at the hospital you wrapped your arms around me...” Ian shakes his head, stands and w
alks to the door.
“Where are you going?” I ask, surprised at his sudden shift.
“I need some air. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He sounds gruff and agitated.
I step in front of him, placing my hand on his chest. “Ian, I’m so, so sorry. I made a huge mistake going to Scotland. I should’ve stayed here…” I pause and make him look at me. “I’m sorry.”
“So do you want to tell me what happened?” he comes closer and gently runs his fingertips down my bare arms, making me shiver.
“We um…well you know. Anyway I heard a phone,” I tell him the whole story, even the part about the morning I left. At the end of the story he‘s still gently stroking my arms but his eyes are murderous and his jaw is clenched so tightly I think he might break teeth.
Ian heaves a sigh and pulls me close to him. “I’m really sorry. I know you were worried about seeing him with someone. Somehow it ended up worse than that. Is there anything I can do?” he asks genuinely.
“Only what you are already doing. I really don’t deserve you, Ian.” I nuzzle his chest. His heated scent is comforting and reassuring. “I’m such an idiot to think he would continue to stay faithful to me. I always knew I wasn’t enough to keep him.”
“Hey,” Ian pulls me back to look into my eyes. “You’re an amazing woman. He doesn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you. Shit, I don’t know anyone good enough for you.” I laugh slightly. Ian flicks my hair over my shoulders, making it cascade down my back. “Now, Livy’s going to come over for a while.”
“What? Why?” I ask, panicked. “Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back by dinner,” he replies softly, still stroking my hair.
“But why? I don’t want you to go, Ian… please.” My eyes widen and I can feel tears threatening again.
Ian puffs out a long breath and looks slightly distraught. “I know you’re here now, but I just need a little time to work through it.”