by Cat Porter
An arm came around my waist, pulling me away. I flinched back into a hard wall of muscle.
“Whoa! What’s going on?” Boner’s deep voice reverberated through my back, his warm arm pressing into my middle. That intoxicating Boner brew of earthy spice and motor oil embraced me along with the heat of his body.
“Rudeness is what’s going on,” I said. He pulled me to his side.
Boner aimed his don’t-fuck-with-me face at Nina. “I’m taking Jill into Rapid to hit the mall. You want to come along?”
What?
Nina shifted her weight. “Is there a salon in that mall?”
“Two in fact,” I replied.
Boner jerked his head to the side. “Get your shit and meet us at my truck in the yard. Three minutes.”
Nina flounced off.
I turned to Boner. “Why did you do that?”
“What? Stop the bitch battle?” he said.
“No, invite her.”
“You might not like her, but you gotta play nice with the new old lady. She doesn’t know her way around yet, and she needs to make a friend. Might relax her tight little ass.”
“You like her tight little ass?” Tania asked, her hands on her hips.
“No, I don’t. And, thankfully, it ain’t my ass to like.”
Tania and I laughed.
Boner stared at us. “Are you two done?”
“Fine, fine, you’re right.” I let out an exhale. “I know what it’s like to be the new old lady. She doesn’t like it out here very much though. South Dakota must be a shock after Ohio.”
“Right, ’cause the Buckeye State is such a fuckin’ paradise.” Boner’s lips pressed together as his gaze followed Nina and her tight little ass striding toward the clubhouse. “She’ll get used to it.”
“I WOULD’VE GONE TO Lenore’s lingerie shop in town, but she’s a little too expensive for me right now. After the baby’s born and I lose the extra weight, I’m going to treat myself there.”
Every time I was in Boner’s presence, I’d ramble. Then, I’d try to explain my rambling, which only led to more rambling. And now I was rambling about stupid bras. Gah!
We’d dropped Nina off at the first beauty salon we passed at the mall. Boner had tagged along with me to the maternity store where I found a couple of pairs of shorts and a new pair of jeans. Now, I needed to find bras, and there was only one place to go that had a wide selection of styles, fabrics, and sizes.
Boner’s long, shiny dark hair swung as he tracked through the displays and tables at Victoria’s Secret, hands shoved in his pockets. I was dazzled by the colorful and flashy displays of undies and nighties and lingerie and makeup and perfume bottles. Happy overstimulation to the extreme. I needed to get out more.
Boner made a strange growly noise that got stuck in the back of his throat.
I grinned. “What is it?” As if I didn’t know.
His eyes flashed. “What the hell do you think? Why couldn’t you do this shit with Nina?”
“She’s doing her thing at the salon—hair, mani, pedi, the works. You could’ve just dropped me off, you know. You didn’t have to tag along. I’m not going to get lost, for Pete’s sake. There’s a bench right outside the store. Go sit down. I’ll be out in fifteen minutes. I promise.”
He shot me a what-planet-are-you-from look. “I’m not leaving you on your own.”
A shiver raced through me from the base of my spine, all the way up my neck, like it did whenever he said those protective declaratory remarks in that insistent tone. But, of course, he said those things because the baby I was carrying was the source of any fascination he had with me. I had to stop assuming that his concern, those intense looks, were about anything else or anything more.
“Fine. Suit yourself.”
I grabbed a delicate peach-colored lace demi bra and thong panty set from a display rack and held it against my body.
So pretty. If only…
I turned to face Boner. “What do you think?”
A look of pain flashed across his face. He narrowed his eyes as if the lingerie gave off a glare that was as harsh and bright as direct sunlight.
I walked toward him slowly. “Well?”
His gaze traveled the length of my body from the bra against my chest and down my torso before settling on the delicate panty. His teeth scraped his bottom lip, and heat stabbed my insides.
He shook his head and glared at me.
I leaned in closer to him. “You okay, Boner?” I whispered.
His eyes held mine. Those eyes.
I liked any opportunity I had to spend time with him. He was always in the back of my mind. When I changed Becca’s diaper, I thought about Boner. When I took a shower in the morning, I thought about Boner. I waited for Rae in the doctor’s office, and instead of seeing the images I was scrolling through on my Instagram feed (which included many tatted, bearded hotties), I would see those incredible green eyes, that dark face.
“Buy it, and let’s go,” he said, his voice even, controlled, low.
Those hard green eyes shot their lasers at my lips, and my pulse spiked.
“I’m just kidding, Boner. Bad joke. Sorry. Unfortunately, this isn’t what I came here for. I came here for something totally utilitarian—a bigger bra to fit these growing boobers.”
His gaze dived to my chest again, and then he swung away from me.
What is wrong with me? Why do I keep provoking him?
I dropped the peach set onto the nearest stand and charged toward the smooth form-fitting support bras in the next room. I plucked three bras a size larger than my normal 34C off the display table.
“I’m going to try these on,” I mumbled as I gestured toward the fitting rooms at the back of the store.
He only nodded and folded his arms.
There was no salesgirl around, and I went right in to an open dressing room and closed the door behind me. I tore off my T-shirt and unhooked my bra. I put the straps of the new bra through my arms, hooking it at my back, and then I leaned over the way my mama had taught me, fitting my girls in their place. I rose up and adjusted the cups again as I looked in the mirror.
I tugged on the straps, on the sides of the cups. “Shoot, still small.”
I made a face at myself in the mirror as my fingers worked the tiny metal hooks. “Come on. Shit!”
My ringtone went off. “Great.” I grabbed my bag and fished out my phone.
“Hello?”
“Jill?” Nina’s voice squawked over the line.
“Nina?”
“Listen, I decided to get highlights. So, I’m gonna be another forty-five minutes at least, okay? Will Boner be pissed?”
“That’s fine. I’ll let him know.” My hands went behind my back to jimmy the hook once more.
“You should get over here. They’re having a special deal on—”
“I can’t right now, Nina. Bye!” I dropped the phone and twisted the bra some more.
“Damn it!”
Snap.
I groaned loudly as the pressure on my breasts finally gave way. My arms eased as the bra popped open, and I tore it off me. “Finally.”
The door flew open. “You okay?”
Boner stared at me, those tourmaline eyes taking me in.
All of me.
We stared at each other.
His gaze fell to my bare breasts, and my skin flared with heat.
That now familiar pained expression passed over his dark features. “Jill—”
My insides pulsed at the sound of his rough, raspy voice.
I covered myself with my hands, still holding the bra.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he breathed. He stood there in the bright pink dressing room, perfectly still, his lips parted.
I could change everything now. Right here, I could veer us off the safe track we’d been on all this time. Sidestepping, smiling politely, laughing at each other’s jokes, the lingering glances, heavy looks, and then drifting away, always the drifting away.
&nb
sp; I could do this.
My pulse raced as I reached out, taking one of his large hands in mine and putting it over my breast. His heat soaked right through my flesh. His calloused fingers and the coolness of his silver rings on my enflamed skin made my breath audibly snag.
“What are you doing?” His voice was a rough whisper.
“I like you.”
“I like you, too, Jill.”
My heartbeat stumbled over itself, and I pressed my hand over his. “Good.”
“Don’t make this harder than it is, sweetheart.”
“It doesn’t have to be hard, does it?” I took a step closer to him. “Not when it feels this good.”
My other hand latched on to his black T-shirt, and I pulled him in to me, the door closing behind him. “Do you like how it feels?”
His answer was a groan, his hand flexing over my breast, his thumb moving, stroking.
“We’ve been dancing around each other for a while now,” I said.
“I like looking out for you.” His jaw stiffened as his fingers whispered over my delicate skin, his thumb brushing over my nipple. “For the baby.”
My fingers traced over his hand. “Is this about the baby?”
A muscle pulsed along his jaw, his head tilted. “You’re carrying my little niece or nephew in there. Gotta keep you both safe.”
His hand gently kneaded my breast, and liquid heat flooded my chest as my knees weakened.
“I like that about you.” My hands clung to his taut sides.
He moved, his lips hovering over mine.
Yes.
My breath stalled as a brush of warmth fell against my lips, skin against skin, a light and gentle press. He paused to look at me, and I reached up and kissed him back, opening my mouth to him, my tongue slowly stroking his, beckoning.
I shamelessly arched my back, begging for more, offering him more.
He pulled away from me. “Christ.” He cupped both my breasts and took a nipple in his mouth, gently licking, nuzzling. My head sank back against the wall.
“Yes, yes, yes,” I chanted, my skin on fire.
He sucked on the other nipple, his teeth grazing the pebbled point. My pelvis pressed against his. His tongue lashed lazily in between my breasts.
Such a long tongue.
He licked me to a slow death, sending me to his own private underworld.
My knees quivered. “Boner!”
He leaned lower, and a squeak escaped my throat as his tongue found my navel and flicked at my piercing. My nipples hardened even more, if that were possible, and one of his hands palmed me again, roughly this time. He planted kisses all along my belly, and my breath stuttered at the sight. My hips involuntarily twisted toward him, my insides pulsing. Wild need coursed through me.
Use me, take me, drag me to your secret lair.
He rose up, and his teeth grazed the underside of a curve.
I let out a loud gasp.
“We okay in there?” rang out the loud voice of the salesgirl.
My body jolted in his hold, my breath throttled in my lungs. Boner’s eyes shot to mine.
My hand flew against the door. “I’m good. Thanks! Be out in a bit!”
“You sure you don’t need anything?” she asked beyond the door.
Boner’s eyes pierced mine.
Fuck yes, I need, and I’m being taken care of.
“No, no, I’m fine. I’ll let you know.”
“All righty!” Her footfalls faded over the carpet of the small aisle.
I lunged at Boner, kissing him, smashing my aching bare breasts against his hard chest. He dug his fingers into my hair and deepened the kiss, once more pushing me back against the thin wall, which shuddered.
“Jill…Jill…” he groaned.
I buried my face in his throat and laid kisses against his warm skin. That musky, earthy scent overtook me, a hint of mellow spice and pepper and something else, something almost sweet. I moaned like an untamed creature in his arms. My fingers finally made contact with his smooth skin under his T-shirt. I let out a sigh at the muscles moving at my touch. My fingertips skidded over a long grooved scar indented along his torso. He let out a deep growl and stilled.
His fingers gripped my jaw. “This can’t happen,” he breathed against my swollen lips.
“What? Why?”
His eyes flashed. “It can’t.”
My heartbeat screeched to a halt and teetered on a thin wire. Oh. Mindy.
How the hell could I have forgotten about his current girlfriend or whatever she was? Shit. Shit. Shit.
I was throwing myself at a taken man. I used to complain about women like me.
Ugh.
I wanted to melt through the floor. “I’m sorry.” I wiped my hands over my hot face.
He stood up straight and stepped back, putting distance between us.
“Jesus, you have nothing to be sorry about.” He took in a deep breath, his hands on his hips. “Get dressed. Buy whatever the hell you need to buy, and do it fast ’cause I need a cigarette.” He scooped up my old bra from the floor and handed it to me. “You need money?”
A chill raced over my skin. I grabbed the bra and put it back on without letting go of his gaze or turning around. His face tightened into thin angles at the sight.
“No, I have money.”
He charged out of the dressing room, and I threw on my shirt.
At the display, I quickly snatched up two bras a size larger than the one I had tried on and a couple of colorful panties. I raced toward the cashier where, luckily, there was no line. Boner waited for me by the exit, and we left the store.
I released a breath, my fingers twisting around the handles of my shopping bags. Underwear shopping would never again be the same for me.
Boner slung an arm around my neck and pulled me close, taking the shopping bags from me. “We okay?”
There was that intriguing earthy scent threatening my grip on sanity. There was that protective older brother type of affection again. But this time, that affection was laced with heat that was specific, real, not a fantasy on my part, not a girlish wish.
“Yes, sure. Of course,” I blurted. The warm metallic scent of his leather vest made my stomach curl. I’d had that Bonerworld wrapped around me, been inside it, for a brief moment.
Shouldn’t I be embarrassed by all this?
I’d put his hands on my naked breasts, inviting him to touch me. I’d done that, but he’d stopped it.
My insides tumbled.
No, I wasn’t embarrassed, only disappointed.
Because I want more from him.
That exquisite pleasure had come on like a freight train. I hadn’t felt that sort of intensity in God knows how long, if ever. It was deep, huge, blasting.
That tongue, his mouth—he knew how to use them.
His touch, so simple—gentle one moment, intense the next—was everything.
Maybe it was so very exciting because we had been in a public place, and it had been unexpected. Pregnancy hormones had obviously not helped me out there.
Who am I kidding?
I was nuts for him and had been for a long time. Yes, I liked that he cared about me and looked out for me, but I was insanely attracted to him and intrigued by him, too.
I glanced at Boner. He was looking down, his expression almost…sad.
Why?
All of this wouldn’t be figured out over a cig break at the mall, that was for sure. Our friendship was very important to me though, and I needed to make sure I wouldn’t lose my friend.
I pressed my lips together and slid an arm around his waist. “We’re good.”
His face relaxed, and he planted a kiss on the top of my head. We strolled in the direction of the nearest exit, his one arm hanging off my shoulder.
He smoked in silence on the edge of a bench by a sand-filled canister while I sat on the bench opposite of him and chewed on a piece of gum. Boner scanned the parking lot as he exhaled a long stream of smoke. I squeezed my th
ighs together, grinding on my gum, but it did no good. The ache in my chest and the throb between my legs remained.
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Boner was extremely private. I suspected only Grace had his complete trust, judging by the easy way they were together—the knowing looks they shared and the natural physical affection they showed each other, like a simple touch on the arm, a squeeze of the hand, a quick kiss on the cheek. It was nice, and I liked that about them, their bond, like a real loving brother and sister who were there for each other.
He had a left-of-center dry sense of humor that I really enjoyed. He was smart. He saw odd twists that others didn’t see or notice. But there was always an underlying thread of severity, a guarded severity that he seemed to reserve just for me. I reminded him of his best friend’s horrible death; there seemed to be no getting past that.
After I had gone through with the surrogacy pregnancy for Grace and gotten pregnant with her and Lock’s baby, Boner had looked at me with new eyes. This wasn’t the wariness and cool suspicion of when I had first arrived from Nebraska. This was something new. Something that resonated in the depths of my soul.
Was it admiration? Respect?
Whatever it was, it sent a ripple of warmth through me every time.
It’s about the baby, what you’re doing for his best friends.
He was attracted to me as well though. The madness in the dressing room had just confirmed that. And it was good madness, electric and fiery good. Slow burn combustion.
I crossed my legs and stretched my back in an effort to release the tension in my chest and my too-tight bra.
No use.
My boobs would never be the same.
Ten minutes later, I chewed on a second stick of gum, and Boner was on another two pieces as we strode back down the mall to meet Nina. At the salon, we found her paying the cashier.
She sauntered over to us, her face beaming. “You like it? I look good, right?” She stroked her long mane, thick waves of golden honey. Her nails were painted a dark berry color with tiny skulls applied on the thumbs and shimmery stars on her fingernails. She had a fresh coat of pink lip gloss coating her lips.
“You look great,” I said, suddenly feeling like the harried housewife. I needed a makeover and quick.
“What’s wrong with you?” Nina made a face, as if she’d spotted a huge spider crawling on me. “Your chest is all blotchy.”