“How long?” Derrick asked, praying it was quick. Every time she winced, he wanted to punch something.
“Maybe a couple of days,” Kadin replied.
“What? I thought Chance healed in a day.”
“Baby sister is younger than Chance. The older we are, the faster we heal.”
“Yeah, Kadin can mend in hours. Lucky bastard.” Halee winced while her brother placed the splint.
“Can’t you give her something for the pain?”
“Doesn’t work on us.” Kadin finished wrapping the gauze. “She’s going to have to suck it up like a big girl.”
“If I didn’t hurt, I’d kick you right now,” she hissed.
“Taylor, take my sassy sister home. We’ve got things under control here. Use my truck, I’ll get it later.” Kadin lifted Halee. “And you saw nothing that happened in there,” he lowered his voice.
“Chief, there was too much fire and smoke in there to see a damn thing.” He followed Kadin to the truck where Kadin set Halee in the passenger seat.
“Good man.” Kadin slapped him on the back then walked away.
With Derrick’s panic finally settled, the realization that he could have lost Halee tonight slammed into him like a freight train. What if her brothers had decided not to break their law? What if they hadn’t been here? When he slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut, he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles ached.
“Are you okay?” She reached over and touched his arm.
He gave a half-hearted laugh. “I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“I know your past Derrick, and you look a worse wreck than I probably do.”
He finally got the nerve to look at her. “I don’t know if I should kiss the hell out of you or put you over my knee. Don’t do that to me, darlin’. I can’t breathe without you.” How had he gotten in so deep? There was no way to deny it now. His heart had known it, but it had taken time for his stubborn brain to stop denying it. He had fallen in love with this woman.
19
After helping Halee get changed, Derrick got her into bed and propped several pillows behind her. Her body was already trying to heal the break, which was more painful than the actual injury. Derrick had been quiet except for the occasional question. She knew he was struggling right now.
“What can I get you?”
“Nothing. I’m good right now.”
He gave a nod. “Okay, I’m going to––” the doorbell rang and then a familiar voice.
“Halee?” Gaelen called.
Derrick walked to the doorway. “Back here.”
Gaelen stepped into view and the two men stared at each other. Unspoken words passed between them until her brother finally broke the silence. “Glad you’re here, Taylor.” He held up a duffle bag. “I grabbed this from your truck. Figured you might need it.”
“Thanks. It would be nice to shower and change. You plan to be here awhile?”
“Go. I’ll take care of Halee.”
“Thanks.” Derrick took the bag then turned to Halee. “I’ll use the guest room.” Then he was gone.
Gaelen grabbed a chair from the corner and placed it next to the bed. “How’s he doing?”
She crossed her arms. “Really? You’re going to ask about him and not me?”
He laughed. “I know how you are. You hurt like a bitch right now, but you are one of the strongest women I know. Your man however, he looks like prey before it runs for its life.”
Halee had never told anyone about Derrick’s past, but she needed someone to talk to. She and Gaelen had always been close. “Please don’t ever share this.” Then she launched into the demons Derrick faced. After several minutes, Gaelen scrubbed a large hand down his face.
“Kadin and I sensed there was something haunting him.”
“I don’t know what to do to help him. This accident scared him.”
“Do you love him?”
“I do.”
Gaelen scratched the scruff on his jaw. “Does he love you?”
“I think so.”
“He hasn’t told you?”
“He has eluded, but no.” She winced as pain sliced through her leg.
“Sometimes a man doesn’t know what he has until he has it no more. We’re dumb that way.”
She tried to stifle a laugh, but it snuck out anyway. “Ow.”
“Sorry. I know I always told you to hold out for love, but maybe Derrick isn’t the one. If he can’t fight for you, then he doesn’t deserve you.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Let me know if you need anything.” He rose and walked out of the room.
Derrick finished his shower and slipped on a pair of jeans. The hot water hadn’t helped him relax one bit. His mind kept replaying the fire burning around Halee and all the scenarios that could have happened. He knew he shouldn’t dwell on what ifs, but his brain simply wouldn’t let go. He pulled on a tee as he walked down the hall. Gaelen came from her room, and the two of them walked to the front door together.
Gaelen grabbed the handle but changed his mind and faced Derrick. “I’m not one to pry into my sister’s life. Whatever is between you is your business.” He straightened. “I gotta tell you though, you going after her wasn’t a man rescuing one of his own. No, you were a man fighting to save the woman he loves. If you can’t come to terms with your demons, then you will lose her if you haven’t already.” He placed a hand on Derrick’s shoulder. “People we love come and go. It’s what we choose to do while they are here with us that matters.” Then he walked out the door.
Derrick had to fight the panic that threatened to drown him, but he knew Gaelen was right. He turned and headed to Halee’s room where he found her still propped up, sweat beaded across her forehead.
He rushed to her side, taking extra care as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Baby, what can I do to help?” If he could take her pain, he would in a heartbeat.
“I want to thank you for coming after me.”
He tried to smile, but his heart wasn’t in it. “It’s what we do, darlin’.”
“Not that you were fighting for me to survive? Derrick, be honest with me. Promise?”
“Promise.”
“What are you fighting for right now? Tell me what’s going on in your head. I feel like there is a wall between us right now.”
“You need to rest and stop worrying about me.”
“I can’t. Not until I know what’s going to happen with us. I know damn well tonight scared you. We need to talk about it.”
“I don’t want to discuss it.” Not yet at least. His emotions were still too raw.
“Fight or flight. You don’t look like one who wants to fight. You want to run away, don’t you?”
She was going to push this conversation, so he forced himself to look into her eyes. “Yes. Is that what you want to hear from me? I want to walk away and forget I ever knew you.” Hurt passed through her eyes, but damn it she had asked for his honesty. He dug his fingers into his hair then jumped off the bed. Pacing, he wondered if this was what a caged animal felt like.
“If I don’t care about you, then you might stay safe.”
“That’s crazy talk.”
“Is it? Then explain why I’m always left alone.” He stopped mid-stride. Waited for her reply.
“Sometimes shit just happens. It has nothing to do with who we love or what we’ve done in our lives.”
“You and I are not the same, Halee. You’re one of them. Special, and deserve better than me.”
“Them? The fact that I’m a shifter hasn’t been an issue for you until now. You’re grasping for any excuse to bail.” She picked at the blanket. “I love you, but I think the best thing for both of us right now is for you to leave.”
“But you––”
She held up her hand. “I called Bella and she’s on her way.” She took in a ragged breath. “I thought I could do this. I told myself I could make you happy, and I would be content with whatever you could gi
ve. I was sure you would eventually come around. If you don’t believe we can have a future...” Her bottom lip trembled, and a tear slid down her cheek before she looked away.
“Then I guess we can’t. It’s best we part ways before we hurt each other anymore. Go ahead, Derrick Taylor. I’m giving you permission to run.”
Words clogged his throat. This was what honesty got him? Yeah, he had wanted to run, but he had no plans to do so. Then why hadn’t he told her that? Was a part of him trying to sabotage this relationship?
Fuck it.
He turned and stormed down the hall and to the front door, where he nearly knocked Bella over. He didn’t say a word as he made his exit. He was going to run, just as she had told him to do.
“Halee, Derrick just about knocked me over on his way out the door. You two have a fight?”
“No fight. I told him to get out.”
Creases marked Bella’s forehead. “Why did you do that if you two aren’t fighting?”
“He can’t do it. He can’t tell me he loves me. He as much as admitted tonight the accident made him want to leave, so I gave him his way out.”
Bella plopped in the chair Gaelen had left by the bed. “Huh, cuz Kadin told me what Derrick said to you earlier, and while he might not have chosen the words you wanted, they were pretty damn clear.”
Halee was already irritated and her sister’s cryptic code wasn’t helping her humor any. “What are you talking about?”
“You know Kadin’s hearing is better than a damn dog. He overheard the conversation between you and Derrick in the truck. Where Derrick––and I quote–– said, ‘I don’t know if I should kiss the hell out of you or put you over my knee. Don’t do that to me, darlin’. I can’t breathe without you.’”
Was she being unreasonable? They were just words so why should she let them get between her and Derrick? “He admitted he wanted to walk away and forget he ever met me. He tried to use my being different as an excuse as well. He was looking for a reason to end this, so I gave him one.”
“Wow. I’ve never known you to give up so easily.”
Her heart was shattered right now. She had wanted to stop Derrick. Beg him not to leave, but it was the best thing for both of them. “If he really does love me then he will face his demons. He will fight for us to be together, and I will know that it’s because it is what he truly wants. It’s the only way he can ever learn how to deal with his fear of loss and for us to move on. Together.”
Bella shook her head. “What if you drove him away?”
“Then I’ve lost the man I love with all my heart.”
Derrick picked up his phone for the thousandth time to make sure it was working. Still no text. Not even a missed call. How could Halee say she loved him yet toss him out like yesterday’s trash? He would never understand women. It had been two days since the accident. Forty-eight hours that had felt like a lifetime.
He dressed and headed out the door. Halfway across town, his phone dinged. He nearly broke the speed limit getting to the station, so he could read the message. He prayed it was Halee. When he finally parked, he grabbed his phone and swiped the screen.
Not Halee, but still a surprise. It was a message from Sarah Davis.
Derrick. Nice to hear from you. We need to talk, please call me when you can.
He texted back. Hey Sarah. I’m on shift, but I’ll call you tomorrow.
Perfect. I can’t wait to hear from you.
He shoved open the truck door and crossed the parking lot. He wasn’t sure what he would say, or how he would react when he saw Halee. He would have to take it one step at a time. Inside, he went to his locker where he found Chance.
“Hey, bro. I heard about what happened. Sorry.”
“Is she here yet?”
“No. She requested a transfer to the other shift.”
He stopped short. Seemed now she was running away from him. He hadn’t known what would happen when he saw her. Now that he wouldn’t, the thought cut him even deeper. He missed her so much his heart ached.
“Probably for the best.”
Chance shut his locker and stepped next to Derrick. “You two belong together.”
“This coming from Mr. one and done?” Chance never stuck with the same woman. Wasn’t his style, he’d often said.
“We’re talking about you here, not me.”
He finished shoving his things into his locker.
“She looks miserable. The unhappiest I’ve ever seen her. Pretty much how you look right now.”
Derrick closed the locker. “Yeah, well she’s the one who told me to leave. She gave up on me, not the other way around.” He stormed off before he totally lost it and punched a fist into something. Bathrooms needed cleaning, and today, it would be a good release for his anger.
Several hours later, the guys sat around their living area. It had been a quiet day with only two calls for paramedics, not that he would complain. With all his chores behind him, he decided to call Sarah. It was still early, and he could use a friendly voice. At least he hoped that was why she had reached out.
He pulled up her text and dialed her number. She picked up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sarah. It’s Derrick.”
“Derrick. It’s so nice to hear your voice.”
He opened the door and stepped outside. “I wasn’t sure you would even read my letter.”
“I’ve missed you. Often wondered how you were doing. Listen, I’m here in Kirkwood.”
“What?”
“Yes. I had to come see you in person.”
Shit. He hadn’t expected that, but now he couldn’t wait to see her. “There’s a diner in town. I get off at seven, meet me for breakfast?”
“I’ll be there. I can’t wait to see you.”
He ended the call. Hopeful he was finally going to put his past to rest.
20
“Thanks for coming to breakfast with me.” Halee took a sip of coffee.
“I don’t know why the rest of the crew didn’t come,” Bella replied.
Halee laughed. “They wanted to get you out of the kitchen?”
“Ha, ha. My cooking isn’t that...” Her words drifted off as she looked over Halee’s shoulder.
“What is it?” Halee turned and watched Derrick walk in and greet a gorgeous blonde who had risen from a booth on the other side of the diner. Their embrace spoke volumes.
“That didn’t take him long,” she whispered and tried to shove the hurt that ripped her heart to shreds into the recess of her mind. Her dragon wanted to come out and claim him as her own. Claw out the other woman’s eyes, but she had been the one to push him away. He had never really cared about her if he could replace her so fast.
“Sister, you don’t know that he’s replaced you. He kissed her on the cheek. That tells me she doesn’t hold a candle to you.”
Bella always knew how to make her feel better. “You’re right. I’m acting foolish.”
“Well, I’m glad you finally see it. You have been miserable since he left and from what I hear, he isn’t faring much better.”
“Really?”
Bella rolled her eyes. “Why the hell don’t you just talk to him?”
She stared at the table but glanced across the room. Derrick was talking to the woman, but his gaze was on Halee. She wanted to push to her feet, instead she bit her lip and forced herself to stay put. They both needed time. If she went running back to him now, what message would it send?
That things between us are ok. That she was willing to accept whatever he would offer. It was tempting because she missed him so much. However, she was worth more than that. If she was what he really wanted, then he would find a way to make this work. He would stand by her side, and they would face things together. No more running.
“I can’t, Bella. As much as my heart wants me to, he has to want this more.”
Her sister sighed. “I get it, but God you two are irritating as all hell. You really ready t
o let him go?”
No. No, she wanted to shout to the rafters. “If he doesn’t come on his own free will, then he was never really mine.”
Her sister banged her head on the back of the bench. “Lord, help us all.”
Derrick hadn’t noticed Halee at first. He’d been focused on Sarah, but when he hugged Sarah, he spotted her. It was all he could do to keep his feet from walking over to her. Instead he reminded himself he was here to see an old friend.
“Sarah, you look great. How are the kids?”
Hope came over and took their order. She gave Derrick a funny look but said nothing. When she was gone, Sarah replied.
“The kids are doing good. They miss their dad of course, but each day is easier.”
He worked his jaw. Trying to release all the tension rolled up inside him. “What about you?”
She looked around then back at him. “That’s her, isn’t it? You keep looking over there.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to introduce us?”
Hope came with their food and more coffee. Before she could slip away, Derrick grabbed her hand and pushed a twenty into her palm. “Take care of the check and keep the rest.”
“Sure thing.”
“I fucked up, Sarah.” He pushed food around his plate, no longer hungry. “I let my fears run my life instead of the other way around.” He glanced at Halee. “That woman over there means the world to me, and I let her go without a fight. Something I plan to rectify very soon.”
Derrick picked at his food until Sarah finished her french toast. “Want to get out of here? There’s a park close by, we can go for a walk.”
“That sounds wonderful.” She slid out of her seat and Derrick took her hand, heading for the door. They walked down the sidewalk in silence until he turned on the path to the park. It was early and a weekday, so they had the place pretty much to themselves. After a few minutes, Sarah walked over to a bench and sat.
“You asked how I am?
“Yes.” He fell in beside her.
“I had some really bad days. Horrible days and the thoughts that rolled around in my head make me ashamed. I did wonder why Jeremy had been taken from us while you were still here. There were days I hated you. I didn’t hate that you lived.” A tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. It crushed him.
Rescue Me (Sparks Of Desire Book 2) Page 14