“This isn’t right,” I whispered.
Though the motor was loud, Kale could hear me. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed. He leaned closer placing his lips against my ear. “It isn’t your fault. It’s mine; I should have never let Alex come with us.”
Alex wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. He would have bargained his way onto this trip, and if that didn’t work, he would have threatened Kale.
“I don’t know how to make losing him up to you, Ella. I wish I could give you your life back, but I can’t. I can only protect you from here on out.”
“Could you have changed him?”
“No, I couldn’t have, Ella.”
“Was it too late when you got there?”
Kale pulled back and lowered his head.
I put my hand under his chin and lifted it slightly so that I could look in his eyes. “Kale did you let Alex die? Could you have saved him by changing him?” My voice was low and demanded the truth. We’d been through this before, and I wouldn’t accept a lie no matter how damaging the truth would be.
Chapter 27
Kale
I’d lied to Ella before. I hadn’t told her that I’d followed her for two years before we’d met, I hadn’t told her that I knew about her stay in Ocean Trace long before she’d told me about it herself, and I’d kept the fact that I was Chorý from her longer than I should have. All of those lies would now pale in comparison to the one that I was about to tell her. I would never create another monster like myself, no matter the cost.
Even if it meant that Ella would never speak to me again—that she took her love and gave it to someone else—I would never in my eternal existence on this earth infect a human. In the beginning, I had changed humans while feeding off them, but other Chorý taught me that if I only used my eyeteeth to puncture the skin and then allowed the blood to escape the vein, I could not spread the disease. I didn’t save Alex, but I didn’t change him either.
“Kale?” Ella’s voice was soft and patient, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to handle the truth of what happened to Alex, so once again I lied to her.
Not only did I lie, but I broke the promise I’d made her.
“Yes, Ella. Alex was dead when I got to him, so I couldn’t change him. I’m sorry.”
Ella’s eyes filled with tears, and she leaned into me and quietly mourned the loss of her best friend. I moved her hair out of the way and placed a gentle kiss on her warm neck. I hadn’t felt the hunger stir inside me since I had drained Laurent, but her skin and the warm blood that flowed below smelled so sweet. Her shoulders trembled as she cried for her childhood friend.
This girl deserved so much more than she was given, and the realization that I could never give it to her angered me. I truly wished that I could have changed things for her, that I could have made them better, but it was what she was that placed her here, and that was something that I couldn’t change. But part of me rejoiced. Even if I couldn’t defeat la Luxure on my own, Ella would still be safe from Laurent, and that was all that mattered.
She put her arms around me, and I pulled her into my lap and let her cry. I wanted to soothe her, but I hadn’t forgotten what she’d yelled at Jace.
I asked, “Where is everyone?”
Jace looked at me after disconnecting his call to Servitto. “They want us to wait at the Jeeps for them. They are finishing off the last few Chorý now.”
The choppy water rocked Ella in my arms. Her breathing slowed as she moved closer to sleep, and I wrapped my arms tighter around her, hoping to keep the cold air off of her.
Jace moved away from the door and sat down on the bench across from us.
“About what Ella said earlier…” He glanced at her clinging to me. “It’s not like she said.”
Not wanting to upset Ella, I didn’t answer until after I was sure that she’d fallen asleep. “And how is it? Are you saying that you didn’t kill her parents?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying, but that doesn’t mean that I am completely without blame. I knew what was going to happen, and I did nothing. I followed the orders to find her after the deed was already done.”
“What the hell are you saying?” I asked.
“We’re here. You guys go ahead, and I will go back with Jimmy and make sure that everyone gets back.” Jace stood.
“You’ll pay for whatever you have done to her, Jace. I hope you understand that.”
Jace glanced back at us over his shoulder. “I know, Chorý. Even if it isn’t you that deals the punishment, I know that we all must be held accountable for our sins. When the time comes, will you be ready to explain to her that you have lied to her once again?”
While Jace was on the phone with Servitto, he’d heard my conversation with Ella and learned the truth about what had actually happened to Alex.
“Of all people, I know what it is to pay for mistakes made, and I am ready to do just that when the time comes.” I looked down at Ella, who had fallen asleep in my arms.
“She’ll hate you for it,” Jace added. “She’ll never want to see you again. This may be the last time she allows you to even be this close to her. Can you accept that as punishment?”
“If I must.”
“Hah.” Jace turned and faced me. “You have followed her throughout time, sacrificed your life and soul for her, and you are telling me that you would just walk away once she tells you she wants you gone? I don’t believe it.”
He didn’t need to. I had done all those things for her safety, and I would do even more for her happiness, even if it meant I’d never see her again. I had tried to protect her for so long without her knowing of my existence. She deserved a normal life, and I couldn’t offer that.
“Yeah, I know—I know, my opinion means nothing to you.” Jace laughed as he headed to the front of the boat. He was right. I had done and sacrificed a lot for Ella, but she had made it clear that she wouldn’t accept dishonesty.
***
After Ella and I got off the boat and into the car, the car ride to the jet was quiet, but I could hear her breathing, each inhale and exhale more ragged than the last. Tears fell down her face, tracing the paths of the previous ones until they made it to her bruised chin and puddled in her lap.
I couldn’t take my eyes off her, the ghost of the girl she was before. She wasn’t the same, and I’d known that would be the case, but it hurt to see her so broken. What did she find out that made her react to Jace the way she did, say the words she said, and then retreat into her own little world?
Ella’s heart-shaped lips sat in a grim line on her face. They were swollen from a small cut.
Once she woke up on the boat, she’d told me of the Chorý that had landed on top of her and Alex. I winced. I’d heard her scream and froze, unable to run to her. Fury twisted through my gut as I imagined her pinned to the frozen ground; the beast purred, waking from its slumber.
Ella wrung her red, chafed hands in her lap. I wanted to reach over and touch her hand, to soothe her, but I didn’t dare. I had no right to console her, touch her, or hold her.
All the things she needed, and I couldn’t give them to her. I needed to put distance between us now, so that later when Deek and I were gone, it would be easier for her to cope.
Holding her earlier had felt so good and so right, but the truth of what happened to Alex was still fresh in my mind. The lies and betrayals would soon come to the surface, and I wouldn’t be able to make this right with a few apologies. Ana, Deek, and the Council members were the only ones who knew the truth, and it ate me up inside, so much so that the beast within me had woken.
I needed the blood of my master, but Laurent was dead. I looked away from the girl I’d chased throughout time, the girl whose lips tasted so sweet their flavor was forever burned in my memory, the girl I would walk away from forever if I couldn’t beat la Luxure.
What I wanted from her was unrealistic, and I knew it long before I’d found her. Her life was her own, and the only way to share eternity w
ith her would be to infect her, change her from the beautiful person that she was to a cold shell of a human that would kill and destroy as I had, centuries before.
I looked over to her again. Her tears had yet to stop falling. We exited the Jeep and walked over to the jet. Ella’s hair blew around her face in dirty tangles. She didn’t reach up to move the hair from her eyes and face. She only stared straight ahead, her expression blank. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I stared, wondering if things could have been different.
“I don’t want them with us when they come,” Ella murmured.
“Who?”
“The Council. I don’t want any of them on this jet with me. I just want to go home—to your home, I mean. I don’t know how I will explain where I’ve been to the Carlsons.” Ella shook her head and whispered, “And I don’t know how I am supposed to tell them that their son is dead.”
I pulled her close again, ignoring the beast as it purred with pleasure. “Don’t worry about that, right now. You can stay in the cottage until we figure out how to get you back home again.” Ella nodded, and made sure that she was safely inside the jet. From Big Tusk to Chote was ten minutes by boat, followed by a fifteen-minute Jeep ride to where the jet had landed.
Ella and I sat in the jet. I watched the color return to her cheeks. Her body relaxed against the cushioned seats, and she’d finally stopped crying.
The thirty-minute wait for the rest of the group seemed like forever, but when I heard the Jeeps pull up, I headed outside to tell Jace and the others that Ella wanted nothing to do with them.
“Hey, man. She okay?” Deek was the first to greet me as he jumped from the Jeep and headed in my direction.
“As well as can be expected. Deek, she doesn’t want any of the Council on the plane with her, and she wants to stay with me for a while until we get her story together.”
“Sounds reasonable, but what about the Council?” Deek looked behind him to see that Jace and Servitto had ended their discussion and were headed in our direction. Before they made it over, Deek leaned in close to speak to me. “Jace knew all along that Ella would act this way when we arrived, but I don’t think the other two did.”
Deacon left the circle and climbed into the jet with Ella. I could hear him introducing himself to her. That left me to go to the Council members and telling them the jet that they had provided us with was off-limits to them, at the demand of the person that they had risked themselves to save. I hoped that Jace would help me defuse the reactions of his fellow colleagues.
“I’m assuming that she is still really pissed at us.” Jace eyed Ella from afar.
I looked back in time to see her cold gaze on the group of Immortals. I cringed, thankful that the stare was not directed at me. I approached the group, amazed that they let me, since they knew that Laurent was dead and they no longer needed me.
“She’d like it if you three found a different way home,” I explained again as I looked into the eyes of each of them, searching for the anger that was sure to follow.
“Are you telling me that we can’t fly home in our own damned jet?” Tamsin’s voice dripped with annoyance. Maybe someone would say that I had turned her against them and threatened to make me pay.
“We need to get home, as well,” Servitto stated. “Have the pilot return for us.” I wasn’t surprised that Servitto accepted Ella’s wishes. Jace moved toward the jet to inform the pilot of the flight plan changes, while Tamsin and Servitto moved away from me to have a private conversation of their own.
I headed into the jet and sat beside Ella. I couldn’t wait to be home and settled in to deal with the next set of problems that awaited us.
Chapter 28
Ella
Three days later
I woke up and rolled over to find Kale gone. For the past three days, Kale had lain with me until I’d fallen asleep. The nightmares had gotten worse, and he had always been there when I woke up, but not today.
“Hey, you’re up.” His warm voice sounded from the other side of the room. I turned over to face him. Kale sat in the corner in a pair of gray sweat pants and gray flannel T-shirt.
“What time is it?”
“A little after noon.” Kale stood up and sat on the bed beside me. “There’s someone here that wants to see you.”
I sat up abruptly. “Who?”
“Mia,” Kale answered.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to see anyone yet, Kale.” I lay back down and pulled the covers over my head.
Kale pulled the covers back and kissed my forehead. “Ella, you can’t stay in my bed forever. As much as I love the fact that you are here and safe, you are going to have to face her and everyone else.”
“‘Everyone else’ meaning Jace and the Council?” I asked.
“No, I mean that sooner or later, you are going to have to see the Carlsons.” Kale scooted closer and got under the covers with me. He pulled me into his arms and placed his chin on top of my head. “Mia knows that Alex didn’t make it back, and she needs someone to talk to as well. You can be that someone for her.”
I snuggled closer to Kale and draped my arms over him. “You mean because I know what it’s like to lose someone?”
“No, all of us have lost someone—me, Deek, Jace, and now Mia—but you are the only one she wants to speak to.” Kale kissed the top of my head.
“Yeah, I’m sure she blames me for Alex’s death.”
Kale pulled my face up to meet his and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. “Stop that. I’ve already told you that no one blames you. We all knew what we were doing when we left to find you Ella.” He shifted onto his back and pulled me flush to his side.
“What if I never want to go back?” I asked. “What if you and I ran away together and I never came back to Virginia?”
Kale sighed. “You wouldn’t want to live with that regret, Ella. Trust me.”
“Whatever.”
“No ‘whatever’ about it. Trust me, it’s a burden you don’t want to bear.” Kale patted my back and started to get up. I pulled him back down, pleased that he let me. He fell lightly back onto the bed and then rolled over, holding himself over me.
“This is very inappropriate, Kale,” I said with a smile. With his own sly grin, Kale lifted himself all the way up and stood beside the bed. He held his hand out to me.
“Come on. Get up.” I took his hand and let him lead me to the bathroom. Once Kale left, I showered, brushed my teeth, and changed into some of the clothes that Kale had purchased for me.
I went to the door, placed my hand on the doorknob, and then took a deep breath. Once I went out there, there would be no going back into the room and covering my head. Revealing the truth would start here; first with Mia, and then with Sarah and Eric, but after that was a mystery. Where would Kale and I stand?
He said that running away wouldn’t solve my problems, and he was right, but if I spoke to Sarah and Eric, then stayed with them through the hard part of losing a loved one, could Kale and I then disappear? Mia would still be left behind, and there was still the small fact that I was not an immortal. Asking the Council to change me seemed no longer an option.
I couldn’t trust them, but Kale hated what he was and would never turn me into a Chorý. I knew my only option was becoming immortal through the Council, but I needed a plan.
First, I needed to deal with Mia. She wasn’t going to take Alex’s death well, even though she hadn’t known him long. Anyone he’d ever met instantly fell in love with his boyish smiles, goofy grin, and sleepy eyes.
I wiped the tears from my eyes, opened the door, headed for the living room, where I could hear Kale’s friend Deacon speaking on his phone.
Deacon saw me and hung up. “Hey, you’re finally up.”
He stood up. Over the past few days, when I actually left the bedroom, Deacon was there. I liked “Deek,” as Kale called him, and I found that the big guy was like a huge teddy bear. He was always attentive to my needs and had the same distaste for Jac
e as I did.
“How you feeling? Are you hungry? I can cook if you want.” Deacon headed toward the kitchen. He had been cooking for me, and I had to admit that I enjoyed seeing what he would come up with.
“Yes, please. Can you make enough for Mia, too?” I didn’t see her in the kitchen or sitting area.
Kale answered my unasked question. “She’s outside with Jace at the moment.”
“Hmm, with Jace?” I ignored the urge to roll my eyes. Kale and I hadn’t yet talked about what the Council had done to my parents, but I think he knew something. “How did she take the news?”
“She took it better than I thought she would. She told me that she and Alex had had a conversation before he’d left, and he’d explained to her that he might not come back, but I still think she is going to need you. She may not know how to deal with all this, and you, unfortunately, do.” Kale had dressed in his usual black and was sitting in the window by the fireplace.
I went to stand beside him and allowed the fire to warm me. He was right; there were a few things that needed to be straightened out before I confronted Jace, and I believed that it would be easier with Kale by my side.
“It’s good that she took it well.” I finger-combed my hair and pulled it into a ponytail. I pushed away thoughts of my unfortunate experiences with death, because that brought thoughts of my parents and the growing hate I had for Jace and the rest of the Council.
And thoughts of Alex. I’d cried for him so much and so hard over the past three days that my head pounded and my eyes burned, but being close to Kale made it a bit better. We had passed the hurdle of Laurent. That made things better in my mind. Even though Kale refused to tell me what happened to Laurent, I knew that he had handled it, and we could move on.
I placed my hand in Kale’s to get his full attention. His hands were cool and so big that they engulfed mine. “I have a question for you.”
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