by SJ Molloy
“He is absolutely flaming hot, Lex. Hot-hot-hot! A definite keeper,” Sam says. I smile, sliding the ring on my finger.
“How cute is it that he is so close with his baby sister? Far too sexy,” Jessica adds.
“Right, dish the dirt. Is the sex as hot as hell?” Sam asks.
Oh my God!
“They are at it like bloody rabbits,” Hazel blurts out. They all start giggling.
“Swiftly moving on,” I say, blushing, trying to distract them as I feel the heat from my burning cheeks.
“So what’s the deal with the wrist?” Sam challenges, picking up my hand running her finger over the scar then she tsks and shakes her head.
I bite the inside of my lip and hold the back of my other hand against my mouth as I move my fingers up and down. “Nothing to tell. We’d been drinking, and I fell and fractured it.”
Narrowing her eyes she protests. “Bullshit. You’re lying, I can tell. We love you, and love that you’re happy, but I think you’re hiding something.” Sam’s not letting this go, and although I’m annoyed and don’t want to divulge anything, I’m also glad they’re concerned about my welfare.
“I told you, it was an accident. Lucca was holding me, and I was wriggling. He was drunk and tripped over a sun lounger cushion and dropped me.”
Yelling.
Running.
Collapsing.
“Oh, is that why he was looking guilty and continually rubbing your wrist?” Her facial tension relaxes and she seems to accept that by softening the glossiness in her eyes. The others nod and smile sympathetically in understanding.
“Yes, he feels awful about it. Now let me tell you about all the sightseeing we did!” Steering away from what could have been an awkward conversation, I tell the girls about the farmhouse, Lucca’s grandparents’ villa, and about his parents’ villa. I tell them about Florence and the exquisite hotel we stayed in, and they love to hear about The Luminara Candle Parade, the opera and the fairy-tale garden on the night he proposed.
Then I tell them about the white silk journal he has given me, and all the romantic writing he has scrolled inside of it.
Lucy sighs. “Oh my God, he can’t be real. He sounds too perfect and such a romantic.”
Breakthrough! Lucy has finally found her voice this morning.
Twirling a curl of my hair, I smile so much that my cheeks are sore but drop my face when I see Lucy is glum, maybe over the Cameron-Anna escapade. I would love her to find some happiness, some love, and to have a little male attention and romance of her own.
“He does sound exceptionally romantic,” Jess adds.
I can’t help my sigh. “He is. He’s very loving and attentive. He is romantic and an amazing chef, and considerate, and generous, and caring.”
And a sex God.
An hour later, Cameron and Lucca return just as the girls are leaving.
“Are you planning on having an engagement party?” Jess directs to both Lucca and me.
“It’s not really my thing, I don’t want any fuss,” I mumble, unsure of Lucca’s intentions.
“We need to talk about it, but whatever Lexi wants is fine by me. It might be nice to have something small to commemorate it, Doc. What do you think?” Lucca asks, searching my face for approval.
I shrug. “Maybe we can have a small intimate meal or something,” I say impulsively on the spot. Lucca’s appeased. His eyes are all twinkly, clear blue and loving. Very loving.
“We’ll look forward to it,” Carrie says.
I kiss them all, hugging them goodbye. Lucca begins carrying the boxes upstairs as Cameron slouches on the sofa, hanging one leg over the side with an arm stretched across the back of the sofa.
“What’s your plan for today?” I ask Cameron.
“I might go back to bed, and I have a song to finish that I’ve been working on, then I’m playing seven asides with the lads later.”
“Lucca, can you come with me? There is someone I want you to meet.” I throw my studded, suede sandals on and shout for Doris. Lucca holds my hand, and I pick up the gift bag before taking him next door to meet Mr. Carlin. I let myself in and smile when I see him sitting in his chair in the lounge.
“Oh, not that bloody dog again. I thought I’d get some peace now that you’re back,” Mr. Carlin grumbles. Doris has flown upstairs with his slipper, whipping her tail on the banister, and I can’t help but giggle. She’ll be off to find something she can chew no doubt.
Mr. Carlin stands up when he sees Lucca. He shuffles about, mumbling and straightening his tie, then puts his thumb under his suspenders and straightens his spine.
“Mr. Carlin, I’d like you to meet Lucca Caruso, my fiancé.” I smile.
“Well, son, get in here so I can meet you properly and evaluate you,” Mr. Carlin says.
Lucca looks stunned by his abrupt manner, but he walks over and shakes Mr. Carlin’s hand. “I have heard wonderful things about you, Mr. Carlin. It is an honour to finally meet you.”
Mr. Carlin eyes him up first then fixes his glare straight into Lucca’s eyes, quietly studying them for a few moments. “You have kind eyes, son. You’re doing well so far,” he says diplomatically.
“Thank you, I think,” Lucca says, shrugging his shoulder.
I walk over and give Mr. Carlin a huge hug. Usually, I rub his arm with my hand in gesture, or I pat him on the back, so he’s surprised by the affection I’m showing him.
“So you’ve decided to take a leaf out of Hazel’s book and spread your wings. I’m glad. It’s about bloody time, lassie. It isn’t healthy keeping all those insecurities in,” he mentions.
“Why is that blooming heating on at maximum? I’m cold, but even I feel sweltered in here. Honestly, you’re going to fall into a coma with that heating up so high. No wonder you sleep as much.” I moan and then storm into the kitchen in a stupor to turn it down.
“Lexi, you’re only back two minutes, lassie, and you’ve started that bossy nonsense. I need the heat. Don’t have as much body fat anymore to keep me warm, and you’ll put me in a coma before anything else, young lady.”
“Lucca, sit down and talk to Mr. Carlin,” I say, ignoring his comment. “I’m just going to check his fridge and the mail.” I check the fridge and notice he has prepared meals in the frozen compartment. “Where did you get the meals from?” I ask.
“Hazel made them up. That girl is not as bad as I thought. She’s not as good a cook as you are, Lexi, but she definitely learned a few things over there.” He pings his suspenders, insinuating he’s put on a few pounds in weight.
Another massive thank you that I owe her. I know her meals will be healthy ones because she’s a nutritionist, and I could bet my life it’s all the Swiss chocolates he’s eating that’s putting added weight on him.
“So, how are you getting on with the home help Lucca arranged for you?” I ask.
“Which one?” he replies.
“What do you mean which one?” I chide while Lucca quietly chuckles.
“Well, the first one, Fiona, she never bloody talked. I’m bored enough, so I was not having that. Then the second, Terry, kept moving my whiskey to the top cupboard and treated me like a geriatric. Now I have Julie. She’s nice, very bonnie girl and tells me her grandfather goes to chess club in the village, but she can’t cook worth a monkey.” He cleans his spectacles with a handkerchief.
I glance at Lucca and roll my eyes. “Told you he was insufferable.”
“Lexi, I have ears and can still hear.” He harrumphs and rolls his eyes then taps the side of his ears reminding me they are in good working order.
I shake my head. “I wanted to let you know that I’m moving into Lucca’s house, but I’ll still be over to check on you every day.”
“Aye, I know. Cameron told me. As long as you know what you’re doing, lassie. I know you wouldn’t make an irrational decision off the cuff unless you felt safe and content. You must be something special, son, to gain her trust so quickly. Just don’t abu
se it.” He glares at Lucca with a beady eye.
“Lucca wants to ask Grandpa properly if he can … you know … marry me …” I trail off.
“There, it’s back, the hesitation and uncertainty. Lexi, you need to face these fears and stop worrying. You’re provoking anxiety with these thoughts. You were happy until you mentioned up North,” he glowers. Mr. Carlin knows my family and knows how challenging it can be for me, especially when Mum is sick.
“Lexi, look at me. It will be fine. You will be fine. A promise is a promise, right?” Lucca says compassionately with a steady tone. When I look into his eyes, I can’t help but smile and reach for his hand.
“There is my girl.” His tone is soft and loving as he rubs his fingers over my diamond ring.
Mr. Carlin starts coughing, breaking our moment. “Well, if I hadn’t witnessed it, I wouldn’t believe it. Looks as if you have found your light, lassie, right there in your fiancé. You’re going to be just fine. Can I retire now?”
I giggle. He can be so warm and loving when he’s not grumpy or moaning. “No way. You told me you need to keep your brain active, so I’m keeping you on your toes. I’ll lift something out of the freezer for your dinner, and if you’re lucky, you might get some of Lucca’s home cooked meals sent over. He’s very good at cooking, better than I am.”
I hand him the gift bag, and his sagged, wrinkled eyelids rise. “There is a bottle of Macallan Fine Oak 18, and a new flask that I had engraved. I also got you some chocolate truffles, a new belt, and a shirt.”
“You’re a sweet wee lassie, and Eleanor would be so proud of you. Thank you, sweetheart. Perhaps I’ll wear it to this chess club in the village,” he adds, looking in the gift bag. He shakes his head when he sees Doris tearing into the daily newspaper. “Oh, I give up. I hope you’re taking her with you,” he complains as I pick up the shredded paper and tell Doris off for being naughty.
Leaving Lucca to chat with Mr. Carlin, I lift his meal out the freezer and make him tea. After saying our goodbyes, we head home and spend hours packing my things, only stopping to grab a quick sandwich at lunchtime. I slump back on the bed, absolutely exhausted after such a busy weekend and travelling last night.
“Are you ready to go? I will make us some dinner,” Lucca suggests.
Yawning and stretching, I nod. “I can’t get up. I’m so tired.”
Lucca leans over and kisses my lips, then trails his fingers up the inside of my sun-kissed legs and under my miniskirt to cup my sex, giving me a tease of what will come tonight.
Giggling, I say, “Okay, point made, Mr. Caruso. I’m getting up, but I will expect lots of TLC.”
“Oh, you will get more than that. Trust me.”
Chapter 2
The Tour
Grabbing my mail and keys from the kitchen, I stop in slow motion and feel a nervous, rippling rush cascading down my body, making me a little weak and tingly.
I never thought I’d leave here, and especially not with a man. I thought Hazel, Cameron, and I would live together indefinitely. In my own little world I hoped we would, even though deep down I anticipated that Hazel would move on when she marries Dominic. Yet here I am, taking flight and fleeing the nest.
My stomach knots and I feel a little queasy with apprehension. I actually can’t quite comprehend that this is, in fact, real and happening. It wasn’t long ago that I was an independent woman with rules, boundaries, trust issues, and a whole lot of mental files, and now the direction of my life has changed completely. In theory talking about living with Lucca was so much easier when we were in holiday bliss, but now it’s actually happening, I find it a little overwhelming.
That’s what love is doing to me, confusing me with an array of new uncontrollable feelings I can barely contain.
My new love.
Our love.
The love.
Consumes.
Encases.
Covets.
My needy body and mind.
Love refills my gasping lungs to allow me to breathe. Love lifts my wings to allow me to soar and fly higher towards the light. Love nourishes, protects, and cherishes my inner vulnerability. Love is teaching me to be resilient.
Love is Lucca.
I know I’m making the right decision loving and trusting Lucca, but it doesn’t avert me from my nostalgic notions. Opening the back door, I sit on the back step and look at the small green lawn with the little gnomes dotted about that Eleanor and Mr. Carlin helped me with after a day trip to the Clydeside Garden Centre.
Every time I’m in this garden, I think of Eleanor and part of me feels as if she is present and it makes me wonder if I will still have the spiritual feeling of having Eleanor close to me after I leave here.
This very step is where I broke down emotionally after one of my sessions with Casey, and Eleanor showed me comfort. It was the first time I allowed myself to cry as an adult after holding my tears back for so many years. Eleanor encouraged me to let it all out and helped me feel, and for that I will always be indebted to her. I can picture her standing right there in the empty spot next to me with her lemon blouse and apron on.
Doris bangs through the door, distracting me from my musing, and nearly knocks me off the step as she barges into me. Instinctively, she lays her head on my lap, as if she senses I’m upset, and I use my thumb to rub her grey velvety fur while she whirrs away with contentment, closing her eyes and humming relaxing under my touch.
“There you are. Why are you sitting out here?” Hazel asks.
My bottom lip quivers as I look at her with worried eyes. She sits down next to me, and I place my hand on her knee—she understands me.
“Look, you’re only five minutes down the road. We’ll see each other whenever we want, and nothing will change. Not really. I’m so proud of you, Lexi, and you have my blessing. If I thought this move wasn’t good for you, I would tell you, but I think it will be the making of you. Truly,” she assures me.
“I’m scared.”
Hazel reaches for me, pulling me into her side, comforting me by stroking my hair. “Well, of course you’re scared. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. Lucca is your first relationship, and lucky for you it’s full with nothing but love and conviction, so you just need to embrace it and go with the flow. It’s understandable you have doubts, but, Lex, you are in a very fortunate position. You get to start all over.”
Does this mean if I start over, I’m disregarding what I have here? What I’ve worked hard at achieving since moving away from Mum and my grandparents? I have independence and a simple, orderly life. Does it mean I’ll be disrespecting Eleanor’s memory by moving on?
I look up at her and move my head in a small side-to-side shake as I bite my inside lip and grasp the hem of my skirt.
Hazel presses her lips together, swallowing back a lump in her throat, her eyes pooling with moisture. “Oh, Lexi, don’t. Please, don’t … it will all work out fine. You will be five minutes away, and Lucca will take good care of you. If he doesn’t, then Dominic and Cameron will have his balls.” Her voice is breaking, and she’s trying not to cry herself by supporting and convincing me.
I wrap my arms around her neck, burying my head in her blonde locks. I miss her already. I miss our DBBs in bed, our coffee nights and wine nights, our barbecues and morning runs, coming home from work and watching chick flicks. I even miss her moaning about what’s healthy to eat and what’s not, and I’m not even away yet.
Cameron walks out of the kitchen with three shot glasses in his palm, joining us on the step. “Slippery nipples. Bottoms up, girls.”
“Lang May Yer Lum Reek Rum,” the three of us chant in unison, clinking shot tumblers before we slam back the Bailey’s with Sambuca. Feeling the warm, strong, creamy liquor burn my throat, I set my shot glass down on the ground, putting my hands over my face and crunching forward into my knees. Nostalgia is making me terribly emotional.
Cameron stretches his arm around my shoulder. “It could be worse. You could be
moving to Tuscany. At least you’re here, and I promise nothing will change. We’ll see you all the time.”
My feet feel ice cold on the stone ground, even though it’s late June and supposed to be summer. I shiver as I hop side to side on the cold stone slabs.
Hazel comforts me, hugging me fondly as Doris does her affectionate animated dance, pawing at my knee. Lucca and Dominic join us, and he stands behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. He senses I’m fretting; he just knows.
“Doc, if you want to stay here another night we can move you out tomorrow. It is no hassle. However long you need.”
Turning, I look up at him with sad eyes. “No, it’s okay. I want to go to yours tonight. I’m just processing, that’s all.”
Lucca is trying hard, and I feel guilty for being miserable. I lift my feet up and stretch my legs across Cameron’s knees, and then Cameron wraps his arms around me. I tilt my head leaning it on Cameron’s shoulder, wondering if we will still comfort each other like this now I have Lucca to care for me.
Hazel jumps up. “Well, I’d like to celebrate. For one, I can leave as much mess as I like without being hounded, and for two, no more dog shit on the back lawn, and for three, lots of bathroom solo time. Oh, and when Cameron’s at work, Dom and I can make as much noise as we like in the bedroom.”
Dominic laughs at her forward confession. “And that is my future wife,” he says with cheeky sarcasm, stretching his hands towards her. Dominic is good for Hazel; he will only pull her in if it’s totally necessary but gives her a lot of free rein, which is more than I can do sometimes.
“Lucky you,” Cameron mutters under his breath.
“Hey, I heard that, Cammy, and need I remind you that I’ve been turning a blind eye so far with the whole Anna situation, you are the lucky one,” she blurts.
After some friendly banter and reminiscing about our garden barbecue days, Cameron lifts my legs off his knees and stands up then takes my hand to yank me upright. “Come on. We should get moving.” Before I lock the back door I have a final glance at the gnomes Eleanor and Mr. Carlin helped me pick out.