by SJ Molloy
“I love the house and I love your family, but I knew I would. You were not exaggerating about your mother’s beauty. She is absolutely stunning, which is of no surprise having a perfect beauty of a daughter. You are her exact image, and I told her so. She is an exceptional woman, Lexi, and she loves you very much. She is caring and gentle just like you. Your grandfather is a sincere, kind man. I see why you love him so much.”
“And Granny?”
“Keeping your grandfather on his toes, that is what she is.” I part my dry lips to smile and giggle.
He’s summed her right up.
“She’s hard work sometimes so be firm with her. She likes to get what she wants.”
“Hmmm … just like someone else I know.” He taps my nose with his fingers.
“I do not,” I protest.
“Lexi, please, those chocolate brown eyes get you anything you want and as long as you are in my arms, I will always give you what you want. I love taking care of you, just like your grandpa most likely does for your granny.” He strokes his thumb over my lips.
“I’d love to go for a nap. I’m so tired. Will you hold me for a bit?” I ask before running my fingers over his stubble then his lips.
“Of course I will. See how easy that was? Anything you want, baby.” He smiles.
“It’s the simple things, Romeo,” I say appreciatively.
Smiling, I jump up, open the bedroom door, and holler over the thick oak banister, “Mum, I’m going for a sleep. Can you wake me up for dinner please? Oh, and make sure Mr. Carlin is settled, and ask Granny to search for that herbal tea stuff to settle my stomach.”
“Are you okay?” she calls up.
“Yes, I have a fever and I’m tired.”
“Okay, honey, enjoy your nap. Is Lucca okay?”
“Yes, he’ll be down soon. Oh, there are groceries and butcher meat, which needs to be put in the fridge. Lucca will help.”
Sighing, she stares at me as I hang over the banister. “Anything else, Alexis?” Exhaustion with a trace of discontent is obvious in her tone, which could be misconstrued as sarcasm.
“Nope, I think that’s it. Oh, actually, ask Grandpa to feed Doris, please.” I go back into my room and Lucca is leaning against the headboard, raising his brow, looking smug with crossed arms behind his head.
“So back to our conversation …”
“Very funny. She likes doing stuff for me because she doesn’t see me very often.” I smirk.
“More like lets you get away with anything.” I guess she does. She has always felt a need to try and compensate for fundamental things she wasn’t able to do for us when we were kids.
I smile bashfully, running my teeth along my bottom lip.
“It’s lovely to see you smiling.”
He kicks his shoes off then lifts me up placing me in the middle of the bed. Slipping my pumps off, he gently massages my ankle then lifts the tartan throw. Spooning around my body, he wraps us in the throw and holds me close until I drift off into a deep sleep.
Stretching my lethargic limbs, the smell of pine, woodchips, fresh lavender and potpourri fills my nostrils, and I remember I’m in a room at my grandparents, nestled in the woodlands of the Scottish Highlands.
The fresh air sure knocked me out. I search for Lucca’s hand, his body, but he’s not there. Lifting my cosmetic bag from a holdall next to the bed, I freshen up and brush my teeth then take some of my painkillers hoping it will lower my burning temperature.
I discover I’m not bleeding any longer. Weird! Then I remember the doctor telling me the implant reduces your period and makes it very light and short.
Excellent, I say to myself. I smile looking at Granny’s coordinating purple hand towels with tartan ribbon trimming, matching bath mat, and a little vase of thistles in the bathroom.
I hope she’s not too upset that Lucca will be sharing a room with me, but it’s simply non-negotiable. I find a note sitting on the dresser.
‘Doc, you looked so peaceful and needed a good sleep, so I did not want to disturb you. I am going to bond with your mother and tell her wonderful things about you, about us. I will be waiting downstairs for you, see you soon. Lexi, I love you, baby xxx’.
Holding the note to my chest, I smile into the mirror in silent prayer, grateful that Lucca is in my life, that I have him.
“Oh God,” I groan with disgust, noticing my dark, weary eyes. I look lifeless and my face is ashen even under my olive skin tone and sun kissed glow from Italy. Pinching my cheeks doesn’t bring any colour to them at all.
Sighing, I accept I look and feel like shit.
Hanging my body over the banister, I don’t see or hear anyone in the hallway. Downstairs, I find Mr. Carlin, Grandpa, Lloyd, Devon, and Nate in the dining room playing cards. I wrap my arms around Grandpa’s neck and kiss his head.
“I hope you’re winning.”
“Do I ever lose, kid?” Men in Black try to remain impartial but their facial expressions are softening, and I see a smile from under Devon’s normally stern mien.
It’s the first time I have seen Men in Black relax, and without those dark glasses on they look carefree and well … human. They are from the same firm as Nate so they have a lot of history together, and I’m guessing it’s not going to be as uncomfortable as I initially thought for them.
“Nice sleep, Apple?” Grandpa asks.
“Yes thanks, where’s Lucca?”
“Outside with your mother. Granny is in the kitchen. She might want help if you’re feeling better. You have a wonderful beau there, Apple, he’s a keeper. He sure is a very endearing, loving man and I’m delighted for you, kid,” he says without taking his eyes off the game at hand.
I love the way he and Granny still call each other “Granny” and “Grandpa” in front of me. It’s very sweet. I’ve only ever heard him call her Elizabeth in my presence a few times, and it’s when their having a tiff.
“I know I do, Grandpa, I really do.” I kiss his head and stroll outside. Leaning against the porch, I watch Lucca and my mum sitting on the bench surrounded by the tree. She has a shawl wrapped around her petite shoulders and her head rests on Lucca’s shoulder. From the back I could be looking at Lucca and me.
His arm is protectively around her shoulder, and she looks tiny under his huge, toned arms. They’re watching the sunset across the northern edge of the Cairngorm National Park and River Spey. The views are truly spectacular, peaceful, fresh, and unlike anywhere else on earth. It’s mystical. This view fills my heart with pride every time I look at it.
Lucca also fills my heart with pride because of his natural instinct to protect, care, cherish, and love.
It breaks me seeing her so vulnerable. I’m striving to keep strength because nothing I have gone through or ever will go through will come fractionally close to my mum’s own horrid misfortunes and emotional demons.
Grace Robertson has clawed and chipped away trying to shatter that glass shield, to break into her light, but she just can’t make those last few punctures to splinter and crack that glass. The shield encases her, she slides back down, dragged further into the pit of Hell, deeper into the abyss of bad dreams.
On that side. The dark side.
Figuratively, her hands must be cut to shreds, not to mention her mind and heart. My issues seem like a mere trickle of rain on a water lily floating in a tiny pond of worry in comparison to hers.
Knowing Lucca and how he has helped me and how strong he is, he might just be what she needs to shatter that glass and find some of her own light. I hope so. I don’t want to disturb the moment but little Ruby, the King Charles spaniel, is whining and clawing at my leg. I bend over to pick her up and snuggle her into my neck, kissing her head.
As if sensing I’m there, Lucca turns around and smiles tenderly at me. His eyes ask me to join them. Agreeing soundlessly, I walk across the gravel and dewy grass towards the tree bench with Ruby cuddled in my arms.
I have a desperate desire to be near him for his touch and to share
his warmth. The butterflies in my abdomen flutter, anticipating his loving, gentle comfort. With Ruby in my arms, I sit at the other side of Lucca then put Little Miss Frightful down on the grass when she wriggles hearing Doris’ wolf-like howl. She scurries away to hide.
Lucca kisses my cheek and moves a stray curl from my face. My mum doesn’t look up; she remains peacefully relaxed into Lucca’s side watching the warm amber sun lowering behind the Cairngorm National Park and distant River Spey. I reach my hand across and place it over hers, resting on Lucca’s thigh. She sighs and clutches it tightly.
The golden evening sun highlights her perfect but thin body and the caramel sheen of her soft, chocolate hair. Other than the elegant small pearls, her skin is bare; there are no diamonds or expensive sparkle, only her pure, exquisite beauty which is sparkle enough for my beautiful mum. I feel a twinge of heartache sharing this moment with her.
“Alexis,” she whispers.
“Uh huh.” I’m waiting on something very negative, challenging, or obsessively suffocating.
“I give you both my blessing, sweetheart. Lucca is more than wonderful, and very much the man who I would love you to spend your life with. He is perfect for you, and I truly wish you both all the happiness in the world that my fragile heart can give you. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you and Cameron, and it makes me very happy and content to know that you have found stability, love, and security,” she croaks.
I’m speechless. I don’t know how Lucca managed it, but then I never doubted his charm. He’s superhuman after all. Tears threaten my eyes, but I’m on my mission of strength and try desperately to contain them.
“Mum, I’m so happy you said that because Lucca has turned my life around, and I need your blessing, thank you … it means so much. I love you, Mum.” I squeeze Lucca’s knee with my hand as my other one tightens around my mum’s.
“Our relationship has progressed very fast, so I understand you have your concerns, but I can assure you I want nothing more than to be with Lucca, to have him in my life.” Lucca grips me tightly, then trails his thumb across my hip. She lifts her head off Lucca’s shoulder, sitting upright and turning to face me, causing the shawl to drop off her dainty shoulders.
“Alexis, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was irrational with you. I can see now how special your relationship is, how special you are for each other. I was shocked initially, but, sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. God was watching over me when he brought you into the world, into my life. You’re my breath of hope, Alexis, and you have no idea how much I love you.”
The strong wall which I’ve tried to cement is tumbling brick by brick.
I’m demolished.
“Mum, I love you too. I’m sorry if I let you down.” My lip trembles.
“Alexis, you could never let me down, ever. I’ve done enough of that for all of us.” She’s faltering, doing what I always do … questioning herself.
“Hey, don’t ever say that. You have not. You’re an inspiration, Mum, look what a good job you’ve done raising us. We have so much respect for you. Don’t ever put yourself down. Promise me,” I sob with a lump forming in my throat.
Promise.
A promise is a promise.
“Oh, honey, thank you … I promise I’ll try.” She smiles.
Standing up, we reach for one other and embrace tightly. In this moment I wish I could obliterate my mum’s worry the same way Lucca does with mine.
We hold each other until the sun is finally down, huddled against one another. Lucca grants us our moment. I reach my hand to pull him beside me. My mum wipes my tears then smiles.
“I’ll give you both a minute. I’ll help your grandmother with dinner, Lucca … thank you ...” Mum smiles, her brown eyes glisten with moisture. I see a stray tear cascade down her cheek and it looks so bright … light … like a sparkling diamond. I think about Lucca telling me the same thing that my tears glistened like diamonds against my skin.
Now I get it.
“You’re most welcome, Grace.” He rubs her shoulder sympathetically.
I watch her walk to the house, her hair swaying down her back with each light, delicate footstep.
She leaves the shawl on the bench.
“Come here,” Lucca says softly, approaching my lips to kiss them, wrapping the shawl around me.
Still warm from the heat from my mum’s body, it comforts me. He kisses me sweetly again and again. Ready to move, we stand. I press my body against his. Under the thin fabric of the sundress I feel his hard, toned, muscular body against mine.
One hand is behind my head softly playing with my hair while the other nestles in the small of my back. His hand travels over my ass, under the shawl. Leaping up, he instinctively catches me while I wrap my legs around his waist. Lucca places his forehead on mine and spins me around slowly in the blissful, romantic Scottish sunset.
“I love you, Mr. Caruso. You never fail to amaze me. My mum loves you, and I couldn’t be happier. You’ve worked your magic.”
“Baby, it was you. She watched the way you look at me, and that is what she noticed. That is what convinced her.”
“Kiss me,” I demand. A warmth of gratitude radiating from my eyes.
It’s a slow, sensual kiss. The kind of sweet kiss that has me quivering helplessly with sheer loving desire, one that I don’t want to end. I melt into his protective arms with vulnerability.
Closing my eyes deep in the moment, I hear Doris barking. She’s jumping up and down next to me with jealously, little Tosh, the Westie, in her shadow trying to follow suit. Lucca kisses my neck tickling me, and I giggle throwing my head back while he spins me in slow motion, only causing Doris to bark with excitement and circle us even more.
Bucking and squirming, I reach my hand under his tight-fitting T-shirt to tickle him. We laugh, fondle, and giggle so much that we fall back on the grass, entangled in the shawl. The dogs are in a state of excitement bouncing around us, even Ruby the timid dog has joined us.
Lucca leans over me and moves that unruly wave of curls that falls over my face. His voice has lost its lightness, and he’s now very serious. Deep. The intense heat in his eyes singes my body and makes my heart beat rapidly.
“Lexi, we will get through this. Nothing is going to happen to you. I know you are exhausted thinking about it, but I promise you …”
He leans in, holding my two hands above my head on the grass, and kisses me passionately. His tongue swirls with mine slow, soft and seductive. My grandpa’s deliberate coughing shakes us from our intimate moment.
“Dinner is ready.”
Oh shit. I blush.
“Okay, we’re coming.” I bury my head into the crook of Lucca’s neck to hide my embarrassment.
“Come here,” he whispers turning my head so that he can meet my eyes, silently telling me he loves me.
Amorous.
Safe.
Complete.
When Lucca picks me up and lazily hangs his arm around my shoulder walking us back to the porch, my granny and mum are both watching us from the porch, amazed with our intimacy.
“If you two lovebirds are finished, dinner is ready,” Granny quibbles, ruffling her apron and her feathers. Her tone is a little sharp. I look at Mum who smiles and rolls her eyes at Granny. I never thought Mum would be so open-minded about my relationship with Lucca.
Oh God, I hope I don’t get the dreaded loafer swiped across my ass from Granny.
My mum smiles in loving appreciation with eyes of respect and adoration. Understanding.
I brush the grass off the bottom of my dress and kiss Granny’s cheek as I pass the front door, only to get an eye raising snigger from Mum because she knows Elizabeth Robertson does not like her feathers ruffled.
Everyone’s sitting around the dining table for dinner, including our three Men in Black. Hospitality and good manners are a must in the Robertson household, so our security team has been made very welcome—like guests, not staff.
I’m sitting between G
randpa and Lucca with one hand wrapped in Grandpa’s and the other around Lucca’s lower back. I skim his lower back through the material of his T-shirt, tapping my fingers lightly as I hang my head on Grandpa’s shoulder.
I offer to help but Granny insists I sit and relax as she thinks I look rather pale. Mum’s not buying the fever excuse. She’s studied every move, comment, and expression. I feel as if I’m being assessed by a triage nurse.
Mum serves the starters: Granny’s homemade chicken liver pate with her own cranberry sauce, wild herbs from the garden, and Scottish oatcakes. Normally, I would love this, but my stomach is still delicate after today’s travel sickness.
The smell of the pate is actually turning my stomach. It’s killing me.
“Alexis, what’s wrong? This is one of you favourites,” Mum asks, alarmed.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I think it’s the bug, I think I’m going to …” I place my hand over my mouth and escape to the downstairs toilet and vomit into the bowl just in time, not that there’s much in my stomach today.
The door opens seconds later and I know it’s Lucca.
“Oh, dolcezza, you are really ill. I think you should go to the doctor’s tomorrow … you must have a virus. Here, drink this.”
He moves my hair and holds a glass of water in front of me. I sit back on my heels. My hand is shaking, but I reach for it and take a sip, my teeth chattering against the glass. “Oh God, I’m mortified.”
“Hey, if you are ill, you are ill. It is fine. I just want you better. Are you done? Are you okay now?”
“Yes.”
I know there’s nothing left to physically retch out of my stomach. After washing, we exit the compact toilet to see my mum standing in the hall with her hands tucked into the pocket of her jeans looking through me.
“Alexis, Lucca, can you come here for a moment please.” She’s steady, serious, and level headed, so much so it’s worrying me. I look at her for reasoning but nothing. I shrug, glancing at Lucca, baffled as to where this is going.
Maybe I have a mystery childhood illness that she has now decided to share with me.