by J. M. Witt
“You’re lucky you don’t.” She laughed as we looked around for a while longer.
Soon it was time for the official dedication out front. She stood by me, a smile on her face as the reporters flashed their cameras and I made a small speech. Any profit from the studio would go to the charity my mother had established, years prior for the local foster kids, and all of those donations would be made in Holly’s name.
When we were getting in the truck to head home, I had a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something. I walked around to my side, after closing her door, and stopped near the tailgate and pinched my brows together as the flash of white happened again.
I was looking at a painting of Cassidy and then I was holding a necklace in my hands. The memories were separate but my brain had thrown them together in a jumbled mess. I closed the lid on the necklace and placed it in a drawer. The penthouse.
I had to go to the penthouse. I climbed in the truck, “Hey, I need to make a stop at…” There was a tap on my window and I rolled it down. Smith and Delaney invited us for a nightcap at the hotel bar. Perfect timing. “Yeah, I was headed that way. Sounds like a plan.”
Cassidy tilted her head at me, “What are you up to?” I just shrugged my shoulders and she didn’t press the issue. I had a massive headache and hoped that I would find what I was looking for at the penthouse.
We walked into The Benedict and I sent the three of them to the bar. “I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Cassidy glared at me and I assured her, “Promise, I’ll be right back.”
I got on the elevator and headed upstairs. When the bell chimed for my floor and I stepped out, I looked down the hall to the only other room that occupied my floor. Another memory paralyzed me.
She walked toward me in an olive green and black dress with a filigree mask on. I’d know her anywhere. I was outside myself as I watched the exchange we had. I watched as we stepped into the elevator.
Then the flash was gone. Shit. I stumbled to the penthouse headed toward the stairs.
I looked to the kitchen counter and remembered the first time I brought her here. I handed her water and then I led her up the stairs. I followed myself and her as they walked into the bedroom. I helped her take her dress off and then her heels and she fell over on top of me. We were laughing on the floor and then I was lying next to her and woke to find her gone.
It ceased again as I looked around for the painting. It wasn’t there. I staggered to the other bedroom and found nothing. DAMMIT! I searched through my workout room and then headed back to the bedroom. I started turning the place upside down. Drawers were emptied to the floor. Where was it?
“James?” I was aware that it was Smith, but I didn’t have time. “What are you doing? Did you lose something?”
“Go away!” Talking to myself, more than him I shouted, “Where the fuck is that necklace?”
I walked into the large closet and started turning over drawers in there and emptying the shelves. My hands shook when I found the two velvet boxes, each different in color and size. I opened the one that was clearly a ring box and my grandmother’s ring stared back at me.
“Jimmy, I raised you smarter than that. She wants a ring.”
“Mom, I’m not getting her a ring. Besides, I wouldn’t have a clue to what she’d want.”
“What about grandma’s ring?”
“That was your engagement ring. I’m not taking your ring. Please drop it mom.”
“Dude, are you ok? Where’d you just go?” He looked at the ring, but didn’t comment as I closed the lid and handed it to him.
“Keep that safe for me.” He just nodded and put it in his pocket. I opened the other box and looked at a black diamond charm in the shape of a blackbird. “Blackbird.” I dropped to my knees.
Smith hunched down with me, probably worried I was having a stroke. “James, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“I’m remember.” Gripping his arm I pleaded with him. “Get Cassidy. Now!”
He nodded, “Ok, but you’re not dying, right?”
I smirked, “No, I’m not dying. Please, get her now. It’s important and don’t fucking show her that ring or tell her I remember!”
~ CASSIDY ~
Delaney and I were sipping on our drinks when Smith decided to go see what was taking James so long. I was eager to get James home and show him my appreciation for everything he’d done for me, when he hadn’t owed me anything. I still couldn’t wrap my mind around everything he’d done. Delaney and Smith needed to be thanked, too.
“Thank you, Delaney.”
“For what?”
I rolled my eyes at her and smiled. “For everything. You’ve really become a great friend to me. After everything that’s happened over the past, well, year almost, I just can’t thank you enough.”
“It’s been my pleasure. I’m really glad that we’re friends.” We clanked our glasses and took a drink. “So, how’s it going with James?”
I blushed as usual, “Great. I’m so happy. With the amnesia, I just thought there was no way he’d let me in, but, he’s almost more open with me now than he was before. It’s weird.”
“Not weird. He’s been through a lot of turmoil over the last year, you too. I think the amnesia may have been a good thing. He was able to get to know you without all the baggage hanging over you two.”
I nodded my head, “Yeah, I guess you could be right.”
Snickering she boasted, “I’m always right!”
It was then that I saw Smith rushing to the table. James wasn’t behind him and I immediately grew worried. I stood and asked him what was wrong before he had a chance to say anything.
“I think he’s ok, but he needs you.”
Grabbing my purse I spit out, “You think. What does that mean? Is he in the penthouse?”
Smith simply nodded as I ran to the elevator. He and Delaney were close behind and it was a good thing because I didn’t have my keycard with me. Throwing the door open for me, I strode past Smith into the penthouse and looked to him. He pointed to the stairs. I ran up them and headed straight for the bedroom. It looked like the place had been ransacked.
“James? Where are you?”
“Cassidy!”
I found him sitting on the floor of his huge walk-in closet. What the hell was he doing in there? It had been torn apart as well and I wondered if he’d found the place in that condition or if he’d done it himself. Kneeling down next to him, I placed my hands on his knee. His legs were bent and his hair hid his face from my view.
“James, please talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
It was like someone stuck a dagger in me. Why hadn’t I told him what? I racked my brain. The only thing we’d never discussed was the baby. I sighed as I tried to form words.
“Little bird.” He finally lifted his head and his eyes met mine. Had he been crying? God, it was worse than I thought. “That’s not your name, Blackbird. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to pressure you.” Wait. The hypothetical dagger left my chest as I asked, “How, why, did you just call me Blackbird?”
“That’s your name isn’t it?”
Before I could say anything more, he dangled the necklace in front of me. I thought it had been long gone and it seemed that James had it all along. My voice cracked as I asked, “Where, how did you get this?”
“I found it on the ground that day at the hospital after Dan tried abducting you. The chain was broken and I took it in to get fixed. Then I blew everything to shit.”
“You’ve had it all this time?”
“Yes. Waiting for the right time to give it back to you.” I didn’t know what to say. I listened as he carried on. “I’ve been remembering things, little things. When we left the art studio tonight, I had a flash of the necklace here at the penthouse. I had to come and find it.”
“You’re remembering things?”
His hands grabbed my waist and pulled me closer t
o him. I was on my knees as we both held the others face. He tucked some hair behind my ear and said, “Not things, everything, Blackbird.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Please don’t tease me.”
“I don’t tease.” He cupped my face as I clutched his shoulders. “Always.” He looked in my eyes, “Only.” He kissed my lips, “Forever.”
Together we whispered, “You.”
His lips met mine and we took our time. Gently, he nipped my bottom lip between his teeth as my hands threaded through his hair. I licked at his open mouth as he pulled me onto his lap. There was a knock on the closet entrance and I groaned as I dropped my head to his shoulder.
“I’m going to assume everything’s good here. I don’t need to call paramedics or anything?”
James growled and looked past me. “Only for yourself if you don’t get the fuck out of here.”
“Aye, aye captain. It’s nice to have you back.” James picked up something and threw it at Smith as I chuckled. Smith and Delaney left us to our long overdue reunion on the closet floor of the penthouse.
“How long have you been remembering?”
He looked to me and rolled his eyes. “Does it fucking matter.” I tried not to smile at his tone as he demanded, “Fucking kiss me, wife.”
~ JAMES ~
Every single memory I’d lost came rushing back. My head was pounding with the information overload. Weeks and months of torture were finally over. She’d stood by my side, without falter, the entire time. She’d bent her own will to my whims as I made her my slave. I was a dick. I knew that she’d done it knowing it was probably the only way she’d get to me. She’d been right. The closer we became, the more frequent the dreams and glimpses of my lost memory had become.
We were sitting on the floor of the closet, her straddling my lap. My headache was starting to subside and Smith had just left. “Fucking kiss me, wife.”
“I will, soon enough. How much do you remember of that day?”
I pulled her to my chest and said softly, “I remember seeing his car fly off that bridge and plummet into the water. I think my heart stopped. I remember telling Paul that no matter what, he had to get you to shore.” I sighed deeply, burying my nose into her hair. I’d almost lost her, again. Then I remembered seeing the flash of white that went off in the car. I pushed her back so I could see her face. “I got your phone call, I heard everything you said.” She wiped at her tears as I asked, “Did he try to shoot you?”
“No, well, yes, but I shot him first.”
“Jesus Christ. You’ll be lucky if I ever let you out of my sight again.”
She trailed her soft finger down my scar and kissed my closed eyes, “I’m not going anywhere.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and said, “About that kiss…I have one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“Take me home, no detours this time.”
Groaning, I pulled the keys out of my pocket and informed her, “You should drive. My head is thrashing.”
“Should we call a doctor?”
Smiling at her, I pushed her off my lap and said, “It’s nothing a good pounding can’t cure.”
She shook her head and said, “It’s time you pay up on your lost poker bet.”
Shit. How did I tell her I’d really won the game that night? Delaney knew the truth, but I was pretty sure her loyalties now laid with Cassidy and not me and was surprised she hadn’t revealed the truth to Cassidy. “Blackbird, let me love you first. I’ve missed you.”
She started to speak and then didn’t. As we walked out of the closet, another gift box caught my eye. Releasing her hand, I picked it up, remembering what it was. She looked to me and I handed it to her.
“Here, sit down.” I moved her to the edge of the bed and told her to open it.
Hesitantly she opened it up. When she removed the lid and saw the contents, she pressed her lips together and struggled to hold back the emotion.
“I bought these the day I came back from the cabin, before…”
She nodded, “They’re so tiny.” She held up the baby booties, then the hat and the bib. She placed everything back in the box and replaced the lid. “Thank you. You know, you’re mom said something to me the day before she died.” I was speechless as she continued speaking, “She said that you’d be so happy about the baby, like she knew. I wasn’t even pregnant yet, I don’t think.”
I wiped her tears before pulling her to me. “I want a family with you, Blackbird. I never thought I’d say those words to anyone.”
Whimpering into my neck, she reciprocated. “I want a family, too. It’s just…”
Stroking her hair, “What is it?”
“I’m scared. What if I can’t get pregnant?”
“Hey, you said the doctors said it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I know, but, what if…”
“Shh, stop worrying about the ‘what ifs’. I want a family with you, when you’re ready.” She nodded into my neck and asked that I be patient with her.
Holding hands we walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She drove us home and I threw her over my shoulder like I’d done so many times before, once we were inside. I carried her up the stairs and knew we’d triumphed. I loved her more than life itself. She was the only thing in my life, which had once been full of debauchery that mattered.
I walked into the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind me. Memories from before and after the accident swarmed my brain and I was thankful she insisted we go home. The penthouse was home for many memories, but the townhouse was our home. I let her slide down my front and smiled wickedly at her.
I pulled out my phone and silenced it before docking it to the speakers and putting on my ‘Cassidy’ playlist. I’d found the list after Smith gave me my new phone. I’d added several songs in the past few weeks and now that I remembered everything, all my song choices made sense. Some I’d even taken from her playlist for the club.
I played the song that I had added during my time away at the cabin. I spent those days sobering up and in daily sessions with Dr. Pratt. I knew then I could never let her go and all I wanted was to give her my love. Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran began playing as she walked around the room tempting me by the sway of her hips.
“I thought you said no sappy songs.”
Closing the distance between us, I snagged her wrist and yanked her body to mine. “It’s not that sappy. Give me love, Cassidy. Let me love you.”
I didn’t wait for her answer, simply feathered my goatee over her lips, cheeks and neck. Her breathing increased as she gripped my arms and pulled at my suit jacket. I shrugged it off as she worked the buttons of my shirt. Before she had it fully open, she yanked it out of my pants and I pulled it over my head. I bent down and ran my hands up her stockings and as I reached her knees, my hands traveled under her dress to the hem of the stockings. She was wearing a garter belt.
“You’re wearing the garter belt. You know what that does to me.”
She just smiled as my lips met hers. She glided her tongue into my mouth with such fervor that I groaned. I cupped her face and pulled my lips away as I asked where the zipper was. She turned around and I found the small clasp and zipper that kept the dress closed. Slowly, I pulled it down as her ivory skin met my eyes. I spotted the back closure to her bra and took note that it was also one I’d purchased for her. I pulled her back as I bit on her neck, pushing her hair to the other side. Sliding the dress over each shoulder, I guided it over her hips. Once I heard the fabric hit the floor I stood up and took in the sight of her. All white skin, black lace and red hair. She was a sight to be seen.
Slowly, she turned around and closed the distance between us. I wanted to take things slow, but she was making it difficult. That memory of that morning in the dining room at the penthouse, all those weeks ago, came to mind. We had been frenzied and I didn’t want that for us, not then anyway.
Like she read my mind she chanted, “Slow and hard, James.”
&n
bsp; I showed her my smile that I knew she couldn’t resist and pushed her back against the bed. She leaned up on her elbows as she watched me undress. I left my briefs on and climbed on top of her fully intending to make her beg.
“It Was Always You.” Another Maroon 5 song that spoke to my heart, which was her.
“Another sappy song. I’m beginning to wonder about you Mr. Benedict.”
“Only the sappiest for you.” She smiled sweetly as I lowered my lips to her.
I began kissing every inch of exposed skin, savoring every moment. Her skin was beginning to tremble and every caress produced a shudder or a moan of pleasure from her. Kneeling between her knees, I detached her garters from the stockings and pulled the belt off her body leaving the stockings. Her panties were next and I locked my eyes with hers as I pulled them down.
“James. Don’t make me beg.”
Grinning, “But you know how I love to hear you beg.”
I reached for her hand and pulled her to a seated position. On my knees and still between her legs she cupped my erection as her lips moved over my torso. Her other hand moved up the back of my leg and into the hem of my underwear. Squeezing my cheek and digging her nails in, I growled as I reached for the hooks of her bra. Once it was unhooked she shrugged it off and threw it to the floor. Leaning over her, she fell back to the bed as I took a nipple into my mouth. I sucked and nipped at it until she cried out, my other hand teasing her mound.
I kissed down to her navel until I reached the damp sweetness that was wholly her. Her clit was starting to swell when I took it in my mouth and worked my tongue over it. I loved watching her hips and thighs flex as she sought more pressure. She was seeking penetration and I knew it as she pressed harder into my face. I worked my briefs off then cupped her ass in my hands as she became more disoriented. When she panted my name, I pulled away and knelt between her legs.
“Cassidy, look at me.” Those eyes of hers were magnetic. She searched for my face in the darkness and met my eyes. “I love you, Blackbird.”