Tell Me I'm Dreamin'

by Eboni Snoe

  “Lord! Oh, my Lord! I don’t believe this!” She stared at the necklace. Somewhere, almost as if it had been in a dream, Nadine vaguely remembered seeing the same necklace hanging around the neck of a magnificent female cliff dweller.

  Slowly, she drew the entire ornament out of the bag. There was a small piece of papyrus wrapped around one of the tablets. Her heart fluttered as she removed it, and studied the images. One showed the onyx unicorn slab in the middle of a table filled with books. The other depicted a smiling female giving a large, glowing stone to another, as a group of proud onlookers observed the transaction. Nadine was shocked. Did the cliff dwellers place the onyx slab in the library/museum knowing she would find it? And was it possible the cliff dwellers had actually given her the necklace during the ceremony? Nadine tried to separate what she thought were distant dreams from reality. If any of it was true, it meant she had fulfilled the legend, and that she was connected with Lenora, the bringer of light.

  Her trembling fingers caressed the images on the papyrus and the carvings on the tablets. Nadine could not begin to guess the value of a diamond like the one she held in her hand. Just the thought of being treasured so highly by the cliff dwellers, a mystical group of people living in the Caribbean, was payment enough. It made her understand how connected all of mankind was, no matter how separated they perceived themselves to be. If she, a young woman who had grown up in a small town like Ashland, Mississippi, could be such an intricate part of the cliff dwellers’ life on Eros, Nadine realized, the connection between the entire human race was just as powerful.

  She fastened the necklace around her neck and covered it up with the scarf she was already wearing. Nadine brushed her teeth quickly and returned to her seat.

  “Is everything okay?” Gloria asked as she sat down. “You look kind of funny and you were gone for a long time.”

  “No. Everything’s fine,” Nadine answered, then looked out the window. She could not tell her friend about the magnificent necklace. How could she? Nadine could not explain to Gloria what she herself did not understand.

  Hours later the plane taxied in. Shuffling along within the crowd, a growing feeling of sadness descended upon Nadine. She was finally back in the States. Memphis, Tennessee, was a long way from Eros, and the possibility that she might never go back again was tough to bear.

  Once she was inside the terminal Nadine hugged Larry and Gloria for the last time. Their connecting flight to Tampa would be leaving in about forty-five minutes.

  Gloria held Nadine at arm’s length while tears welled up in her eyes. “We can’t let so much time pass before we see each other again.”

  “No, we can’t,” was Nadine’s shaky reply. “It’s been so good seeing you, Gloria.”

  The two women hugged and held on to one another. Finally, Gloria pulled away and made an effort to smile. “Who knows? Maybe in a few months we can plan a trip to Mexico or something.”

  Nadine began to shake her head. “I—”

  “No. I don’t want an answer right now,” Gloria stopped her. “Let a little time pass.” She knew they were both thinking about Ulysses. “Get yourself settled, and we’ll talk about it then,” she encouraged her.

  “Sure,” a weary Nadine acquiesced. “We can shoot for that.”

  They hugged again, then Nadine watched as Gloria and Larry were swallowed up in the airport terminal traffic.

  Chapter 32

  The sun was beginning to scorch Nadine’s ankles as she sat in the grassy meadow observing the colorful picture being painted. Sadie’s tiny hand held the brush tightly as she stroked her interpretation of the landscape.

  “My cow’s head looks too big.” She puckered her lips in disappointment

  “Not really,” Nadine encouraged her. “This painting is supposed to represent how you see the landscape and the cow. It doesn’t have to be perfect in the general sense of the word. As a matter of fact,” Nadine donned a serious expression as she studied the brown heifer, “I think Bessie’s head just might be a little larger than the other cows. What do you think?”

  The little girl turned her head from side to side, finally nodding in agreement. “Yeah, I think you’re right,” she said, suddenly satisfied with her painting.

  Nadine gave her small shoulder a squeeze before moving on to the next child’s painting. She was pleased with the way things had turned out over the last two months. The first week after returning to Ashland had been the most difficult. Drained from traveling and the events that had unfolded, she barely left the farm. She had done the best she could in telling Grandma Rose about her international adventure, but there were so many things she could not tell her. Nadine felt there was no need to disturb her grandmother’s way of looking at life, just because her life had been rocked.

  Despite Nadine’s decision not to tell her grandmother everything that had happened on Eros, Grandma Rose told her how much she seemed to have changed. She said she liked the way Nadine looked with her contacts and her natural hair worn loose and free. She also liked her clothes, which continued to be modest, although they were now arranged in a manner that enhanced her figure. But Grandma Rose said there was something within the depths of her eyes that had changed the most. “They look confident, baby. And you no longer hide behind your education, trying to cover up other personal things that you feel insecure about,” she had just told her this morning. “I see deep understanding in your eyes now. Yes, I believe my Nay-Nay has come into her own.”

  Even so, in the midst of all of this, Nadine felt a vast ocean of sadness and a longing that only a woman in love could know. Grandma Rose had pressed her to share the pain, but Nadine had refused. The hurt was still far too new, far too real.

  But things had worked out okay. Nadine was gathering information on how to start a desktop publishing company. In the meantime Grandma Rose felt good when she used the computer she had bought for her to organize a summer art camp for children. Nadine had put together a proposal for the board at Rust College to interest them in funding the venture. The members were highly impressed with her credentials and experience, and agreed to back the project for five weeks.

  There was no problem finding youngsters who wanted to participate; as interest began to increase, Nadine had to limit the age of eligible participants in order for the program to be effective. When the classes began she had fifteen students, mostly girls between the ages of eight and thirteen.

  Nadine shooed the bee that was determined to follow her as she examined each student’s work. They could not have asked for a more beautiful day, and the children were glad this assignment had been scheduled outside on Auntie Rose’s farm.

  Gingerly, Nadine stepped around the splattered palette of one of the young artists, only to arrive at Lavern’s blank canvas. The young, gangly girl sat cross-legged at the base of the wooden easel, using the end of one of her brushes to poke at a soft mound of grass. Nadine had tried over and over to reach Lavern, but it was proving to be a difficult job. It bothered her all the more because she knew the girl had potential.

  As she looked at Lavern’s bowed head she remembered how, on her own, Lavern created a beautiful flower from a collage of dried petals. Nadine had praised her highly, but before the session was over Lavern had destroyed the picture.

  Nadine had purposefully set up the lesson today on the farm where she had grown up. Lavern lived with her mother in a rural area far away from the college. Her father had left them several years ago. The only time Nadine ever saw Lavern was during the art sessions. She had set up the session today with the young girl in mind.

  “Lavern, why don’t you take a walk with me back to the house. I’ve got some drinks and snacks for everyone, and I’ll need some help.”

  The eleven-year-old’s eyes perked up immediately at the thought of being chosen to help “Miss Clayton.”

  Nadine knew all of the girls looked up to her, and over and over again she would hear them whispering about how smart, nice, and pretty she was, and how the
y wanted to be just like her when they grew up. Although Nadine also saw admiration in Lavern’s eyes, she never heard the girl voice her feelings about anything to anyone. She was the loner of the group, never reaching out, and in return, no one ever reached out to her.

  Nadine watched Lavern get up rather clumsily. She was taller than the rest of the children, all legs as Grandma Rose put it. Her thick, natural hair was constantly worn in two cornrows with bangs. Even though her clothes were comparable to the other children’s clothes, sometimes her sleeves or pants legs rode a little high on her long limbs. From personal experience Nadine understood why. Lavern was extremely thin, and had to wear the smaller sizes in order for her clothes to fit.

  Upon entering the house the girl silently followed Nadine to the kitchen.

  “Have a seat, Lavern.” Nadine pointed to a chair tucked under the kitchen table. “I’ll be right back.” She went inside her bedroom and reappeared with a photo album.

  “Why don’t you take a look at this while I prepare the snacks. It’s my old family album.”

  Nadine couldn’t help but smile at the glow of pleasure on Lavern’s thin face as she took the oversized book and began to turn the crackling pages.

  “I know where this is.” She pointed. “That’s down off of Pegues Street. And I know her too,” she said as she perused the photographs. Lavern’s curious gaze came to a halt at a photo of another young girl about her age. She frowned at the gangly child standing awkwardly by an old well with several small chickens about her feet. So engrossed was Lavern in examining the picture, she never realized Nadine was standing behind her.

  “That’s me.” Nadine’s soft voice broke into the child’s concentration.

  Lavern looked up at her with disbelieving eyes, then returned to stare at the creased black and white shot.

  “That’s you, Miss Clayton?” Surprise filled her high voice.

  “It most certainly is. Surprised, aren’t you?”

  She nodded her braided head fervently.

  “Time brings about all kinds of changes, Lavern, inside of you and also on the outside. If things always remained the same there would be no progress. Sometimes, even when you’re an adult, it’s a little hard to realize who you are and your purpose in life. But always remember you are a very special part of Creation, and if you believe in yourself, anything is possible.” She gave Lavern’s thin shoulder a squeeze. “Remember that and look forward to it.”

  Their trek back to the field with refreshments was a short one. Before the afternoon was over, Nadine noticed some tentative smiles passing between Lavern and a couple of the other girls. Smiling to herself, she released a deep sigh. At least she knew the art session today had been a whopping success.

  Later that night Nadine climbed into bed. She thought about the letter she had sent off to Gloria, telling her all about her strange experiences on Eros. Nadine did not know how many times she had searched for Gloria’s old letters. Not being able to find them totally baffled her. She closed her eyes. She had found all of her other personal papers stored inside a boot box put away by Grandma Rose. Nadine had finally given in to the fact that Gloria’s letters were gone. Perhaps Grandma Rose had accidentally thrown them away after she sold her bedroom set while she was in the Caribbean.

  Nadine felt saddened by the loss. The letters had held such rich memories of the years of her young adult life, the closest thing to a diary she had possessed.

  She lay there in the new full-size bed, thinking of what she would do once the summer was over. She had heard about a couple of projects. There was even a letter from Dr. Steward praising her work with the World Treasures Institute. He said the donation from Sovereign’s book sale had far exceeded their expectations, and the word was, it never would have been so successful without her efforts. He had regretted an onyx unicorn shown to him by an islander was not one of the legendary Five Pieces of Gaia, although it was an excellent replica. He was beginning to believe the set was just that, a legend. Dr. Steward expressed hopes of having her aboard when the project went into phase two later on in the fall.

  Through the open window Nadine listened to the symphony of cicadas and other insects that always began to play as darkness approached out in the country. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She wondered if she would have another dream involving the cliff dwellers, Ulysses, and Melanie. The images always presented Melanie as the dark one. She did not understand why in her dreams, Melanie, as kind and generous as she had been toward her, would be represented in such a way. But night after night the message was always the same. The darkness of hatred, ignorance, and greed would eventually be obliterated by the light of love, truth, and understanding. Nadine thought it was a beautiful message. She hoped for the world’s sake, someday it would come true.

  Then the dream would take an erotic turn, and Nadine was ashamed to admit she found physical solace in the passion, although the effects often spilled over into her waking hours. It was in the daytime when the dream became a burden.

  There was such stark vividness surrounding the lovemaking she and Ulysses shared while she slept, that afterwards, during the first moments of her waking hours, she felt either totally satiated, or aroused to the point of frenzy. It was a burden because even on the nights she did not have the dream, it was most difficult fighting Ulysses’ presence in her daytime thoughts.

  Nadine believed during the day she was winning the battle by filling her time with the art camp, the farm, and Grandma Rose’s antiques. But at night she was totally helpless, completely swept away by the inner workings of her mind and heart, revealing to her what she knew to be true. She loved and missed him terribly.

  Chapter 33

  “Ulysses. Look at your hair, and your face,” Madame Deane said, her voice weak. She patted the bed beside her child-thin body. “Sit here and tell me, where did that handsome nephew of mine go?”

  Ulysses smiled slightly as he followed his aunt’s instructions. “He is here, Aunt Helen. I have been waiting for you to come back to us. You have been . . . sleeping for nearly two months now,” he said, holding her bony, cold hand. “Do you think you have had enough rest?” he teased, relief over her miraculous awakening apparent. The strain of her coma had left its mark on his face. Ulysses looked over at Catherine and Clarence who were standing quietly by the hospital door.

  “Two months. Has it been that long?” she asked, her eyes seeming to go out of focus. “I guess I am in need of my rest,” Madame Deane said, her words barely audible. “But let’s not change the subject. I want to talk about you.” Her weak eyes focused on his face. “Look at you. Your hair is too long. You have not shaved in days and your clothes look as if Catherine has not had her hands on them in God knows when. Why are you mistreating yourself so, Ulysses?”

  “I have been worried about you, Aunt Helen,” he replied, touching her cheek.

  “Now that is a half truth. It is not a lie,” she raised her index finger a bit, “but it is not the whole truth either.”

  Ulysses sat quietly watching her.

  “I wonder if your father and mother have been made aware of why the Five Pieces of Gaia were so important to our family and the cliff dwellers.”

  Ulysses listened, thinking his aunt’s mind was more unstable than ever. Still the mention of the Gaia set brought a sparkle to his dull eyes.

  “Oh, I do not know why I asked that.” Madame Deane closed her eyes. “I know they know. She told me they were aware of it.”

  Ulysses’ eyes searched her face.

  “Verda told me.” She opened her eyes again. “And I know for sure that I am not losing my mind.” Her lips turned up in a thin smile, her eyes lucid. “Your father knew the cliff dwellers would be important to you and to the island of Eros. Even though he did not know about the manuscript, he knew the Five Pieces of Gaia were connected with them and that’s why they were the most precious of his treasures. I did not know about the manuscript inside the stones until Verda told me, right before I conf
ronted you in the library.”

  “Well, somehow the Gaia set ended up back at Sovereign, but the manuscript had been removed. The bronze case was sitting by my bed when I woke up the morning Nadine . . . left.” It took effort to say her name out loud although he had thought about her more times than he cared to remember.

  “Nadine.” Helen Deane repeated the name. “I was right. She was the woman who was prophesied to come after Lenora. I was right.” Her voice trailed off.

  Ulysses leaned closer.

  “Yes.” The word sounded like an exhalation. “My brother knew the Five Pieces of Gaia would be important to you,” Madame Deane continued, her speech slow. “Somehow he knew through them you would find love, Ulysses.”

  “Love.” Ulysses mouthed the word, the look in his eyes distant.

  “Yes, love,” his aunt proclaimed, softly. “You love Nadine Clayton, Ulysses, and she is worthy of it.”

  The room grew silent and Ulysses noticed his aunt’s paper-thin chest was barely moving. “Aunt Helen. Aunt Helen,” he called gently and picked up her hand. Catherine began to sob softly in the background.

  Madame Deane’s eyes opened again. “Let me go, Ulysses.” Her voice was barely audible. “I will be happy with your father and mother, just as you will be happy if you go to Nadine,” Aunt Helen declared before her eyes shut for the last time.

  Chapter 34

  The wind caught the tail of Nadine’s skirt, and threatened to blow it up around her waist. She held the material down, forcing it to billow up between her stiffened arms. The warm breeze felt wonderful on her face as she leaned against the railing of the catamaran. Nadine secretly used the rail to keep the garment under control.