We found on a table on the other side of the room. While Parker settled in, I went to the register to see Bailey, now hot guy free. “Hey, you. Who was that?”
“Oh, the guy I was just talking to?” she replied, trying to play it cool. “He’s just a regular. Comes in here most Saturdays.”
I raised my eyebrows. “He’s cute.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” She flashed an embarrassed grin. “Anyway,” she began, clearly changing the subject, “what are you doing here on a weekend? You’re a strictly weekday girl around these parts.”
I nodded toward Parker, who had picked up a magazine and was leafing through it, looking at ease with the world. “I’m here with my boyfriend.”
Her face broke into a grin. “You’re back together?”
I nodded, happiness bubbling up inside.
“See? I told you it was worth talking to him. And now you’re going to fulfill the beach pact.”
“I am.”
Parker and I ate a delicious lunch together, luxuriating in our little love bubble. Once we’d drunk our coffee and were ready to go, Parker declared the Cozy Cottage as his second favorite café in all of Auckland. This was progress, although I clearly still had work to do convincing him of the error of his ways. After we said goodbye to Bailey and she gave me one final thumbs-up, we strolled hand in hand along the street, soaking up the warm spring air. We peered in shop windows and strolled through the Domain, a beautiful patch of greenery amidst the urban jungle.
Life felt good; it felt right. Just as long as I didn’t think about Will.
Only, I couldn’t stop him from popping into my thoughts. I found my mind wandering to what it would feel like to be with Will. I looked out the window of my house at the trees being buffeted around by a storm raging outside. I let out a long sigh. Will was messy. He wasn’t in the plan. It was so much easier to be with Parker. We were destined; we were right. Sure, we’d had some hurdles to leap over, but we’d done it and things were now great between us. Parker was my One Last First Date. He was it for me. Neat, orderly, organized. Just the way I liked it. It had to work out.
The following day, guilt-ridden and in serious need of distraction, I accepted Paige’s invitation to the Cozy Cottage Café. Although the very thought of seeing Paige had me twisted up in a series of tight knots, I told myself I needed to act as though nothing had happened with Will. Which of course it hadn’t—just an ill-advised kiss and some drunk talk he didn’t mean. No, Will wasn’t in his right mind when he said he loved me. He would have realized when he woke up the next day and probably felt thoroughly embarrassed about the whole thing.
Nevertheless, it was with trembling hands I pushed the door open to the café, just before ten in the morning. I sat down in our reserved spot and texted Paige, letting her know I was already here. I had given Bailey a brief wave on my arrival, ignoring her signal to come over and talk with her.
My phone beeped, giving me a surprise. I picked it up and smiled as I read a text from Parker, telling me he loved me and he’d see me for dinner tonight. I fired off a quick text and placed my phone back on the table.
“You have some explaining to do,” Marissa said, standing over me menacingly, her arms crossed.
“Marissa! I . . . did Paige invite you?” Suddenly seeing Paige felt like a pleasure cruise in comparison to having to answer Marissa’s inevitable questions.
She pulled out a chair and sat down opposite me. Her face was hard and uncompromising. I half expected her to pull a flashlight out of her purse and shine it in my face to begin her interrogation. Possibly throw in a thumbscrew, too. I knew I was in for a rough ride.
“I set this up. Paige is out of the office today on some Marketing thing. You haven’t been returning any of my messages or calls, so this was the best way. You need to give me answers.”
I studied my hands, the knots in my belly tightening. It was true: I’d been avoiding Marissa like she was the Black Death. Even though I didn’t know for sure, I suspected she’d seen me with Will that night we kissed. The fact she was now sitting opposite me, looking like a severe school teacher about to give me a hiding, confirmed my fears. “You mean about Will, right?”
“Of course I mean about Will,” she scoffed.
My heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name.
“And before you go denying anything, you should know I saw everything.”
I swallowed. “Oh.”
She crossed her arms and nodded, her lips pursed. “Talk.”
My chest tightened. “I don’t know why I did it. It was wrong, and I regret it. It didn’t mean a thing.” My annoying eye twitch made an appearance.
“Then why did you do it? You know how Paige feels about him.”
Guilt whacked me in the guts. I hung my head. “I know. I feel terrible.” I looked up at her. “You haven’t told her, have you?”
She shook her head. “I figured I’d give you a chance to explain yourself first.”
I tried to smile at her. “Thanks.”
Her gaze was ice cold. “I didn’t do it for you.”
“Okay.”
“So? What’s going on? Is he two-timing Paige? Are you two having an affair or something?” She raised her eyebrows in expectation.
I guffawed. “No!” I shook my head. “God, no. To be honest, I don’t really know how it happened. And believe me, I know that sounds like a total cop-out.” I thought of Will, and my tummy did a flip. I explained to Marissa how I’d found out he had resigned so I would get the job, how he’d told me all he cared about was my happiness.
“Why? Is he in love with you?” she half joked.
To my surprise, tears welled up in my eyes. I wiped them away.
“Oh, my god! He is, isn’t he?” She leaned back in her seat. “You’re the one.”
I nodded, grim. Will was in love with me. Paige would never talk to me again.
“Oh, poor Paige. We were convinced it was her, weren’t we? She’s going to be devastated.”
“I know.” I hung my head. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt Paige. She was the sweetest, kindest person I knew.
“Tell me exactly what he said.”
And so I did. I told her about how nice he’d been to me, about how I’d judged him without even knowing him. I told her about how we’d gone out for meals after golf, how he’d taken me to the Lady Gaga concert. As I talked, I felt an inexplicable sense of calm pervade my once knotted belly, a smile warming me in a way I hadn’t felt for some time.
Eventually, once I’d told her the whole sorry tale, she put her hand on mine. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she asked softly.
I stared at her, wide eyed. I was in love with Will? Was she out of her mind? “No!” I exclaimed with such force I shocked even myself. People at the table next to us stopped and stared. I tried desperately to swallow down a rising lump in my throat. “I love Parker,” I said in a quieter voice.
She arched one of her eyebrows. “Do you?”
I nodded as tears pricked my eyes. Of course I loved Parker! And he loved me back. Parker was the one I was meant to be with. He was right for me. Not Will. A tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away.
“Cassie,” Marissa said with such kindness I hung my head, my tears flowing, unable to stop them as they splashed onto the table. “Oh, honey. Here.” She handed me a napkin.
Was I in love with Parker? Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. Me, the girl who had her life mapped out so thoroughly, knew exactly when relationship milestones needed to be met, had clear, achievable goals in life. Me, the woman who had decided, even before our first date, Parker R. W. Hamilton was the man I was going to marry. All that effort, all that planning, everything. How could I not be sure?
I wrung my hands, my mind whirring. I’d been so desperate to push Will from my mind, my feelings had become completely scrambled in my head. I wiped my tears away and raised my chin, defiant. “It’s Parker I love.” It is. It has to be. I didn’t resear
ch Will. I didn’t spend hours ensuring he was the right guy for me. And he’s not Mr. Great-On-Paper the way Parker is: he doesn’t even come close. He’s arrogant and loud and rude. He calls me Dunny, for God’s sake. He’s not the man I could ever be with. Parker is. It’s Parker.
Marissa narrowed her eyes at me. “As long as you’re sure.”
I squared my shoulders, resolved. “I am.”
Chapter 24
AFTER “THE DAY THAT WAS”, as I began to refer to that Friday—you know the one, in which two men told me they loved me and I got the job of my dreams? Yeah, that one—I threw myself into my new job with such vim and vigor, it was like I was on a combined sugar-caffeine high one hundred percent of the time. I moved into my new office, claiming it as my space by hanging pictures on the walls and adding a few girly scatter cushions to the sofa. And I loved my new job. The responsibility of delivering sales targets within budget, of managing staff, of being a part of the decision-making executive team, did not faze me in the least. No, I relished it. I was the last to leave the office at night, and one of the first there in the morning.
In fact, I was so busy and focused on my new job I had to forgo my daily Cozy Cottage Café ritual with the girls. But I knew they’d understand. I was the boss now; I had big responsibilities. People to see, places to go. That and the fact I could barely look Paige in the eye after that kiss with Will.
And what he’d said to me.
She was still totally smitten with him, and I tried to be happy for her, knowing the truth about where his affections lay. Part of me wanted to tell her she was beating the wrong bush, barking up the wrong tree, and other horticultural slash canine metaphors. But why would she believe me? Unless I told her about that night, she’d dismiss my objections as me simply not liking him—because that’s what the world thought. And how could I ever break her heart that way? Telling Paige what had transpired between Will and me that evening could never have a good outcome. All I could do was hope Will would fall for her in time. And I could get out of jail for free.
But it was so hard to keep Will from my mind. Like some kind of hot guy ninja, he kept creeping up on my thoughts—his smiling face, his wry sense of humor, that incredible kiss.
On the plus side, Parker and I had entered a new phase in our relationship. With the whole Sara thing put to rest, it was like he was a new man: more attentive and more relaxed. Plus, I didn’t have to play golf or go to jazz clubs anymore, which was a huge relief. I could be me, and Parker loved me just the way I was.
I was on my way back from a meeting downtown when I had a sudden hankering for a slice of Bailey’s amazing flourless chocolate and raspberry cake. I may be the boss, but I’m still human. As luck would have it, I found a parking spot right outside the Cozy Cottage Café. It was a sign.
Walking in, I breathed in the aroma of coffee, treats, and that special, familiar Cozy Cottage Café scent I knew and loved so well. I waited in line to order, responding to the emails that had piled up while I was with a client. I tell you, people were constant communicators these days. One hour off-line and I had thirty-five emails requiring action. Thirty-five! Ridiculous.
“Hello, beautiful! Long time no see.”
I looked up to see Bailey, smiling at me from behind the counter, dressed in her usual red polka dot apron with a girly frill.
“I know. It’s so good to come here! I’ve totally missed you and this place.” I leaned across the counter and gave my friend a quick hug.
“Well, you look amazing,” she said, eyeing my new navy suit. “Management clearly suits you, Cassie Dunhill.”
I grinned at her. “Thanks. Yup, it’s pretty good being the boss.”
She let out an easy laugh. “You just missed Paige and Marissa, but Will’s here.”
I swear my heart completely stopped at the mention of his name. Bailey continued to chat about Marissa’s new hairstyle and other things, but all I could do was concentrate on breathing. In out, in out. Will was here? Now? Every part of my body tingled, and I could almost feel his eyes boring into my head, my soul.
I turned around and saw him, sitting at a table by the window, tanned and oh-so-handsome, his hair a little longer, dressed in a T-shirt and pair of shorts. Watching me.
He stood up. Without preamble, I took a step toward him, as though he had some kind of tracker-beam pulling me into him. As clichéd as I knew it was, I was powerless to resist. He took a few steps toward me, and within seconds, we were face-to-face, close enough to touch.
“Cassie.”
I swallowed, trying to steady my breathing, light-headed and dazed. “I—” I couldn’t think of a single word to say to him. Instead, I simply stood there, gawping at him, my head clouded by the very sight of him.
He reached out and took me by the hand. “It’s good to see you. How are you?” he asked.
I nodded, not trusting my voice to work.
He smiled. “Look, do you want to sit down and talk?”
I shook my head. In that moment, I knew what sitting down to talk would mean. It would mean letting him in. And I didn’t want to do that. No way. That was the very last thing I wanted to do.
My life was perfect. I had my dream job and Parker, my dream guy. We were in love, heading down the aisle in the not-so-distant future, I was certain of it. Parker had been my One Last First Date. Why would I want to sit down and talk with Will?
Abruptly, the sound of people talking, the smell of the food and coffee, the closeness of the café atmosphere, became too much for me. I needed to get out. Now. Without saying a single word to him, I turned on my heel and blindly headed to the door. I needed fresh air. And I needed to be far, far away from Will Jordan.
I took a step and pushed past a middle-aged woman, muttering an apology. I stumbled into a chair that hadn’t been pushed under a table fully. I rounded another table, the door mercifully in sight.
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
Seemingly out of nowhere, Bailey materialized in front of me, concern etched on her face. “Cassie? Are you okay?”
I nodded, knowing I looked anything but. “Gotta go.”
“Sure.” She stepped aside for me, and I staggered past, through the door and out into the fresh summer morning air. I took large gulps of it, as though I’d been holding my breath in there. Which, perhaps, I had.
I reached the tree a few feet from the café door and leaned up against it, feeling the rough bark with my fingertips, desperately trying to bring myself back to earth.
Oh, god oh, god oh, god.
Just as I began to gain my equilibrium, Will arrived at my side, gently taking my hand in his. “Cassie,” is all he said. Until that moment, I had never known so much could be embodied in one, single word. A world of hurt, of pain. Of love.
I could almost smell the smoke from the funeral pyre of my life as we stood in silence. Against my better judgment, I looked up into his rich, brown eyes. Why I did that, I will never know. Some part of me knew it would spell d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r with a capital D. But I did it anyway. He held my gaze and smiled at me. He didn’t say a word.
He didn’t need to.
You know how people who’ve had near-death experiences say they see their lives flashing before their eyes? Well, that’s what happened to me, standing under that big old tree, the two of us looking at one another, holding hands, not speaking. Not doing a thing.
I thought about the pact on the beach and how much it meant to me; of Parker and how I had wanted so badly for him to be The One; of Paige, poor, sweet Paige, who would be devastated by all this. And of Will.
In a beat, my mind went from a chaotic jumble to utterly calm, my belly unknotting itself. For the first time in a long time, I was clear.
It’s Will.
I bit my lip, my eyes still holding his gaze. A smile began at the edges of my mouth, growing until my face was aglow with happiness—and with love.
Why had I been fighting this? This was officially The. Best. Feelin
g. In. The. World—better even than Bailey’s flourless raspberry and chocolate cake. And if you’d ever had a slice, you’d know how good that was.
I nodded at him, still smiling like a love-struck idiot. “Okay.”
He grinned back. “Okay.” He reached his hand up and stroked my cheek.
“Give me some time to work things out?”
“Of course.”
With enormous reluctance, I let his hand fall to his side. “’Bye. For now.”
“See ya, Dunny.” His grin was atomic.
I let out a giddy laugh, so happy I could float away on a cloud. “See ya, ‘Poop Boy’.”
Chapter 25
I SPENT HALF MY time in the office the following day trying to work out what to say to Paige. Even though I knew she and Will weren’t dating, she still had major feelings for him, and the guilt was almost killing me. I kept telling myself I didn’t plan on falling in love with Will, but it didn’t make me feel any better about the situation.
Eventually, after chickening out so often I was in fear of being made into nuggets, I approached Paige’s desk. She was in the middle of a call. She looked up at me, standing in front of her, wringing my hands, and greeted me with a warm smile, her finger in the air to indicate she needed a moment.
I nodded at her and turned around, feigning interest in a photo of her with her team at a conference last year I’d seen many times before.
She finished her call. “Hey, Cassie. This is a nice surprise. We don’t get to see busy Ms. Regional Manager much these days.”
“Oh, I was just . . . in the neighborhood. You know.” I played with a pen sticking out of a mug on her desk. “Have you got a moment?”
She glanced at her watch. “Sure. Got a meeting at two thirty, though. What’s up?”
“It’s a gorgeous day. How about we take a walk?” I didn’t want to break her heart—and probably end our friendship forever—in the office.
A few moments of nervous small talk on my behalf in the elevator later, we walked through the revolving door, out into the morning sun. There was a small patch of green over the street, with a couple of unoccupied park benches, so I suggested we stroll over there and take a seat.
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