It was a simple moment, but the memory of it unbalanced her enough that she had to take a step to steady herself.
“Nick will never forgive me.” The words were out of Kate’s mouth before she realized she’d said them.
CHAPTER 64
“Kate, if you want to stay in a private office until you get your bearings, I can have my assistant show you,” Ruth Ann offered after a long silence. She’d been watching Kate as her emotions played out. Ruth Ann knew she’d finally hit pay dirt with Kate.
Kate put a hand up. “No, I need to go.” She ran out as if she were going to a fire or running from one.
The conversation from the past hour spiraled through her head. She raced to the elevator and slammed her hand on the button. Kate fought back a bitter fury and a need to pound on the walls of the elevator with her fists.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She wanted to know how to deal with her life, not revisit her old mistakes, and she certainly didn’t want to revisit a love she’d discarded like an old newspaper.
Ruth Ann was wrong. Of course she was. There was no way she was in love with Nick.
The elevator landed with a slight thud on the bottom floor and Kate got out. Her throat felt tight, like someone was gripping it.
She couldn’t breathe.
Outside, the day had almost turned to night. The sky was darkened by storm clouds that covered the city.
It was altogether too appropriate.
Kate stepped through the glass doors. She could smell rain in the air. Naturally, she had not brought her umbrella. A streak of lightening tore through the sky, and then she heard the crash of thunder. A chilled wind whipped through the trees, and a plump raindrop splashed down, then another, darting the pavement, echoing from the surface before settling into pools on the ground. Another loud and violent rumble shook the sky and a streak of lightening tore through it, burning through the morning air. Kate stood in the doorway of the medical office under the awning and she watched the storm unfold around it as though she were watching her life unfold. Angry thunder; violent storm.
Yes, that pretty much summed it up.
CHAPTER 65
When Kate finally got home, she was soaked. It’s almost impossible to get a cab when it’s raining in New York, so she didn’t even try. Subways were even worse. Sure, you were inside and on a train, but getting in and out of the subway entrances was always messy. The pouring rain did not let up, nor did the thunder and lightning.
It was a summer storm—a reprieve from the hot, sticky weather. Normally it would be welcome, but today it felt more like an omen. Kate longed for fall. Fall in New York was almost perfect. And by fall, God-willing, her life would be in a better place.
Well, a girl could dream.
Kate headed home to do some work; she was in no mood to go into the office. At least not right now.
She slipped the key in the lock and entered the quiet apartment. She set her bag down and headed straight to the bedroom to change.
Her phone dinged. It was a text from Mac.
You okay, Babe? I’m coming home early, and I have a surprise for you.
Great, a surprise, just what she needed. Kate was growing to hate surprises.
Yes, fine. Working from home. I’ll be here. xo
Kate set her phone down on the bedside table and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt—perfect attire to get a little work done, although she wasn’t really sure how much she’d actually accomplish.
You love Mac. I’m not denying that you do, but, my dear, the problem is that you love Nick more.
Ruth Ann’s words slapped her hard, and Kate tried to shake them off.
Of course, the doctor was wrong. There was no way in three or four sessions that she could nail something as big as that. Now she’d gotten Kate to wonder and question her feelings for Mac, which was insane.
Kate made a mental note to cancel her future sessions with Ruth Ann. Whatever. This whole therapist thing was just a bad idea. Sure, she’d gotten a few points right. Even a blind mouse will find a bite of cheese now and again. Kate shrugged it off. The whole idea was crazy, of course. Mac was clearly devoted to her. Maybe Mac’s surprise was that he planned to cancel the Paris trip.
Why, of course! That had to be it! He’d finally understood how hard this was.
Kate settled into her office chair and flipped on her laptop. As she began to ferret through emails, her mind resolved that that was, in fact, what was happening.
Mac would come through for her. She was certain of it.
. . . .
Despite the previous evening and the morning session with Hannibal Lecter of therapists, Kate got a lot of work done. She was handling the publicity for Vivienne’s book, The Summer We Died, personally. So far the requests for it had been tremendous. They had a planned November 12 release date, and so far sixty-five blogs had requested early copies. Kate planned to do a book cover reveal with a few key bloggers and a title laydown with Barnes & Noble, which had agreed to stock it. Book reveals and title laydowns were essentially the same thing. The blogger would “reveal” the book on a specific date. The bigger the title, the more enticing this was to the blogging community. A title laydown meant a book would be revealed, often in bookstores across the country, on the same date. Kate wondered how much longer this would be happening with bookstores as the numbers of them dwindled. It was a sad reality they were all facing. Over the last several years most in-house publicity departments had become so enamored with online promotion that bookstores became a sidebar note to many campaigns. Kate believed this was a big mistake, so much so that Kate spent a good part of her afternoon pitching many of the bigger independents, including her hometown favorite—Changing Hands, in Arizona where she’d grown up.
Kate didn’t hear the front door open or Mac walk inside. So when he stood in the doorway of their office and said, “Hey Babe,” she nearly jumped out of her chair.
Kate spun the desk chair around, “Mac, hi. I didn’t hear you come in.” He was carrying a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, Kate’s favorite. They were wrapped in shiny, light blue paper that really set off the sunburst of yellow. Mac was smiling that four-alarm-danger smile that she was never able to resist. Kate stood up and walked over to him.
“I love the flowers. Who are they for?” she joked. He bent his head down and kissed her hard, pulling her to him.
“They are for the love of my life…you,” he whispered into her lips. God, she loved him.
“I should put these in something…” She smiled, but Mac had a look in his eyes she knew all too well.
“I have a surprise for you,” he whispered, his breath warm on her face then her neck. Then he touched her earlobe with his lips. Her senses spiked, a lot.
He pulled a small, thin box out of his pocket and handed it to her.
“Mac, what is this?” she said as she opened it and a dozen diamonds blinked back at her. It was a platinum necklace with a burst of diamonds at the center. It was stunning.
Kate looked up at him and blinked. She was speechless. The necklace must have cost him a small fortune. “You shouldn’t have,” she said as the released it from the box and held it up so it winked in the light.
Mac pulled her closer and said, “It’s only a small token of what I have planned for you, and I bought this for you to wear on our wedding day.” He kissed her gently.
“I was an idiot last night. I’ve been an idiot this entire time. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve your love. I really don’t.” Mac shook his head and his eyes held a sadness that was unmistakable.
“It hasn’t been easy…” Kate’s voice drifted off. It was tight and brittle.
“Tell me we’re going to be okay, Katie, because this morning when you said this would end us…” His voice pitched slightly and his grip on her arms tightened, “I couldn’t live with that.”
Kate nuzzled his neck. They’d be fine. Of course they would, as soon as she could get the chatter of R
uth Ann’s voice out of her head and get back to being normal—just Mac and Kate without cancer or Paris or…Nick.
“We’ll be fine,” she whispered. “We’ll be fine.”
He kissed her again. “I need to show you how much I love you.”
Kate set the flowers on the table and wrapped both her arms around his neck. They kissed, and then she followed him to the bedroom where they made love, which made Kate’s heart soar. It was just what her beaten up mind and body needed.
When Mac explored her body, Kate felt a tiny click—it was her world falling into place again.
CHAPTER 66
She rested on Mac’s chest and listened to him breathe in and out as he gently stroked her hair.
“I’m sorry, Katie. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about you telling Grace or about her reaction.”
Kate felt a painful tendril of the night before, the memory of seeing Mac so mad, creep through her mind.
“I shouldn’t have expected this to go smoothly. I mean, I don’t know what I was thinking. Grace has issues with you, and it’s going to take some time.”
She thought about what she’d said. Who was she kidding? After this, Grace would never accept Mac, and it was something she’d have to learn to live with.
You love Nick more. Ruth Ann’s voice was in her head again, like an annoying mosquito buzzing around her head. She mentally swatted it away.
Mac turned on his side, sitting up on one elbow. “Kate, I get that we don’t need to belabor this, but I really got a message loud and clear: Life with me is not easy. I have a lot of baggage, and it’s a lot to ask any woman to take on. But you have. You’ve done so beautifully, and I love you so much for that.”
Mac kissed her on her forehead and continued, “I want us to get married. I’ve decided to just run with this instead of heaping another expectation on you, another thing to handle.” He smiled at her, “So, my surprise is that I’ve planned our wedding. We’ll do it in Mexico while we’re there, which is two weeks after I’m back from Paris. They do beautiful weddings in San Miguel, and I’ll fly out anyone you want—even Grace if she’s up for it. And then I thought afterward we can honeymoon in Cabo, since you’ve always wanted to go there.”
Wait. What?
Kate’s mind scrambled to catch up with what Mac was saying. He was still going to Paris and she was getting a Mexican wedding?
Kate didn’t respond for a long time. Finally, Mac said, “Kate? Are you okay? Did you hear what I said? We’re getting married in Mexico.”
Kate sat up holding the sheet around her. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around her legs.
“Mexico? I-I don’t know if I want to get married there.”
Mac smiled, “Then we’ll go somewhere else—anywhere else. France maybe? Or some quaint place upstate? You tell me and I’ll do it. The point is I want to plan this. Let me handle everything.”
Wait, Mexico after he was back from Paris? Had she heard that right?
“Y-you’re still going to Paris?”
Mac let out a small breath, “Well, of course. We leave tonight.”
We.
When Kate didn’t answer, Mac fell back on the bed and sighed. “Crap, Kate, don’t tell me you thought I was canceling the Paris trip?”
She nodded.
Mac touched her arm, “Look, Babe, I know this is hard, but I have to do this. And we talked about it. I mean, I know what happened last night, but I figured it was just a heated moment.”
Dr. Death’s voice echoed through her head, He’s a selfish man, Kate.
Something twisted inside her and snapped. She’d finally reached the end of her tether, and something pent up inside her roared to life like a waking dragon. Kate threw the sheet off to the side and got out of bed.
“No, Mac, you don’t have to do this. And yes, this is hard on me. Harder than you know.”
“I gave you the option to go, Kate.”
Kate yanked on her robe and spun around.
“I can’t go, Mac, and you know it. I’m in the middle of our fall launch and it’s a crucial time. Did you ever once think to ask me when might be a good time to go, Mac? I mean, you picked some arbitrary date and just tell me this is happening and I can either go or miss out on all the fun.” Kate emphasized the word ‘fun’ with a heap of sarcasm.
Mac sat upright. “Kate, this was the only time we could go. Dan and David are on summer break, and Carolyn is feeling really good right now.”
Kate gave a hurtful shrug. “Of course, how could I forget? Their schedules supersede mine or ours. We’re in the middle of a make-it-or-break-it season, and for months I’ve been carrying the load of Lavigne House while you’re off finding the perfect cure for Carolyn. And you know what? That was fine. I get it. It was very noble, but now I’m just…” Kate stopped short of saying she was just done, because she wasn’t really. She was just done with being last on Mac’s list.
Mac swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. It was almost hard to believe that not thirty minutes before they’d been in the throes of passion.
“You’re just what, Kate?” Mac asked, pulling on his shorts.
Kate sighed and dropped herself onto one of the two thickly padded chairs in their bedroom.
In a softer voice she continued, “I used to always feel like you had my back. Now I feel like you have someone else’s.”
Mac walked over to her and knelt down. “I’m sorry, Katie. I know I haven’t been the most supportive.”
Kate was silent for a moment and then looked at him directly and said in a very soft, brittle voice, “Please don’t go.”
“I’ll only be gone for a week—seven days; in fact, you’re so busy with Vivienne’s book, you won’t even notice I’m not here.”
She’d notice, of that Kate was certain. But Kate was too exhausted both mentally and physically to even respond to him.
CHAPTER 67
Mac had been gone for a total of three days. He’d called her daily and texted her pictures of him and his sons at various places in and around Paris. The Eiffel Tower, the Champs Élysées, and the Paris Opera House. No pictures of Carolyn, which she knew was intentional. Just because he didn’t send pictures, didn’t mean that Kate did not know that she was there with them. Being a happy family, or former family, or whatever. Kate tried not to think about it. She’d heard from Grace, who had sent her a box of what she called “apology teas.” It was sweet and typical Grace.
Kate tugged at her hair. Her chignon was a bit too tight and she attempted to loosen it. Tonight was the grand opening party of Nick’s stores. They were completed and the buzz around them was tremendous. Kate thought briefly that soon Nick would be going home. She hadn’t seen him in a month.
Funny how she’d kept track.
. . . .
The store was magnificent—two stories with an all-glass front on both levels. Standing outside, it gave the feel of a wide-open space. Nick had often said to her that this was his dream, a store that could breathe.
Kate wore an ivory silk dress that clung gently clung to her soft curves and shimmered when she moved. The neckline was a deep V that showed off the round of her breasts. The neck was beaded around the edges, adding an accent that helped set off the bodice. Her hair was up, with tendrils of it floating down touching her shoulders. Andrew, who was the most amazing friend ever, had flown in from Los Angeles so she wouldn’t have to face the night by herself. He wore a tuxedo and looked every bit as handsome as anyone could. His whole rock star persona seemed to fit this smooth, polished image. His hair was tousled in a way that made him look as though he was just about to get on stage and perform.
Andrew slid a reassuring arm around her waist. “You ready to go in, Love?”
Cars were pulling up outside, people getting out. She scanned the crowd for another familiar face—maybe other folks from Nick’s California stores, or perhaps Vivienne. She spotted several local morning show hosts and a few big celebrities who lived in N
ew York. The Lavigne name had a lot of pull thanks to Allan’s book, and because of that, everyone knew Nick, too.
“This was a mistake,” she said softly to Andrew, who was ushering her inside.
“No, Love, wearing a swan to the Oscars is a mistake. This is just something to get through. You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“I adore you.” She smiled up at him and tiptoed to give him a small peck on the cheek.
Andrew smiled, “Everyone does, Dahling. Get in line.” He winked at her. She could never have faced this night without him. Kate heard a female laugh above the din of conversation as they were escorted inside and handed their jackets and wraps to the coat check girls. The laughter was vaguely familiar, in a grating sort of a way. Then the clicking of heels on the new tile floors revealed a tall, leggy blond with a head of “come hither” hair that swirled around her shoulders.
Andrew leaned into Kate. “Who is that?”
“She looks familiar. I can’t quite place her…” Kate drifted off. She was certain she knew the woman, Suddenly, it hit her, “Oh, that’s right. She’s one of Nick’s store managers.”
“What’s she doing here?”
Kate shrugged, “Maybe helping him set up the stores?”
“Well, from the way she’s dressed, I’d say she’s doing a lot more than setting up the store.”
Kate bit her lip; the woman was stunning in an overdone sort of a way. Short dress, legs that went on forever. To her chagrin, the blond started walking towards them. A smile that Kate felt seemed a bit painted on creased her face.
“Kate, my dear, so glad you could make it.” The woman took both of her hands and pecked her on the cheek.
Kate still fought to recall the woman’s name.
“Stephanie,” she said finally.
The blond nodded and lied, “Yes, it’s good to see you again.”
She turned to Andrew, “And you must be Mac, the great and powerful.”
Climax: The Publicist, Book Three Page 25