My father, like my mother, wanted to be cremated. I respected his wishes, so Perry Funeral Home sent him to the crematorium wrapped up with a copy of his favorite painting, The Banjo Lesson, Henry O. Tanner’s tender chiaroscuro depiction in lemon yellow and cerulean blue of a grandfather teaching his young grandson to make music. My father’s ashes rest in peace along with his beloved Tanner.
My father had seemed to have died several times before rebounding. Every time he seemed to be leaving, we grieved. Each time his recovery allowed us a reprieve, again and again and again. Surely, by the time he died and did not recover, we were pre-grieved. In the first weeks of after-death paperwork, that almost seemed to be so. Then it was so not the case.
Glenn and I fell into absence’s pit whenever my father crossed our minds, whenever we passed Exit 10 to West Orange, when one of his favorite sayings came to mind or something that particularly pleased or annoyed him turned up. My father’s death drained my strength and ruined my voice. It knocked me down for a month before I could get off my couch and resume my life.
I resumed my life. I made art again. With art school behind me and my father safely dead—safe with my mother—I live and work in Newark, New Jersey.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Throughout art school and the writing of this memoir—hell, throughout my entire life—I’ve been fortunate and felt grateful for my parents and my friends and my good luck. It’s as though a shielding cover, a protective quilt of family and friends, saved me from misfortunes that might easily have come my way. To protectors beyond the edges of this work, I thank you.
I could not have thrown myself into art school without women, older women, who knew both the snares and the means of escape. Some were already friends, others I just knew that they existed and that they would help me. They did. Thank you.
Some names have escaped me, but many I gratefully recall: Elizabeth Alexander, Russell Ames, Emma Amos, Ellen Few Anderson, Jared Ash, Katrina Bello, Mary Bergstein, Bethany Baptist Church Deacons, Dawoud Bey, Kevin Bewersdorf, Camille Billops, Elena Borstein, Dionne Brand, Judith Brodsky, Marcia Brown, the late Donna Bruton, Abena Busia, Mary Ellen Capek, Hazel Carby, Barbara Chase-Riboud, Marcy Chevali, Susanna Coffee, Stephen Colbert, Dennis Congdon, Cicely Cottingham, Cathy Gaines Crump, Evonne Davis, Victor Davson, Jeanette Démeestère, Jessica Dickinson, Greg Drasler, Anna Edwards, Ottmar Ette, Lauren Ewing, Rochelle Feinstein, Diane Fine, Claudia Ford, the late Lucille Fornasieri-Gold, Terri Francis, David Frazier, Henry Ferreira, Jerry Gant, Bill Gaskins, Judy Glantzman, Sarah Granett, Farah Jasmine Griffin, Brooks Hagan, Sue Hallgarth, Daniel Harkett, Mildred Howard, Holly Hughes, the Irvins’ Family Folks, Erica James, Brian Jermusyk, Anthony Johnson, Jeremy Johnson, Tayari Jones, Mary Lu Kirsty, Joyce Kozloff, Key Jo Lee, Cyra Levenson, Jennifer Liese, Barbara Madsen, Sam Messer, Vikki Michalios, Katherine Min, Carrie Moyer, Mansa Musa, Randa Newland, Linwood Oglesby, Ferris Olin, Coleen Gutwein O’Neal, Frank Owen, Irving Petlin, Anna Plesset, Madeleine Polymeropoulos, Richard Powell, the late Clement Price, Mary Sue Sweeney Price, Andrew Raftery, Charles Ramsburg, Faith Ringgold, Carin Rodenborn, Hanneline Røgeberg, Joseph Ruck, Nicholaas Rupke, Duhirwe Rushemeza, Charles Russell, Leslie Sanders, Joe Scanlon, Mira Schor, Deborah Schwartz, Janet Shafer, Ruth Simmons, Duane Slick, Jacqueline Bryant Smith, Jeffrey Stewart, Robert Storr, the late Denise Thomasos, Angola Thomson, William Villalongo, Kara Walker, Michele Wallace, Paul Andrew Wandless, Ken Weathersby, Alison Weld, Anker West, Stephen Westfall, Laura Wexler, Adrienne Wheeler, Roger White, Iain Whitecross, Stanley Whitney, Emma Wilcox, Didier William, Deborah Willis, Alexi Worth, Michele Zachheim, and Kevin Zucker.
My work—this book, especially—needed its sheltered time at Yaddo, the Ucross Foundation, and the MacDowell Colony. Once the book was done, the ebullient team at Counterpoint Press, notably my editor Jennifer Alton and Lena Moses-Schmitt, Sarah Baline, and Wah-Ming Chang turned the processes of publication into pleasure. Jacqueline Ko remains indispensable.
I would have self-destructed without my Very Special People. Sarah Lewis, Sarah Chalfant, Meena Alexander, Debra Balken, Thadious Davis, and Glenn Shafer deserve outsize appreciation for helping me survive art school and learn a new way of writing. Thank you for standing beside me over many years of everything.
LIST OF IMAGES
1. I Hope I Look That Good When I’m That Old, 2002, Dona Irvin photo by Ron Carter, 9" × 6"
2. Ghana Drawing of Girl, 1964–1965, graphite on paper, approx. 10" × 8"
3. Ghana Drawing of Man, 1964–1965, graphite on paper, approx. 10 ¼" × 7 ½"
4. Ghana Drawing 3, 1964–1965, graphite on paper, approx. 7 ½" × 10 ¼"
5. Red Hat, 2003, oil on canvas, approx. 12" × 16"
6. Gray Scale, 2003, oil on canvas, approx. 24" × 18"
7. Blue Boxes, 2003, oil on canvas, approx. 24" × 18"
8. Still Life with Red Pot, 2004, oil on canvas, 9" × 12"
9. Figure with Shadow, 2004, oil on canvas, 12" × 9"
10. Newark Penn Station, 2006, paper collage, approx. 18" × 24"
11. Faux Chinese Scroll, 2006, oil on canvas in two pieces, each 12" × 48"
12. Positive Historical Silhouette, 2006, paper collage, approx. 8" × 10"
13. Negative Historical Silhouette, 2006, paper collage, approx. 8" × 10"
14. Sojourner Truth + Franz Schubert Territory / Wein York City and Rivers, 2003, felt pen and collage on paper, approx. 8" × 8"
15. My Neel’s Ringgold, 2007, oil on canvas, approx. 24" × 18"
16. My Beckmann’s Self-Portrait, 2007, oil on canvas, approx. 20" × 18"
17. Peale Drawing 1, 2008, ink on paper, 23" × 18"
18. Peale Drawing 3, 2008, ink on paper, 23" × 18"
19. Peale Drawing 2, 2008, ink on paper, 18" × 23"
20. Peale Drawing 4, 2008, ink on paper, 23" × 18"
21. Hokusai Composite Drawing, 2008, ink and graphite on paper, 18" × 24"
22. Colescott Mountain Composite Drawing, 2008, ink, graphite, and colored pencil on paper, 18" × 24"
23. Ro, 2008, ink on paper, 7" × 5"
24. Frank and Dona Irvin at Their Seventieth Anniversary, Oakland, 2007, digital photograph
25. MFB, 2008, ink and oil stick on paper, 6" × 9"
26. Pan in Brooklyn, 2008, ink on paper, 22 ½" × 30"
27. Ruth Disappears, 2008, ink and white conté crayon, 18" × 24"
28. One Hundred* Drawings for Hanneline, 2008, mixed media, dimensions variable
29. Brooklyn Beach People, 2008, ink on paper, 22 ½" × 30"
30. Paper Readers, 2008, ink on paper, 22 ½" × 30"
31. Tubman Memorial, New York City, 2008, graphite on paper, 12" × 13 ¾"
32. Self-Portrait Quilt Collage, 2008, graphite, acrylic, and conté crayon on paper, 19 ¼" × 24 ½"
33. Providence Manhole Cover, 2009, compressed charcoal on paper, approx. 36" × 36"
34. Long Piece, 2009, ink and paper collage on paper, 6" × 71 ½"
35. Twentieth-Century Drawing, 2008, ink and graphite on paper, 24" × 18"
36. Jackson and Belvedere, 2009, hand-colored screen print, approx. 24" × 48"
37. Left detail of Jackson and Belvedere, 2009
38. Right detail of Jackson and Belvedere, 2009
39. The World Is Falling Down Take My Hand, 2010, ink on paper collage, approx. 15" × 18"
40. Embarrassment of Riches, 2009, ink and acrylic paper collage, approx. 24" × 48"
41. Sylvia Boone Drawings, 2009, ink on paper, each panel 10" × 8"
42. Three-sided Woe sculpture, 2009, ink and collage on plastic, each side 12" × 12"
43. Chapter Revised, 2006, manuscript page, fabric, and thread on paper, 12" × 9"
44. Alternator Self-Portrait, 2007, graphite and colored pencil on paper, 33" × 23 ¼"
45. Wonky Black Sea Map, 2009, ink on paper, 14" × 17"
4
6. Page 26 of The History of White People, 2010. Four 2008 drawings are ink and graphite on Yupo, 12" × 9"
47. Dog-head, 2009, lithograph, approx. 5" × 7" × 2"
48. Golda’s Sciopod, 2009, lithograph, approx. 5" × 12"
49. Cover, SIGNS, 2010
50. Cover, Fierce Departures by Dionne Brand, 2009
51. Cover, Chronicles: Early Works, 2011
52. Cover, Southscapes: Geographies of Race, Region, and Literature, 2011
53. Self-Portrait 3, 2010, acrylic on board, 12" × 12"
54. Self-Portrait 5, 2010, acrylic and collage on paper, 12" × 12"
55. Self-Portrait 10, 2010, acrylic and collage on paper, 12" × 12"
56. Self-Portrait 11, 2010, acrylic and collage on paper, 12" × 12"
57. Self-Portrait 12, 2010, acrylic and collage on paper, 12" × 12"
58. Self-Portrait 16, 2010, acrylic and collage on paper, 12" × 12"
59. Beauty + the Sublime: Jackson, 2010, acrylic on unstretched canvas, 60" × 60"
60. Sublime: Apollo, 2010, acrylic on unstretched canvas, 60" × 60"
61. Unfashion drawing 5, 2010, colored ink and collage on Yupo, 9" × 12"
62. Unfashion drawing 8, 2010, colored ink and collage on Yupo, 9" × 12"
63. Unfashion drawing 9, 2010, colored ink and collage on Yupo, 9" × 12"
64. Unfashion drawing 11, 2010, colored ink and collage on Yupo, 9" × 12"
65. Bedside Collage 2, 2010, colored ink and collage on paper, 7" × 10"
66. Bedside Collage 5, 2010, colored ink and collage on paper, 7" × 10"
67. Bedside Collage 1, 2010, colored ink and collage on paper, 7" × 10"
68. Lake Clear Drawing Ecclefechan, 2010, colored ink, gouache, and collage on Yupo, 11" × 14"
69. Lake Clear Drawing Lapouge’s Anthroposociology, 2010, colored ink, gouache, and collage on Yupo, 11" × 14"
70. Lake Clear Drawing 1, 2010, colored ink, gouache, and collage on Yupo, 11" × 14"
71. Plantains 1, hand-painted acrylic on digital archival print on canvas, 36" × 36"
72. Plantains 2, hand-painted acrylic on digital archival print on canvas, 40" × 40"
73. Studio Postcard, digital media, 4 ¼" × 6"
74. Nature of Life April, 2010, acrylic on canvas on panel, 30" × 36"
75. Nature of Life, 2010, acrylic on canvas on panel, 36" × 36"
76. New Dogs Symmetrical, 2015, digital collage on paper, 48" × 96"
77. Second Man Walled and Windowed, 2011, acrylic on canvas on panel, 40" × 40"
78. Second Man Drawn, 2011, acrylic on canvas on panel, 40" × 40"
79. Back Man 1, 2011, acrylic, oil stick, and collage on canvas, 40" × 40"
80. Meena’s Book, Grandmother’s, 2011, acrylic on canvas, 12 ¼" × 15 ¼"
81. Back Man + Cook Drawing 1, 2012, graphite and acrylic on paper, 30" × 60"
82. If God Has Bestowed Beauty, 2012, conté crayon and graphite on paper, 24" × 18"
83. History Does Not, 2008, lithograph on BFK Rives paper, 8" × 8"
84. Black Sea Composite Map 4 Historic Map, 2012, acrylic on Yupo, 26" × 40"
85. Black Sea Composite Map 7 Washed Away, 2012, acrylic on Yupo, 26" × 40"
86. Happy Birthday Thadious Davis, 2014, accordion artist book on paper, 6" × 38 ½"
87. Thirty-three Laps Book, 2014, accordion artist book on paper, 6" × 38 ½"
88. Bathroom Book for Meena, 2014, accordion artist book on paper, 6" × 38 ½"
89. Art History by Nell Painter Volume XXVII #10 Frobinius, 2015, digital collage, 48" × 34"
90. Locke Ancestral Arts, 2015, digital collage, 48" × 35"
91. New Negro Stomps Fuller, 2015, digital collage, 48" × 32"
92. Palmer Hayden + Harmon, 2015, digital collage, 48" × 38 ½"
93. Art History by Nell Painter Volume XXVIII, page 6, 2015, 12" × 12"
94. Art History by Nell Painter Volume XXVIII, page 3, 2015, 12" × 12"
95. Princeton Self-Portrait, 2015, charcoal on paper, 10 ¼" × 8"
NELL PAINTER is the Edwards Professor of American History, Emerita, at Princeton University. Her acclaimed works of history include Standing at Armageddon, Sojourner Truth, and the New York Times bestseller The History of White People, which have received widespread attention for their insights into how we have historically viewed and translated ideas of value, hierarchy, race, and gender. She holds an MFA from the Rhode Island School of Design and a BFA from Mason Gross School of the Arts. Her visual artwork has been shown at numerous galleries and in collections, including the San Angelo Museum of Fine Art, the Brooklyn Historical Society, and the Smith College Museum of Art. She lives in Newark, New Jersey, and the Adirondacks.
1 If you want to see the whole panoply of achievement, check out my website, www.nellpainter.com, or look at my Facebook page.
2 Valerie Smith is now the president of Swarthmore College.
3 By “The Art World” I mean the important museums and galleries that bestow visibility and money on selected artists, virtually all white men. Without caps, the phrase means everything in and around art, regardless of sex and race and wealth and prestige.
4 Now renovated and rechristened “Ironside Newark” in gentrifying fashion.
5 Paper is one of artists’ basic supports, the thing you make your image on, such as paper, canvas, linen, and board. Paper is what you use for drawing, the others, for painting. Tooth refers to the texture of paper’s surface, the more tooth, the less smooth. Laid paper has a grid of fine lines in its surface, watermarks from the way the paper is made. Wove paper has no such marks.
6 Interestingly, Lucas Cranach’s names are instrumental. His family name was Maler, or “painter,” and Cranach is a rendering of his birthplace of Kronach. If I lived in Cranach’s time and town, Maler would be my last name, too.
7 In case you want to know, in 1676 the Zaporozhian Cossacks, having defeated the Ottoman Empire’s sultan, sent him a letter full of profanity. In the painting, the uncouth Cossacks revel in their crude insults to a highly civilized sovereign.
8 Nell Irvin Painter, introduction to The Secret Eye: The Journal of Ella Gertrude Clanton Thomas, 1848–1889, edited by Virginia Ingraham Burr (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 1990).
9 Pregnancy changes hormonal balance and saps calcium from the mother’s body to nourish the growing fetus. Unless the mother is well nourished enough to replace the calcium in her body, pregnancy’s cost to the mother is paid by her teeth and bones.
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