My body is stiff and weak but I push myself up from the toilet and lean over the basin once again.
After using some toothpaste and mouth wash I finally take another look at myself in the mirror.
My once blond hair is so dirty and oily that it’s almost a sandy blond now. I have dry blood caked on my forehead near my hairline. My cheekbone has a dark blue bruise on and my nose is almost purple making it stand out against my pale skin. My eyes.... oh god my eyes!
I lift my fingers up to touch the dark skin beneath them. I rub the skin a little, nope it’s not dirt. The dark circles under my eyes are evidence of the neglect my body has been through these past few days. I squeeze them shut as I back away from the mirror. I strip down and turn the tap off in the tub.
The bathwater is hot and my skin soaks up all the water as I climb in. I rest my chin on my knees and watch as the steam from the hot water rises then disappears.
The mirror steams up and so do the windows. I close my eyes and rest my forehead onto my bent knees as I feel the tears falling down my damp skin. I breathe in the steam of the water beneath me, my pores open and I feel my dirty dry skin soaking up as much moisture as it can get.
I remove my hands that hold my knees against my chest and lean down against the end of the bathtub as I sink into the water. Letting the water soak my hair, I lift my hand up to my neck and rub it roughly trying to get the memory of Dex licking and touching me there out of my head. It doesn’t work. I grab the bottle of shampoo next to the tub and use most of what’s left in the bottle on my scruffy, dirty hair. I scrub ferociously making sure all the blood and gunge is out, whilst crying my eyes out. I start scrubbing my body; it’s only been a few days that I haven’t eaten but my body feels thinner, my breasts smaller too. By the time I’m done cleaning up, my skin is scrubbed raw and the hot water has cooled but I do feel much cleaner.
I grab the clothes I took from Anna’s room and put them on. It’s only a pair of jeans, a soft black polo neck and a pair of sneakers I left here a while back. The clothes feel loose on me and I should probably want to eat but I’m too worried about Willow to even fathom the thought of eating. I put my hair up in a damp bun on the top of my head, I don’t have the energy to try and get a brush through the mess right now.
I just make it into the bedroom when a hand grabs around mine, I duck and cover my face for protection not caring how weak I look in that moment.
“Harley... Not going to hurt you. Not anymore.” Jace whispers softly as his hold on my hand loosens into a soft stroking gesture. I look up into his sad confused eyes.
He looks down, removes his hand then clears his throat. His eyes turn dangerously dark. “You said the President... touched you. You sure it was the president?” He forces out with a serious voice.
“The old man with the long grey beard is the president right? It was him.” I whisper, nodding my head. It sends chills down my spine at the slightest mention of that revolting bastard.
Jace only grunts, nodding at someone behind me before strutting away. I turn to see Hunter standing in the doorway. He moves into the room allowing Jace to pass him, closing the door behind him. I swallow and my eyes zone in on the water bottle he holds in his hands. The condensation that covers the bottle makes my mouth water. He reaches out with the bottle in his hand as I look down at the bottle and then up at his face.
“Take it.” He says softly. “I know what hunger and dehydration looks like…” looking down at the floor as he whispers. “I know what it feels like…”
I’m still so angry with him, but my thirst overrides my anger and I reach for the bottle and greedily open it, the bottle cold under my fingertips. I sit on the side of the bed and slowly bring my lips down to the open bottle. Memories of Dex rush in but I push them aside and close my eyes as the cold water slides down my parched throat.
“Shhh... Slow down Princess. The water isn’t going anywhere. You’ll make yourself sick drinking like that.” I feel Hunter’s hands gently over my head then I feel the bed dip next to me as his hand softly strokes my back. I shut my eyes tight when I get brain freeze, my teeth stinging from the cold water against them. I drop my head and put the cap on the bottle.
“I’m so sorry Princess.” I hear a sob to my right and find Hunter hunched over with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees as his body moves with silent sobs. I curl my fist in a tight ball, I’m so mad at him for not keeping his word but the sadness emanating from him only makes me sadder. I don’t like seeing this tough guy upset, I hate seeing him cry like a baby in front of me like this. I gently place the water bottle on the floor at my feet and turn my attention over to Hunter.
“I know I gave you my word. Told you I’d look after your man, I tried but Grimm had plans. The Stowaways know all of us; I couldn’t have gone with him. Caleb wanted to do this alone, we had it all planned. No harm was to come to him and none did. He is safe Harley. But you... you weren’t... and...” he stutters bringing his tear filled eyes up to meet mine.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, we didn’t know where you were at. We haven’t had communication with Caleb since the night he won that fight and Avery got him to see her father at their compound. We’ve been looking for you ever since Anna got home and found you gone. I thought you did one of your disappearing acts and needed time alone. Then tonight, you come walking in looking like that and I knew. God! I fucking knew. I should have listened to Anna… you would never leave without Willow. I’m such an idiot Harley. I should have gone looking. I’m so fucking sorry.” He covers his face with his hands and I wrap my arms over his shaking shoulders and rest my head on his shoulder.
I try to calm him like I do when Willow cries, like you would a child. “Shh Shh... It’s okay. I’m okay. Don’t cry.” I rock him and he wraps his arms around me and cries into my chest.
“Love you Harley, you’re my family, the sister I never had. I don’t want any harm to come to you Princess. Ever.” His words bring tears to my eyes and I wrap my arms tighter around him, holding him close. His big body overwhelms mine, but I use all the strength I have to hold him up against my chest.
“Love you too Hunt, You’re my family, always will be.” I kiss the top of head.
He finally pulls away from me and once he’s done wiping all his tears away, his eyes are left swollen and red but he’s still just as handsome as he ever was.
He looks back down to me and a frown forms as he looks my body over. It’s not lust filled or anything remotely close to is. His look is one filled with worry and concern.
“You need to eat Harlz.”
“I can’t eat right now. I need to see Willow and make sure Caleb’s safe.” I say.
“He’s fine. I told you he was safe, he managed to get away before people figured out you were gone.” Hunter says pulling the curtain open to look out the window.
I let out a breath of air thanking God for keeping Caleb safe. I’m glad he’s okay but I’m not ready to see him yet. I don’t have the strength for that, I just can’t do it. After all the lies and shit he’s kept from me... I’m not ready to see him again.
“Where’s Willow? I need to see her.” I ask making my way to him.
“She’s at your place with Anna; we thought the familiar surroundings would be better for her. I’ve been staying with them the entire time you guys were gone. She’s been asking about you both, I just kept telling her you would both be home soon.” He says sounding sad.
“Well let’s go, take me to her.” I start walking for the door when he gently grabs my elbow.
“It’s already three in the morning? You sure you want to wake her up looking like that?” He gestures to my face where the bruises are.
“I need to see her Hunter.” Yes I’m worried about her reaction, I don’t ever want to scare her but I need to have my little girl in my arms.
Chapter 9
Anna holds me tight and starts spouting off about how terrible I look. To get her out of my hair I as
k her to make me something to eat. She eagerly rushes off to make me something, not caring that it’s nearly four in the morning.
I fucking love that woman.
I smile to myself as I tip toe up the dark stairs towards Willow’s room. She isn’t there though and I start panicking when I don’t find her in any of the spare rooms.
I let out a huff of breath, when I find her snuggled in the middle of my bed under the covers holding her teddy tight to her chest, her black hair splayed over the white pillow cases. I bend over and give her a kiss on her forehead. I hear her little breaths and watch her chest rise and fall in her deep sleep. I don’t close the door fully as I leave the room. I want to cuddle up to her and hold her but I don’t want to wake her up right now. She’s sleeping too peacefully so I’ll climb in with her in a little while.
Anna won’t stop asking me questions and I try to answer them as best I can without telling her all the gritty parts. I don’t want her to worry about me more than she already is. She forces me to eat, but I can only manage to get a little food in without feeling sick.
Anna returns to the guestroom after yawning and nearly falling asleep next to me on the kitchen counter. I walk past Hunter, finding him passed out on the couch in the lounge with episodes of South Park playing on the television.
I quietly sneak out the sliding doors toward the back porch and head down to the beach.
My toes curl into the sand as I gently sit down. The bun in my hair is giving me a headache so I pull it out leaving my hair to swish around in the breeze. I close my eyes and lean my head back listening to the crashing sound of the waves and water as it soothes me.
Through the sound of the waves and the silence of the night I hear the sound of footsteps on the wood of the stairs behind me that lead to the beach. I turn around in a panic and find Caleb walking in my direction. When his eyes meet mine he pauses.
I move to stand, taking in my surroundings.
I love Caleb, no doubt about it but after what’s happened this past week my feelings are all fucked up. He’s never hurt me physically before, but then again I didn’t think Jace would hurt me and he did. I remember the way Caleb tried to catch me, I remember Dex and the way he had his hands on me and then I think about his father.
My heart beats faster, my breathing deepens, my fists curl up and I look to the side towards the bank that leads to the neighbour’s house. It’s quite a run but I can make it if I tried hard enough.
“Don’t even think about it.” Caleb says in a calm steady voice. I turn my attention back to him and he’s already taking his shoes off.
I don’t think about it... I just do it.
I sprint as fast as my legs will take me on the soft sand. “Fuck!” I hear Caleb say, as he takes off after me. I don’t get far before he tackles me to the ground.
“Get off me!” I yell pushing at his chest as he straddles me. Panic creeps in at the familiar feeling of being restrained.
“Calm down and hear me out!” He makes a move to get off and I use the opportunity to push him off of me, I crawl away but just as I get one of my feet flat on the sand to stand he grabs my ankle and tugs me back.
I scream and kick as the tears fall; I’m losing my strength to fight back. I beg him to get off me and he finally does but only to pull me onto his lap, holding me tightly and wrapping his arms around me. My attempts at getting away fail as he continues to hold me in his arms rocking back and forth whispering in my ear.
“Not going to hurt you baby. Calm down. I love you.” His attempts to calm me only make me cry harder and I push at his chest.
“No! Don’t say that! You don’t love me. Look at all that you’ve kept from me, you allowed them to...to... you allowed him to lock me down there. If it wasn’t for Dex’s chocolate bars I probably would’ve starved!” His rocking stops, I know I’m being dramatic but I don’t care. His hands that are wrapped around me tighten and he moves his head from where it rested on my hair to look at me.
“They didn’t feed you? You had nothing, other than what Dex gave you?” He asks quietly.
“No! Dex snuck in candy bars and a little water but it didn’t do much. I was locked in that fucking cage, it was so dark...” I drop my forehead to his shoulder letting my tears soak his shirt. I whisper, “It was so dark Caleb... I was so scared.”
“Fuck!” I feel his body shaking as he gently takes the hair from my shoulder and moves it away. I feel his lips on my ear as he moves them to my cheek, kissing me gently, his entire demeanour changing from angry to pained and worried.
“I should have spoken to you sooner, should have told you my plans. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew what your reaction would be. I didn’t want you to worry and I needed to prove myself to the club. Grimm said I had to earn a place in his club and what better way than to sneak into the rival club and get all the information Grimm needed to take them down. I should have told you and for that I’m truly sorry Harley.” He says so softly.
“You lied to me Caleb, you kept things from me. No more lies Caleb! You said no more lies, and keeping shit from me is in the lying category.” He wipes my tears away as I rest my hands on his shoulders and sit up straight. I’m so relieved that he’s okay.
“I know baby, it is all the same but I couldn’t get you involved. I didn’t think they were going to take you. When I saw you there and what they did to you.” He brushes his hand across the bruise on my cheek bone, over to my nose then down to where my lip is split.
“I nearly blew that place to shit. Was going to ruin the whole operation but I had to follow through with what I went there to do. I tried sneaking down there a couple times to see you but a few guys kept stopping me. When I caught him…” he shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut.
“When I saw where they were keeping you, I didn’t care about the plans I had to follow. I was going to get you out and no one was going to stop me. I just had to make sure the guards were preoccupied. When I came down to get you out and caught that fucker on top of you. I lost it. Hit him so hard I was sure I killed him but when the others found out you were gone they said he was okay…” My body tenses at his words. He’s still alive. He can still find me, get to me and hurt me.
“No!” Caleb says, as if reading my thoughts. He places his warm hands on either side of my cheeks forcing me to look at those pretty green eyes of his. I lift my hand slowly and run my index finger above his left eyebrow where a lump has formed and a little red cut with dried blood lies. I know I was the one to cause the mark when I kicked him with that car door.
Caleb shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “He won’t ever come after you. I won’t ever let him hurt you again. Jace has gone after him and Hunter is good when it comes to tracking people when they don’t want to be found and the old man is hiding.” Caleb rests his forehead against mine and I take in a deep breath taking in his smell, his familiar smell. I close my eyes and pull away from him as he reaches out for me.
“No…this is so hard for me Caleb. So fucking hard…I have so much shit going on in my head right now. All the lies and things you have kept from me? I love you so much Caleb but I need to start thinking about my wellbeing and Willow’s happiness. No matter how much I love you, I won’t stay in a relationship where the Club comes before Willow and I. You should have seen Willow when you were gone Caleb, she couldn’t understand why her daddy wasn’t there when she went to bed at night or when she woke up in the morning. It was horrible and I never want to experience that again Caleb.” I stand up and look down at him sadly. “Just give me a little time to think….”
CALEB POV
I sit there and watch her walking away further down the beach. I know I messed things up but I don’t think I realised just how far I went. I should have been honest with her from the beginning… but it’s too late for what ifs. I’ve missed spending time with both Willow and Harley since I’ve been helping Grimm at the club. I don’t know what I was thinking… after sneaking out of the compound, I
headed directly to Grimm. I told him that my family comes first, that they will always be ahead of the club on my list of priorities. Grimm agreed, said he wished that he had put his family first too. Harley must have giving him one hell of a lecture when she got back because I’ve never seen the man look so upset before.
Fuck this…I didn’t fight hard enough for her the first time we split up. I’m sure as hell not gonna let her slip through my fingers again. I’m going to make sure she knows how much I’m willing to work on this relationship…how I’m willing to let everything else go if that’s what she wants, if that’s what will make her stay and not leave me.
I run down the dark beach in the direction she headed and I find her staring out at the ocean, sitting on the sand with her knees under her chin and her arms wrapped around them. She’s so deep in thought that she doesn’t even notice me coming.
I kneel in front of her; she shakes her head but finally looks into my eyes.
“I know you asked for space baby, but I don’t want you sitting here alone thinking up all the reasons why you should leave me. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, please… I just want to make us right again. No more secrets…”
HARLEY POV
“Before we start with what’s recently been going on, there’s something that has been playing on my mind ever since the day we met at the park. I know we said we weren’t going to go back and let shit from the past come between what we have now but the truth is, I don’t think I can move on from what happened between us back then… unless I know everything.” He wears a confused expression, I lift my hands up gesturing for him to hush.
“What exactly went down between you and Ashley? That day at the park, it looked as if you two were together?” I shake my head remembering that day.
A Broken Beautiful Beginning Page 15