"We can't." Athena said.
Janey huffed. "Fine."
"Achy Breaky Adaptive Shield…" DK said, reading off a shield name. "Oh! Anshin! I found one!"
"Nice!" Diddy said. "Scan this one!" He held up a shield.
"Bulet Etr Sheeld." DK read. "Um… That spelling is miserable."
"That's a Bandit shield." Athena said. "Primitive names, primitive spelling."
"No kidding." DK said.
Yoshi & Yoshi Jr: Father/Son (Highlands – Blake Bridge)
"Detour… Shields Raising or Guns Blazing." Yoshi read. "Let's try Guns Blazing."
"Sounds like a plan." Jr said. Yoshi began to drive the technical across the Highlands.
"I wonder what a Constructor eye looks like." Yoshi said.
"Probably an eye." Jr said.
"Thanks, son. Big help." Yoshi said, his voice brimming with sarcasm.
"Glad to be of service!" Jr chuckled.
CJ & Shaylene: Dating (Detour – Guns Blazing)
"Dang! Found a Jakobs." Shaylene said, kicking open a box and finding a simple revolver.
"If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs." CJ said. "Man that revolver served me well when we were here before."
"I wonder what happened to all our stuff." Shaylene said.
"Me too." CJ said. "Our ECHOs just kind of vanished when the monolith brought us back to Earth."
"Oh my Din! No way!" Shaylene exclaimed.
"What? What is it?" CJ asked. Shaylene held up a black shotgun with a fancy-looking round sight and a single red stripe down the center of the gun. "Is that the Conference
Call?!" CJ grabbed the weapon out of her hands and examined. "It is! It's the friggin' Conference Call!" He pointed it toward the sky and pulled the trigger. A hail of projectiles
fired out in several different directions, many of them crossing paths.
"Again. Keep it in your pants, Hyperion fanboy." Shaylene said.
Athena & Janey / DK & Diddy (Detour – Shields Raising)
"This is insane. I feel like we've kicked open every box in the city." Athena said.
"Found another Maliwan." Janey said.
"What? Where?" Athena asked.
"In a mailbox." Janey said.
"I didn't know we were checking mailboxes!" DK said.
"Me neither!" Athena said.
"Found one!" Diddy said.
"Boo yeah!" DK said.
Yoshi & Yoshi Jr: Father/Son (Opportunity)
The Yoshis drove into the city and were dropped on the ground as their technical vanished.
"Ow! A little warning would be nice!" Yoshi exclaimed.
"No kidding." Jr said.
"So, we need to find that eye thing and… Jakobs weapons." Yoshi said.
"Hey, I see the Sages!" Jr said.
"We caught up to them?" Yoshi asked. "Perfect."
Athena & Janey / DK & Diddy (Detour – Shields Raising)
"Boom. Found another one." DK said.
"Neato, a Fire Spike Shield." Janey said.
"This looks like a Maliwan." Athena said, pulling another shield out of a mailbox.
"That makes five!" Janey exclaimed. They rushed over to a nearby platform. In the center of the platform was a large hole, and inside they could see a few large rotating
blades and various mechanical parts. "Time for grindin'." They dropped the shields in the hole and within a few moments, five transparent shield chunks were flung from the machine.
"Okay, so we need to bring these shield cores to Karima." Athena said. The Pandorans ran to a small building attached to a tall clock tower. Waiting outside was a woman with
shoulder-length dirty blonde hair and wearing a flower crown and simple gray jacket and jeans. Janey handed her the shield chunks, which she tossed into a nearby box.
"Overlook thanks you." The woman, Karima, said. "Here is your clue." She held out a clue envelope, which Athena took from her and tore open.
Athena & Janey: Engaged – Currently in 1st (The Highlands – Overlook)
"Fast Travel to the city of Sanctuary and make your way to the Pit Stop: Moxxi's." Athena read.
"Upon completing the Detour, teams must Fast Travel to the flying city of Sanctuary and search for the Pit Stop: Moxxi's bar." Toadsworth narrated. "The last team to check
in here… may be eliminated. However, the unique Sanctuary Fast Travel code each team has been provided in their clue will only work once in each of the four Fast Travel
Stations in the Highlands, as well as the Fast Travel Station in Opportunity."
"Warning: The last team to check in may be eliminated." Athena read. "Let's roll." They rushed to a nearby Fast Travel Station and activated it. They were engulfed in a white
light and soon found themselves in a small building in the heart of a large city flying above the Highlands.
"It won't be hard to find Moxxi's." Janey said.
"Not at all." Athena said. The two rushed out of the backdoor of the building and turned to their right. Ahead of them was a long building with the name "Moxxi" written on the
side in large, bright neon lights. They ran as fast as they could and once inside the bar, found Toadsworth waiting near a booth in the back. Standing with him on the mat was
a well-endowed brown-haired woman wearing a cleavage revealing purple dress, fishnets, and a purple top hat with a playing card attached to it. Her face was covered with
white makeup and she had a heart tattoo on the right side of her chest. The Pandorans jumped onto the mat.
"Welcome to Pandora." The woman said.
"Hey there, Moxxi." Janey said.
"Athena and Janey…" Toadsworth said. "You are team number one."
Athena & Janey: Engaged – 1st Place / 8:37 PM
"Finally!" Athena said. "Home field advantage!"
"How does it feel to finally get first place?" Toadsworth asked.
"It feels great." Janey said.
"Well, I have more good news." Toadsworth said. "As winners of this leg of the race, you two have won a 5-day, 4-night trip to the DK Summit Ski Resort. You'll stay in the
luxurious Kong Hotel, have the chance to go snowboarding or skiing down the mountain and watch one of the legs of the Mario Kart Grand Prix's Flower Cup. You'll also be able
to enjoy all the excitement the resort has to offer, from hot tubs to a continental breakfast. And you can enjoy all this after the race."
CJ & Shaylene / Yoshi & Yoshi Jr (Detour – Guns Blazing)
"This is a big city." Yoshi said. "They can't be far ahead of us."
"I wonder if they found the eye thing." Jr said. Not far away, the Sages were standing in a small square. Nearby were the ruins of a statue, as well as four walls covered with
white cloth.
"I guess they haven't gotten rid of all of Jack's propaganda." Shaylene said.
"Apparently not." CJ said. He noticed a yellow and black sniper rifle sitting under the ruined statue. "Found a Hyperion sniper."
"Perfect." Shaylene said. "Three to go."
"Dad, I found something!" Jr said. Yoshi ran over and saw the revolver that the Sages had previously been looking at.
"Ornery Revolver… Jakobs. Perfect." Yoshi said.
"Let's try over where we find the body double in Borderlands 2." Shaylene said.
"Sounds like a plan." CJ said.
DK & Diddy: Best Friends (Detour – Shields Raising)
"How many more shields do we need?" Diddy asked.
"Two." DK said.
"Check this one out." Diddy said, tossing a shield to DK.
"Aggressive Amplify Shield." DK read. "Nope. Made by… Hyperion?"
"Darn." Diddy said.
CJ & Shaylene / Yoshi & Yoshi Jr (Detour – Guns Blazing)
The Sages walked down a flight of stairs to a lower level resembling a mall. There was a fountain, some info kiosks and all the doors and windows had "Coming Soon" signs
posted in them.
"Hey, there's so
mething." Shaylene said, pointing to a gun on a nearby bench. CJ rushed over and picked up a submachine gun with hints of blue and orange on it.
"Maliwan." He said.
"What's that over there?" Shaylene pointed to another bench near the fountain. CJ ran over and found a yellow pistol.
"Boo ya. Another Hyperion." He said.
"Dad, I found something!" Jr said, picking up a simple double-barrel shotgun. Yoshi scanned it with the ECHO.
"Jakobs Simple Scattergun." Yoshi said. "Awesome."
DK & Diddy: Best Friends (Detour – Shields Raising)
Diddy opened a mailbox, while DK flipped open a small cardboard box.
"Nope. Just ammo." Diddy said.
"I found a weird needle." DK said.
"Yeah, that's definitely not a shield." Diddy said.
CJ & Shaylene / Yoshi & Yoshi Jr (Detour – Guns Blazing)
The Sages wandered the edge of the city. CJ was scanning for more weapons while Shaylene was looking out over the lake.
"I never noticed how beautiful is around here. Especially for a murder planet." She said.
"Last time we were here, we were too focused on finding a way home." CJ said. "Found another one." He pulled a yellow and black sub-machine gun out from a small bush and
fired a few shots into the air. The bullets gave off a purple haze as they were fired. "Ooh, Slag."
Meanwhile, the Yoshis found themselves in the Orbital Delivery Zone.
"What's that over there?" Yoshi asked, noticing a sparkle next to a shipping crate. They ran over and found a simple sniper rifle. It was mostly metallic and chrome with some
wood paneling in spots.
"Cool! Check out that giant robot!" Jr said, pointing to the Constructor. Yoshi noticed the eyes sitting in front of it.
"I think CJ was holding something like that orb thing." He said.
"Maybe that's the Constructor eye thingy." Jr said.
"Might as well hold onto it then." Yoshi said.
DK & Diddy: Best Friends (Detour – Shields Raising)
Diddy opened a small crate near the edge of a somewhat tall cliff. Inside was a circular shield with some hexagonal pieces attached to the side.
"DK! Check this one!" Diddy said.
"Maximal Adaptive Shield." DK said, scanning the shield. "Anshin. Awesome."
"Now we just need one more." Diddy said.
CJ & Shaylene / Yoshi & Yoshi Jr (Detour – Guns Blazing)
"We need one more." CJ said.
"I think I see something over there." Shaylene said, pointing to a pair of vending machines nearby.
"Pretty sure buying our weapons from vending machines is off limits." CJ said.
"Look on top of the vending machines, dingbat." Shaylene said. Sitting on top of the ammo vending machine was a yellow and black sniper rifle. Running down the side of it was
a red stripe and parts of the gun gave off a blue glow.
"No way! It's the Longitudinal Policy!" CJ exclaimed, picking up the weapon. He stared down the scope, looking at the Highlands in the distance.
"Wasn't that the sniper you had when we first landed here?" Shaylene asked.
"Yup." CJ said. "Come on, let's go find Gaige."
Meanwhile, the Yoshis found themselves back in the square with the ruined statue and the four cloth-covered walls.
"This is harder than I thought it would be." Yoshi said.
"We're basically on a city-wide scavenger hunt." Jr said.
"To be fair, the whole race is basically an extreme scavenger hunt." Yoshi said.
"That's true."
DK & Diddy: Best Friends (Detour – Shields Raising)
"Got one!" DK said. "That's five!" The Kongs rushed to the grinder. While DK dropped the shields in, Diddy scooped up the shield cores. As soon as all five were ground into
cores, they rushed them to Karima's house.
"Thank you." She said, exchanging the cores for a clue.
DK & Diddy: Best Friends – Currently in 2nd
"Fast Travel to the city of Sanctuary and make you way to the Pit Stop: Moxxi's Bar. Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated." DK said. "Let's book it!" The two
rushed over to the Fast Travel Station and pressed the button to activate it.
"Error: Unique Travel Code Already Used." Responded the station's computer.
"Aw man, check this out." DK said. He read another section of the clue. "The Fast Travel code that you have been provided is a one-use code. It will only work once in each
Fast Travel Station in both the Highlands and Opportunity."
"Athena and Janey already used this station." Diddy said. "We need to Fast Travel from another spot. Does that ECHO thing show Fast Travel Stations?" DK scanned the map
on his ECHO.
"Yup. There's one nearby." DK said.
CJ & Shaylene / Yoshi & Yoshi Jr (Detour – Guns Blazing)
The Sages rushed down a flight of stairs and found themselves in front of a large building. Marking the building was the Atlas logo, and two Crimson Lancemen stood at the
door. In front of building, sitting on a nearby bench was a redhead young girl in her late teens. She had green eyes, wore goggles on her head, a denim vest, red skirt and red
t-shirt with a skull on it. Her hair was tied into two small pigtails and her left arm was robotic.
"Hey, you guys are back." She said.
"Hey Gaige. Got some stuff for you." CJ said, handing over the Constructor Eye and weapons.
"And I've got a clue for you." Gaige said.
CJ & Shaylene: Dating – Currently in 3rd
"Fast Travel to the city of Sanctuary and make your way to the Pit Stop: Moxxi's Bar. Warning: the last team to check in may be eliminated. The Fast Travel code that you
have been provided is a one-use code. Note: You must use the provided code to Fast Travel to Sanctuary." CJ read. "So we need to hope no one else hasalready used the
Opportunity Fast Travel Station with this code."
"Let's book it." Shaylene said.
? (Sanctuary – Moxxi's Bar)
Moxxi and Toadsworth waited patiently on the mat. Not far away, another team Fast Traveled into the city, being dropped in the nearby Pierce Station. They rushed out of
the building, down a set of stairs and into Moxxi's, where they nervously jumped onto the mat.
"Welcome to Pandora." Moxxi said.
"What's the nervous look for?" Toadsworth questioned. "CJ and Shaylene… You are team number two."
CJ & Shaylene: Dating – 2nd Place / 9:19 PM
"Final four." CJ said. "We could be going home at any moment. Any one of these Pit Stops could be our last. We dodged a form of elimination on Pandora once. I was nervous
we couldn't do it twice."
"But at least if we failed this time, we'd still be able to go home." Shaylene said.
"How does it feel coming back here?" Toadsworth asked.
"It was more peaceful than our last trip." CJ said. "But I wouldn't say it was less nerve-racking."
"Can't say the memories of this planet are some of our best." Shaylene said.
Yoshi & Yoshi Jr: Father/Son (Detour – Guns Blazing)
"Two more to go." Yoshi said. "I feel like we're doing pretty well."
"No kidding." Jr said. "We've definitely gotten through this faster than I expected."
DK & Diddy: Best Friends (Sanctuary)
The Kongs were dropped into Pierce Station in a flash of light. They rushed out of the building and began scanning the city center.
"Um… Where is Moxxi's?" DK wondered aloud.
"Go down those stairs behind you. Can't miss it." A nearby citizen said. "Sorry. Couldn't help but overhear you."
"Thanks." DK said. The Kongs turned around and booked it down the nearby stairs. As they neared the bottom, they noticed the glowing neon of Moxxi's bar. They rushed
inside and made their way to the mat.
"Welcome to Pandora." Moxxi said.
"
DK and Diddy." Toadsworth said. "You are team number three."
DK & Diddy: Best Friends – 3rd Place / 9:54 PM
"Made it by the skin of our coconuts." DK said.
Toadsworth was baffled for a moment. "Ahem. Yes. Quite right." He said, unsure of the proper response.
Yoshi & Yoshi Jr: Father/Son (Sanctuary – Moxxi's Bar)
The Yoshis rushed into the bar, visibly tired and plopped down on the mat, dropping their bags.
"Welcome to Pandora." Moxxi said.
"Thanks." Yoshi responded.
"Yoshi and Yoshi Jr… You're the last team to arrive." Toadsworth said.
Yoshi & Yoshi Jr: Father/Son – Last Place / 11:35 PM
"Of course." Yoshi said.
"I'm… pleased to tell you that this is the final non-elimination leg and you are still in The Amazing Race." Toadsworth said.
"What?!" Jr exclaimed.
"Awesome!"
"This comes at a price, however." Toadsworth said. "Next leg, you will be marked for elimination and must arrive at the Pit Stop first, or you will incur a 30-minute penalty."
"I guess that just adds a little extra challenge." Jr said.
Leg 9 Trivia:
- Originally, the Detour was going to mention Opportunity only as a "former Hyperion outpost" and teams were going to meet Gaige at the former site of the Handsome Jack
Pleasure Palace. But I referred back to "Phantoms of the Borderlands" a lot as I wrote this leg, and thankfully that reminded me that I had written Opportunity as a now Atlas
run city, and the Pleasure Palace was now Atlas HQ.
- Surprisingly, the Detour written in this leg is actually the original planned Detour. I changed the Detour choice names (I don't remember the originals, but they didn't rhyme),
but the challenge stayed the same.
- I debated back and forth for a bit about tossing in an extra clue between the Detour and the Pit Stop. I thought about sending teams from Overlook/Opportunity to
Thousand Cuts/the Bunker and then to Sanctuary. I also debated on making Angel the greeter as opposed to Moxxi.
The entire region rocked vigorously as the girl soared into the summit at tremendous velocity, smashing into the purple earth mere feet away from the gang.
"Ah!" Peach cried, losing her footing and falling, Mario catching her arms from below and behind, breaking her fall.
"W-Whoa!" Daisy cried, her arms extended on either side as she swayed, struggling to keep balance.
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