by HJ Bellus
The door to the bathroom swings open, nearly clipping my booty. “Oh, sorry.”
A gorgeous runway blonde giggles.
“It’s okay.” I tuck my mascara back into my bag and I’m slammed with how fucking not pretty or princess like I am, when staring at the voluptuous blonde in front of me. She’s perfect and belongs on the cover of a magazine.
Alley’s bar is a good hour from the University of Florida Gators, but she’s Alumni and loves that University more than life itself, I swear. She played four years for the women’s basketball team and bleeds royal blue. She holds a deep hatred for Georgia and doesn’t give a shit if it offends any of her customers.
Alley is a good friend of Miss Tami’s and a former case of hers. It blows my mind to think, of the hundreds of students that woman has inspired, Miss Tami is actually who set me up with Alley. Once again, I’m forever thankful for her…even though I hate sports and despise the skimpy outfit I have to wear even more.
It’s an unusually calm night, but then again the football season is just on the brink of opening day. And, oh man, do I love football season even though I despise football itself and the memories it holds. Why do I love it? Simple, the tips flow like a rushing river with drunk customers screaming at a television screen. Oh, and it’s great entertainment, too.
But tonight most of the patrons are here for our signature burger. The Alley Stackhouse is known state-wide in Florida. So, in the offseason of popular sports, people from all over the state visit us to order one. The Alley Stackhouse is comprised of two handmade patties seasoned with Alley’s Secret Seasoning, grilled to the liking of the customers, and then topped with a light layer of blue cheese crumbles, lots of bacon, and a spicy nacho cheese.
I’ve never tried one myself, but have witnessed several satisfied faces when sinking into one. If I ever eat here, I tend to go for something quick like a basket of fries and onion rings. My eating habits are socially psychotic at best, just another one of my strange ticks I may never overcome. The only time I hide this fact is when around my Rowe girl.
Our in-house DJ begins play Brown Eyed Girl and I shake my head knowing what’s coming next, but pluck the plates from under the warmer to deliver to the customers.
“What’s this?” His voice booms over the beginning of the song. “Did you all know we have our own Brown Eyed Girl in the house tonight?”
All of the staff erupts in a chorus of cheers, causing me to duck my head and an insane amount of heat to rush to my cheeks. Alley is dead set on cracking my shell. She’s always setting me up on dates that I supply endless excuses for, and is always embarrassing the hell out of me.
She tells me she won’t stop until I’m on top of the bar dancing, or go out on a date. The poor woman will lose this battle. I continue to my table while the DJ pauses the song.
“See we have this waitress who is killer gorge and doesn’t seem to know it. So how about you all sing this song along with us to serenade her? Baylor Jones, wave your hand for the good customers of Alley’s.”
I set down the plates at the small booth and know if I don’t wave my hand a few of the cooks will be out soon raising me above their head, so I comply.
“Let me know if you need anything else,” I nod politely to the people in the booth and then back away.
“Oh, Baylor, we don’t see you.”
I back up with my face on fire and wave my hand up in the air.
“There’s the gorgeous brown eyed girl. Give us a whirl and little shake.”
I bite down on my bottom lip, ready to stick the mic so far up the DJ’s ass that he’ll never need to use one again, and then I spy Alley behind the bar with a shit eating grin plastered all over her face nodding me on.
I throw up both of my hands and make a show of spirit fingers to appease my pushy boss and then spin around. My ponytail nails me in the eyeball, in a not so glorious act, and I’m wrapped up in arms before I can protest.
It’s Joey. He should be a Calvin Klein underwear model, but tends the bar here and brings in more women than should be legal. Joey likes the other team though, which provides comic relief watching women slip him money, phone numbers, and even reveal a boob to him. He gags at just the words, boob or vagina.
He has me wrapped up and swaying to the song in the middle of the bar. I hear ovaries bust all over the place when his deep voice begins booming out the song to me. Joey kisses me on the forehead, before pushing me away and twirling me around his finger. When he pulls me back in, I lay my head on his chest. I love this place because they’re like my family. Always protective and pushing me to my limits.
“Go on, girl. Give them something to look at with that banging booty of yours.”
I laugh hard and kiss Joey on the cheek, then surprise the hell out of him when I push back on his chest and shake my booty. It’s a rare sighting, but I let go with him near me.
The song comes to an end and the bar erupts in cheers. Joey holds my hand up like I’ve just won the world champion belt in boxing and I take a quick bow.
“Dead to me.” I pat his chest.
“Yeah, Alley sent me out here.”
“Rat bastards.” I step back cocking my head to the side.
“Baylor, so mean. I’m just a sweet, kind, and lovable man looking for a glorious dick.”
I shake my head side-to-side and tuck back a few out of control tendrils that came lose during our fancy-free dance session. I grab another order and all the cooks give me their seal of approval with a round of applause. My eyes roll and then I send them a thumbs up. There’s a lot to be said about being in the good graces of the cooks when waitressing. They always have my back getting my orders processed quickly and efficiently, which results in more tips for me.
“You have a table of eight over in the corner,” Sally, the hostess, whispers in passing.
Cha-ching is all I can hear. I love these nights when we’re still steady as hell with no blaring game in sight. If I’m honest with myself football hurts my heart like nothing else could ever do. Ironic, I work here! But in true Baylor fashion, I’ve attached to something and will never let go until I’m broken.
I drop off the food with a kind smile, check my other tables, and then grab a handful of menus before making my way to the new table. Mid-step I hear a voice and freeze as it takes back to a place I never thought possible.
It can’t be.
Then a deep roar of laughter finally causes me to look up. I’m only feet away. It must have been the dance and me busting a move because I’ve gone officially fucking nuts. It’s the voice I only hear in my dreams. But when I look up it’s the mature face that has haunted my dreams every single night.
His brown eyes pierce mine at the same moment my hands tremble, and the menus fall to the ground. I wipe the mirage from my eyes, bend over, and pick up the menus. On unknown wobbly legs, I make my way to the table. The cover model blonde has her hands wrapped around the back of his neck cuddling right next to him.
“Dude, your life is about to change forever with the food, State.”
“Yeah, man, can’t believe it’s taken three years to get you out here.”
“You’ll for sure clench the Heisman Trophy this year after this shit.”
All the men in his booth flood him with comments. I survey them and realize there’s seven men and one female. And that female is touching my State. I’m automatically back in the orphanage screaming no and wetting my pants as he left my world.
He never contacted me, and I never tried to find him after my entire world was ripped apart. He was my protector, my best friend, and the other half of my soul. He left, disappeared one day forever, until now. Now, he sits in a booth with what looks like college football players and a gorgeous blonde petting him.
Before I have a chance to hand out the menus like I normally do, one of the men on the edge of the booth tears them from my hands.
“State, dude, you have to let me order for you. I grew up on this shit and contribute my fierce pou
nding and orgasmic power to this shit.”
He doesn’t look away from me as the table grows silent and all I do is tremble out of control. Alley’s lanky arm wraps around me, pulling me to her. My quivers of fear absorb into her tall frame.
“Welcome. What can we get started for you?”
The men hit her up with a full list of appetizers, but State remains still and quiet. I mentally try to remember the list, but get lost in his deep brown eyes staring at me. I fall a bit more into the side of Alley, feeling my legs begin to give out.
State reaches out and grabs my pinky in his. It’s warm, nice, and home.
“State.” The blonde pulls him into her, noticing our connection.
He’s huge. Like when we were kids. He easily towers over the rest of them just in a sitting position. The width of his shoulders takes up nearly half of the booth. He’s not all legs and lank like when we were kids. He’s stacked with hard muscles, racing up and down his arms, exposed from his tight fitting tank.
The bitch huffs in disapproval when State refuses to let our connection go. And yes, she’s a bitch because she’s with my best friend. The only one I’ve ever had. He’s mine. Then reality crashes in on me as his buddies enjoy a good laugh about something…I’m no longer in his life or have a place to be.
“I’ll go grab the drinks.” My common sense finally hits me upside the head and I race off.
My legs no longer shake as I sink down the wall in the back room. My whole body heaves and trembles. I am going to be sick. I scramble over to the trash can near the door and let the contents of my stomach flow out.
“Baylor?” A voice comes and then the door slowly pushes open.
I look up to the face staring down at mine. The tears flow and my past rushes in without warning. It’s State.
He sinks down to the floor with his back against the wall and pulls me into his lap. I fit into him just like I use to. I bury my head in his chest and close my eyes, forcing out the current situation and enjoy being lost in my best friend. He curls his finger around mine and I sob harder.
“Baylor.”
I don’t talk or look up to him. I inhale his cologne. It’s a new smell for him and I fall in love with it way too fast. The woodsy scent mingled with a light hint of honey seduces me.
“Oh my God, Baylor, I never thought this would happen.”
“You have a girlfriend. Leave please.” I blurt it out through my wracking tears without thought.
“You want me to leave?” He pushes my shoulders until I’m forced to look up to him.
I nod without saying a word.
He brushes loose hair from my face. “You’re gorgeous, Baylor.”
He’s not subtle about taking me in from my face down to my huge tits. I feel naked in his lap and don’t like it all.
“Quit looking at me.” I scramble from his lap. “Go back to your life.”
“I don’t want to.” He doesn’t quit staring.
It causes anger to boil up in me. Unanswered anger, and I have no idea where it’s stemming from.
“You left me. You have another life. Please leave me alone, State.”
He slams his enormous fist into the sheetrock wall sending bits sailing. He’s a beast. Huge and demanding, and now pissed.
“Go,” I whisper, looking down at my olive tanned legs.
“I didn’t have a choice, Baylor.” He cups the ball cap sitting backwards on his head. “I fucked up. Beat the shit out of everyone, trying like hell to get back to you, but my mom and dad didn’t give up on me.”
His last few words grab my attention. “You’re mom and dad?”
State brings his knees up to his chest, placing his elbows on them, and bows his head still clutching his hat. “I never wanted any of it, but they didn’t give up on me. I just wanted you and to come back to Kings.”
“Please leave.” My bottom lips trembles as I stand to my feet. “It’s clear you have a new life now, State.”
“Baylor, please.”
I open the door and feel his enormous palm wraps around my ankle.
“Don’t leave, please. I’ve wanted to find you for so long.”
I kneel down in front of him and speak the most painful words of my life. “Our time was on the streets of Kings. It’s over. I wish you nothing but the best of luck in your life, State.”
My hand reaches out and brushes his strong set jawline. The pain pouring from him makes my insides melt. He may have had a great life after leaving me, but it’s evident he still loves me.
“It’s not like that, Baylor.”
“We’ve never had it easy. It’s okay.”
I lean forward and brush my lips against his out of greedy need. My body needs just one thing to hold on to before he leaves again. We both freeze at the connection and State moans. His large palm grips the back of my neck, pulling me down into him.
The kisses are hard and needy. The electricity he sends through my being leaves me shattered and whole all at the same time. State darts his tongue out, running between the seam of my lips, and I open easily for him. I shudder when he explores my mouth and forget we are even kissing.
Hell, he’s my first kiss and I begin mimicking his actions like a seasoned professional. I soak up all of State letting him fill my soul like he used to when we were best friends.
He pulls back cupping my face in his hands. I moan and close my eyes. Tears leak through my eyelids.
“I love you, State, I’ve always loved you.” I let it all out. “I’ve missed you every single day of my life. I dream about you every night and our dumb games we use to play. My favorite dream is hanging out with you at our spot in the park. God, I love you, State.”
He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. “Stay with me, Baylor, don’t run.”
I finally open my eyes and look at him. “You have a new life and deserve it more than anything. I’ll always love you.”
It takes everything in me to stand up and walk away from the only man I’ve ever loved.
Seven
The pads of my fingers run over my bottom lip and I want to cry. I still feel him on me. Smell his new scent and see the hurt running through his eyes.
“Baylor, you okay?”
I look over to Miss Tami helping Rowe open her new princess movie.
“Fine, why?” I drop my hand down to my lap.
“Are you sure?” She presses.
I’m a damn fool. The woman can read me better than anyone and there’s no way of tricking her.
“We’ll talk later,” I offer with a half shrug.
I’m thankful she drops the topic and helps Rowe put in the DVD.
“Popcorn,” Rowe squeals, clapping her hands together.
I hop up from my State trance and make my way to her. “I’ll get it, sweetie.”
My arms wrap her up in a tight hug and I kiss the top of her head. A princess movie marathon and Rowe are the perfect distractions from the incident earlier today. I drove around forever after leaving my shift early. Alley, bless her heart, didn’t even ask a question.
I holler from the quaint kitchen bathed in salmon pink tiles. “M&M’s or no.”
“M’s.” Rowe’s excited voice floats through the house.
My phone lights up with a notification while I lean on the counter waiting for the microwave to ding.
Mr. Moore: Have any openings for a massage this week? Had to break up quite the cat fight between two second grade girls today.
I giggle.
Me: Pull a hammy?
Mr. Moore: Something like that.
Mr. Moore: I know I only have your number for emergency purposes. I hope this is okay.
Me: No worries. It’s fine.
He’s a rapid-fire texter and I forget all about the popcorn, M&M’s, and princesses.
Mr. Moore: Great.
Me: I have tomorrow at 4:45. Is that enough time to make it after work?
Mr. Moore: I’ll be there. But I’m thinking it’s a glute muscle that needs worked
on.
Me: Are you sure you just don’t want it pinched.
Mr. Moore: I’m pleading the fifth.
I laugh like a lunatic, set down the phone, and fix the popcorn before Rowe busts me. I have no idea why it’s so easy to talk to Mr. Moore. Maybe it’s because I know there’s no chance of anything happening, but he makes me feel halfway normal like a twenty-two year old should.
Me: See you then. Off to a princess marathon with the fairest of them all.
Mr. Moore: So jealous
Mr. Moore: God, that came across needy, eh?
Me: Just working on your prince swagger.
He doesn’t respond and there’s no sight of the three dancing bubbles in our text thread, so I grab the three bowls and head for the living room. Princess Rowe is in my seat with her hands in her lap and hypnotized by the previews. I give Miss Tami her bowl, but she clutches my hand before I can back away.
“What happened?” She eyes me.
“I, uh, I ran into…”
“Baylor, are you okay. Please just tell me that.”
I nod my head up and down. “I’m fine. It’s just that…Fuck, I can’t say it.”
She slaps my shoulder. “Language.”
“Ouch, you mean woman.”
She raises her eyebrows at me.
“Can we talk in the morning? I don’t have it in me tonight.”
“I love you, Baylor.”
“Love you, too, child hitter.”
She slaps me again and I giggle.
“Sissy.”
I turn to see Rowe who is now perched up on the arm of my chair. I settle in next to her, extend the recliner, pull her into my lap, and cozy on in. We have our favorite blanket spread across us and both dive into our sweet and salty treat. My phone dings with a text, but I ignore it.
Way too fast, my eyes grow heavy. Seeing Tangled for the thousandth time just doesn’t hold my interest. Rowe earned a new DVD since she wore out the last one. And truth be told, I want nothing more than to drift off to sleep to see State again.