by Holly Rayner
Maddy gulped, and nodded.
The doctor bid them a warm farewell before leaving them in the hands of the technician, who moved the wand this way and that until Maddy and Akim had gotten a good look at all four little bodies.
“It’s a little squishy in there, but they seem to be quite comfortable, and they are all a good size, considering.”
Ophelia printed out a series of images and handed them to Maddy, who reluctantly released Akim’s hand as she took them.
“I’ll leave you now. You can get dressed, then set up your next appointment at the desk. By that time, we’ll be able to determine the babies’ genders, if that’s something you’re interested in learning.”
“Thank you,” Akim said, standing and shaking the woman’s hand.
She smiled. “You two are going to be just fine. People have four children. It happens. And they go on to raise happy, healthy families. Plus, the good news is you can afford it!” Ophelia laughed at her own joke as she pushed the ultrasound machine out the door. “Big fan of your work, Sheikh. Let me know if you need another lab tech, huh?”
“Um, sure,” Akim said.
When she closed the door, Maddy turned to Akim, who was actually blushing.
“Do you often get recognized?”
“You said yourself you read about me in the papers. People tend to know my face.”
“Uh-huh. Well, hopefully this whole thing doesn’t get leaked. Perhaps we should have been more careful.”
“Rich men having children is hardly something new. Besides, those politicians have no idea what we’ve been researching at Akhemical; they simply want to use me in any way they can. There’s no way they could associate this with anything other than a fling that went too far.”
Maddy knew that in his way, he was trying to be comforting, but in no way did that make her want to slap him any less.
“Turn around, please. I need to get changed.”
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“Do you ever say the right thing?”
“I’ve been told many times that I do.”
“Yeah, when you want to get a girl into your bed. After that it’s all just business, isn’t it?”
“Maddy…”
“I asked you to turn around,” she grumbled, and Akim complied.
For one small moment, she’d thought they might be able to have something more than a business partnership. Once again, she had been wrong.
Was there ever going to come a time when Maddy realized that Akim’s heart simply wasn’t there for the taking? She pondered this seriously as she finished dressing and the two of them left the office, making the next appointment before squeezing back into his sports car.
For a mother with four children in her womb, Maddy felt terribly, horribly alone.
***
Akim drove the car through heavy traffic back to the lab. The silence was thick. Finally, Akim broke it.
“Did you have any idea that Chlomerol would be so effective?”
Maddy sighed. She could talk about science. Science was a safe topic.
“Honestly, no. I had no idea this would happen at all. To think that one treatment, so close before…insemination…” she glanced sideways at Akim, who stared resolutely at the road, “could be this effective. It’s crazy. We’ll have to decrease the dose significantly in future testing, and likely play with the formula a little as well.”
More silence. Akim was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, thinking.
“Four babies on the first try, without the weeks in advance of preparation. Maddy, this is going to be huge!”
Maddy stared at him in confusion. “What’s going to be huge?”
“The publicity! We’ll have four children on our first go. Once you water the drug down a little bit so we don’t scare off people who don’t want to have multiple children at once, we can market the hell out of this!”
Madeline blinked. “Akim, you’re about to be a father. Not to one child. Not even two or three. To four children. And your plan is to use them for publicity? Do you hear how crass that sounds?”
Akim huffed, offended. “Maddy, you know that’s not what I meant. I want to show people that this drug can help them raise the families they’ve always dreamed of. What’s so wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong is that you’re talking about my—our—children like their purpose in life is to raise your profits and fame, and it’s wrong. Babies shouldn’t be looked at in that way, especially not by their father!”
Akim sat in silence as traffic began to thin and they were able to drive the rest of the way to the lab. He didn’t speak again, but Maddy watched his pensive expression from the corner of her eye.
Was it possible that he simply hadn’t really thought about the reality? That it was hitting him just now, having seen the babies in real life?
Part of her held a pinch of sympathy for him in that. The truth was, it hadn’t felt real to her either until she saw the ultrasound. Now her body felt heavier as she tried not to get upset over Akim’s cavalier attitude towards using their children for a profit. He pulled into his spot up front and turned off the car, staring ahead.
When he didn’t move for several moments, Maddy made to exit the car, but Akim stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist.
“I’m sorry, Maddy. I know I haven’t been the most supportive, but thank you for letting me join you today.”
Maddy stared at his fingers on her pale wrist. “You’re welcome,” she said hesitantly. “You have the date for the next appointment, if you’d like to come.”
“I would,” he said. “I…”
Whatever he was about to say, he swallowed. Maddy didn’t want to take the chance on getting hurt again, so she pushed her door all the way open and stepped out.
“See you around, then.”
“Maddy…”
She paused for a moment, considering whether or not to hear him out. Would he truly apologize, for all of it? For getting her pregnant and then ignoring her the rest of the time?
Not likely.
Rather than be disappointed, she waved a dismissive hand and headed toward the building entrance, leaving him behind as the door made a reverberating slam behind her.
THIRTEEN
Maddy found herself walking past Akim’s empty office for the second time in a week.
She told herself it was simply because she was curious about the father of her unborn children, who had all started squirming in earnest. One of the quadruplets kicked her bladder again, causing her to head in the direction of the bathroom for the umpteenth time that afternoon; four tiny babies playing her bladder as a drum did nothing to help her hide the truth of her condition. Yousef had promised to help keep her secret, but it really was only a matter of time before the others found out, and she would have to come up with a plausible backstory that didn’t make her feel absolutely terrible for lying to her staff.
Akim had left for a business trip shortly after their first ultrasound. To her surprise, he had popped his head into their doorway, as she had imagined him doing so many times, but the conversation had been awkward and brief. She’d noticed his fingers twitch, as though anxious to touch her growing belly, but he had kept his distance.
That was two weeks ago.
Maddy sighed as she headed from the bathroom back to the lab. She’d begun wearing very baggy clothes, but she could hardly carry four children without it being noticeable very soon. She brushed the thought aside as she opened the door to the lab. It was the end of the day, and everyone but Yousef had left.
“Maddy. I thought you’d gone home,” he said, his eyes darting to her midsection, as they had a habit of doing these days.
“I’ve got some things I need to finish up with here. Yousef, go. It’s Friday, you’ve got a family to play with all weekend. Get a head start, and I’ll see you Monday.”
“You’re sure? I’m not sure it’s wise for you to be left alone in your…condition.”
Maddy frowned. “My condition isn’t even visible yet. I’m perfectly capable of sitting in a lab chair and getting work done, Yousef. Your wife has had several children. You know this.”
Yousef’s eyes were not unkind as he placed a bracing hand on her shoulder. “I know that a woman with child deserves to be treated with all the pampering in the world, and yet your eyes are tired and sad.”
Maddy stared into Yousef’s warm gaze, not backing down. If there was a black belt in hiding emotions, she would certainly have it by now. “I’m going to be fine, Yousef. I’m strong.”
“But you shouldn’t have to be.”
“None of us should. We should live in a world where everyone’s needs are met and all things go exactly like we want them to, but you and I both know that life’s struggles are what make us into better people. Now go home. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re wrong, you know,” he said.
Maddy repressed a frustrated sigh. “About what, Yousef?” she breathed, shifting uncomfortably as a little foot began digging beneath her ribcage.
Yousef made short business of packing his bag before he headed for the door and turned back. “It is starting to be noticeable.”
“I’ll think of a story. It’s going to be fine.”
Yousef stared at her for a heavy minute before he nodded a farewell and pressed the door open. “As you wish,” he mumbled on the way out.
Maddy watched his back disappear and waited for the sound of his footsteps to disappear before she pulled out her phone. Pressing her mother’s number, she took a seat, propping her swollen feet up on a stool.
“Hello?”
“Mom?” Maddy said, her voice trembling.
“Madeline! What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying, Mom,” she said, though at her mother’s words she instantly choked up.
“Yes, you are. I can hear you, no matter how far away you live! What’s happened? Are you safe? What’s going on?”
Her mother always jumped to the worst-case scenario whenever Maddy sounded upset.
“I am safe. I’m in the lab. Everyone’s gone home for the weekend.”
“Well then, what is it? Maddy?”
Her mother sounded so concerned, so loving. In that moment, all Maddy wanted was to throw herself into her mom’s arms and tell her everything.
“Mom, I’ve done something you’re not going to approve of.”
There was a beat of silence.
“You went through with the testing. What happened? Did it fail?”
“Quite the opposite, actually,” Maddy said quickly. She figured she’d just leave it there and let her mother work out the rest, which she instantly did.
“My God. Maddy, are you pregnant?”
Maddy gulped. “Yes.”
“The treatment worked?”
“It worked spectacularly, actually. A little too well.”
“Too well? What does that mean?”
“It means you’re going to be a grandma to four little babies.”
Maddy waited while her mother sat in stunned silence for a very long time. Finally, she spoke.
“But you’re unhappy. I know you truly wanted to have children, Maddy, but you’re crying. Now are you going to tell me what happened, or are you just going to make me guess the whole situation?”
Maddy let out a sob as the whole story rushed out of her. How she had been happy to try the treatment, but when Akim grew so distant and cold her heart broke. How she wanted a family, but he seemed to want a business opportunity above all else, putting money and fame ahead of all of them. When she’d finished, she reached for a tissue and blew into it. The babies had grown quiet in her belly while she cried, and she ran a gentle hand along her stomach as though to reassure them.
Don’t worry, little babies. I’ll always protect you.
“Well,” Maddy’s mom sighed. “I can’t say it’s a story I haven’t heard before. Many men believe they are ready for children, but when reality hits, they run and hide. It doesn’t sound like being around him is the best thing for you right now, Maddy. Why don’t you come home?”
It was well over the millionth time her mom had suggested she come back to the States. It was also the first time Maddy had really considered it.
“Think about it, Maddy. You’ve got no one there who can help you, especially with four newborns at once. Your father and I know what we’re doing, and we’re retired. We have the time and the energy to help you with this, so you don’t have to be alone.”
Maddy sniffled. “You really think I should?”
“Of course I do. You have your children to think about now, honey. Do you really want to raise them out there, with a father who will try to drag you around the world, parading you like a bunch of circus animals? I can’t stand the thought of it. Come home, where we can provide a safe, stable place for your children to grow.”
Maddy stared out at the lab, really considering it. Her mother was right, of course. She had the babies to think about, and she would never allow Akim to use them like props he could put on display for the world to see. Maddy wanted the drug to work, and she wanted children, but they could market Chlomerol without even bringing the children into it, if they were smart. Knowing Akim would never see it that way, it didn’t take her long to come to a decision.
“I’m going to book a flight once I figure out a good time, just so I can get everything in the lab ready for my departure.”
Maddy’s mom cried out into the phone receiver. It was the phrase she’d been waiting to hear for a very long time, and Maddy knew it.
“We’ll get your room ready, and then we can start thinking about how we can set up a nursery for four babies. Goodness, four babies will be living here! We’re never going to sleep again!”
She said the last bit as though she had won the lottery, like losing sleep with four infants was some kind of glorious prize, and it made Maddy chuckle, despite her grief and exhaustion. It was nice to hear someone excited about the babies for the right reasons for once. It made her feel confident in her decision.
“I’ll email you the itinerary once it’s done, okay?” Maddy said.
“Okay, honey. You take good care of yourself and my grandbabies now, you hear?”
Maddy grinned. It was nice to hear her mother so excited. Maddy knew she had given up the dream of grandchildren long ago, even as Maddy refused to give up hope that her chance would come. When it finally had, she had landed herself in this complete mess of a situation.
“I will,” she said. “And Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you,” she breathed.
“We’re always here for you, honey. Whatever you need. If you ever need to talk, it doesn’t matter what time it is, you give me a call.”
“I will. I love you.”
Maddy ended the conversation and pressed the off button on her phone. She pulled up a calendar on her computer and began counting when the best time would be to fly, before she really couldn’t anymore. That window was small; she would have to leave in just a few days’ time if she wanted to make sure there would be no issues being on such a long flight.
Taking a deep breath, Maddy opened up her internet browser and booked a flight home. She sent a copy of the itinerary to her mother, who immediately texted her a paragraph of smiley faces.
Then she opened a Word document, and burst into tears.
It was one thing to think about abandoning Akim. It was entirely another typing out her letter of resignation. How did one write a letter of resignation to the father of one’s children?
Thinking about raising four kids without a father made her eyes well up with tears, and she dabbed them away as she thought about what to write.
Dear Akim, she began, then hit the backspace button until the words were gone. Was he dear? At the root of it, all he was was a means to an end, right? She’d wanted children. She’d gotten more than she’d bargained for, but her need had been met, and now she needed t
o be somewhere where she would be supported.
Clearly that wasn’t Elbazzar.
She squared her shoulders, and began again.
Akim,
While I have been beyond appreciative of your employment, and your assistance in the development of Chlomerol, it is with regret that I must resign from my post, effective immediately.