Chapter Sixteen
STUNNED SILENCE FELL as Graham’s eyes stayed with Christina’s. Though this was the most inappropriate time to declare his love for her, he meant it. He didn’t want to lose her. Yet he knew he had just spoken impulsively. That he was being selfish considering the fate of his country was at stake.
When he was told that he had to step back and allow a relationship to grow between her and Bryce, he nearly snapped. How was he supposed to do that? How was he supposed to let her go now that he realized how strongly he felt? Yes, some might say that because of what he was going through at the moment, he wasn’t seeing clearly. Yet deep down, he knew he was thinking more clearly than ever.
“I...” Christina began, then clamped her mouth shut, her pained eyes with his before she finally managed to get more words out. “We need to talk, handsome...I mean Graham. Alone.”
When Adlin shook his head and began to say something, Grant interrupted him. “I think that would be a good idea.” His eyes went to Adlin. “We cannae order them to be apart any more than we can keep them from speaking alone. They know where things stand now. Trust in them to take that into consideration.”
“I agree.” Milly nodded as she looked at Adlin. “Grant’s right.”
Not waiting for anyone to decide whether he could talk alone with his lass, Graham ushered Christina out. They walked away from the bonfire and graves, not saying a word until they were free of the encampment altogether. The moonlit night was warm, breezy and peaceful. At complete odds with the day he’d had and the emotions churning inside him.
“I didn’t see that coming,” she finally murmured.
“Nor did I,” he said honestly. “But I couldnae just let them take you away from me.”
“Take me away?” She stopped and frowned. “I know things have been happening pretty quickly and we enjoy each other’s company in all the right ways but...” She narrowed her eyes. “When did you decide I was yours? So much so that you were gonna declare something as important as love to keep anyone from taking me away?”
“Tonight,” he murmured then shook his head. “Nay, before that.”
“Before that?” Pain flickered across her face. “Honey, I let your friend get killed today. You do know that, right? You asked me to protect her, and I failed, and now you think you love me?” Her brows slammed together, her frustration evident. “C’mon! Love’s about the last thing you should be feeling.”
“You think I think that about you and Kenna?” He scowled, disturbed by her assessment, his brogue thickening with aggravation. “Ye think ye failed me? That ‘twas yer fault Kenna was slain?”
“Everyone says it isn’t,” she shot back, wiping away a stray tear. “Except I feel like it must’ve been and you haven’t said otherwise.” She clenched her jaw and shook her head. “And yours is the only damn opinion that matters.”
“I would never blame ye, lass.” He pulled her into his arms and held her as she rested her cheek against his chest and trembled. “If anyone was to blame ‘twas me. I told her I would protect her and I didnae.”
“Did Grant tell you what she shared with Sven?” she murmured. “What she dreamt about last night?”
“Aye,” he whispered, frustrated that she had not shared it with him as well. He might have done things differently. But as Sven said, more comforting than expected, Kenna had chosen her own path. That for the first time in her life she was in control of her own destiny. It was her choice. And that apparently gave her newfound strength and peace.
Yet there was more.
Something else that gave her purpose and courage.
“What?” Christina whispered, obviously following his thoughts.
“She told Sven it was part of the prophecy,” he said softly. “That her death would not be in vain but would have great purpose. That she was along on this journey for a reason.”
She pulled back slightly and met his eyes. “What reason? What purpose?”
“To steer this country in the right direction and help save it,” he murmured. “So that someday it would be a better place with less poverty and warfare. A Scotland that didnae treat their women like chattel but gave them the freedom to live their own lives the way they wanted to.”
She nodded, fresh tears in her eyes. “That’s a good cause if ever there was one.” She frowned. “Did she ever say specifically how her death was going to achieve that?”
“Nay.” He shook his head. “Though Sven got the impression it had to do with you and me. That what we found together was going to make all the difference.”
Yet what difference could they possibly make if they weren’t together?
“Well, why’d she have to go and die for that?” she said, her voice thick with emotion as it occurred to her how that might have sounded. “You know what I mean.” Clearly struggling with everything, she released a shaky breath. “You and I might have hooked up regardless.”
Might have.
The hardest words he had ever heard because hope was dwindling for them now.
“I wish I had more answers, lass,” he said softly, “but she only told Sven so much.”
She nodded then rested her cheek against his chest again.
As he stroked her hair and tried to soothe her, he murmured, “Whatever else came from today, Christina, please know that I was verra proud of you. I’ve been proud of you since the moment we met.”
“Not sure why,” she mumbled through sniffles, finally letting go. “God, I’m just so sorry, Graham. I’m so sorry about Kenna. She didn’t deserve that.”
“Nay, but she was at peace in the end, lass,” he whispered. “I saw it in her eyes.”
She didn’t say anything else for some time just sobbed quietly as he held her. It had been a very hard day on many fronts. Losing Kenna like that had been terrible.
Now, this.
Losing Christina.
As if she sensed his thoughts, she pulled back and looked at him again. They stood like that for some time, gazing into each other’s eyes and coming to terms with the reality of their situation before she finally whispered, “This is it, isn’t it? What happened back there, telling me you love me, was your way of letting go the only way you knew how. Telling me how you really felt then doing the right thing and putting your country first.”
Until she said it, he didn’t realize that was exactly what he had done.
What he had to do.
He didn’t answer her questions right away but asked his own.
“What about you, lass?” he said softly. “What do you want to do now? Listen to Adlin and Grant or throw caution to the wind and be with me?” His voice dropped an octave. “Love me.”
“I think we both know the answer to that.” Several emotions flashed in her eyes. Pain. Fear. Desire. But mostly acceptance as she stood on her tip-toes, and kissed his cheek. Her breath was choppy with need as her lips hovered close to his before she pulled away. “I can’t live with knowing I might be responsible for ruining Scotland and its people any more than you can.”
He nodded and swallowed back a denial.
If this was what they had to do, they would do it.
“Again, I’m verra proud of you, lass,” he murmured. “You arenae just strong physically but mentally. I’m honored to know you.”
“Back at ya,” she whispered, her hand still in his as their eyes lingered on one another’s and they remained close. “And just so you know, I’m not going to kiss him or have sex with him to ignite some magic just...” She shrugged, struggling. “Be friends for now I guess.”
He knew very well she was talking about Bryce and ignored the tightening of his chest at the thought of them together. Her in his cousin’s arms. He couldn’t get much beyond that image, never mind them lying together fully.
“Aye, lass,” he said gruffly. He should tell her to open herself up to getting to know Bryce better because he was a good man, which he was. But he just wasn’t there yet. Not nearly.
“Christina?�
�� Robert called out. “Is that ye? Are ye all right?”
Here came the other ongoing problem.
The famous king determined to marry her.
Bloody hell.
“I’m here,” she called out, holding Graham’s hand until the last moment as they headed back.
The wary look on Robert’s face was telling as he nodded at Graham then offered Christina a dashing smile as he held out the crook of his elbow. “Might we have some time together, at last, lass?”
She nodded, tossed one last shaky smile at Graham then walked off with Robert.
In a dismal mood—the sort he had refused to feel for a long time—Graham stalked back. He nearly spun and walked in the opposite direction when he spied Bryce heading his way.
“We should talk, Cousin,” Bryce stated as he handed him a mug of whisky and gestured that he follow. “Alone.”
Graham sighed and reluctantly complied if for no other reason than Bryce was kin and before this, they had always gotten along well. They didn’t go far but stopped at a small fire with a few men around it. Those that were there barely paid them any mind they were so focused on the whores meandering about.
“We cannae have this strife betwixt us as we move forward,” Bryce led out. “We need to come to some sort of understanding so that I know I still have yer sword at my back in battle.” His eyes met Graham’s. “So that I know I can trust ye.”
“Ye’ll always have my sword at yer back,” Graham scoffed and frowned. “Yer my bloody kin.”
“Aye, kin with an eye toward a lass ye just declared ye love.” Bryce clenched his jaw and shook his head. “That is no small thing.” His eyes met Graham’s and his brows swept down. “Did ye truly mean it? Are ye in love with Christina?”
“Would it make any difference?” Graham grumbled. “Ye’ve known for days that I desire her, that we were together, yet ye keep with yer advances.”
“And for that I am sorry,” Bryce admitted, surprising him. “I’ve been trying to run from my commitments however shameful my actions.”
Even more surprised, Graham cocked his head. “Ye mean that aye?”
“I do.” Bryce’s eyes went to the fire. “For some reason, talking with Christina made me realize...” He paused and sighed. “I realized that my actions havenae been as honorable as they should have been when pursuing these Broun lasses. That in my selfishness, I have been unfaithful to my clan. To my grandma’s prophetic vision.” He shook his head. “Yet now that I see the error of my ways, the bigger picture remains.” His eyes returned to Graham. “My country must come first.”
While some might be inclined to think Bryce had thought up a creative albeit admiral defense to justify being with Christina, he was being honest. It was in his eyes. In the genuine regret that he had no choice but to do as Adlin and Grant requested.
Whatever it took to save Scotland’s history.
“Aye, then,” Graham murmured before he downed half his whisky. “I suppose if I had to see her with any lad besides me, ‘twould be ye.”
Though tempted to mention she had no intention of kissing or lying with Bryce, he finished off his whisky instead. The truth was if he said those things, it only proved he didn’t support this. And if she didn’t eventually do those things with his cousin, what hope was there that they would come into their full power together and save Scotland?
Then there was Bryce’s grandmother’s prophetic vision. Didn’t she say Bryce was destined to marry a lass who would always love another? Could that be Christina? Yet how to spark the ring’s magic without true love? He shook his head. Visions and prophecy were tricky and could sometimes be unclear. Mayhap she got the first part right and the second would happen eventually. Bryce and Christina would, indeed, find love.
Though loathed to admit it, they might have already ignited her ring’s power when fighting together and the rest would soon follow. On that premise, mayhap Bryce’s grandma’s vision couldn’t see beyond something so powerful as the ring’s gem igniting. Mayhap its magic somehow obscured the future.
Grumpy though he tried to keep a cordial expression on his face, Graham bid Bryce goodnight. While tempted, he didn’t look back to see where Christina and Robert might be. Better yet, if Bryce was heading in their direction so he could spend the eve wooing her. Instead, he tried to put her from his mind and ducked into his tent only to find Conall sitting in front of a small fire waiting for him.
“Och,” he muttered as he plunked down in the chair beside him. “Ye dinnae need to be here comforting me when ye should be with Lindsay. The lass shouldnae be alone in this encampment, and well ye know it.”
“She’s with two arch-wizards and a lass who is powerful enough to reincarnate herself,” Conall reminded, handing over another mug of whisky. “So I am not all that worried.”
Graham eyed him, seeing the truth of it. “Nay, ‘tis Lindsay’s ability to protect herself that makes ye so confident. Even despite what happened to her hand.”
“Aye,” Conall conceded and grinned, pride in her written all over his face. “She’s something else when she sets her mind to it.”
“She is,” Graham agreed, content to settle back and enjoy Conall’s company. Yet he wasn’t so foolish to think his cousin was here solely to be a shoulder to rhetorically cry on. “So what brings ye my way, Cousin?”
“You mean what brings us your way,” Lindsay murmured as she ducked into the tent. She touched Graham’s shoulder in passing and offered a soft smile before she sat beside Conall.
“Ah, so you couldnae bear to be apart after all,” Graham teased.
“We can when and if we have to.” A fond look passed between Lindsay and Conall before her eyes returned to Graham. “Though we tend to work better as a team.”
Graham nodded, not doubting that in the least. “So then, what brings you both here?”
Lindsay smiled. “Look at you saying ‘you’ instead of ‘ye’ now.” One brow lifted. “That’s very telling.”
Not much interested in analyzing changes in his speech patterns, he shrugged. “My apologies for not doing so sooner, lass.”
“My goodness, don’t apologize,” she scoffed. “You’re allowed to speak however you like. I was just noting the change.”
Graham looked from Conall to Lindsay then sighed and took another swig of whisky. “So you’re here to seek out the same answer Bryce just did, aye?”
“Whatever do you mean?” Lindsay asked innocently as Conall shrugged and came right out with it. “So do you really love her?”
“Aye,” Graham said without hesitation.
“How do you know?” Conall asked.
He frowned. “What do you mean how do I know?”
“He means what makes you love Christina compared to all the other women you’ve been with?” Lindsay provided.
“You’ve both met Christina, and you’re one of her closest friends, Lindsay.” He shook his head, baffled. “So how can you ask such a question?”
“So that’s it?” Lindsay grinned. “That’s all you’ve got?”
“All I’ve got?” Graham looked at her, astonished. “Her astounding skills in battle and selfless need to protect others aside, just look at the length she’ll go to help people, kin, and strangers alike. She is a truly admirable and kind person.” He shook his head. “But you already know that so why ask?”
“Well, I just...” Lindsay whispered before she trailed off, with a wistful smile on her lips and moisture in her eyes.
Conall picked up where she left off. “What she means to say is she’s verra happy for both you and Christina. That ‘tis good to see true love was found betwixt you.” He clasped Graham’s shoulder and nodded. “I feel the same, Cousin.”
Confused, Graham set aside his mug, crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at him. “You do know I’ve just given her up to Bryce. That they are to be together.”
“Maybe,” Lindsay said airily, the devil in her eyes.
“Definitely.” Graham s
hook his head. “We both agreed Scotland was more important than how we feel about each other.”
“So Christina admitted she loved you too?” Lindsay exclaimed, her eyes wide and hopeful.
“Well, nay, not in so many words,” Graham began before Conall interrupted him.
“It can be that way at first.” He winked at Lindsay. “Our Brouns can be vague even though they love us from the start.”
Graham eyed Conall, still trying to get used to having his cousin back to his old self. A man he hadn’t seen since Fraser’s death. A more jovial, upbeat version. Yet Lindsay came into his life, his father returned, and now their cousin might just be alive somewhere, so it made sense.
“That’s right,” Lindsay said, echoing Conall’s sentiment. “We Brouns do love you MacLomains from the start though we might not admit it.”
“Aye, well, ‘tis good that,” Graham muttered and returned to his drink. “Either way, whether she loves me or not, our paths can no longer be connected outside of friendship.”
“Aye, friendship.” Conall nodded. “Something that is already strong betwixt you.”
“Very strong,” Lindsay agreed.
“And were we not friends long before love found us?” Conall asked Lindsay.
“We were,” she concurred.
“Bloody hell, just come out with it already,” Graham grunted before he drank more whisky. “’Tis clear you two arenae quite on the same page as Adlin and Grant though you should be.”
“We should,” Lindsay agreed.
“Aye,” Conall said. “But we’re not.”
“Nope.” Lindsay’s eyes met Graham’s. “We’re on your and Christina’s page.”
“A page that ends with this country in ruins,” Graham reminded. Though already set on his path, he couldn’t help but be grateful. It meant a lot that someone else believed in what they had. What they had found.
Something that could no longer exist.
“While I truly appreciate your support,” Graham began, but Conall cut him off.
“’Tis not just support, Cousin.” His eyes were deadly serious as they met Graham’s. “We believe you and Christina have found the same love that Lindsay and I share and intend to make sure it doesnae end before it has a chance to begin.”
The MacLomain Series: A New Beginning Boxed Set (Books 1-4) Page 74