My jaw drops. “No.”
It’s a fucking nightmare. The kitchen echoes with her heart-wrenching sobs, and I take her hand in mine.
“I never wanted you to be in this—your father would turn in his grave if he knew—”
“Ma, I’m not going to jail!”
She leans over the table, her eyes blazing. There’s no trust in her gaze.
I feel like such a scumbag.
“Then what is it? What is it, Tony?”
“I’m pregnant!”
My head snaps to a stunned Elena, whose whole face slowly burns red. She looks as if she can’t believe what she just said.
“What?”
The look my mother gives me makes me wish that I was getting the shit beaten out of me. I feel small. My hand drapes over Elena’s shoulder and I pull her into my chest, rubbing her arm.
“We’re having a baby, Ma.”
She rubs her eyes and looks at me as though I must be an apparition.
“You’re having a baby? Elena’s pregnant?”
Elena opens her mouth and gives her a tentative smile. “Yes.”
“You’re going to be a nonna.”
Her mouth trembles and fresh tears spill from her eyes. “Oh my god! I can’t believe it!”
Within seconds, her arms fly around my neck and she squeezes until I grunt. “Ma, relax.”
She dissolves into tears, and her sobbing punches me right in the chest. Elena looks at me, wearing an expression that mirrors what I feel.
I’m going to Hell for this. No redemption.
Then she unsticks herself from my neck and clings to Elena. “You’re going to have my grandbaby? Oh my God, I’m so excited!”
My chest tightens as she embraces my mom back and I’m surprised to see her eyes swimming with tears. Is she acting?
My mom finally releases Elena and collapses on the chair. “Oh thank the Lord, I never thought this day would come. Your father would be so proud—he’d be so happy.”
I have no fucking idea what my father would have felt. He died before I got to know him. I was ten.
“I know.”
“Oh, Tony.”
“Elena wants to get married before she starts showing.”
Ma gulps down her cries and nods. “Of course, but—Oh my God.”
“I’m really sorry to dump all of this on you, Ma. We only just found out.”
“Do you love each other?”
I don’t even dare look at Elena.
“I don’t know your son very well, but I think that he’s a wonderful man—and I want my baby to have a family.”
Overwhelmed, my mother presses her hand towel to her eyes as tears stream down her face, and Elena reaches across the table and takes my mom’s hand.
“Please don’t be upset.”
I watch her quivering mouth and I suddenly have a strange impulse to tuck the hair hanging around her face behind her ear.
“I—I wish it were under different circumstances, but I’m not upset.” She trembles and then bursts out, “Oh bless you! I thought I’d never see my son get married.”
The rest of the evening passes slowly. It’s torturous, and I feel more and more rotten as the hours go by. She dials every fucking member of my family to tell them the news, and she cries, and she gives Elena the numbers of every recommended florist and bakery and venue that she can think of. Worst of all are the constant references to my dad, and how proud he’d be and how she wishes he were still alive. Finally it’s time to go, and Ma stops me right as I’m about to leave the house.
She clings to my jacket. “Tony, you better raise this baby right.”
“Of course I will.”
“I mean it,” she snaps. “I know how you spend your nights, and I don’t want to see that sweet girl hurt.”
“It’s not like she’d know about it.”
Her hand whirls out of nowhere, slapping me hard across the face. It’s fucking humiliating. She glowers at me.
“What the fuck?”
“I don’t want to hear any of your smart mouth. You have a responsibility to your wife and baby. It’s time to grow up, Tony.”
Tears glaze her eyes and the air leaves my chest.
“I didn’t raise you right.”
“What?”
“You followed in your dad’s footsteps, after I did everything I could to stop it.”
My voice dips to a growl. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself for that. I chose the life. It was a mistake. I have to live with that, not you.”
“I have to live with every stupid decision you make, Tony. That’s what you don’t realize. Promise me you’ll be good to this girl. You’re not going to leave her for someone else when she gives birth to your baby. Promise me.”
My eyes water from staring at her for so long. “I won’t.”
Ma looks at me for a moment as though she wants to believe me, and then she closes the door.
This is too much.
This is way too fucking much.
If that prick doesn’t kill me, my mother will.
I slam the door to the apartment and Elena flinches beside me. She cringes with that emotion that I hate to see on any woman’s face. She’s never seen me angry.
My mother’s anguished face flashes through my mind as I rip open the refrigerator door and pull out a beer. I snap off the top, glaring at Elena as she stands in the kitchen, carefully avoiding my eyes.
I guzzle down the beer and feel it add to the pool of hot, burning guilt.
“Tony, I—I’m really sorry for all this. I know it must have been really difficult. It was hard for me, too.”
She’s just another girl who wants something from me. Why the fuck did I ever agree to do this? What amount of money is worth ruining my relationship with my mother, the only person I care about in the whole world?
“Oh, it was hard for you? Please, tell me how it was hard for you. My own mother slapped me. She expects me to keep my dick in my pants for our marriage.”
Her beautiful face whitens. “I like your mother, and I don’t want to see her get hurt. I’m not—I’m not proud of what I did.”
The heat burns down my throat as I swallow another mouthful. “I can’t fucking do this.”
“What? No, Tony, please—”
“I’m sorry, babe, but it’s just not worth it. I can’t do this. I can’t fuck one woman for three months, I can’t be a good husband, I can’t do any of the things you want me to do.”
She stares at me for a moment, flinching from my words. I hate that look on her face. I hate anything that makes me feel for her. An awful sound pierces through my chest as Elena tries to draw in breath. Then her body shakes and my chest caves in as she grabs my shoulders.
“Tell me what I have to do. I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t—please don’t—”
The vein on her forehead looks as if it’s going to blow, and then the smallest tear squeezes from her eye.
And I’m done.
Be good to her, Tony.
My mother’s voice snarls in my head and I wrap my arms around Elena’s body, unable to stomach the look of destruction on her face.
What if I don’t want to be good? I never gave a shit about being the good guy. Why should I now? Because she’s a great piece of ass?
“I’ll ask someone else,” she says finally.
“No.”
It bursts out of me immediately like a visceral reaction. Suddenly blood churns in my head as I think about her fucking some other made guy. No fucking way.
Fuck, I’m stuck with this chick. I couldn’t live with myself if I pawned her off to someone else. I’m not attached, but I want to possess her. She’s my prize, and I like having access to her pussy 24/7.
“I need more.”
She blinks. “I have more money.”
“I don’t give a shit about your money.” My hand curls underneath her jaw and a smile spreads across my face as I think about all the things I could get her to do for me.
“You need to be mine—completely mine.”
She hiccups. “Well, we are getting married.”
I grope her tight ass and my cock stiffens in my slacks. “Yeah, but it’s not a real marriage. You don’t really belong to me, and that’s what’s bothering me.”
Her eyes widen as she looks at me. “What are you saying? You want to—you want it to be real?”
“No. I just don’t want your fucking money.”
“I—I don’t get understand.”
“It’s simple.” I take her beautiful face in my hands and my thumb runs along her bottom lip. “You want my help? Fine. I’ll take you as payment.”
Her mouth opens and my brain lurches, suddenly frozen. I want to kiss her. I want to fuck those perfect lips.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that you’re mine. Your body in exchange for being your husband.” I love the way her cheeks fill with color. For some reason, it turns me on to think that the sexy minx I brought home might actually be shy.
Because breaking her in would be so goddamn fun.
“I hate the idea of being on loan for you.”
She makes a face. “Jesus. Is that what this is about? The fucking money? I thought you were a businessman. Who the hell cares how you make your money? It can’t be any worse than what you’ve already done.”
A surge of anger fills my chest, hot and disturbing. In the beginning, I thought it was smart. Hell, fifty grand to fuck some chick for a few months? Why not? I couldn’t see past my own dick, and I’ve already invested too much in this. Tommy knows about the money, which means there’s a risk that Johnny will find out.
And he can’t find out.
There’s also the fact that the moment I take her money, I become her employee. I’m hers, when it should be the other way around.
I can’t live like that.
“I don’t care about right and wrong. I’ve just changed my mind.”
Her eyes harden like dark gems. “Tell me why you want me to do this.”
“It’s the only way this will work. I need to be in control of you, sweetheart. If I don’t feel like I’m in control, I won’t be able to keep my dick in my pants. If I don’t do that, then everyone will know this is a complete sham.”
Elena nods and grits her teeth, looking pissed off. “What do you want?”
“There are things I’ve never tried with a girl that I’d love to try on you.”
“L—like what?”
Oh, like fucking you in front of a crowd of men.
“Things that might make you embarrassed.”
I sweep her hair over her neck as redness pricks across her cheeks. I think about Tommy’s bar, about the thrill I used to feel getting some random chick to scream my name. It pales in comparison to the thrill of what I could do with Elena.
I’m an asshole for doing this.
It’s time to embrace it.
Chapter Seven
Elena
The sterling-silver metal egg rests in the palm of my hand, the coolness pleasant. I gaze into the mirror, and he stands behind me, his grinning face amused by my horror.
“You want me—you seriously want me to put this thing…”
“In your pussy, yes.”
He’s lost his goddamn mind.
Tony wraps an arm around my bare midriff, planting a kiss on my neck that makes my core heat up. “It’s remote controlled and there are various settings.”
His other arm snakes around my waist with the tiny remote. There’s a clicking noise and then the egg in my hand vibrates violently. His thumb rolls over the wheel and the shaking increases in intensity.
“Shit.”
It nearly tumbles out of my palm, and he turns it off. A strange thrill runs through my body at the thought of wearing this thing to our engagement party, where the boss of the Cravotta family will be.
Then I feel slightly ill. I stare into his happy face, unable to believe what I’m hearing.
“You’re insane. I can’t fucking do this.”
“Yes, you can.”
“Johnny will be there, for fuck’s sake! You really want me to do this in front of your boss?”
His wolfish grin sends chills down my spine, and then he spreads his hands over my naked stomach and I shudder as heat burns my skin.
“Especially him, yes.”
I gape at him through the mirror. Why the fuck would he want to disrespect his boss like that? “Why?”
“Because it turns me on, baby. I like the idea of you getting wet and frustrated in front of all these guys, who’ll have no idea what’s going on.”
My skin prickles with desire as he runs his hands over me, his coarse cheek slightly brushing mine as his words hiss over my ear, making my heart pound.
I don’t know how I feel about it—I’m embarrassed, that’s for sure, and a little bewildered.
Who knew he’d be such a kinky freak?
“Where the hell is this coming from?”
Strong hands curl around my shoulders and turn me around so that I’m facing him. A flush fills my cheeks and chest as he gives me that gorgeous, panty-melting smile. He takes the egg from my hands and his lips bump against mine. My body weakens as his tongue strokes my lips, and I open my mouth for him. At the same time, I feel his callused fingers reaching down between my legs. I widen my stance and he rubs the vibrator over my clit.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and all the things I could get you to do for me—”
“Basically, you’re an asshole.”
He grins at me. “Don’t pretend you don’t fucking love it.”
A small moan escapes my lips when he plants another hot kiss over my mouth.
“Listen, baby. I want you. I want you in ways that you’re not always going to love, but you’ll do them anyway—for me.”
It’s hard to think when his fingers slip between my swollen lips, curling upward as the vibrator hums over my clit.
“I want you begging me to fuck you by the end of the night.”
A shudder runs through my body as he pushes the egg inside me. It slides in with little resistance as his tongue sweeps into my mouth. He pulls back, smirking.
I’m dimly aware that I should be putting up more of a fight. He’s hot and all, but am I willing to humiliate myself like this for him? At the same time, I feel dirty for the excitement that shoots into my chest.
It’s so fucking wrong.
“Should we test it?”
Without waiting for a response, he clicks a button and the cool metal suddenly vibrates inside me. The vibrating egg sends electrical spasms into my clit. Pleasure spikes into my core, and it gradually throbs with a growing ache.
Holy shit.
I breathe deeply as he laughs and wrap my arms around his back. “Tony—shit—this is too much!”
“It’s on the lowest setting, sweetheart. Is that too much for you?”
He thumbs the wheel and the vibrator increases speed like a hummingbird’s wings. It’s as though his tongue is sliding up and down my clit, and I think about the long, hard cock between his legs, and how maddening it is that it’s not inside me. Right. Fucking. Now.
“Tony!”
He chuckles and turns the vibrator off, but my legs still tremble as though weakened by it. I kiss his chest and grab a mouthful of his irresistible muscle and bite down slightly. He laughs and kisses my head.
“Fuck me.”
“I control your body, even when I’m not by your side…even when we’re in public.”
My face burns as he reaches down and cups my wetness, sliding a hard finger over my clit. Then he pulls back and spanks my ass and a ripple of anger runs through me.
“Now get ready.”
A smirk flashes at m
e through the mirror before he stalks out of the bathroom, leaving me there with a throbbing ache pulsing between my legs.
This is so fucking crazy.
Really, it is. I’m getting married to a man a barely know, a bad boy who had a crisis of conscience over deceiving his mother. Oh, and he’s into humiliating me in front of his buddies because that apparently gets him off.
The eyeliner trembles in my hand as I imagine Rafael bursting into the restaurant with a gun. He must know by now, and it kills me that I don’t have access to his texts anymore. He’s probably murderous with rage and Tony will be at the top of his list when he finds out another guy “knocked me up.”
Tony tells me not to worry about it, but how can I do that? My sister has my new phone number, and her scathing texts hint that she’s found out about it, too.
Vince stopped by. He’s looking for Rafael. He told me that you’re getting engaged to some French guy in Montreal and that you’re pregnant??? What the hell is going on? BTW, Thanks a lot for the invitation to your engagement party.
Sighing, I clench my fingers around the phone. I can’t deal with my pissed-off family right now. No, I didn’t tell her anything about the engagement, or my so-called predicament. I know that it’s rude. We’re Italian. Refusing to invite your family to your engagement party might as well be a capital crime.
I just don’t want any of them there. It’s going to be bad enough as it is, surrounded by strangers with a fucking vibrator shoved inside me.
Jesus.
How did I get from running from my ex to shoving a vibrator up my pussy for a man I hardly know?
A ripple of excitement runs through my body at the idea of a hot pulse of pleasure running between my legs the whole time I’m supposed to be meeting Cravotta family associates. I must have done hundreds of these events with my dad, and he would’ve busted a nut if I tried anything like this in front of his people. I choke out laughter, seizing the sink for support as I think about doing this in front of these big, scary Mafiosi. It makes me wonder why Tony would do this. Why risk his reputation just to get off?
I catch a glimpse of him shrugging on his dress shirt over his tattooed chest, a slight frown on his face. Before we met his mother, I would have thought that he was just another dead-eyed, empty shell. Beautiful to look at, but hollow inside. It’s a struggle to get a reaction from him. I tell him about my psychotic ex, and he shrugs as though it’s hardly worth thinking about. He’s unflappable.
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