“That was last night! And you already know about it?” This was exactly why I'd been glad to leave this place for my boarding school at the end of summer each year.
She shrugged. “It's a small town. People talk. They don't have much else to do. You know how they are.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “How bad is it?”
“Well, everybody thinks you slept with him. Little Rosie from the bakery even thinks you paid him for it, but that girl has always been a bit dumb.”
I groaned. “Do I really look like I need to pay people for that kind of thing?”
“Oh no, you don't. You're an attractive young alpha. Like I said, Rosie's just dumb.” Frederica gave me a smile before her expression became more serious again. “Everybody else believes that Elias seduced you. You know it's natural to blame that kind of behavior on the omega. Especially on one who's been unmated for so long and who doesn't know the father of his child.”
I sighed. Those stupid...
Eli deserved so much better than this.
“It was always me,” I told Frederica. I'd been the one to go after him when we were younger, and I was the one who'd kissed him this time. If people wanted to blame anyone, they should be blaming me. I just couldn't control myself around Eli. Hell, I didn't want to control myself around Eli. Being with him just felt so much better than anything I'd ever experienced. When we were together, everything felt right in a way that I couldn't even explain.
“I have no doubt about that,” Frederica said with a twinkle in her eye. “If you saw him and you decided that you wanted him... Poor boy never stood a chance.”
“Yeah... The first time I took him out, we went out into the woods to walk this dog I’d found… He told me about how much he loved animals and all he wanted to do in the future. He wanted to become a vet, you know? He’d worked really hard for his scholarship.” I’d been impressed, and I’d had no idea that I was leading him down this path when I eventually pushed him up against a tree just to kiss him. I had to make this right. Somehow. “Those rumors... Are they also about Jake?”
Thankfully, Frederica shook her head. “No. They haven't made that connection. Not yet, anyway.”
I grimaced again, because she was right. It was only a matter of time before people would come up with the wildest theories. And it would be best if Eli and I figured things out between us before we had the whole town trying to take part in that conversation.
I drank the last of my tea, wondering how to approach this topic with Eli when a maid knocked on the door. I turned to her, one eyebrow raised.
She cleared her throat. “Your mother would like you to join her in the sitting room. Your sister has arrived.”
I did my best to smile at the maid instead of groaning. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
I had no doubt what those two wanted to talk to me about.
And I only had to spend five minutes in the sitting room, watching my mother and sister exchange fake smiles while my nephew stared at his smart phone to be proved right.
“Darling,” my mother addressed me. “Your sister informed me that she knows a very lovely lady in search of a husband.”
“Oh, yes?” I asked. “And how would my wedding to this lovely lady contribute to the family wealth?”
“Oh, don’t be like that.” My sister glared at me while my mother’s eye brows arched up as if she just couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. But I was so tired of this little game of pretend my family liked to play. We all knew why my mother wanted me to marry again, so why beat around the bush?
“Be like what?” I asked my sister.
“Difficult,” she said, shaking her head. “Marianne wouldn’t give you any trouble if you married her, and you’d be doing something good for all of us.”
Wouldn’t give you any trouble. Was that really the best I could aim for in a relationship? I felt almost bad for my sister that she didn’t see the problem with that.
That’s only because she hasn’t met someone she really loves. Not like you did.
“Listen to your sister,” my mother said. “She’s trying to help you.”
I had to keep myself from snorting, because I knew what my sister was really trying to do. Grow the wealth and influence of our family because she thought her smart phone obsessed brat was going to inherit it all one day. She was exactly like our mother, doing what she thought was best for her offspring, however misguided her ideals were.
“I’m really not in the mood for this right now,” I said, stroking a hand through my hair. “I’m still trying to get over my divorce.”
“Oh?” My sister put her hands on her hips. “The divorce you asked for, you mean? Yeah, Mother has told me everything, and you clearly haven’t been making the best decisions. We’re just trying to help you get back on track.”
“Of course you are.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice, and I have to admit that I didn’t try very hard either. “I assure you I’m fine. And I will deal with things in time.”
“I’d just rather you deal with this before Father has to step down.”
“Karen!” Mother reprimanded her. “You weren’t to speak of this.”
I looked at both of them. Good to know my family was definitely keeping secrets from me. “Are you going to tell me what this is about?”
My mother’s lips formed a thin line. “This is not a conversation I want to be having now.” And before I could stop her, she simply left the room.
Sighing, I turned to my sister.
“Look what you did!” she said. “You really shouldn’t be stressing Mother like this on top of everything else she has to deal with already.”
“Cut the crap,” I said. “I know why you really want me to marry, and I’m telling you, it’s not going to happen.” Not now or anytime soon. I was done marrying people my family thought were good for me.
“Where’s your sense of duty?” she asked me. “I thought you alphas were all about protecting your family.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t care about my own life.”
“Fine then, go ahead, be selfish.”
I shook my head at her and left the room. She wasn’t completely wrong about what she’d said. I did feel the need to protect my family. But our conversation had made me realize something. When I thought of my family now, I didn’t think of her or our parents. I thought of the most caring, most handsome omega and an energetic seven year old boy who had my eyes.
17
Matthew
After that conversation with my family, I went out into the snow covered gardens to cool off. My family upsetting me was nothing new. Every time I came for a visit, be it on a school break or on a holiday from work, we found something to fight about. I'd found ways to deal with it. When I was younger, for a little while, my way to deal with stress had been Eli.
And to this day, I hadn't found a better way.
For some reason, I couldn't stay stressed around him. It was as if he could reach into my soul and soothe the tension away with just a look, a touch of the hand. I had no idea how he did it, but it was incredible.
So of course I thought of him now. When I was being honest, he'd never been far from my mind since I first ran into him all those years ago. Not even when I'd been married to Danielle.
It was one of the reasons I'd known I had to break up with her.
I just wished I had come to that realization a little bit sooner. Like, a few years sooner.
I wanted to talk to him, make plans for our future. Big plans. I never wanted to leave him again. I knew now what a mistake that had been.
I just wasn't sure how to fix my mistake without causing the man I loved any more pain. Maybe it was too late for that. The whole town was talking already. It wasn't fair that Eli had to be suffering for something we'd both done. Something that wasn't even a bad thing.
We loved each other, I was sure of that. It was just the circumstances we lived in and everyone's prejudice complicating it
all.
Tilting my head back, I looked up into the sky. It seemed like we were going to get more snow. I took a deep breath and fished my phone out of my pocket. I already had Eli's new number memorized, and I dialed it without thinking.
He answered the phone on the third ring. “Hello?” It was silly, and probably not something an alpha should be admitting, but just the sound of his voice made me feel a little better.
“Hey, it's me.”
“Oh, hey.” Eli's voice softened.
“I was wondering whether you and Jake might want to do something tonight.” After the fight I'd just had with my family, all I wanted to do was surround myself with the people who really mattered.
“Well, I'd love to, but Jake's grounded.” The way Eli sighed let me know how annoyed he was with his son. Our son.
“Did he get himself in trouble?”
“You could say that.” Eli paused, as if considering how much he wanted to tell me.
“Will you tell me what happened?”
“I guess you should know,” he said, finally. “It's just... it's stupid. He keeps getting into fights with one of the boys in his school.”
“Physical fights?”
“Yeah. Fists flying and all. The first time he did this was actually the day we ran into you at the park. He'd promised me not to do it again, but his school called me today at work because apparently he just couldn't keep that promise.”
I grimaced. “He has too much energy.” And I remembered exactly what that felt like, although it hadn't been an issue for me until my teenage years.
“I only wish he'd find other ways to release it. I've tried talking to him, but he won't listen. So yeah, he's grounded. He also got himself suspended from school for the next two days. And they won't let him take part in the play anymore either.”
“That's too bad. I got the feeling he was really looking forward to that.”
“He was.” Eli sighed again. “But I do agree with that decision. He's got to learn that his actions have consequences.” And in a smaller voice he added, “Imagine if we had learned that before getting together.”
His words gave me pause. “Are you saying you'd rather we'd never met?”
“No!” he said quickly. “I mean, I don't know.” He seemed to struggle with how to go on while I waited with bated breath. “You have to admit we didn't exactly... we weren't smart about what we were doing.”
“Yeah, you're right about that part.” I ran a hand through my hair. He was right. Not much I'd done when I was with him had been smart. I liked to think of myself as a somewhat intelligent person, but when I was around Eli, especially when I'd been younger, rational thought tended to fly out the window.
“I enjoyed our time together,” Eli said. “I really did, so... I don't know. I'll be honest with you. There have been moments when I thought that it would all be better if I'd never met you. Like, when I first found out that I was pregnant. Or when Jake was a baby and he wouldn't go to sleep and I was tired and I couldn't find a job.”
“I'm sorry.” It was all I could think to say.
“Don't be. I should have just... let you know about all this a lot earlier. And I... don't regret any of it. I don't regret us. I wouldn't want to lose those memories. And I couldn't imagine losing Jake. Even when I'm mad at him like I am right now.” He gave a tiny laugh that made me smile.
“I'm glad.” I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking of the days I used to sneak out of this house to be with Eli. “I wouldn't want to lose those memories either. Not a single one.”
“I still remember every day,” Eli said softly.
“Me too.” I looked to the sky again, and for a minute or two, neither of us said a word, lost in memories. I wasn't lying to Eli. I did remember it all. I still do.
“Do you still want to come over?” Eli asked after a moment.
Did I? People were already talking about us. If I went to Eli's place now, the second night in a row...
I huffed, annoyed with myself. If Eli wanted to see me, I had to go to him, and maybe I could help. “I would love to come over.”
When I entered Eli's place, I was greeted by an enthusiastic dog at the door. “Hey, Fiona.” I dropped to one knee to ruffle her soft fur. “I've missed you too!” I'd thought about getting a dog once or twice, but Danielle wasn't a big fan, and I spent too much time at work anyway.
“Maybe we should go into the living room,” Eli suggested. “Once Fiona lets go of you, I mean.”
I gave him a smile. “Oh, I already have plans for when Fiona lets go of me.”
He shot me a quizzical look. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I grinned at him and freed myself from the dog, getting up. Taking a step toward Eli, I pulled him into a kiss. He made a small sound of surprise, but leaned into me after another second like it was the natural thing to do. When I let him go again, he smiled at me.
“That was your plan?” he asked.
“Yeah. Giving you a proper greeting.”
He licked his lips. “I could get used to that.”
“You should.” And my eyes were stuck to his lips. I wanted to take him upstairs and extend this greeting a bit, but then I remembered who else was probably upstairs and why I'd come here. “Is Jake still in his room?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Eli glanced at the stairs. “I don't think he's going to come out of there anytime soon. He might be only seven, but he's stubborn.” Eli shook his head. “It's impossible to deal with him when he gets like this until he snaps out of it.”
“Do you think I could talk to him?”
“You?” Eli's eyebrows shot up.
“Don't look so surprised. I'm...” I lowered my voice. “I'm his parent too, right? Maybe I can help with this.”
“You really think so?”
I shrugged. “I'm an alpha. I think I know how he feels.”
“Alright. If you really think you can help.”
“I do.” At least, I hoped I could help. When I was being honest, I still had no idea whether I could be a parent. But I was about to find out. Taking a deep breath, I took a step toward the stairs when Eli stopped me.
“Just...”
I turned to him. “Just what?”
“Nothing. Just...” He folded his arms in front of his chest. “Just don't scream at him or anything.”
“That's not what I was going to do.” He was only a seven year old boy after all. I didn't need to scream at children to assert dominance, even if some alpha stereotypes would have you believe so.
“I'm sorry.” Eli unfolded his arms and ran a hand through his hair. “I get overprotective. He's my baby.”
I gave him a smile. “It's nice to know omegas can get overprotective too.”
“Yeah, well.” He creased his brow in what I could only assume was supposed to be a defiant expression. “Try to hurt my baby and see what happens!”
I had to laugh. He looked so adorable when he tried to be threatening. “Okay, okay. I'll be careful.”
“Thank you.”
“Don't worry.” I gave him a quick kiss before I turned to the stairs again. Here goes nothing.
When I reached Jake's room, I tried knocking on the door. It took a moment, but then I heard his voice from inside.
“I don't want to talk to you.”
Eli really hadn't been kidding about the little one being stubborn. But I'd been a stubborn kid myself.
“Really?” I asked. “It's me, Matt.”
Jake's voice turned curious. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to have some fun with you and your daddy.”
“Daddy won't let me play.”
“Yeah, I heard about that. Hey, would you mind if I come in so we could talk about that? Then maybe I can convince your daddy to let you play. How's that sound?” I caught myself thinking that this really wasn't too different from being in a business negotiation. If my business partners were children who could be tempted with an offer of play time.
“Okay,” J
ake said, opening the door.
So far so good.
I stepped into his room and made a show of looking around while he closed the door behind me. “Really nice room you have here. Did you do all these drawings yourself?”
“I did. Well, except for that one.” He pointed to a drawing of a dinosaur that hung by the door. “Daddy did that one and gave it to me. Because I gave him so many drawings.”
“That's nice.” I studied the image. If Jake hadn't told me, I'd never have guessed that an adult had drawn it. It was a good thing Eli had other qualities.
I sat on Jake's bed and he settled next to me.
“What were you doing before I came?” I asked.
He showed me a book that lay beside his pillow. It seemed to be a story about dinosaurs.
“You really like dinosaurs, huh?”
He shrugged. “They're cool. But I want to play outside now.”
“Yeah, I get that. It's nice outside.” I could see a clear sky through the window.
Jake drew his knees toward himself and rested his head on them.
“Would you like to tell me what happened?” I tried.
“I got into a fight at school.”
“How did that happen?”
“Miles was being mean. So I took his sandwich and threw it away. Then he punched me. So I punched him. But I didn't start it!”
“No, I'm sure you didn't.” I rubbed my chin in an effort to look like I was giving this a lot of thought. “Your daddy told me you made him a promise that you weren't going to punch other kids anymore.”
Jake looked away, so maybe that hadn't been the right thing to say.
“He's very sad that you broke your promise,” I tried, because I got the feeling that Jake cared about Eli. Especially if our first encounter was anything to go by. My kid was an alpha, and he wanted to protect his dad. He wouldn't like the idea of him being sad because of something he'd done.
And I was right. Jake turned to me again. “Is he really?” he asked softly.
“Of course he is. He doesn't want you to get into trouble. He's worried about you.”
“He doesn't have to worry about me!”
The Omega's Secret Baby (Oceanport Omegas Book 1) Page 9