HOLY SHIT. I think I could say this was the first real adult sex I’d had where I felt like I was on equal footing. Fucking Eddie last fall was awesome and amazing, but he’d felt like a parental figure. Dog might have been an older guy too, but he didn’t intimidate me or make me feel weird.
And I hoped to God he could make me feel like a woman.
Once in the room, I pulled my jacket off and dropped it to the floor, and Dog slammed me into the door. I was almost winded, but I could take it. His cock was grinding into my lower belly, assuring me that there would be no bullshit let’s-wait-till-you’re-older backing down speech.
Nope. He was in—all the fucking way.
Even all those times with Decker where I’d felt desperate and eager, I’d never begun fucking in such a frenetic way. My desperation showed in spite of how the alcohol had slowed me down. So my hands went straight to the bottom of his t-shirt and I pulled it over his head. Shit. I’d had no idea how tight and solid Dog was, because I’d never seen him with his shirt off before, but my hands roamed about his chest and ab area, and I was not disappointed. He was in shape, unlike his cohort TT (although even that guy was beginning to shape up a little, thanks to hauling all our shit around).
If I’d actually given it much thought, I would have freaked out. I was fucking a guy I shouldn’t be touching. What was that saying? Don’t shit where you fuck? No. Don’t eat where you fuck? No…got it. Don’t shit where you eat. Oops. Too late.
And the way he bit at my neck pulled me back to the moment. My body tensed up, ready to be ravished by what promised to be his hard love. I pulled on his hair as I bared my neck for him and then I felt his hands on my hips, pulling up on my shirt. Oh, hell. I could help with that, no matter how light I was feeling. I yanked it over my head and slammed my lips back into his. Our tongues clashed and my teeth scraped against his, but they felt so damn numb, it didn’t bother me. I scratched down his back and he bit my lip.
Holy shit. This was fucking fun.
When his tongue lashed out at my neck again, I was moaning out loud as my toes curled in my boots. I ran my right hand up his back again and wound it into his hair. “Oh, God, fuck me.”
My muscles tensed again, eager for his touch in other places, and I thought maybe I’d speed up the proceedings, sliding my fingers around to his front again, tracing the thin line of hair from his navel to the waistband of his jeans. “Mmm-mm. Not yet.” His hands cupped my breasts and I moaned again as he thumbed my nipples through the lacy fabric of my black bra but then his fingers traced their way down invisible lines toward my jeans. “You sure you’re ready?”
“You kidding? I was born ready.”
He chuckled, unbuttoning my jeans. I breathed, “Yeah. There…” Eddie would have been proud. Dog drew a line with his tongue up my neck again and nipped my chin before colliding with my mouth once more. Jesus, I was on the verge of coming, and I didn’t know if it was because I was so wasted or because his lovemaking technique was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I didn’t know what to expect and it set me on the edge.
Dog was nothing if not obedient, and his fingers were in my panties in seconds. “Oh, yeah,” I breathed against his mouth. If he was going to move there, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his kisses anymore. My nails curled into his back again as his index finger slid down my slit.
“Christ. I guess you’re ready.” He withdrew his hand to pull my jeans down farther.
“Oh, God, don’t stop.”
I barely saw the look he gave me through the slits I’d made with my eyes. I could already feel my muscles undulating, begging for the release he could give me. His face looked almost too serious, but he did as I’d pled, moving his finger back to my throbbing clit. I groaned again, feeling my leg muscles respond, and I heard an amused breath of air escape his mouth, but he applied the pressure and sensation I needed, and it was less than two minutes before I felt my brain explode and collapse. Orgasm, the greatest drug I’d ever known, was rocking my world, and it lasted longer than I was used to.
But that didn’t stop me from begging for more. “Now stick it to me.”
He laughed again but he got serious, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket and yanking out a condom. That was one thing about roadies—they had sex as much as we did, thanks to life on the road, and so they had to be prepared.
“Hurry up,” I begged. My thighs were clenching against themselves, aching for a second round.
“Chill, woman. You’d kill me if I stuck my cock in unsheathed.”
It was my turn to laugh. God, we were a cliché, but I wasn’t giggling once he entered me. I couldn’t help how vocal I was once more, and I wrapped a leg around his, because it somehow helped me feel like I was helping him pound me harder.
My crazy orgasm lasted until he climaxed too, completely spent. He rested his head against the door and we stood there in each other’s arms, breathing like we’d just run around the block as fast as we could. I lay my head against his shoulder as I caught my breath, and then I slapped him on his bare ass. “Let’s do that again.”
He pulled his head back to look at me. “You’re kidding, right?”
I giggled then. “Yeah.”
And then he was tender, something I never in a million years would have expected from a guy who went by the name Bad Dog. His lips touched mine, giving me a kiss so soft, so sweet, and so gentle, and I actually kissed him back. He ran a finger along my cheek and then pulled out, and I let out a small cry. I didn’t realize I was still sensitive, still on the verge…but I didn’t want a third orgasm. I was already drained and half sober…and ready to collapse.
* * *
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I woke up in his bed. TT was sleeping in the other bed, and Dog’s arm was draped over my torso and we were like two spoons in a drawer, him holding me close, my back nestled up against his body.
Oh, my fucking God. Awkward.
I wanted to get back to my room, but I knew there was a good chance he’d wake up with any movement I made.
I tried lifting his arm off me and it made him mutter in his sleep and pull me closer. Shit. There wasn’t going to be any easy way to do this. I swallowed and pulled up on his arm again, more firmly this time. Then he brought his lips to my ear. “You can stay here tonight. I’ll make sure you’re up in time.”
I let the air out of my lungs through my nose. Fortunately, our sex had been so damned vigorous, I’d burned off any excess alcohol that would have ensured a hangover. I kept my voice to a whisper. I didn’t want to wake TT up too. “No. I need to get back.”
“Why?” He ground himself into my ass, but he was only semi-rigid and I wasn’t in the mood anyway. “We could have more fun all night long.”
I shook my head. “I think I’ve had all the fun I can stand.”
“Too much to drink?”
“No, that’s not it.” Nope. Too much here to regret. Don’t get me wrong—he was fucking amazing in bed, but I knew in retrospect that I shouldn’t have fucked him. I would have been better off fucking one of Vicki’s desperate junkies, because now my life on the road was going to be strained.
And it wasn’t just because we’d fucked.
No…for some reason, he’d gotten the idea that I was now his, and I could feel that coming off him in waves. I didn’t know a nice way to tell him this had been a one-night stand. Actually, no. It had been less than that. It was a merge of convenience—a way to help me forget and drown my pain before facing reality again, as well as the twin benefit of forgetting the guy I really wanted.
But that was a problem too. Dog’s rough sex had helped me push it out of my brain for the few minutes we were intertwined, but as soon as we were two people again, my mind wandered back to CJ. Goddamn that guy. He had my heart even more than he owned my loins, and Dog hadn’t stood a chance from the get go.
I managed to sit up in spite of Dog’s intentions. I was still in bra and panties, so I’d just have to fi
nd the rest of my clothes. The bathroom light was on, casting a soft glow across the room, reflected in the mirror over the unused dresser that I knew the men hadn’t filled, because we’d just be back on the road again tomorrow.
He sat up, the sheet falling off his torso but still covering his second half. Damn, the guy was cut and solid, something I hadn’t noticed before, and he had some nice tats too…but he was no CJ.
No one could ever replace CJ…which meant that, while the sex was a distraction, it couldn’t keep my mind occupied for long enough to distance me from the pain.
“So what is it, then?”
Still, I couldn’t be like Barbie. Barbie would flat out tell him she’d just fucked him because she could and then follow it up with some mean, nasty insult, but I couldn’t. So I told him half a truth. “I can’t sleep unless I’m by myself.” It had always been difficult for me to sleep with Decker in my bed and I’d never had reason to try to get used to it with him or anyone else. Besides, if I was gone all night, I’d never hear the end of it from Barbie.
I could only hope she’d finally gone to sleep. I leaned over to pick up my clothes so I could sit on the bed and put them on, and that was when I got that slight headache and wave of dizziness. Yeah, I guessed the alcohol wasn’t completely out of my system yet. I sat on the end of the bed to zip my jeans and slide my socks on, and I felt his hands on my shoulders as his lips grazed my neck. Oh, come on, dude. Don’t make me be a bitch.
I threw my t-shirt over my head and he had to move back. So I was a bit of a bitch but maybe he’d get the clue without me having to be overly snotty. I leaned over and pulled my boots on, lacing them up as much as needed so I could walk the few steps across the hall to my own damn bed.
“Fair enough.” He stood and I was afraid to turn around for two reasons. One was if he was naked, that would only add to the awkwardness of the moment. And, two, it was going to be hard enough to make a graceful exit.
Fortunately, he was wearing shorts. And also TT was still asleep. I wasn’t sure what to say so I figured I might as well be as honest and grateful. “Um…thanks for spending time with me tonight. I, uh…enjoyed myself.”
“Yeah, babe. Anytime.” Oh. He called me that too, the name I liked for CJ to call me. When Dog called me that, though…it felt wrong. I should have seen it coming, but I wasn’t prepared for him to kiss me again—passionate and sweet. Jesus.
I patted him on the chest as I heard a riff blaze through my mind—a song coming to me. That was weird. That had never happened to me before. “Night,” I said, hoping he’d get the hint and let me leave.
He seemed willing to let me go but he had one more thing to say. “Just so you know…my real name’s Simon.”
I nodded, not sure what he wanted me to do with the info, so I just smiled and said, “So you have a stage name too.”
He tilted his head. “I knew Kyle was fake.”
I forced myself to contain the sigh I wanted to let out. “No, Kyle’s not fake. Liz changed her name so it’s not obvious who she is.”
“Oh, yeah.” While the opportunity presented itself, I pushed against him so I could turn around in the tight space and open the door. “See you in the morning.”
Yeah. Definitely fucking awkward.
Chapter Twenty-one
I MANAGED TO find my keycard and get in my room before I had to bang on the door so Barbie could let me in. As much as I wanted to explore the new song filling my head, I didn’t have my guitar with me in my room and my head was pounding to boot. I stripped down to my undies, grabbed the phone out of my jacket pocket, and lay in my bed. Then I switched off the lamp and swiped my phone.
“What you been up to?”
I hoped my voice didn’t give me away. “Nothing.”
“You left in kind of a hurry.”
Shit. Diversionary tactics were in order. And maybe appealing to her emotions. “How’d your slutty video turn out?”
“God. Why are you such a fucking bitch, Kyle?”
“Why are you so damned annoying and self-absorbed, Barbie?”
She huffed and rolled over, tugging at the comforter twice. Good. I took a deep breath before swiping my phone again, and I also rolled over so my back was to Barbie’s as well. I pulled up text messages and, of course, CJ’s unopened ones were at the top. I finally felt ready to read his responses.
I tapped on his name. His first response to my text, I’m not waiting for YOU, was What?
Then, thirty seconds later, You texting me back, Kyle?
Three hours later: You there?
And then nothing.
Okay, so…he wasn’t even going to say a fucking word about the problem. I typed several responses, deleting them all before sending. I was still too fucked up to deal with it. I decided to wait till morning.
I set my phone on the nightstand, face down so no notifications would flash and steal my attention. I needed my rest.
As I drifted off, I realized I had, for the first time, put my sex as a weapon plan into action. So Bad Dog had been a bad fucking idea—but, if I had any say in the matter, he would be the first in a long line of men I’d choose in an effort to help me forget about the only guy I wanted to be with.
* * *
One great thing about having Barbie as a roommate was that you never had to fight for the shower—or the bathroom in general—because she was a big believer in her beauty sleep. It explained part of the reason why she was late all the time. Not only did she feel the need to sleep as late as humanly possible, but then she had to spackle all kinds of shit on her face before she felt ready to grace the world with her presence.
So I could shower when I wanted.
I picked my phone up off the nightstand. No text messages. Hmm. So that was it, huh?
That was all it took, his lack of further response, to make me realize he wasn’t just going to come out and apologize. Nope. I had to call him on his shit. After giving it a little thought, I decided to keep it simple, because beating around the bush wouldn’t get me anywhere, and I was tired of playing this game. I typed out two simple words: Pepper J.
I waited for two minutes and there was no response, so either he was scrambling, trying to figure out some stupid ass way to respond, or he was unavailable.
I realized I was still angry and upset, almost on the verge of tears. Sleeping with Bad Dog last night had been a great distraction, but that was all it had been. It had kept my mind off CJ for all of half an hour while I was wandering around the hall trashed and thinking about getting laid and then when I was getting laid. The rest of the time, though, I’d been thinking about him.
God. At least I wasn’t thinking about him during. That would have been too much.
But I couldn’t go around having sex all the time. Yeah, I could fuck more guys and do it more often, and I was beginning to think I would, but it would be too much to have sex three or four times a day just to keep my mind off CJ. If the sex was with CJ…
Shit. I had to quit torturing myself like that. It wasn’t helping anything.
I got out of bed and made my way to the shower. It wasn’t until I was peeing before getting on the shower that I realized my hair smelled like Dog. He didn’t have an unpleasant smell, so it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the smell of the guy I wanted to be with.
Fucking stop it, Kyle. Once in the shower, I did manage to stop thinking about CJ for a little bit, because I had an immediate problem I was going to have to deal with. Dog last night had seemed to want to shift into boyfriend/ girlfriend territory, instead of realizing that he’d just been a convenient, semi-hot guy for me to bag. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and not just because it would make the rest of our tour hell. He was a person, a human being, and after seeing the emotions in his eyes last night afterward, I knew I couldn’t just stomp all over him.
This would be a delicate procedure. The problem? I didn’t know that I had the tools to perform the job adequately.
I got out of the shower and got dres
sed, then put on my makeup. Once done, I started blow drying my hair, and that made Barbie stir. When my hair was dry enough and I put the blow dryer away, I started packing my shit, because we were back on the road today. Barbie muttered, “Time is it?”
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “A few minutes after ten.”
Her eyes were still closed when she asked, “What’s our call time again?”
Man…I could fuck with her so bad right now, and the little devil inside wanted to. Barbie annoyed the shit out of me on a regular basis, and it would be fun to mess with her. I could give her an earlier time so she jumped out of bed right now and then would be pissed at me that I’d cut into her sleeping time, or I could give her a later time and she’d be in even more trouble for being later than usual. Peter was starting to threaten her with docking her stipend (I suspected that Liz had, diplomatically, of course, asked Peter to stop letting Barbie get away with shit), and she seemed to be actually making an effort.
So I decided to not mess with her. Even though she had the same materials I did and could check them herself (and I could feign making a mistake), I needed to do my best to keep our band happy and together and doing what we were supposed to. So I told her, “One.”
“Not eleven?”
Eleven was most often our call time, but we didn’t have far to travel, so apparently Peter had thought some downtime before hitting the road was a good thing—and the hotel even gave us a late checkout time. “Nope. One.”
“‘Kay,” she mumbled again, rolling over in the bed. Then, as an afterthought, she asked, “Can you get me up at eleven?”
Okay, now I was irritated. “If I’m here.”
And, as if on cue, I felt a text in my back pocket. I halfway expected and hoped it would be CJ, but it wasn’t. It was Liz. Meeting in the lobby in five for breakfast. You guys coming?
Just me. Barbie wants to sleep later.
Surprise. See you in a minute.
I was relieved to see only Liz and Kelly in the lobby when I got there. I never knew who breakfast would be with, but since we’d started the second leg of our tour, we tended more often than not to try avoiding meals with Peter and, unless there was something we had to meet about, he seemed okay with the arrangement. Every once in a while, though, we’d still have Andrew or Bad Dog and TT along for the ride.
On the Road: (Vagabonds Book 2) (New Adult Rock Star Romance) Page 13