by Amanda Rose
“I’ll arrange for a therapist,” Norita said.
Raiden bowed gratefully, “Thank you. That man… he’s seen too much death.”
“I know you must be exhausted, but while things are fresh, we should debrief you,” Takeo said compassionately.
“Of course, General Yamamoto,” Raiden nodded, “Doubt I could sleep anyway.”
Takeo led the way through the corridors to his office. In General Yamamoto’s office the three sat around Takeo’s desk. The office was sparsely decorated, there was a metal desk, 3 metal chairs, a metal bookshelf, a metal filing cabinet, and several awards and certificates on the walls. The room was otherwise barren. The metal furniture against the metal walls made everything blend into a monotone grey-blue haze. Takeo pulled a recording devise from his drawer and set it on his desk, then clicked it on.
“So, tell us exactly what happened,” Takeo said to Raiden.
Raiden rubbed the sleep from his eyes and began to recant the entire events from the flight, from when they’d launched, to when they’d docked. Norita leaned back in her chair and hung onto every word. “…I thought the Saisei was big, but this thing, it was absolutely massive in scale. I’ve never heard of the Saisei finding anything like this structure, this eye.” Raiden shook his head.
“That’s because we never have,” Norita said. “The Saisei hasn’t ever found any trace of anything made by any non-human sentient life before at all,” she added.
“And after the flash you described, was the insurgent ship destroyed?” Takeo asked.
“No, it was just gone,” Raiden said, remembering the experience vividly.
Takeo nodded, “Alright, we’ve got the flight records and scans downloading, and we’ll have them analyzed in depth to learn more. You’ve had a long day, get some sleep, solider. Dismissed,” Takeo said.
“Thank you, sir,” Raiden stood and saluted, then left.
Norita and Takeo sat in silence for a moment. “What do you make of it?” Norita finally asked, breaking the silence.
Takeo shrugged, “I’m too tired to think.”
Norita let out a half-hearted laugh, “Ha, yeah, I suppose I am too… Let’s finish these debriefings in the morning, everyone’s too tired now. It will still be fresh enough in the morning.”
“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Takeo said, half smiling.
Norita stood up, and walked to the door, then turned to face him, “Good work today. You really pulled through for us.”
“I was just doing my job,” the General said modestly.
“You kept a cool head in a stressful situation… I don’t think I’d have been able to cope without you. Thank you,” Norita said sincerely. Takeo looked her in the eye and they shared a moment of understanding before Norita left.
Chapter 7: Mourning
The next day was filled with grief. As the officials sorted through the wreckage of the uprising, they began identifying the dead, and the families began to be officially notified. Norita was shocked when the news arrived that Jona had died. The detained surviving insurgents, of which there were few, divulged the names of their accomplices. Lists were formed of the insurgents’ families and friends who would need to be questioned.
Late in the afternoon a knock came to Suki’s door. Suki answered the door to find a soldier in formal uniform standing before her, “May I help you?” she asked.
“Are you Ms. Suki Rose?” The soldier asked.
“Yes,” Suki answered, feeling confused.
“May I come in?” he asked. Suki shrugged and then welcomed him in.
They took a seat in the living room. Suki sat cross legged on the couch and crossed her arms. “What’s this all about?” she asked. She was beginning to worry, Shit! am I in trouble for hacking the data pads on the military channels? How’d they find out?
The soldier sat up straight and looked her in the eye. “I’m sorry to inform you miss, that your mother was found dead this morning,” he said.
“What?!” Suki blurted out.
It didn’t feel real. She thought her mother had been out looking for her father. She had so many questions, but her voice wouldn’t work, and her eyes welled up with tears.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. As for your father…” before he could continue Suki perked up.
“You found my dad?!”
The solider took a moment before he spoke, seeing the hopeful look in her eyes he could do nothing but sigh, “Your father was identified as the leader the aerial attack on the drill site. We currently don’t know if he’s alive or dead. He’s wanted for treason and murder.”
Suki shook her head, “Oh my god,” she choked up.
After a moment she managed to swallow the sticky saliva that had formed in her mouth, and got out a question, “What happened… happened to my mom?”
“It seems she was caught in a crossfire. I’m sorry,” he said. “The funeral for all of our lost, including your mother, will take place tomorrow at 2 pm, in the atrium,” he explained, “We will need to see you to discuss your father at a later date. You’ll receive summons once it’s been determined.”
His words fell on deaf ears, as Suki had withdrawn within herself. She nodded absently. He said a few more things, which she didn’t hear, and then saw himself out. Suki crumpled into a ball and cried bitterly, having never felt so alone in her entire life.
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The hospital staff were all working overtime to deal with the casualties. On top of the wounded soldiers and insurgents, civilian injury and illness during the lockdown had soared. Freya and Koji had been in observation overnight. Koji’s dislocated shoulder had been reset, and his arm set in a sling. They’d given him an IV to replenish his fluids, and oxygen to strengthen his heart. Freya’s bullet wound had been disinfected and stitched up. While she hadn’t lost enough blood for a transfusion, she had been exhausted from losing as much as she had and was ordered to bed rest for the next 48hrs.
By late afternoon both had been discharged from the hospital with doctor’s orders to rest. The beds were needed, and they were just well enough to go. The two walked slowly, both feeling their fatigue acutely, as they made their way back to the barracks. Overnight they had talked, and laughed, to take each other’s minds off of what had happened. Koji didn’t want to have to think about being stuck in space, how hard it was to breath, the pain in his chest as his lungs as he’d desperately searched for air, and then the darkness… it was too much.
“What do you think is was?” Koji asked.
“Psst, hell if I know. I’m just glad I didn’t get sucked in. If it’s a weapon, then it literally vaporized the ship. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, left,” Freya explained. They’d talked about the massive construct she and Omega Squadron had found the day before. Koji had been awestruck when she first told him about it.
They arrived at the barracks and went their separate ways, both longing to crawl into bed. When Freya got to her private quarters she found a letter pinned to her door. She opened it to find summons to see General Yamamoto in 2 days’ time for debriefing. The idea of it just made her feel that much more exhausted.
Freya went in her room, changed into a fresh pair of underwear and a tank top, and crawled under the blankets. Her arm throbbed where the bullet had gone through. Her eyes gazed at the clock, but she couldn’t take her pain medication for another three and a half hours. She sighed and tried to get comfortable. Her mind rambled when she closed her eyes. After an hour of struggle, she finally drifted into an unrestful sleep.
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The rest of the day seemed to pass in a haze for the entire ship. The next day felt sobering; the reality of everything that had happened had caught up. In the morning the preparations for the mass funeral were well underway. Norita was practicing her speech in her office, but her mind was elsewhere. It was going to take at least 2 months to build a new drill, and then there was the mega-structure. Her curiosity was nagging at her. She had hoped for some feedback from the scientific department abou
t the scans that the pilots had taken, but as of yet there was nothing. She tried to refocus on her speech.
Time marched on faster than she had realized. Norita glanced up at the clock, and realized she needed to get ready to head to the atrium. A sadness swelled in her chest; Jona would have been there to guide her and keep her stay on schedule if he was still alive. At times Jona had annoyed her with his precision and seeming lack of humor, however he’d always been there for her. In his own strange way, he’d been a friend, and his absence began to feel more real.
Death is such a funny thing… Norita thought. Every time, it’s like it’s not real. How can someone just not be there anymore? I don’t know… It had felt the same when her grandparents had passed, and when her own mother and father had died. The reality of the loss just didn’t sink in immediately. Norita wondered if everyone felt this way about death. Probably not, some people seem to melt into grief immediately… When mother told me that her father had died, I felt nothing. It just seemed bizarre. I don’t think I cried until a week later… C’mon, enough. Norita tried to pull herself out of her thoughts, she had to be ready to address her people.
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The atrium was over capacity. They had expected a massive turnout, but it seemed the entire ship wished to come and pay their respects. In a last-minute change of plans, the committee in charge of the funeral made an announcement, asking only friends and family who had lost loved ones to stay for the official services. With that request came the promise to broadcast the services live for the rest of the ship, and to allow others to pay their respects after the initial group had left. It was a logistical nightmare.
Even after some people had filed out of the atrium it still felt alarmingly claustrophobic. Suki pushed her way through the bodies, over heated and overwhelmed, to the front of the room where the dead lay in the pods which they’d be released into space in after the services. For many, only a photograph took place of bodies which had been lost to space, or which were too mangled for viewing.
When Suki had finally made it to the front of the room, she felt her heart beat pick up in speed. There were so many dead. She began to look through them all one by one, trying to find her mother’s body. It seemed like an endless task, and anxiety began to creep over her. What if I can’t find her? What if I don’t get to say goodbye? She tried to fight off her urge to panic.
The ushers had begun to try and quiet and organize the large crowd. There was only enough seating for less than a quarter of the attendees. While it hadn’t been particularly loud, the buzz of chatter, and the crying whimpers of grievers, had created a constant drone. The soldiers were all organized at the far right of the room, all in official dress uniforms. Raiden, Freya, and Koji were in the front row.
I have to find her! Sudden guilt panged Suki as she angrily wondered why she hadn’t come to the atrium earlier to see her mother. She hadn’t slept the night before, and when morning came she still felt numb. Running frantically to find her mother now, her last chance to see her, the finality had finally sunk in.
Tears blinded Suki’s vision, and she felt utterly lost and alone in the world. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Hiroshi standing there. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing there, but all that came out were sobs, and she found herself throwing her arms around him. Hiroshi gently stroked her hair and Suki let out her tears. Patiently and unwaveringly Hiroshi held her and waited until she was ready to speak.
After she’d exhausted herself, and the tears had slowed down, she took a step back. “I’m, I’m sorry, I don’t know…” she tried to apologize.
“There’s nothing to say. Today is a dark day for us all,” Hiroshi said compassionately.
Suki forced a smile that lasted less than a second. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“An old friend of mine died, he was in the army. We hadn’t really talked in years,” Hiroshi sighed, “but we were close growing up.”
Suki nodded, “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I saw your mother’s name in the casualty list,” Hiroshi said, then felt like nothing he could say could adequately convey condolences, so he said nothing.
Suki swallowed hard, “I’m trying to find her,” her voice trailed off weakly.
“She came into the school not long ago, I remember her face, let me help.”
“Yes,” Suki said, though she had wanted to say thank you.
As quickly as they could they made their way through the seemingly endless rows of bodies. Most of the attendees in the atrium had made their way back into the mass of the crowd. Suki felt torn, “Should we just join the crowd? They’re starting soon…” she said, feeling defeated.
Hiroshi stopped her and looked her in the eye, “There are some things in life you need to do that mean breaking away from the crowd. You have to walk your own path, even when everyone else is acting like a sheep. You follow your heart; we’re going to find your mother, so you can say goodbye, even if that means we’re the only ones walking around when the Empress herself is giving a speech,” he told her with conviction.
A sudden feeling of empowerment and self-determination swept over Suki. The rigidity of school, and rules, and conformity, especially on the close quarters of the ship, had shaped her entire life. Now as Suki was on the brink of adulthood, and for the first time in her life, with real clarity, rules and norms all suddenly felt subjective. With a new-found sense of self, Suki looked at Hiroshi, “Let’s find her.”
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Freya fought off the urge to slouch in her seat. She hated being in the front row to be scrutinized by all, just as much as she loved being revered for being the best. It was a catch 22 for her. Funerals made her uncomfortable, which made her want to make jokes to lighten the mood. But today of all days, in front of the eyes of the entire ship, not mourning the loss of one, but the devastation of so many, Freya bit her tongue. She bounced her right heel up and down nervously, her frenetic energy having nowhere else to go.
She’d been whispering to Koji and Raiden up until the ushers had begun to hush the crowd. She crossed her good arm under her sling-held arm and gave a long exhale. Koji noticed Freya’s leg bouncing up and down and set his palm on her knee gently. She hadn’t noticed the bouncing and stopped once he had touched her. She looked up at him. He silently mouthed, “It’s OK” and she smiled and nodded.
Raiden was lost in his own thoughts. He had had to help move the bodies of the dead councilors and unloaded some of the ships which had collected some of the soldiers and insurgents who had been sucked out into space. The feeling of their cold, limp, heavy bodies was still fresh.
As he gazed out across the sea of coffins he wondered which ones contained the ones he’d moved. Some of them had died with looks of horror or agony of their faces, and the sight had etched itself into his mind. It was something he knew he could never forget.
His gaze lowered after some time, and he noticed Koji’s hand on Freya’s thigh. He felt an instant twinge of jealously and a flash of anger that rippled through his body. Raiden turned his head to the side and looked away, what the hell is wrong with me?
He and Freya had always been close friends and nothing more. Both had dated and had sexual trysts with other people over the years, though nothing had lasted long. But Raiden had never really felt jealous about Freya being with anyone before. Does that even mean anything? Freya and Koji have always just been friends… Even if it does, so what? Raiden asked himself, glancing back at Koji’s hand. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling.
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A make-shift podium had been set up in front of the rows of the dead. Norita, escorted by several guards, made her way to the stage. The low murmurs dissipated, until all that could be heard were the gentle cries people were trying to suppress. Cameras and audio equipment had been quickly set up to capture the services, which would be broadcast live across the ship, and recorded for posterity.
W
hen Norita stepped in front of the podium she felt all eyes on her. She was used to the limelight, having spent her entire life addressing her people, but never before had she felt vulnerable in front of them. Norita set her data pad with her addressment speech down in front of herself, and then took a moment to look upon all of the faces in the crowd.
“It is with a heavy heart that I stand here before you today,” Norita began, and then took a moment to find her center. “This tragedy affects us all. We of the Saisei, we nomads of the stars, stand as one. Everyone has lost a relative, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, or a familiar face among us. We, the people of the Saisei, are lesser for these losses.
“With death comes many questions: Where do we go? Is there an afterlife? Are we reborn? Why did this have to happen? To these uncertainties there are no definite answers. It becomes all too easy to fall into anger and blame. However, evil begets evil, and hate and blame will only bring about more sorrow.