“Exactly what I said, though not in those words.”
“It’s also not entirely true.” Marina squeezed Dallas’s hand. “Dig deep, baby girl. Be honest with yourself. Isn’t there a part of you, maybe a small part, that wishes he had a better job?”
“Yes.” Fresh tears filled her eyes. “God, I’m awful.”
“No, you’re not. It’s natural for us to want the best for our loved ones. For them to live up to their potential. It’s only wrong when the reasons are selfish.”
Dallas understood what her mother was saying, not that it did her any good now.
“I wish men were more like us.”
Marina laughed. “Do you?”
“They don’t have any problems offering us help with our careers, and think we’re stupid if we turn them down because of pride.”
“You’re right.”
“Then there are men like Hank, who don’t want their wife to have a career at all.”
“Dallas! How could you say such a thing?”
She exchanged a crumbled tissue for a fresh one. “Well, he made you give up sculpting.”
“He did not! I sculpt.”
“A few pieces a year. You’re talented, Mom. You could have become famous.”
“I don’t know about that. But even if I could have been famous, I didn’t want it.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No.” She made sound of distress. “I don’t know where you’re getting all these ideas about Hank.”
“You’ve always talked so...longingly about your art.”
“Because I love it. Like you love photography. You talk longingly about that.”
“But...” Dallas gave up trying to explain.
“I quit pursuing a career as an artist to raise you and Liam, be Hank’s wife and teach. The three most important things in my life.” Marina tucked a lock of disheveled hair behind Dallas’s ear. “I have everything I’ve always wanted. I don’t know why you thought differently.”
Dallas didn’t know, either.
“My fault, I suppose.” Marina sighed. “I always pushed you and Liam. Somewhere along the line I must have unintentionally allowed you to assume it was because of some personal dissatisfaction.”
“You weren’t the one who pushed us. Hank did. All those rules of his.”
Marina looked stricken. “I’ve really messed up.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I was the one who made the rules. Hank simply enforced them.”
“What?”
“I’ve always been such a softie where you and your brother were concerned. After your father and I divorced, I didn’t want you thinking both your parents didn’t love you. If it was left entirely up to me, you and Liam would have run completely wild. Hank was so much better at disciplining than me.” Guilt shone brightly on her face. “I let him take over the task.”
Dallas’s jaw went slack. “You made the rules? Didn’t let us watch TV after nine on weekdays? No date till we were sixteen? Drive until we were eighteen?”
“I’ve been so unfair to Hank. You, too. I see now how it’s affected your relationship with him. I thought all along it was some misguided loyalty to your father.” She blinked her damp eyes. “I’m the worst mother in history.”
Dallas suddenly saw her years growing up with her stepfather in an entirely new light. “You are the worst mother.”
Marina looked shocked, then agreed resignedly. “I am.”
“And the most wonderful one.” Dallas hugged her mother fiercely and kissed her soundly on the cheek.
“What’s all this?”
“Can I come over tomorrow? Early. Before Hank leaves for the office.”
“Of course. But why—”
“I want to apologize to him.”
“Darling, you don’t have to do that. Like I said, it’s my fault.”
Dallas wouldn’t be deterred. “I’ll bring him breakfast. Does he still like those whole wheat pancakes from Wild Flower Bread Company?”
“They’re his favorite.” Marina smiled, happy again. “He loves you, you know. In his way.”
“I do know. And I suppose I love him, too. In my way.”
Marina slapped her thighs with a back-to-business enthusiasm. “Now, what are we going to do about you and Conner?”
There was no point in Dallas confessing her love for him, too. As her mother had already pointed out, that was obvious.
“I owe him an apology, as well.”
“You need to come up with something better than whole wheat pancakes.”
She picked up the ad proofs and considered her mother’s remark. “I think I’ve figured out just the thing.”
* * *
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND I been friends?” Richard asked. “Six, seven years?”
“Something like that.”
He and Conner walked down the barn aisle, with no particular destination that Conner knew of in mind.
“We’ve been to football games, bachelor parties, barbecues, company events, dinners at each other’s house. All that and yet I’ve never been here.”
“I don’t suppose I ever invited you.” He still wasn’t sure why Richard had appeared out of the blue. Apparently, he was going to tell him in his own sweet time.
Conner assumed it had something to do with Dallas. She must have told Richard about them.
“I want to thank you again for helping me with Rosco and Evelyn. Things aren’t perfect. But we’re making strides. The department’s running smoother and morale’s slowly improving.”
“I’m glad.” Conner was, for his former employees and his former friend. The better Richard did his job, the better he could take care of Dallas and their child.
“Do all these horses belong to the Powells?” He gave the many large heads hanging over the stall doors a strange look, as if they were alien beings.
Conner supposed they were to Richard. He wasn’t the cowboy type.
The two of them were so unalike. How had they been friends?
How had Dallas cared for them both?
“About half the horses belong to clients.”
“Where’s that wild stallion you and Dallas are always talking about? And the—what is it? Mustang sanctuary?”
“Prince has his own quarters in the next barn over. The sanctuary’s a few minutes away. At the Duvall Rodeo Arena.”
Richard let his gaze wander to the neighboring barn. “Maybe you can take me to see him.”
“Prince? I could, but why?”
“I don’t want to wait for the book to come out.” Richard’s smile and joke fell flat.
Conner studied him. “What’s the real reason you’re here?”
“I heard you and Dallas are seeing each other. Not from her. Evelyn told me. I think she was rubbing my nose in it. Which I may have deserved,”
Conner debated telling him that, as of Wednesday, he had nothing to worry about. But decided to see where the conversation went first.
“How did Evelyn find out?”
“There was a picture of you and Dallas at an AAWA dinner. Triad put it in the corporate newsletter.”
Conner remembered. Back when Dallas and Richard were engaged, she’d petitioned Triad to include the Arizona Animal Welfare Association among the charitable organizations to which they made annual donations.
There had been a lot of photographs taken at the dinner. It hadn’t occurred to Conner one might appear in Triad
’s newsletter.
“She’s not going to marry me, is she?”
The lost look on Richard’s face struck a chord with Conner. He’d seen a similar look in the mirror that morning.
“I have no idea what she’s going to do.” At Richard’s puzzled expression, he said, “We’re not seeing each other. We did. Briefly. A few dates. It didn’t last.”
Their relationship had been much, much more than just a few dates to Conner. If he hadn’t messed up, it could have been the start of a lifetime together.
Richard appeared to digest that information. Any comments he had he kept to himself.
“I wish I knew when she fell out of love with me. What I could say that would make her change her mind.”
Conner’s chest tightened. He didn’t want Richard and Dallas together. At the same time, the man was clearly hurting.
“You’ve done everything right. You’ll be there when she needs you. And your baby needs you.”
Richard’s gaze wandered to the riders practicing in the arena. Near the hay shed, Javier and another hand were loading the flatbed trailer with bales in preparation for the evening feeding.
“If I had to pick another man for her, I couldn’t do better than you.”
“No chance I’ll be taking your place. You’re that child’s father.”
“I’ll be a good one.” He squared his shoulders. “It wasn’t what I wanted. Not at first. I didn’t think I was ready. But I’ll be okay.”
Conner recalled Dallas’s comment about how her life wasn’t playing out in the order she’d planned.
The same could be said for all three of them.
“You’ll do fine.” He automatically raised an arm to give Richard’s shoulder a friendly squeeze.
He let his hand drop before making contact.
Richard gave no indication he’d noticed.
“Hey, I didn’t drop by to moan about myself.” He withdrew a business card from his bomber jacket pocket and handed it to Conner. “An old college roommate of mine recently went to work for this outfit.”
Conner read the card. Infinity Renewable Energy Systems. According to the address, they were located in northeast Phoenix. “What about him?”
“Not him. Them. They’re hiring and have an opening for a production manager. I gave them your name.”
“You did?”
“They need someone with experience who can hit the ground running. They have a pretty impressive product line and a solid vision of how to grow the company. He’s expecting your call. Today.”
Conner studied the card, not sure what to say. After Sonoran Bottling, he didn’t dare get his hopes up.
“Keep in mind,” Richard continued, “they’re a start-up organization. The salary won’t be anything near what you were earning at Triad. But if they take off, and they could—there’s an expanding market for green energy systems—you’ll be in on the ground floor. If it were me, I’d ask for stock options.”
“Why would you do this for me? We haven’t been the best of friends lately.”
“For the same reason you helped me with Rosco and Evelyn.”
“I didn’t want them to lose their jobs.”
Richard cocked his head, his eyes searching. “Really? That was all?”
It wasn’t all. Deep in his heart, Conner didn’t blame Richard for the loss of his job. Punishing him would have been unfair.
Considering that Richard had been under the assumption Conner and Dallas were dating, recommending Conner for a job was, well, pretty decent of him.
“Thank you.” This time, Conner didn’t hesitate; his hand made firm contact with Richard’s shoulder.
“I’ve got another stop to make.”
Conner nodded. “Come back again. When you have more time.” The invitation was heartfelt.
Richard seemed to sense that. “I will. You can show me that wild stallion. Then maybe we can go out for beer.”
“I’d like that. My treat.”
“We’ll celebrate your new job.”
After Richard left, Conner walked to the stall holding Chiquita and her colt. Both immediately came over for a petting.
Conner pulled out his cell phone and, reading the name and number off the business card, placed the call to Richard’s old roommate.
The man was pleased to hear from Conner. They spoke for almost twenty minutes, ending the call with a meeting scheduled for first thing in the morning. Conner liked what the man had to say, and had the impression they could work well together.
He would owe Richard a depth of gratitude if he got the job.
What would Dallas think?
She’d probably tell him what she’d been saying all along—it wasn’t what Conner knew that mattered but who. In this case, Richard. Go figure.
During the entire phone call, Conner had stood at the stall, his free hand stroking the colt.
“Maybe I will get to keep you, after all. Would you like that?”
The colt answered by nibbling his fingers.
Conner realized that, in all probability, this little guy would be the last wild horse ever to be born in Mustang Valley.
“Principito. Little Prince. That’s what I’m going to call you.”
The colt snorted.
“Too long? How ’bout Pito for short?”
With that, the colt officially became Conner’s.
He thought of going in search of Gavin, to tell him about the interview with Infinity. He didn’t. He’d wait until he had a job offer in hand.
Then what? Tell Dallas?
For all he knew, she didn’t want to see him again. Ever.
To finally land the kind of job he’d been hoping for after seven long months, and not have her to share it with, didn’t seem fair.
Of course, getting a new job would be a good excuse to call her.
Chapter Sixteen
Conner’s truck wasn’t parked by his apartment. Dallas assured herself there was no reason to assume she’d missed him. He often used his truck for chores around the ranch. As she was driving to the parking area, she noticed Gavin and Sage at the arena fence, watching a young woman riding a tall, leggy black horse. Gavin appeared to be giving her instructions.
They turned to look as Dallas pulled to a stop and got out of her car. It was then she noticed Sage was carrying Milo, snuggled against her in a baby wrap. As Dallas approached, his arms and legs started flailing. She chose to think he was excited to see her. She was certainly excited to see him.
“How are you?” Sage greeted Dallas with a warm hug. Milo squawked, annoyed at being squished between the two women, one who insisted on pinching his chin.
Dallas got a kiss on the cheek from Gavin—a you’re-one-of-the-family kind of kiss.
Nice.
“What brings you here?” he asked. “Not that we aren’t glad to see you.”
“I have something for Conner.”
“Conner?” Sage’s brows rose quizzically.
“The agency sent me proofs of the ad. The one with his picture. I made copies for him. Thought he might want them.” She pulled a proof out of the manila envelope.
“Wow!” Sage studied it admiringly. “He’ll definitely like this.”
Gavin offered similar praise.
Dallas looked at the proof with fresh eyes. It was praiseworthy. Her best yet. Being a respected documentary photographer really wasn’t such a far-fetched dream.
Would she give up the chance
of becoming one for a life with Conner, as her mother had done with Hank?
No. Because she wouldn’t have to. Conner would always support and encourage her. The same way she needed to support and encourage his dreams—and not just because his success was a positive reflection on her.
“Is he here?” She scanned the immediate area.
“Not at the moment.”
She felt her face fall. “I should have called first.”
“He’s at the mustang sanctuary,” Gavin said. “Settling in a new arrival.”
Doubts promptly assailed her. “I don’t want to bother him if he’s working. I can come back later.”
“You won’t be bothering him.” Sage’s smile reached her eyes. “Trust me.”
They must not have heard. “We had a...disagreement the other day.”
“We know. He told us.” Gavin’s tone was sympathetic.
Okay, they had heard.
“I’m sorry.” Sage’s smile turned sad.
Even Milo commiserated by suddenly whining.
“Why don’t you drive out to the sanctuary? I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”
Dallas did want to apologize. Tell Conner what a fool she’d been. Even if nothing came of it, at least she’d sleep better at night.
“What if he isn’t glad to see me?”
“He misses you, too.”
Did he? Was he also putting up a good front just for show?
“I guess I will drive by the sanctuary. To drop off the proofs,” she clarified, when Sage and Gavin exchanged knowing glances.
Her Prius kicked up a cloud of dust as she maneuvered it along the dirt road. The pastures where the mustangs resided came into view, Conner’s truck a small white dot in the distance.
Her nerves started tingling as she scanned the area for any sign of him. She didn’t see him until she got closer. He was in the pasture, the mustangs clustered around him like adoring fans. Except for one, a shaggy, nondescript mare who warily kept her distance.
The new addition, Dallas concluded.
Soon enough, the mare would learn to trust Conner.
As Dallas did. Enough to place her future and that of her child’s alongside his. If he’d still have her after the way she’d let him down. She would wait if necessary. For as long as it took.
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