by Ruby Rose
The two men nod and mumble, “Yes, sir.”
“The three of us did time for taking care of filthy low-lives much bigger than you, and don’t think we won’t do it again.”
They scurry out of the farm shop. All of us sigh with relief when we hear their engine rev, and the dust from beneath their wheels cloud up the shop door.
“Are you OK, Lexi?” Chief takes my hand and pulls me towards him. Instinctively, I follow his pull, but as his masculine arms wrap around my still-trembling body, just one thought seeps through me.
A convict. The man I want so badly is an ex-convict.
Chapter Three: Chief
“I still feel bad, Chief.”
I lean against the truck with my arms folded. She’s calmed down now, but the whole ride back to her place, I could feel her shaking. Those degenerates got off lightly. If I hadn’t had just come back from anger management, who knows what would have happened.
“How could you possibly feel bad for what happened back there. Those guys are lucky they left walking.”
“I should have handled it on my own. I almost got you in trouble, not to mention losing you customers.”
“Any man who disrespects a woman like that has no place at Wild Eagle Acres.”
She looks over her shoulder and sighs.
“Well I’d better go inside, Momma’s probably worried sick about me.”
I look out to the small farm behind her. I wonder if her Momma sees us now. I bet she wouldn’t feel too great about her daughter hanging out with an ex-con like me neither.
“Well, Lexi. You got my number, should you need anything. I’ll be calling you tomorrow to check how you are.”
Lexi leans into me. For a moment, I think she might grab hold of me right here and now. My hands turn limp by my sides as I ask myself if now would be a bad time to take her in my arms and kiss her. But I know better than that.
She kisses me gently on my cheek.
“Thank you, Chief.”
Stood there, still as a block of bricks, I watch her walk away from me. Her hips sway from side to side. Her dress clings to the curves of her body. Her soft blonde hair swishes across her delicate shoulders. The only thing I can think about is how I’ll make this woman mine because god knows I’m already hers.
Thoughts run through my head the whole drive home. I imagine myself peeling off that dress, caressing her soft skin underneath. I picture the two of us pressed against each other, and though I try my best to fight it, every scenario ends in me driving my manhood deep inside of her.
I unbuckle my jeans just to release the pressure growing in my crotch. I’m going crazy thinking about this girl.
Back at the ranch, I barge past Tiger and Bird.
“Getting a shower,” I call out, holding my hands over my jeans to try and hide my unstoppable arousal. It’s almost impossible as I notice my cock start to emerge from the seam of my pants.
“Holy hell!” I scream. The cold water hits hard against my raging body, but surely a cold shower will calm me down.
It doesn’t.
Washing my body, I just wish that she could be in here with me, that it were her hands working the soap into me, instead of my own coarse hands, roughened by daily weights in the jail yards and months of farm work.
I’m still stiff and standing tall as ever. I gotta get this out of me. I picture that face and remember the touch of her delicate lips brushing against the stubble on my chin. My hand starts working me, but in my mind, I’m sinking deep into her soft, wet folds.
I grunt desperately as the streams of desire spill from me. I let the cold water fall over my body. I might not be hard anymore, but I didn’t get her out of my head.
****
It’s been four days since Lexi sat by my side in my truck, and I still can’t get that damn song out of my head. I haven’t mentioned anything to the boys, for now, Lexi is mine, as long as all this is in my head, nothing can go wrong.
They can’t tell me that she’s too good for me, or that I should just keep my head down. They can’t tell me that I’m crazy for falling in love with a woman I only just met. Right now, while she only exists in my head, she’s all mine.
But that’s just the problem. I don’t want her in my head. I want her with me by my side.
I reach for my phone in my back pocket.
“Hey, Chief!”
Bird’s unmistakable growl bellows from outside the barn.
“What you doing back there? I need some help with those hay bales.”
I wipe the sweat from my brow and take one last look at her name on my phone.
“Coming, Bird,” I call out.
“Fuck it,” I utter under my breath. If I don’t ask her now, then I never will. And while I’ve got everything to lose by being rejected by Lexi, I know if I don’t take the leap, I’ll lose her either way.
“Coffee, in town, tomorrow afternoon?”
I throw my phone back into my back pocket and go outside to meet Bird. I don’t even want to know her answer. I just want to do some real work, and shift this gut-wrenching feeling from me.
After a long day on the farm, we finally get back to the ranch. I collapse onto the sofa.
“What a day,” Tiger sighs, tugging off his shirt and cracking open an ice-cold diet coke.
“I told you, boys, farming ain’t easy!”
I pull off my shirt too and lean back into the chair. I feel my phone press against me, and just like that, Lexi slips back into my mind.
“I’m not sure, Chief. Maybe another time.”
My heart sinks. I know she heard me say I was a convict back there. She probably ran for the hills after hearing that. I go to drop my phone, but then I remember.
I’ve come across a struggle or two in my life before. I watched my good-for-nothing-dad beat up my Mom when I was too young to stop him. I witnessed my sister fall into the hands of a similar man for years, but I finally stopped him, though it may have cost me three years of freedom. People told me I’d never get my life back, but here I am, with my two brothers, making something for myself.
When I want something, I get it. I ain’t no quitter. I’ll show her that I can treat her right.
“Just coffee, my treat, nothing more. I want to apologize for what happened back at the ranch there. I promise I’ll have you home in an hour.”
My heart races as I wait for her reply.
“You free now?”
I don’t even think before moving. I simply grab my shirt and my keys and burst through that door, heading for my truck.
She’s already waiting by the side of the road when I arrive. This time her dress is blue; it’s got little swallows on it, and it reminds me of my brotherhood tattoo me and the boys share.
“Buckle up, beautiful,” I chirp as Lexi climbs into the truck. Oh, she’s nervous, but today she’s got red lipstick on, so I know she made an extra effort to see me. I pull over at the first coffee shop I can find. I gotta get this out of my system right now.
“You didn’t have to do this, Chief. You’ve nothing to apologize for.” Lexi blows on her hot coffee and looks up at me with those ocean-blue eyes.
“I was just making an excuse to see you anyhow,” I chuckle.
The corners of her mouth push into a smile, but she soon turns away from me.
“Look, Chief, I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. You seem like a fine young man and all, but I don’t need any trouble. I’ve got enough on my plate looking after Momma and my sisters, and the farm.”
“What makes you think I’m gonna cause you any trouble?”
Lexi’s eyes shift away from me. I know she doesn’t have the heart to say it out loud.
“I might be a convict, but I’m not a bad man, you know. I just lost my temper.”
Lexi puts down her coffee. Her lips part just a little bit. I can’t watch her too long, or I lose my train of thought. I rub my head.
“You’ve got siblings, don’t you, Lexi?”
“I do.
”
“And do you ever feel like it’s your duty to protect them, no matter what cost?”
“Probably more than you can understand.” There’s pain in Lexi’s voice.
“Well, I watched my Momma get beaten to a pulp by my own Daddy, and although every bone in my body wanted to tear him to shreds, I was always smaller and weaker than him.”
Lexi’s eyelashes flutters. I see water building in her lower lids.
“I never got to save Momma, but I damn sure vowed I wouldn’t ever let it happen to my sister.”
God, what am I doing? I haven’t spoken this long since before I was locked up. My anger management counselor says it’s good to talk stuff out, but that never came natural to me, until now. Lexi just gives me that look, as if to say, you can tell me anything.
“And gosh, I knew that boy was trouble from the day I met him. Georgina wouldn’t tell me at first, but I knew he was up to something. He would disrespect her when he thought I couldn’t hear; he said things a gentleman should never say to a lady. But one day, I saw him out in town with another girl. He saw me, and you know what? He didn’t even care.”
My hands tighten into a fist; I feel the rage boiling through my blood just like I did that night.
“I promised that I would take care of her. Yet here he was, stood just in front of me with another woman around his arm. It was like he was laughing at me, Lexi. It was like staring at my Daddy all over again. He looked at me like I was some helpless lamb. And that’s when I snapped.”
“Chief, I had no idea.”
“Well, he didn’t die, and I suppose that’s for the best. I got five years inside for what I did to him that night, but I’d do it all again if it meant wiping that smile off his face and making him disappear from my sister’s life forever. I did three in the end for good behavior. I’ve never been one to start a fight when it ain’t needed, so I kept my head down and got out of there. Bird and Tiger always had my back, and we all knew we couldn’t go back out to the city. So that’s when Eagle Acres was born. And I’m proud of where I am now. I just thought you should know that.”
Chapter Four: Lexi
The second my daddy walked out on us, I made myself a promise: no man will ever break my heart the way he did to my Momma.
He always told me that Lexa and I were his dreams come true, that he couldn’t believe his luck when he found out he was having twin girls. He’d take us out in the truck to pick berries and bring them home for Momma to put in her pies.
But that all changed when Ava was born. I was so little, but I already knew something wasn’t right. She got sick so much. Daddy started getting nasty, getting angry at all of us. He drank more and more and more, and sometimes I remember praying to God, hoping he’d stop, but he never did.
I remember when he finally walked out, I was happy. I thought it would stop Momma from crying and that finally, we’d be happy again, but I guess that’s not how it worked out.
Now I gotta take care of Momma when she gets sad, cus she still does. Ava’s getting older, we go longer and longer without her getting sick, but it doesn’t mean it’s not still hard. Add to that that I’m studying online to try and get myself a decent job, and well, you’ll understand why I’ve never had time to date any boys and why I ain’t wanted to neither.
But here I am, sitting in front of an ex-con, feeling myself slip deeper and deeper into his hold. He’s probably only a few years older than me, really, but his size, his strength, and his time in jail make him feel older. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I’m in the presence of a real, grown man.
Sure, I kissed a few boys back when I was a teenager, didn’t we all? But not once did I feel that urge that I’m feeling right now. I’m almost angry with myself for not being able to control it. All I want to do is take his hand and take him back to my bedroom. I want to know what a man like that could do with a girl like me. I might not be the slimmest, but I know how strong Chief is, I think about it every day.
“I promised I’d have you home within the hour,” Chief wraps his hands around his coffee cup. I can tell how hard it was for him to open up like that.
“Well, some things can’t be rushed.” I take a deep breath. “You know, Chief, it never bothered me that you were an ex-con.”
“Now, I know you’re having me on!”
I push his hand away and look down to the floor.
“I’m serious! I knew you were kind the minute I met you. I just know how many cons end up back in jail. I know what it’s like to have a man leave you when you need him most. I can’t let that happen to me.”
The waitress looks over to us for the third time in the last ten minutes.
“We’d better go,” Chief whispers. I barely have a chance to reach for my purse before Chief slips the waitress a note. We hurry into his truck as the night air catches my shoulders.
“I’m not going back, Lexi.” Chief sighs as he releases his words. I furrow my brow at him.
“To jail?”
He takes his eyes off the road and stares at me.
“Yeh, to jail. I’m never going back there. That’s the one thing I can promise you right here and right now. That place is nothing but a rotting cess-pit that only causes more problems. I’m lucky I had Tiger and Bird, or I might never have made it out.”
“I know you don’t want to go back, Chief. But it’s not just you, the system-”
“I know how the system works, Lexi.”
His voice raises, but not out of anger; it’s frustration.
He breathes in deeply.
“This farm, out here in the middle of nowhere, why do you think we started this?”
“I know what you’re saying, I just-”
“I put everything I had into this. I didn’t just choose anyone to do this with me. Tiger and Bird are my brothers. We don’t drink no more; you won’t ever see one illegal substance on that ranch. We’re careful, we just do our work and go to bed every night, you get me?”
I lean back and fold my arms. I want to believe him.
“Well, what about your sister?”
Chief turns his head sharply to me.
“I know why you did what you did. I think that guy had it coming. But what if something like that happens again, what if someone were to hurt me? Don’t you think you might lose control again?”
He shakes his head from side to side. He opens his mouth to go to speak but then stops himself.
“What?” I scoff.
“Were you and I in two different ranches the other day, Lexi? Because the way I see it, those two guys, grabbing you and speaking to you like that, they deserved to be knocked out cold. But did I do that?”
“Well, I guess-”
“No, I did not, Lexi! Because as much as I hate them and find them degrading, I go to my anger management classes every damn week, and when I saw you there, all frightened I knew that I had to make you feel safe. And I know now, that violence, no matter how justified, will never make a woman feel safe!”
We spend the next few minutes in silence. When I finally look at him, he’s looking at me too.
“I’m sorry if I got a bit worked up there, Lexi. I’m not used to speaking to women. For the last three years, I’ve been-”
“In jail, I know. And don’t be sorry, I should be sorry. I didn’t mean to assume anything about you, and I’m proud of you for working on your anger management, that’s a big step. And I want to thank you for taking me out tonight and telling me everything you told me.”
The truck rolls to a stop. For a second, I think he might have pulled over in some remote location so that he can rip off my clothes and have me hear in his truck, but even though the night sky, I recognize the fluttering lights of my house.
Have I blown this with my judgment?
“Lexi, I’m sorry your daddy left you, your mom and your sisters-”
“That’s not your fault, Chief.”
“If I’d have known that out here in this little town was a woma
n as beautiful and as kind as you, maybe I would have taken a different route that night in Oklahoma City.”
My heart lifts into my chest. I reach out my hand and touch his face. His stubble prickles my fingers, and his eyes blink hard while he looks at me.
“Don’t ever feel like you need to change, Chief.”
I pull him close, this time, I don’t want to kiss his cheek, I want to taste his lips.
Chief’s cold tongue surprises me, gently caressing my lips. I let him in without him even asking, and his hands slip around my body, pulling me into him tightly. My fingers run through his dark hair, pushing it back with my exasperated groans.