by RJ Blain
In the future, I’d start carrying a pocketknife everywhere I went. By the time I finished picking off the tape enough I could stop the water, my fingers ached, I was soaked, and I wanted to whip Cathy with it for being a pain in the ass. I didn’t even know if the woman below was still alive.
I approached the hole, eyed the distance down, and wondered if I’d be able to climb up once I got down there. With the shovel, I could probably manage something. Sighing, I retrieved the probable murder weapon, cursed myself for being my ma’s daughter, and slid over the edge and splashed down beside Cathy’s victim.
My first move was to remove the gag, a long strip of duct tape, with a single, hard yank.
I didn’t blame the woman for screaming. “Sorry.”
“That fucking hurt!”
I always loved when introductions turned sour from the get go, though there wasn’t much I could do about the situation. “Sorry. It would’ve hurt more if I tried to pick it off. Fast, brutal, but over.”
“You’re not her.”
“No, I’m not. She lured me here.” I crouched beside her, kneeling in the water, and eyeing the woman’s wrists, which were bound with duct tape. Cursing Cathy, I went to work setting the woman free. “I’m Emma.”
“Emma? Emma Sansaul?”
I froze. “You know my name?”
“Oh. This is not good. This is not good at all.”
Puzzled, I resumed my work setting her free, having doubts about the entire situation. “Why is this not good?”
“Isn’t your father some hot shot attorney?”
“Well, he certainly thinks so.” Damned egotistical, aggressive swan. “Not sure how that’s relevant to this situation, though.”
“That woman’s up for a drug trial and wants him representing her so she can clear her name. If she gets a hold of you, she can get what she wants.”
“Well, that’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“What? Why would you say that? It’s true!”
I shook my head, jerking at the tape to get it to separate. The water didn’t help, making it hard to get a good hold of the slippery material. “Ma’s an angel, Mom’s a succubus, and Dad’s a lycanthrope. I’d call her pretty dumb to go toe-to-toe with that trio. Cathy’s a real chatter, isn’t she?”
“She likes to gloat. We need to hurry before she comes back.”
“I punched her in the throat and smashed her over the head with her own shovel. If she gets up from that anytime soon, I’ll be surprised. I’m more worried about this damned place collapsing in on itself.”
“You smashed her over the head with a shovel?”
“Easy acquittal. I could run the case with my eyes closed. Self-defense and in defense of another stacked together makes for a pretty strong case in my favor. They’ll toss the charges, especially since she’s been classified as a serial killer.”
“She has been? How do you know?”
“Some idiot thought it would be a good idea to have me help find her, that’s how I know.”
“You’re serious. You’re in the FBI? I thought you were a dancer.”
“I am a dancer. I just happen to also be a lawyer, and for some reason, this translates to being FBI material. In good news, I’m not in the FBI yet. I’m just a tag along. Honestly, I think it’s pretty ridiculous.”
“I’m Jolene. Jolene Bernard.”
I groaned, bowed my head, and sighed. “You’re related to Kenneth, aren’t you?”
“Wait. You know Kenneth? He’s my brother. That’s why I’m here. That bitch didn’t like that I spent so much time with him. She didn’t believe me when I tried to tell her he’s my brother.”
Maybe I could dodge the whole part about knowing Kenneth, the probability of being stuck with him for life, and my mixed emotions on the subject. Would he even want me around after he found out I’d surprise attacked someone, punched her in the throat, and beat her with a shovel?
“How’d you end up here?” After a few more yanks, I freed Jolene’s hands and dropped the tape into the water. “Sorry if that hurt.”
“Beats being tied up down here, so don’t worry about it. Anyway, I was tailing my brother. He wouldn’t tell me why he was going to Boulder, so I followed him here. Well, I arrived two days before he was supposed to and told the family I was going on a work trip. Before I had a chance to find him, she grabbed me, tied me up, and dumped me in this hole.”
“Well, I can help with getting you out of this hole, but you’ll have to deal with your brother problems on your own.”
She snorted. “As always. Why does he always find the damned lunatics?”
“Wait, what?”
“I bet he came here looking for some lunatic druggie he fell for during a bust. I tried to tell him to avoid the low-life druggies, but no.”
I sat in the water, lowered my head, and ran my fingers through my hair. “He said something about a jail bird, didn’t he?”
“You do know Kenneth. Yes, he did. The whole family is worried about it. He’s obviously smitten, and it’s not like him to mix work with his personal life like that.”
At somewhere around two feet deep, if I flopped over and took a nap, I’d inevitably drown, which had some advantages in the grand scheme of things. “If I told you that it was a huge misunderstanding, would you believe me?”
“No, not when it comes to my brother!”
“I probably wouldn’t, either. If I had a brother or sister. Had to try.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Would you consider anyone who uses pixie dust a low-life druggie?”
“Well, no. Not at all. It’s legal. Unless you get the higher grades, and honestly, who hasn’t wanted a hit of that stuff?”
“Well, my mother thought it would be funny to get me drunk and give me a stash of the highest-grade stuff, resulting in an eventful evening at a bar.”
Jolene stared at me, her mouth dropping open while she blinked.
I waited for her to work through the reality of my announcement.
“You’re his jail bird?”
“A single night in solitary because I really shouldn’t ever get a hold of the good pixie dust. It took three rounds of neutralizer to counter. They let me out when I had two functioning brain cells and adult supervision. An angel verified I had no idea what grade the dust was, so I wasn’t charged with anything. Dad would’ve loved that case had it made it through the courts.”
Jolene snickered, sucked in a breath, and hiccupped. “This explains so much. You’re his type, and you have a ridiculous bar bust story. No wonder his engine got revved. I’m sorry. I had no idea it was something like that. I thought you were...”
“Like Chatty Cathy the Serial Killer up there?”
“Yeah, like her.”
I’d probably go to hell, but I’d enjoy the trip. “We should get out of this pit and hit her with the shovel again. She’s killed at least four people over him.”
“She what?”
“She murdered four people.”
“But why?”
“I’m going with psychotic, mentally ill, obsessed with your brother, and jealous.”
“My brother’s not going to like that at all.”
“He’s also been transferred out of narcotics to serial killers because of this. The FBI might have a few loose bolts in management as someone thought it was a good idea.”
“Oh, shit. They’ve put him back on homicides? He’s going to be a bear about that. He hates working with a partner.”
I would let Kenneth break that news to her, assuming I didn’t run away at the first opportunity and become a hermit. After the day I had, the idea tempted me. “Serial killers, specifically.”
“How do you even know this?”
“Well, that’s where things get a little complicated.”
“You mean they weren’t already?”
While she had a good point, I shrugged, scrambled back to my feet, and grabbed the shovel, eye
ing the wall and digging a few foot holds so we could scramble out. “Well, it started when I almost missed my flight. I boarded at the last minute to discover the only open seat was next to your brother.”
“Oh, dear. Was he a pest?”
“When isn’t he a pest?” I complained, pointing at my fresh holes. “You go first. I’ll boost you up if you need it.”
“All right.” Without any help from me, Jolene climbed out of the pit. I handed the shovel up for her before joining her.
Cathy hadn’t moved from where I’d left her, and before I could stop her, Jolene grabbed the shovel, lifted it over her head, and cracked the business end into Cathy’s skull. Twice.
“Well, if she wasn’t dead before, she probably is now.”
Jolene scowled, eyed the woman, and hit her a few extra times. “How badly do you think I’ve screwed up my chances to claim self-defense?”
“If my first hit killed her, I think you’ll get off with potential mutilation of a corpse, and with a little work, I expect the charges would be dropped. Circumstances would be considered, and being dumped in a hole and slowly drowned will probably earn you the sympathy of the jury.”
“How about you?”
“The jury likes heroics, rescue stories, and the like. Self-defense is an easy one for me, especially when I include how you were being slowly drowned. I think we’ll be fine.”
“Huh. Who knew lawyers could be useful to have around? Maybe we shouldn’t have killed her. Yet, that is. Killed her yet. I’m pretty sure the bitch deserved to die.”
Maybe I needed to have my virus levels checked, but Jolene looked ready to start gnawing on Cathy’s body. “That would have become a premeditated murder charge, and those are a lot harder to dodge, Jolene.”
“You’re probably right.”
I stared at the body at our feet and shook my head at the insanity of it all.
Chapter Eleven
Jolene wanted to dump Cathy’s body in the hole, cover her, and leave without anyone ever knowing she’d been held captive by a serial killer. I understood the stung pride side of things. I had a gap in my memories, and the instant I called my parents, I’d have a lot of explaining to do and no way to satisfy them.
Unfortunately for us, our phones were gone, which meant we had to use Cathy’s, which would screw with evidence and leave our prints on her shit, but I figured an emergency counted as a good reason to mess around with the crime scene.
It wasn’t like I had any choice in the matter. Bracing myself for the worst, I dialed Ma’s number, grateful I had a single bar of reception.
Jolene played with the shovel and Cathy’s head, and I turned away so I wouldn’t have to watch the woman finish mutilating the body.
“I see you found a phone,” Ma answered. “It’s not yours.”
“I killed someone, and I’m using her phone to tell you about it.” The fastest way to get Ma on the move was to hang up on her, so I did, and I waited.
Even expecting Ma to show up, the flash of golden light startled me so much I jumped, tripped over my own feet, and plunged into the hole. I landed hard, swallowed water, and choked on it.
The terror of drowning in a death pit made by a psychotic serial killer surged through me, and the next thing I knew, feathers burst in a cloud around me and I honked my alarm.
Fuck.
Ma leaned over the edge. “It seems your father was right. You really do need to get your virus levels checked.”
The lycanthropy virus did a lot of things, but it didn’t teach me how to be a swan, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to swim without feeling like I was about to roll over and breathe water again.
“You’re not going to drown, Emma. Settle down. You don’t even need to work hard to float. Just let it happen. You could rest your head on your back and take a nap without having to worry about a thing.”
Jolene joined Ma and gaped at me. “You’re a lycanthrope?”
“She sure is. And it’s her first shift, too. She’s been hissing mad for days, and frankly, I’m surprised her father didn’t take her to the CDC to have her virus levels checked before she came here. Really, Emma. If you can’t cool your temper, you can stay down there for a while. You’re worse than George sometimes.”
“George?”
“Her father, of course. You look like you’ve had a rough day, missy.”
“Jolene.”
“Agent Bernard’s little sister, yes. Your mother called him and told him you’d disappeared. We found out not long after Emma wandered off.”
“Lured, like me. That bitch did it.”
“Well, she won’t be doing it again, that’s for sure. Was tenderizing the body necessary?”
“Yes. She had me in that hole and was going to drown me.”
“Yes, I can understand why you’d want to beat her with a muddy shovel. A forgivable enough sin, I suppose. She was already dead.”
“I can live with a count of mutilation of a body.”
“I see Emma already informed you of the potential crimes involved. Just like her.” One day, I’d figure out how an angel sighed. One day. I’d have to stalk Ma and do some intensive studying.
Ma sighed again. “No, Emma. You do not. Think quieter so I can call your father.”
I tested Ma’s claim I could bury my beak in my feathers on my back and float without drowning. It worked well enough I only hissed my irritation at being stuck in the pit with no idea how to get out on my own.
“George, I seem to have startled our little chick into her first shift, and she fell in a hole.” Ma leaned over the pit’s edge again. “She’s about as big as you are, and she’s currently hissing because she has no idea how to get out of the hole she fell into. Maybe if you weren’t so flighty, Emma, you wouldn’t be stuck in a hole right now. Be a dear and tell Agent Bernard Emma located his sister. She’s fine, although I’m afraid she’s guilty of a count of body mutilation. Emma took offense to being lured away from us and used a shovel with lethal force. Clearly self-defense. Miss Bernard took out some of her temper on the body after being freed. As for location, we’re on the outskirts of Boulder beneath an abandoned warehouse. I’m cheating a little to get better reception. Do bring some dry clothes for the girls when you come. You may want to give Agent Bernard the complete disclosure of what to expect from a cranky first-shift lycanthrope. No, George. She’s cranky. She’s been hissing non-stop since I called you. I’ll leave the phone in the warehouse above for you so you can track it.” Ma hung up, and her phone vanished. “There. Your father will handle the details. Agent Bernard is quite miffed you gave us the slip. I thought you’d appreciate the warning.”
Jolene snorted. “Wasn’t her fault. That bitch had tricky magic. From what I gathered, she can take over someone once, and that’s how she gets them where she wants them to go, and she uses that repulsion magic of hers to make sure no one notices it happening.”
“That’s how she caught you.”
“Right.”
“Well, she won’t be doing that again. She’s quite dead.”
“Good.”
“Now we just need to settle in to wait for the cavalry to arrive. Why don’t you tell me everything that happened from the beginning? I think you’ll find questioning will go much smoother with an angel on your side.”
Ma kept Jolene company while I floated in a pit and got my white feathers muddy. The few times I’d tried to put my wings to good use, I’d collided with the wall, and no amount of honking or hissing enlightened me about how to fly or escape without help.
“Jolene, are you all right?” Kenneth demanded.
I tried to bury my entire head in my feathers, ultimately forced to hide under my own wing to escape the embarrassment.
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
“I’m muddy. That’s it. And you might have to arrest me, apparently?”
“Typically, we don’t arrest victims of kidnapping and attempted murder
for using force to escape their situation.”
“A count of body mutilation.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t tell me that. It’s like you want me to arrest you.”
“I’m just being honest.”
“Be honest when you’re not covered in mud and weren’t in line to be victim number five of a serial killer!” Kenneth howled.
“That’s not my fault.”
Dad crouched at the edge of the pit and stared at me, a brow arched. “You’re absolutely filthy. What have you been doing down there? Rolling in it?”
“She tried to climb out a few times and learned the hard way she doesn’t have enough room to take flight. I was hoping she’d figure out how to shift back on her own, but I’ve determined I was being unreasonable.”
“It’s better for her to stay a swan for at least a few more hours. It’ll give her virus a chance to recover from her shift,” Dad replied. “You all right down there?”
I lifted my head, drew in as deep a breath as I could, and protested my situation in a honk.
“Well, I’m going to go out on a limb and say your lungs are healthy.” Dad took off his shirt and tossed it to someone, and his pants followed a moment later, leaving him in a pair of boxers. He jumped in beside me, grabbed hold of my neck, and held me in place while he looked me over. I hissed and honked, struggling to pull free of his grip.
“Stop your whining. I’m not hurting you. I’m making sure all your pieces are situated in the appropriate fashion. They are, in case you were wondering. Good conformation, all your feathers seem intact, although you’re not going to like getting all that mud out. We’ll have to soap you off and possibly apply oil to your feathers, although shifting usually fixes any soap-induced damage. Be grateful for that.”
I bet Dad held my neck so I couldn’t bite him, and I hissed my displeasure at being thwarted.
“She wants to bite you, George,” Ma announced.