by Lee Goldberg
80. The Ultimate Impostor. NBC 5/12/79. 2 hours. Universal. Director: Paul Stanley. Producer/Writer: Lionel E. Siegel, from the novel Capricorn Man by William Zacha, Sr.
A secret agent (Joseph Hacker) whose brain is "erased" by bad guys has a computer surgically implant in his skull, allowing him to be programmed with an all-new personality and set of skills. The catch is the programming fades after seventy-two hours. You can just imagine how each episode in the proposed series would have ended. Keith Andes is the scientist who programs him, Macon McCalman gives him his assignments, and Erin Gray is a Fellow agent. This pilot can be bought or rented at your local video store.
Cast: Joseph Hacker (as Frank Monihan), Keith Andes (Eugene Danziger), Macon McCalman (Jake McKeever), Erin Gray (Beatrice Tate), Tracy Brooks Swope (Danielle Parets), John Van Dreelen (Reuben Parets), Rosalind Chao (Lai-Ping), Bobby Riggs (Tennis Pro), Norman Burton (Papich), Robert Phillips (Red Cottle), Greg Barnett (Sgt. Witiger), Thomas Bellin (Joe Mason), Loren Berman (Dominic), Bill Capizzi (Tony), Cindy Castillo (Esteban), Joseph Hardin (Eddie), Mark Garcia (Felippe), Graydon Gould (Carl Lathrop), Chip Johnson (Martin), Mike Kulcsar (Vaya Makov), Betty Kwan (Ms. Wang), Bob Thomas (Tomas), W.T. Zacha (Weeks).
81. Vampire. ABC 10/7/79. 2 hours. MTM Enterprises and Company Four. Director: E.W. Swackhamer. Executive Producer: Steven Bochco. Producer: Gregory Hoblit. Writers/Creators: Steven Bochco and Michael Kozoll. Music: Fred Karlin.
This off-beat black comedy pilot comes from the same production team that later would be responsible for Hill Street Blues. Architect John Rawlins (Jason Miller) builds a San Francisco church and unknowingly offends a vampire (Richard Lynch). When the enraged, centuries-old vampire kills Rawlins' girlfriend for vengeance, the architect teams up with a retired cop (E.G. Marshall) to pursue and destroy the bloodsucking beast. "The pilot was a long shot," says Bochco. "In a sense, it was a cop show with a little bit of the Night Stalker. It was fun. But making pilots is fun. It's what happens after they sell where it gets ugly."
Cast: Jason Miller (as John Rawlins), Richard Lynch (Anton Voytek), E.G. Marshall (Jarry Kilcoyne), Kathryn Harrold (Leslie Rawlins), Barrie Youngfellow (Andrea Parker), Michael Tucker (Christopher Bell), Jonelle Allen (Brandy). Jessica Walter (Nicole DeCamp), Adam Starr (Tommy Parker), Wendy Cutler (Iris), Scott Paulin (Father Hanley), David Hooks (Casket Salesman), Brendon Dillon (Father Devlin), Joe SpineII (Captain Desher), Byron Webster (Selby). Ray K. Gorman (Detective), Nicholas Gunn (Dance Instructor), Herb Braila (Felon), Tony Perez (Cop).
82. Velvet. ABC 8/27/84. 2 hours. Aaron Spelling Productions. Director: Richard Lang. Executive Producers: Aaron Spelling and Douglas S. Cramer. Producers: E. Duke Vincent and Richard Lang. Writers: Ernest Tidyman and Ned Wynn. Music: Dominic Frontiers.
Yet another attempt to clone Aaron Spelling's hit Charlie's Angels, this time by Spelling himself. Four attractive aerobic dancers (Leah Ayres, Shari Belafonte-Harper, Mary-Margaret Flumes, and Sheree Wilson) are actually secret agents using Polly Bergen's Velvet International health spas as a front for their espionage activities.
Cast: Leah Ayres (as Cass Dayton), Shari &bionic-Harper (Julie Rhodes), Mary-Margaret Humes (Lauren Dawes), Sheree Wilson (Ellen Stockwell), Polly Bergen (Mrs. Vance), Michael Ensign (Stefan), Leigh McCloskey (James Barstow), Bruce Abbott (Breed), Judson Scott (Mats Edholm), Bo Brundin (Prof. Charles Vandemeer), Clyde Kusatsu (Dr. Edward Yashima), William Windom (Government Official), Ellen Greer (Nora Vandemeer), David Faustino (Billy Vandermeer), Quinn (Dr. Harmon), Stanley Bower (Cullom), Stephen Davies (Farrow), I lolly Butler (Receptionist). Carrie Rhodes (Instructor), Paul Tuerpe (Contact). Danny Wells (Producer). Anthony DeLongis (Rawls), Tim Haldeman (Sammy), Cis Rundle (Flight Attendant), Alya Swan (Dowager).
83. Weekend Nun. ABC 12/20/72. 90 minutes. Paramount Television. Director: Jeannot Szwarc. Producers: Tom Miller and Edward Milkis. Writer: Ken Trevey. Music: Charles Fox.
Joanna Pettet is a nun who doubles as a probation officer in this pilot based on the real-life exploits of Joyce Duco.
Cast: Joanna Pettet (as Sister Mary Damian/Marjorie Walker), Vic Morrow (Chuck Jardine), Ann Sothern (Mother Bonaventure), James Gregory (Sid Richardson), Beverly Garland (Bobby Sue Prewitt), Kay Lenz (Audree Prewitt), Michael Clark (Rick Seiden), Tina Andrews (Bernetta), Judson Pratt (Priest), Barbara Werle (Sister Gratia), Lynn Borden (Connie), Marion Ross (Mrs. Crowe), Stephen Rogers (Arlen Crowe), Ann Summers (Administrator).
84. Wishman. CBS 6/23/83. 60 minutes. Viacom Enterprises. Director: James Frawley. Executive Producers: Terry Morse, Jr., Rick Rosenberg, and Robert Christiansen. Producer: Chris Seitz. Writer: John Stern. Music: Fred Karlin.
This flop features a creature modeled after ET and a timeworn concept that simply refuses to die—the [FILL IN THE BLANK) and his/her friend [FILL IN THE BLANK] pursued by an obsessed [FILL IN THE BLANK] intent on a) dissecting him/her/it or, b) prosecuting him/her/it for a crime he/she/it didn't commit or, c) [FILL IN THE BLANK). This time, bioengineer Joseph Bottoms creates a lovable creature in his lab and is forced to flee, along with fashion-photographer wife Linda Hamilton, when the evil corporation wants to exploit the cute beastie for profit. James Keach is their obsessed pursuer.
Cast: Joseph Bottoms (as Dr. Alex MacGregor), Linda Hamilton (Mattie MacGregor), James Keach (Galen Reed), Margarita Fernandez (Wishman), John Reilly (Sam), Jean Bruce Scott (Karen Kaleb), Sam Weisman (Nat Kaleb), Robin Gammen (Dr. Harold Wish), Jason Presson (Bruce Kaleb), Seaman Glass (Gate Guard), Burt Edwards (Ed).
85. World of Darkness. [Pilot #1] NBC 4/17/77. 60 minutes. Talent Associates. Director: Jerry London. Executive Producer: David Susskind. Producer: Diana Karew. Writer/Creator: Art Wallace. Music: Fred Karlin.
The first of two pilots about a sportswriter (Granville Van Dusen) who, after a serious accident, "dies" for two minutes on the operating table and awakens with a supernatural, psychic tic to "the world beyond" (which, incidentally, is the title of the second pilot). Voices from beyond the grave send him on missions to help people facing supernatural dangers.
Cast: Granville Van Dusen (as Paul Taylor), Tovah Feldshuh (Clara Sanford), Beatrice Straight (Joanna Sanford), Gary Merrill (Dr. Thomas Madsen), James Austin (John Sanford), Shawn McCann (Matty Barker), Jaune Eastwood (Helen), Al Bernardo (Max).
85a. The World Beyond. [Pilot #2]. NBC 1/27/78. 60 minutes. Talent Associates. Director: Noel Black. Executive Producer: David Susskind. Producer: Frederick Brogger. Writer/Creator: Art Wallace. Music: Fred Karlin.
A second attempt to sell the concept of a sportswriter (again played by Granville Van Dusen) who nearly expires on the operating table following an accident and now gets messages from "beyond" to help people in supernatural danger.
Cast: Granville Van Dusen (as Paul Taylor), JoBeth Williams (Marian Faber), Barnard Hughes (Frank Faber). Jan Van Evers (Sam Barker).
86. Wurlitzer Fox 1989. 60 minutes. Patrick Hasburgh Productions. Executive Producer/Writer: Patrick Hasburgh.
Scott Maldovan inherits a run-down diner, and with it, an antique, mahogany Wurlitzer jukebox which not only plays timeless hits, but hurls our hapless hero into the past, to the time when each particular song was popular. In the unproduced pilot, Scott is sent to 1968 San Francisco, help a woman in her battle against drug addiction. Hasburgh, with Stephen J. Cannell, created 21 Jump Street, which was the cornerstone of then-fledgling Fox network.
HIGH CONCEPT
SITCOMS
87. America 2100. ABC 7/24/79. 30 minutes. Rothman/Ganz Productions and Paramount Television. Director: Joel Zwick. Executive Producers/Writers: Austin Kalish and Irma Kalish. Producer: Gary Menteer. Creators: Mark Rothman and Lowell Ganz. Music: Jonathan Tunick.
Two nightclub comics (Jon Cutler and Mark King) are accidentally put into suspended animation and wake up in the year 2100, in a world now run by a friendly computer named Max (Sid Caesar), and are befriended by a female scientist (Karen Valentine).
Cast: Karen Valentine (as Dr. Karen Harland), Jon Cutler (
Chester Barnes), Mark King (Phil Keese), Sid Caesar (Voice of Max).
88. The Astronauts. CBS 8/11/82. 30 minutes. Elmar Productions. Director: Hal Cooper. Executive Producers: Rod Parker and Hal Cooper. Producer: Rita Dillon. Writer: Rod Parker. Creators: Hal Cooper and Rod Parker. Music: Billy Byers.
Based on the BBC sitcom, a Three's Company in outer space with two men and a beautiful woman stuck in an orbiting space station, dubbed Scilab. McLean Stevenson is their earthbound commanding officer.
Cast: Granville Van Dusen (as Capt. Roger Canfield), Brianne Leary (Astronaut Jennifer Tate), Bruce Davison (Astronaut David Ackroyd), McLean Stevenson (Col. Michael C. Booker), Nathan Cook (Scotty).
89. Ben Blue's Brothers. CBS 6/28/65. 30 minutes. Hal Roach Productions. Director: Norman Z. McLeod. Producer: Jerry Stagg. Writers: Marion Hargrove and Russell Beggs.
Veteran stage and screen comic Ben Blue would portray four different brothers: an aristocrat, a bum, a vaudeville performer and an average Joe. The only other recurring character not portrayed by Blue was his mother, played by Ruth McDevitt. The pilot was shot in 1958 but remained unaired until 1965. Costarred Barbara Heller, Robin Raymond, Lillian Culver, Yvette Vickers, Jane McGowan, Fred Easier.
90. Bungle Abbey. NBC 5/31/81. 30 minutes. Lucille Ball Productions. Director: Lucille Ball. Executive Producers: Gary Morton and Lucille Ball. Writers/Creators: Seamon Jacobs and Fred Fox.
Charlie Callas, Graham Jarvis, Antony Aida, Peter Palmer, Guy Marks, and Gino Conforti arc among the wacky monks in this zany monastery. Gale Gordon stars as the Abbott. William Landau guest starred in the pilot, which had the monks scheming to sell the portrait of monastery founder Brother Bungle to raise money for an orphanage.
91. Captain Ahab. CBS 9/3/65. 30 minutes. Director: Richard Crenna. Producer: Hal Kanter. Writers: Hal Kanter and Michael Fessier.
Two distant cousins—a naive southern girl (Judy Canova) and a streetwise Las Vegas showgirl (Jaye P. Morgan)—inherit their uncle's New York town house, a lot of money, and Captain Ahab, a ninety-year-old talking parrot. To keep the money, the two cousins have to live together and care for the smart-mouth parrot.
Cast: Judy Canova (as Tillie Meeks), Jaye P. Morgan (Maggie Feeney), Don Porter (Battersea), Sid Gould (Angelo), Francine York (Miss Langdon), Eddie Quillan (Emcee), Larry Blake (Hardhat), Tom Lound (Chauffeur). Maury Hill (Cop). Tommy Alende (Delivery Boy).
92. Danny and the Mermaid. CBS 5/17/78. 30 minutes. Ivan Tors Productions. Director: Norman Abbott. Executive Producer: Ivan Tors. Producer/Writer: Budd Grossman. Creator: Ivan Tors.
Danny Stevens is an oceanography student having troubles with his studies, who secretly befriends a mermaid named Aqua, her dolphin. and her sea lion, all of whom help him explore the ocean.
Cast: Harlee McBride (as Aqua), Patrick Collins (Danny Stevens), Ray Walston (Prof. Stoneman), Rick Fazel (Turtle), Conrad Janis (Psychiatrist), Ancel Cook (Pilot).
93. The Darwin Family. NBC 1956. Production Company: William Morris.
A spin-off from the NBC Comedy Hour. While monkeys frolic on the set. off-screen actors provide "their voices." Twenty years later, ABC would do a Saturday morning children's series entitled Lancelot Link based on the same notion.
94. Ethel Is an Elephant. CBS 6/18/80. 30 minutes. Columbia Pictures Television. Director: John Astin. Executive Producers: Bob Sweeney, Larry Rosen, and Edward H. Feldman. Producer/Writer: Larry Tucker.
Todd Susman is a New York photographer who shares his apartment with a baby elephant abandoned by a circus. The proposed series would chronicle this awkward living arrangement and his constant battles with the city and his landlord to keep the animal. People called it a "smartly written bit of Aesopian whimsy."
Cast: Todd Susman (as Eugene Henderson), Steven Peterman (Howard Dimitri). Liberty Godshall (Dr. Diane Taylor). Ed Barth (Harold Brainer), Stephen Pearlman (Prosecutor), John C. Becher (Judge), Bernie McInerney (Cop).
95. Good Old Days. NBC 7/11/66. 30 minutes. Desilu. Director: Howard Morris. Producers/Writers: Hal Goodman and Larry Klein.
A comedy about the problems of a prehistoric family a la The Flintstones. In the pilot, teenage caveman Rok meets beautiful cavegirl Pantha.
Cast: Darryl Hickman (as Rok), Kathleen Freeman (Mom), Ned Glass (Dad), Chris Noel (Pantha), Dodo Denny (Ugh), Beverly Adams (Cave-girl), Dean Moray (Kid), Jacques Aubuchon (Soc), Joe Bova (Kook). Bruce Yarnall (Slag), Charles Horvath (Brute).
96. Great Day. ABC 5/23/77. 30 minutes. Aaron Ruben Productions. Director: Peter Baldwin. Executive Producer: Aaron Ruben. Producer: Gene Marcione. Writer/Creator: Aaron Ruben. Music: Peter Matz.
This pilot was supposed to illustrate how fun life is as a skid row bum in New York's bowery. It failed.
Cast: Al Molinaro (as Peavey), Dub Taylor (Doc), Guy Marks (Boomer), Spo-De-Wee (Jabbo), Joseph Elic (Moose), Billy Barty (Billy), Pat Crenshaw (Pop), Alice Nunn (Molly), Audrey Christie (Mrs. Graham), Dorothy Konrad (Woman).
97. Katmandu. ABC 1980. 30 minutes. Paramount Television. Producer: Garry Marshall. Writer: Jeff Ganz.
A teenage prince and princess of an exotic foreign land. and their beautiful female bodyguard Kat, are on-the-run from the country's evil king, and take refuge with a typical American family. Stars include Vicki Lawrence. Victor Buono, Alice Ghostley, and Deborah Pratt.
98. A Little Bit Strange. NBC 4/23/89. 30 minutes. NBC Productions. Director: Jack Shea. Executive Producers/Writers: Topper Caren and David Duclon. Producer: Michael Holt. Music: Greg Poree. Theme: Ron Bussard.
An attempt at melding The Addams Family and The Brady Bunch brands of 1960s comedy, with a touch of Cosby for contemporary audiences. Michael Warren is a widower raising a most unusual family—he and his son are warlocks, his daughter is a witch, his mother is psychic, his brother a soul-singing bat, and his nephew is made of mud. Enter single mother Marily McClane, a "normal" woman who marries into a family that is—cue the theme song—"A Little Bit Strange."
Cast: Michael Warren (as Ben Masterson), Vanessa Bell Calloway (Marilyn McClane), Shawn Skie (TJ), Cherie Johnson (Tasha), Martin Lawrence (Sydney), Myra J (Maggie), Finis Henderson (Uncle Frank), Thomas Ryan (Customer), Raymond Davis (George Washington).
99. Love at First Sight. [Pilot #1] CBS 10/13/80. 30 minutes. Filmways. Director: Bill Persky. Executive Producer/Writer/Creator: Nick Arnold. Producer: Peter Locke. Music: Jose Feliciano.
The first of two pilots about a woman (Susan Bigelow) with conservative parents (Robert Rockwell and Peggy McCay) who marries a blind musician (Philip Levien) who writes jingles for an ad agency.
Cast: Philip Levien (as Jonathan Alexander), Susan Bigelow (Karen a-ok Alexander), Pat Cooper (Francis Fame), Deborah Baltzell (Genevieve Lamont), Angela amen (Denise), Robert Rockwell (Mr. Bellamy), Peggy McCay (Mrs. Bellamy).
99a Love at First Sight. [Pilot #2] CBS 3/29/82. 30 minutes. Filmways. Director: Nick Havinga. Executive Producer/Writer/Creator: Nick Arnold. Producer: Peter Locke. Music: Jose Feliciano.
The Alexanders think about buying a gun after they are robbed.
Cast: Philip Levien (as Jonathan Alexander), Susan Bigelow (Karen Alexander), Macon McCalman (Mr. Sawyer), Reni Santoni (Stan).
100. The Many Wives of Patrick. CBS 1980. 30 minutes. NRW Productions. Producers: Don Nichol!, Mickey Ross, and Bernie West. Writer: Budd Grossman.
From the folks behind Three's Company comes this adaptation of a BBC sitcom about an insurance agent who has been married and divorced six times. The comedy would arise from myriad complications of life with his six former spouses and his various children.
101. Mars: Base One. CBS 1988. 30 minutes. Mebzor Productions. Executive Producers: Edward K. Milkis and Dan Aykroyd. Writer/ Creator: Dan Aykroyd.
The misadventures, a la The Jetsons, of a family adjusting to life on Mars, where they live next door to a Soviet technician and his American-stripper wife. The 1988 Writers Guild strike forced production of the pilot—and any serious consideration of it for the network schedule—to be
put on the back burner.
102. Merlin the Magician. George Huskin and Associates, 1959. Writer: Phil Rapp.
British vaudeville comic Richard Hearn stars in this "zany comedy" about the famed magician in King Arthur's court. The twist is he always conjures up such modern objects as gas ranges, cars and the like to solve his problems. The series would try to capture the tone of Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.
103. Mickey and the Contessa. CBS 8/12/63. 30 minutes. Desilu. Director: William Asher. Producer: Cy Howard. Writers: William Davenport and Cy Howard.