"Hi, you decided to stop sulking and grow a pair?" Her cheerful, non-judgmental voice gave him a boost of spirit.
Well, that's telling me then. In spite of himself, he laughed. "Guess so. Is the dinner invitation still on?"
"Yes, of course it is. As long as you accept Marco will give you the third degree for upsetting me." She went silent for a moment. "Because you have. We needed to know you were all right, not holed up in a cave or something. Get your sorry ass round here as soon as, okay?"
"Yeah. See you in an hour." Cade ended the call, happier than he had been since Anna had left him. It was only when he'd showered and dried himself that he looked in a mirror. Daisy wasn't far wrong about the cave. His hair needed cutting, and he definitely needed a shave. He didn't have time to do justice to either, so he contented himself with trimming his new beard—who would have thought it would grow in red—and tying his hair back in a braid. He found a pair of clean jeans that he realized Anna had washed before she left, and held them to his face. He smiled wryly as he realized he was sniffing them to see if they carried her scent. They didn't. He pulled them over his legs and zipped them up before dragging a black t-shirt over his head.
After a long search he found his car and house keys in the linen basket where they must have fallen out of his worn jeans when he'd thrown them in. His wallet was easier. It was in the fridge. Cade shook his head as he exited the house. What next? His ropes used as the washing line?
****
Daisy was waiting for him as he parked his car on her drive. She stared at him intently for a long minute before she burst into tears and pulled him close for a tight hug. "You bastard, don't you ever, ever pull a stunt like this again, you hear me? Marco has had a hell of a time with me, and my ass is so sore I can hardly sit down. You scared me. You didn’t answer your phone or texts or emails except for those bloody words … have you heard? I told you I'd tell you if I hear anything, and I haven't. Okay?"
Cade swallowed hard. Her obvious distress upset him. He hadn't thought just how his anti-social behavior would upset other people.
"Daisy, hush now." He stroked her hair in the same manner as he would soothe a sub. She sniffed a few times and took the hankie he'd taken out of his pocket and offered to her and blew her nose.
"Sorry, but oh god, how I've worried. Marco has been pissed with me big time."
"No," a deep voice said from behind her. "Marco has been worried about you and pissed with him. Hi, Caden, thank fuck you've decided to return to the land of the living. I was thinking I was going to have to haul your sorry ass over here and teach you to be a Dom again."
Cade laughed. He'd taught Marco everything he knew.
"Yeah right, that'll be the day. So you going to feed me? I'm ready to slay the dragons and win the fair lady again." If the fair lady ever wants winning.
Marco slapped his back. "Unhand my sub, Master Caden." He winked. "Unless you want to do a little double-handed work?"
Daisy squealed and wagged her finger at them as she preceded them into the house.
"No thank you, Sirs. We need to plot and plan, not plot and play."
True enough. I have no idea how though.
****
"Daisy, that was great." Cade sat back in his chair and sighed in satisfaction. It was the first proper meal—no, scratch that, the first meal period—since Anna had left.
"Good, ‘cause once we've had coffee in the lounge, Sir wants to talk to you."
Cade blinked at her abrupt change of terminology. During the meal she had called Marco by his given name, and there had been no formality involved. He knew they didn't live the lifestyle 24/7, and Cade was sure he hadn't lost his edge to the extent he would have missed any signals given.
"You two go and sit in the lounge. I'll bring the coffee through." Daisy stood up and left the table. Marco raised his eyebrows. "Better do as she says. She gets bratty when she's crossed, and she doesn't deserve to be punished." Marco stood up and waited for Cade to go ahead of him. "Seriously, man, she's been out of her mind with worry for you both. Have you heard from Anna?"
Caden shook his head as he entered the lounge and sat in one of the big squishy armchairs. "God, I love this chair. If it ever goes missing, you'll know where to look. And Anna? Not a bloody thing except my twice weekly 'I'm fine' emails. Has Daisy?"
"Has Daisy what?" The owner of the name entered carrying a large tray that held coffee and mugs. Marco took it from her and put it on the coffee table. "Thanks, babe. Have you heard from Anna?" Marco said.
"Nope. She won't ring me because she knows if you asked me I'd tell you the truth. She won't put me in that position." She poured coffee into mugs and handed them round before sitting on the rug by Marco's feet.
Cade smiled to himself. They were so suited, much, much better than he and Daisy had been. "You two look perfect together," he said before he had time to think "I've wanted to say so for ages. You mesh."
"Ah, Cade, thank you. We think so too. And um, oh lord, I'm just going to come out with it. Look, you really aren't enjoying the club anymore, are you?" Daisy said in a rush, her words running into each other as she tried to get them out.
Cade considered her statement as he wondered what it led up to. She was right though. His interest was negligible, and to all intents and purposes he'd let Daisy do what she thought fit with regards to running it.
"No, not really. I haven't been fair, have I?"
He noticed the worried glance she gave Marco, who stroked her shoulder as if in reassurance.
"It's not that, Cade," Marco said. "Daisy will do everything that's needed for as long as it's necessary. But I've got another idea. Could you walk away from the club? Have a clean break except for maybe guesting?"
The idea shook him. He'd been jaded, tired or fed up before, who hadn't? However, he'd never ever thought about walking away. Until that moment. His heart beat faster, and his pulse raced in a way he hadn't experienced for ages. The excited I'm-interested-this-is-going-to-be-good sort of way. Splinters of exhilaration pricked his skin, and it was all he could do to stay in his seat and not dance around the room shouting yee haw. That would have made Marco and Daisy wonder if he'd lost his marbles and his mind. Cade thought he'd found them. "D'you know?" he said slowly. "I could. In a heartbeat. Why?"
"Because if we can agree terms, Daisy and I would like to buy it. We reckon we're ready now."
Cade looked from Marco's serious face to Daisy's expectant one. He didn't miss the fine tremors that ran through both of them as they waited for his answer.
"I reckon so too. Congratulations, you've got yourself a club. Consider it a wedding present. No arguments. Oh, and a christening one."
Daisy's jaw dropped. "How on earth did you know?' Cade laughed, the first truly spontaneous and genuine laugh for weeks. "The coffee is decaffeinated and has no smell, your boobs are bigger, and you both look like the cats who got the cream. Apart from that the rock on your finger sort of gives the rest away." He crossed the room to shake hands with Marco and give Daisy a hug. "That's brilliant news." He stifled the pang that it could have been him and Anna. It wasn't, so he had to suck it up and get on with it.
"What will you do, Cade?" Anna asked as several hours later he prepared to go home. They had thrashed out an agreement for the handover that satisfied them all. Cade had agreed to demo and tutor occasionally, and they were all happy.
"Cade?" Daisy said again. "You are happy? I mean, if you want we can just carry on like we are. I don't want you to do anything you're not certain about, nor does Marco."
"What? Oh yeah, I'm all good. I've plenty to do in the short term. Sort out the black hole in my room that is laughingly called a cupboard. And then? I'm going to write a book."
PART FIVE
Outcome
Chapter Fifteen
"Tell me again. Stand up straight and drop the book, you don't need it. Look at me, here." He tapped his face. "Right here in the eyes, and tell me, Anna. What do you like?"
&nbs
p; Anna gulped and tried to ignore the spiders that crawled over her skin. She didn't recognize her teasing, play-for-the-audience friend in the dangerous-looking leather-clad Dom in front of her. A Dom who tapped a crop on his thigh whilst he waited for her answer.
She dropped the book on the floor where it landed with a thud. Her heart echoed it. Then she looked away from him and around the once innocent-looking spare bedroom. It had taken on a whole new persona. Gone were the pretty flounces and frilly curtains. The curtains, which were closed, were now a plain deep maroon velvet. The lights were bright, the soft bedtime ambiance replaced with a clinical brightness. Why, she didn't know. She'd be a lot more comfortable with a low light. Or even no light. The elegant four-poster still remained, but it had been moved to the middle of the far wall and gained some shackles. In front of it was a long padded bench, and to one side a table and cupboard with no hint to what was inside.
Athol had warned her that if they went forward it would be no holds barred, pour her heart out, bare her soul stuff, and she was under no illusions that he wouldn't keep his word. Maybe that was why she felt as if she were in a doctor's examination room.
She straightened her body, looked back at him, took a deep breath, and did as he demanded. At least he hadn't insisted she strip or wear something she felt uncomfortable in. Anna ran her hands over her cutoffs to dry her damp palms and retucked her T-shirt into the waistband. It was obvious by the way Athol narrowed his eyes he saw that as the delaying tactic it was.
"My name is Anna McCourt, Sir. I like bondage, Shibari, spankings, and wax play. I like to be blindfolded and reliant. With my Master and in private."
He nodded, and his stern expression softened. For a split second he looked like the Athol she'd known.
"Good girl. See, that wasn't hard, was it?" Athol hugged her. It was a pure comfort, non-sexual hug, and Anna leaned into it and gained strength from it.
"No, Sir."
"There's a good girl. So now, Anna, let’s take those one by one. First of all." His voice, which had softened, took on a note of command once more. "What are your safe words?"
"Oh, er red, yellow, and green, Sir." Anna was puzzled. He knew that, because they'd talked about what different people used often enough when she'd worked in Dommisimma. They'd both agreed those simple and easy to remember colors were preferable. Of course Athol hadn't known her history when they'd first discussed them. Later, even after her drunken confess-fest, she'd been reticent about a lot of things.
It seemed to Anna that Athol in Dom mode had ESP. His eyes narrowed, and he tapped her head.
"Take it out of the mind and form it with your lips, Anna. Yes, you're easy to read, which to me as a Dom is a great help, believe me. However, one of the basic premises is communication, and you know it. Don't think it, say it."
How could she have forgotten? Because I wanted to. I didn't want any responsibilities, and then I could claim none of it was my fault. She blinked. Where had that come from?
Athol tapped his foot. She snapped out of her introspection.
"Oh, sorry, Sir. I had a weird thought, and yes, I'll tell you that as well. I've realized what you mean. So, first, about my safe words. Just because we've talked in the past doesn't mean it's relevant in the here and now?"
"Exactly. Good girl. Now what else?"
That wasn't going to be as easy. Athol put his hand under her chin and tipped her face up. "Answer me, or we stop. I can only help you if you're prepared to help yourself, Anna. This isn't a game." His fingers tightened to just the acceptable side of pain. Anna bit her lip.
"I know it isn't, Sir. I just had the uncomfortable revelation that I'd never wanted to take responsibility for anything I did. Then I wouldn't need to admit that I liked what I, er, we did. Even now," she paused as she tried to formulate her thoughts. "Now I'm turned on by the thought of what I liked with Master Caden." She was amazed how easily the title slipped out. "And how I think I'd feel with anyone else." She didn't expand on the second part of her comment. That was dark and dangerous, and she didn’t feel ready to go there yet.
Athol nodded and let go of her.
"And that we will discuss later." He walked across the room to the cupboard, opened it, and took something out. Anna was in no doubt he'd push and prod her again, but hoped she'd be ready for him. This soul searching wasn't easy. She tried to see what he'd retrieved, but he kept his back to her and the contents of the cupboard hidden. For such a small room, he'd placed things in such a manner that Anna knew unless he wanted her to see she wouldn't.
"Assume the position, love. Next to the bed, facing me."
Anna felt sick. Black spots flashed in front of her eyes, and a pain throbbed in her temple. That was jumping in the deep end with a vengeance. She hated the vulnerability and the panic she felt when she did that. It was something she and Caden had agreed was not for her, and they had contrived their own variation. However, Athol didn't know. How would he? It was so private and personal she'd never spoken about it to anyone else. It was something she blocked from her mind.
Communication, communication. Safe words. Anna opened her mouth to speak, and no words came out. She coughed and tried again.
"Sir, please, that’s yellow." Her voice was scratchy. What if he didn't believe her?
For a long moment he looked at her without blinking. Then he gave a brief nod. "For now. Are these the same?" Athol held out a pair of Velcro cuffs.
Anna let her breath out with a whoosh. She had to trust him. There was no point in continuing otherwise. She knew he'd comeback to her yellow plea at some time, but for now she could carry on.
"No, Sir, they're green."
"Good." He fixed them round her wrists and ran his fingers between the material and her skin. "Not too tight?"
"No, Sir, that's fine."
"Color?"
"Green, Sir. I promise I'll tell you if I'm not happy."
"Sit." He pointed to a low stool. Anna complied; she had no problems with that. "Now tell me why you had to safe word when I asked you to assume the position."
She shook her head. It was stupid. How could she tell him something like that?
"Sub, you tell me, or we stop."
Sub? I'm not his… oh lord, I am at the moment.
"I feel silly. Awkward and ugly." Once she'd said it, her heart felt lighter. She'd never confessed all of how she felt to anyone. Not even Cade. "All my wobbly bits are on show. And don't say I'm dressed. I know that, but it makes no difference." She played back her words in her head. "Sorry, Sir, that wasn't me being a brat. It's me trying to explain my thoughts. If I assume the position like that, I don't know what's happening, or who can see me, and I hate it. How can someone who says he loves me let other people see me like that?" She stood up and walked around the room. She was on a roll now. Her body was on fire, and her scalp tingled. Her hair flew around her face as she swung around and faced Athol. Anna pushed it out of the way. He stood unmoving and impassive, and she itched to slap him, to do anything to get that impersonal look off his face. "How can anyone do that? Let what's between us as a couple be on show? Let other people see how I fall apart and scream as I come? Tell me that, eh?" she shouted, aware she was close to screaming like a banshee and doing serious injury to something or someone. With a calmness she didn't feel, and hindered by the cuffs, Anna poked Athol in the chest. "How on earth can he show me open and bleeding to any old pervert who's watching, eh? Let the world and his wife watch me come? Do those same things to someone else? Touch her and flog her and control her climax. Love? Ha, that's a fucking joke. If he loved me he'd want me all for himself. Why the fuck would he need to get his rocks off scening with someone else? Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't our love enough for him? I loved him, and I only wanted to be with him. Surely he should have felt the same? If he really loved me."
She stopped and began to cry. "He'd only want me. No one else, just me. He'd only want me…"
****
"So now we know."
Anna
lay on the bed with Athol's arms around her and a soft blanket keeping her warm. His voice rumbled into her as her head rested on his chest. It was smooth, nothing like Cade's soft pelt. She sighed. "It seems so, doesn't it? All that from one simple command. I felt threatened. And hell, once I got passed that, oh shit, did I spill the beans. How did you manage it?"
Athol grinned, moved her head to the pillow, and sat up. "Practice. I don't know about you, but I feel like we've climbed Everest. What say you we go all vanilla and go for a meal in the pub by the beach? There's been enough beans spilled for the day. Let's go eat some instead."
She laughed as she reckoned he meant her to. "I want mussels. And steak. And maybe some of their gorgeous gateaux. In lieu of the horse I feel I could eat. God, that was cathartic."
Athol swung his legs off the bed and stood up. "Mussels and steak it shall be. Not to mention the pud. But, Anna, love, you know we can't stop there, don't you? Knowing what's wrong isn't the same as dealing with it. Your demons may be out in the open, but you've not killed ‘em yet. Do you want to?" He held his hand out to help her move.
Anna let herself be pulled to her feet. "I want to go all coy and ask how. But I have to do it head on and hard, don't I?”
"If you want to move on you do."
Master Page 12