by Jayne Hawke
8
The ride back to the motel was painful. I was exhausted, starving, and everything ached where my body was finishing up healing the injuries the coyotes had inflicted. Jake held the steering wheel in a death grip and glared straight ahead through the windscreen, refusing to acknowledge my existence. I squeezed my eyes closed. We couldn’t carry on like that.
“I think it would be best if you moved in with Cole. I’ll be giving up the apartment at the end of the month,” Jake said flatly.
“And when was that arranged?” I snarled.
How could he drop this on me out of the blue? That was as much my home as his, yet he was taking the decision out of my hands. Again.
“A few days ago.”
Curses formed on the tip of my tongue, but I bit them all down trying to find some semblance of calm.
“Why?”
He pulled into the car park for the motel.
“I’ll be spending a lot more time on Fae. It was illogical to put money into rent on an apartment I’ll rarely use.”
He spoke with an eerie distance and coldness to his tone.
“Fine,” I said as I got out of the car.
I needed to eat and get some rest. I wasn’t in the headspace to be able to deal with whatever the hell mood Jake was in that moment. The motel was deathly quiet. A light flickered somewhere behind me, and I paused, listening. If I were in a movie, that would be the moment when a demon or horde of vampires would attack.
Jake walked past me and opened the door to our room. I groaned when I remembered there was only one bed. This entire thing had been ridiculous from start to finish.
I picked up my backpack and sat down in the middle of the bed. Childish? Sure. Did I care? Not even slightly. Jake had chosen to book a room with one bed, so he could sleep in the armchair, or on the floor. I pulled out the packs of jerky and my phone. First I looked for a local pizza place that delivered that late. Once I’d secured a pair of meat feast pizzas with extra meat, I texted Cole.
MERC JOB WENT WITHOUT A HITCH. JAKE KICKING ME OUT OF THE FLAT.
Tossing my phone down onto the bed, I turned on the TV and made my way through the copious amounts of jerky I’d stuffed into my backpack while I waited for the pizza. I felt numb. None of it was sinking in. I needed a shower to wash off the blood, but Jake had already vanished into the bathroom. There was an old horror movie on the TV, and it felt oddly cathartic to watch the people make the classic stupid mistakes. There was something soothing about the familiarity as they split up and each went into the darkness to meet the monster.
I was the monster now. That wasn’t what was eating at me. I’d come to terms with being a garou. It was the pure blood lust that I’d felt when I was taking the coyotes out. That was something else. I lost myself to the horror movie, allowing my subconscious to work through its issues while the monster on screen made its way through the classic group. The blonde girl had just tripped with the monster right behind her when the pizzas arrived.
Jake’s wallet was within reach, so I grabbed that and took out the cash to pay for the pizzas. I was feeling really petty. He’d taken my home from me and treated me like a child. It was the least he deserved.
The pizzas weren’t great. They were soggy and flavourless, but I’d already eaten the first one by the time Jake finally emerged from the bathroom. He looked down at the pizzas and said nothing before he slumped down in the armchair. It was killing me being like this with him, but I refused to go and comfort him. He’d done this.
I left him two slices of the pizza and dropped the box on the table near him before I went into the bathroom to wash the blood off. Maybe the symbolism of it would help settle the unease that had settled between my shoulder blades and wouldn’t let me relax.
9
We’d left the motel room at the crack of dawn. Not a single word was spoken on the drive back to Wolf Ridge. I slept as much as I could on the drive; it made it a little easier. The feeling of wrongness never left. It was as though a chasm had opened up between Jake and me, and there was no way of crossing it. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I pushed that emotion aside. It was inevitable, really. Fae and garou just didn’t get along. I needed to focus on my pack and progress in garou society. I was a guardian. That meant my fellow garou needed me.
Cole was waiting for us outside of the building. He leaned against his car with his familiar scowl and his arms crossed over his broad chest. A warmth spread through me and I realised it was relief at having pack nearby. Cole might have been a broody pain in my ass, but he was all I had. Jake got out of the car and slammed the door before he stalked past Cole and stormed into the building. I rolled my eyes and approached Cole.
“What brings you here?”
He pushed off the car. For a flicker of a second, I thought he was going to hug me. His features softened and his hands began to move towards me. He turned towards the building, and the thought was gone.
“I’m here to help you pack.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“You’re moving in with me,” he said matter-of-factly.
At least he wasn’t smug.
I was exhausted. Sleep had been filled with images of broken bones and pools of blood. Valentin’s face echoed in there somewhere too, haunting me. I didn’t have it in me to argue with him.
“Ok. Come on then.”
He frowned and moved closer to me. Concern radiated off him.
“Did he hurt you?” he growled as we walked into the lobby area.
“No.”
I wanted to follow it up with ‘he’d never hurt me’ but that was a lie.
Everything about Cole hardened, and he formed sharp edges as his jaw tightened.
“You are not going to hurt him,” I said.
He looked down at me with a challenge in his eyes.
“You are my shadow,” Cole ground out.
It was sweet that he was so protective, in a weird way. It was also infuriating. I could look after myself. I didn’t need a guy fighting my battles for me.
“Leave him alone. Just help me find boxes or something,” I said as I bashed the elevator button.
It always took forever when I needed to just be home. The seconds dragged by while I realised that it wasn’t home any more. Jake had stolen that away from me. There were so many memories in that apartment. I remembered the moment we first walked into it. It was barren, a lifeless shell, but it was ours. The happiness had brought a grin to my face that would have rivalled the Cheshire cat’s. Over the coming months, we’d made it a home. Now that was gone.
I lifted my chin and walked into the apartment for the last time. Cole walked close behind me, a wall of strength at my back to help me through the emotions that were clouding my mind.
That apartment had been a joint effort. So many nights had been spent together watching movies on the couch. My baking dreams had been born and shattered; we’d celebrated our first merc jobs together. Our lives had been painted into the place. I gave a small dent on a wall a sad smile. That had come from a night of drunken baking and an Avengers marathon. Jake had stumbled sideways and bashed the wall with the hilt of the knife in his hand. We’d been horrified, but then we laughed until our sides ached. It was ridiculous, but in that moment it was the most hilarious thing to date.
Jake was in his room with the door closed, likely trying to get some sleep. That made life a little easier. I couldn’t face the look on his face as he watched me strip away the memories and touches I’d made on this place.
Cole and I walked into the kitchen, and I found a heap of flat cardboard boxes ready to be assembled. Jake really had been planning this for a little while. The betrayal felt like a dagger twisting in my chest. What else had he hidden from me? How well had I really known my best friend?
“All of the baking stuff is mine. If you could put the boxes together and pack up the baking stuff, that’d be awesome,” I said wearily to Cole.
He gave a small nod and stepped around
me to begin putting the boxes together. I went into my room and tried to efficiently pack up my life. There weren’t many clothes. I could fit them into my backpacks without too much trouble. Somehow that felt worse. It was the things I couldn’t take with me that hurt the most. Like the notch on the countertop where I hadn’t been paying attention and had begun sawing through it when I was supposed to be cutting bread. I’d gotten into the habit of running my thumb over that notch while I thought things through. I couldn’t do that anymore.
It only took an hour to get everything neat and tidy in boxes. Cole ferried them down to his car while I went through the living room making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. A tear pricked my eyes as I looked down at the indents on the couch from years of sitting there next to Jake. We’d sat there, popcorn in hand, when we watched the very first episode of Supernatural. We couldn’t have known how big a role that would have played in our lives afterwards.
The Supernatural box sets were a joint purchase, but I took them. I was going to need a little familiar comfort over the coming days. The kitchen was barren without all of my baking stuff in it. I hadn’t even realised how much I’d accumulated over the years.
Slowly turning a circle, I cast an appraising eye over the cold empty apartment and sighed. If there was ever a symbol for the state of Jake’s and my friendship, that was it. It would be for the best, I told myself. Garou should live with their packs.
10
To Cole’s credit, he was a gentleman about the entire thing. He left my boxes in his car and led me into the house that was now home. His hand almost went to mine as we began to ascend the stairs, but he put it in the pocket of his jeans. The thought was appreciated.
“This is my room.” He gestured to the door nearest him. “You have four options.”
He proceeded to open four doors. I glanced in the rooms, and they all looked similar. Each had a queen-sized bed with large windows and plenty of storage room. After a few minutes, I decided on the one next to his. It had a great view over the forest, and it just felt right. There was something about it, maybe the way the sunlight streamed in, that made it feel homier than the others. I sat down on the bed and found it to be perfect. Now I just needed to make the space mine.
Cole took all of my baking stuff into the kitchen, and I handled my clothes and such. The bathroom was directly opposite my room. Cole had an en-suite, so the large opulent bathroom was all mine. The bathtub was huge, and I looked forward to spending many hours soaking in luxurious bubble baths while hiding from the world. I focused on putting everything away in an organised fashion that I’d never used in the apartment. It gave me something to anchor myself with and push past the emotions that roiled within.
Once the bed was made with my favourite silvery-blue bedding (Cole had to loan me a fitted sheet as mine were all for a smaller bed), I was ready to go and claim my corner of the kitchen. The house felt different as I walked through it and really breathed it in. Cole’s scent touched everything, but there was a clean freshness there, too. He hadn’t let anything fall into disarray, which would have been so easy to do in his position.
The boxes were piled up on the kitchen table waiting for me. I walked around them and began looking through the cupboards to see what space was available to me. Cole was out in the yard shadow boxing. There was an intensity to his gaze as he kicked and spun around invisible enemies. I watched the way his powerful muscles bunched and flexed as he did so. The dragon seemed to come to life with his movements, stretching and biting out at the unseen enemies as Cole threw a punch. He looked towards me, and I looked away feeling like a complete dork.
To no one’s surprise, the kitchen was pristine and everything clearly had a place. The cupboards were stocked with herbs, spices, expensive coffee, and lots of expensive foods that I wouldn’t have looked at twice. I didn’t touch any of it; as much as I enjoyed pushing Cole, I was exhausted and didn’t want to get into a stupid fight.
A section of the kitchen had been cleared just for me and my baking. I set my stand mixer up on a section of counter that looked out over the yard. The bowls and trays went in the cupboard beneath, my utensils and icing equipment each had a drawer of their own. It was far more space than I’d had in the apartment, and the familiar urge to bake began to form. I’d missed relaxing and just baking more than I’d realised.
My eyes were beginning to close, and I leaned on the counter. A nap was clearly called for.
“Rosalyn,” a familiar voice said gently.
I frowned and suddenly snapped awake when I realised I wasn’t in my own bed. Cole stood near the foot of the bed with his lips pursed and a weary expression painted onto his face.
“Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”
I rubbed my eyes and groaned. It all came back to me.
“I’ll come down and set the table,” I said as I rolled off the bed with the grace of a drunken mule.
I followed Cole down into the kitchen, which was filled with the rich aromas of beautifully cooked duck with cracked black pepper and garlic. My mouth watered. Cole looked entirely comfortable in front of the oven as he pulled out some freshly made spring rolls and the divine-looking duck breasts. I rushed around the kitchen looking for the cutlery, glasses, and a water pitcher. Cole had set everything out on the table when I returned with the iced water.
It was a small feast. Everything looked as though it was made from scratch; there were small imperfections that you didn’t see in store bought foods.
“Help yourself,” Cole said, gesturing to the food before me.
I wanted everything, but I also didn’t want to be rude. I watched as Cole elegantly placed two spring rolls on his plate next to the duck breast, followed by the fried rice. I tried to mimic his controlled easy grace, but I was ravenous, and it smelled so damn good. It tasted even better when I bit into the duck. The flavours assaulted my tongue in the best possible way, leaving me needing more.
Cole watched me with a small smirk on his face as I tried to restrain myself and show some semblance of manners.
“It’s nice to see someone enjoying my cooking.”
I took a sip of water and pushed the empty plate away a little. I was completely stuffed.
“Thank you. That was amazing.”
He shrugged.
“Just a normal meal.”
Maybe Jake being a dick wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
11
I settled into the new place and routine quicker than I’d expected. The pack bond helped a lot. I found that I was much calmer and more focused when Cole was around. He was even beginning to show signs of a smile. I might have imagined that part, though. We sparred in the morning. Afternoons were devoted to work. In my case, that meant trawling the merc boards for jobs. Cole was usually wrapped up in tedious-looking paperwork or growly conversations. Then the evenings were a mix of running, in both our human and wolf forms, and relaxing in a comfortable silence.
It had been nearly a week, and I’d barely thought of Jake. As much as the routine was doing me some good, I still needed something more. I hadn’t had a job all week, and it was making me antsy.
“Why don’t you bake?” Cole said without looking up from his laptop.
I’d thought about it. The kitchen still felt strange, like I was a temporary guest.
Cole sighed and raised his eyes to mine.
“Rosalyn, for the love of all that’s wolf, go and bake,” he said with deep exasperation.
I chewed on my bottom lip. I hadn’t taken anything over to my dad in a while. The thought of baking did take some of the edge off.
Standing, I went into the kitchen and made a list of everything I needed to get. Cole didn’t have any flour - what type of kitchen didn’t have basic flour? A quick look through the cupboards showed me that I needed to get everything. I added some less commonly used items to my list so I’d have them in at a later date. Vanilla essence and other flavourings weren’t something I used every time, but they were great to keep
on hand.
“You can make me some peanut butter cookies,” Cole said with a smirk from the doorway.
His hands were tucked in the pockets of his jeans, and he looked relaxed. The sensation of that washed over me, and I watched as his smirk became a small genuine smile. His eyes softened and took on a more delicate green tone. I looked away before I made an idiot of myself and double-checked my list.
“I’m heading into town to get everything I need,” I said.
He stepped aside to give me room to walk past him. I felt the warmth of him and caught his familiar scent as I passed him. As much as I hated Jake for the way he went about everything, this felt so incredibly right.
I’d just pulled into the car park of my preferred grocery store when my phone starting buzzing. A quick glance at my phone showed Amy was ringing. I hadn’t seen her in what felt like an age. She’d been busy with some things her goddess had her doing. I parked in the closest space and rang her back.
“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.
We’d texted a few times, and she knew all about my new living arrangements. I quietly hoped she wasn’t going to make me do the small talk thing before we got to the real conversation.
“I’m not sure. Are you in Wolf Ridge?”
“Yea, why?”
“I’ll see you in five.”
With that, she hung up. I looked down at my phone feeling lost and confused. Her tone didn’t sound too worried or scared. It didn’t seem like Amy to rush over somewhere because she had some gossip to share, either. I rubbed my temples before I got out of my old Mustang and leaned against the door. She was a witch; there was a pretty good chance she was using some form of tracking spell to bring her right to me.