“You think I’m that reason?” Maya looked down at her tattoo-covered arms. They didn’t actually say super responsible adult lady.
Carla sighed. “Compared to some of the skanks that Javi has been getting with since his divorce, you are like Princess Kate.” Maya knew that Carla didn’t mean to hit on something that she felt icky about, but it didn’t change the fact that she’d reminded her that Maya hadn’t been Javi’s first choice, or his second choice. She’d happened back into his life because she’d taken a job bartending and he’d randomly shown up one night. “I shouldn’t have said that. You don’t like thinking about Javi with other girls.”
Alana looked exasperated with her little sister. “What she’s trying to say is that we think someone down-to-Earth and smart is good for Javi. Karrie was—and is—kind of a dipshit. From what Cole told me, you and my brother had a real friendship. He was too stupid to see how cool you were. Are.
“My brother isn’t as one-dimensional as my father wants him to be, never has been. Our father is a dinosaur. Until recently, he thought I would quit working as soon as I found a husband. He placed all of his hopes for the future of our family business on Javi for a long time.” Alana sighed and looked to Carla, as if she was unsure about whether or not to continue. Maya wanted to hear it all. The more insight she had in to why Javi had married Karrie when his feelings weren’t all there, the better. Carla nodded. “We’re working on our father. Until recently, we thought Javi was going to turn out just like him. God knows, they’re both stubborn.”
“Probably not as stubborn as me.” Maya and Javi had butted heads early and often. It was probably part of what made the chemistry between them so tangible.
“That’s good. Karrie wasn’t stubborn at all. She never stood up to our brother.” Carla spoke carefully now, like she didn’t want to spook Maya.
“Karrie wasn’t the right girl for Javi. I think we all saw that, but we didn’t say anything. We would have if we had known about you,” Alana said.
“But you don’t even know me.” They didn’t know her and their bald acceptance of her as Javi’s girlfriend gave her pause. How were they supposed to know that she was good for their brother? They’d walked in on them whiling away the day in bed.
Carla said, “But even the other night at the club, when Javi looked at you—when he yelled at me before he followed you—it was different. I think when Karrie left him, he felt hopeless. And he really committed to messing up once he saw how pissed our parents were about the divorce.”
“After he broke Cole’s face for starting to date me,” Alana said, “he started to get some of himself back. He apologized and started coming back to work again. But he was sad. Something’s changed in the past few weeks.”
Carla came up to Maya and laid a hand on her shoulder. Maya would definitely have to get used to how touchy the Hernandez family was. If she stuck around. If Javi wanted her around. “After seeing him with you here—he never brings girls here—we think the something that’s changed is you. You make him happy.”
Maya felt tears spring up. She wasn’t used to people wanting to be friends with her, especially rich girls. She usually kept them away pretty effectively with some sneers and scowls. “You guys need to chill out. For serious. I don’t even know how long I’m staying in Miami.”
Javi picked that moment to come out of the bedroom. She heard the door snick open mid-way through her last statement. She looked over her shoulder and he was carrying her shoes. He had to have heard what she said, but his face was impassive. “Ready to go?”
* * * *
Javi’s gut burned with something he couldn’t name. He couldn’t make Maya stick around. He was angry with himself for thinking that he could do it by fucking her so good that she couldn’t walk away. That was stupid, and juvenile.
And she’d probably had countless lovers since school. She was gorgeous and free and she had a kind of sensuality that people responded to. It was almost part of what made her an artist. She was art. Obviously, he wasn’t the only one who wanted to look at her.
He wasn’t the only one who wanted to touch her. He wasn’t saving her from being alone by wanting to be with her. Standing there, holding her shoes, he suddenly felt like a loser. Here he was, planning for a future with her, claiming her in front of his family, and she didn’t want him the same way she wanted him.
Fuck if he was going to be played for a fool by another woman.
Yet, the look on her face when she turned to him was something like hope dying. He knew that he looked cold. She pursed her lips and walked over to him, touched his stomach when she took her sandals from him.
He didn’t look at her as he said, “You’re coming with, right?” He could feel her disappointment, and he had to get away from it.
“Um, as long as it’s okay with your sisters?”
He looked at her then. Her mouth was in a tight line. Her back was straight and her chin up. He liked it better when her spine went slack and she opened to him. He needed that.
“I want you with me.” Their gazes touched, and for a few beats, his sisters were wise enough to stay silent.
“I want to be with you.” She looked over her shoulder. “We’re going to take my car. You should take Javi’s.”
Carla pumped her fist. “Javi never lets me drive his car. We’re going to have to figure out how to keep you around for that.”
Alana found his keys in the basket first though. “Not so fast grasshopper. I’m driving to the restaurant. I want to see how fast I can make his baby drive.” Javi looked pained as they walked out the door.
“I didn’t mean it.”
Javi didn’t intend for his words to come out harshly, but they did. “Didn’t mean what?”
“I just—this is so new that I don’t want your sisters to get their hopes up.” She touched his arm to steady herself while she slipped her shoes on. He wanted that to mean that she felt like he steadies her. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m an obligation or something your family expects.”
Seeing her so vulnerable and nervous about them made something in his chest clench. She still didn’t trust him. More than her body, he wanted her to trust him. He’d never thought he’d want to be with someone in a forever kind of way again, and he realized that he wanted that with her. At first, he’d only wanted her forgiveness. Now, he needed her love.
He turned her around. “When are you going to forgive me?”
“I do forgive you for marrying Karrie instead of me. But, while you were cleaning up.” She combed her fingers through her always-perfect hair, as though she just remembered that it might be mussed up from them having sex. “They talked about how you were fucking everyone after your divorce, and I realized that you weren’t going to come find me.”
Before he’d married Karrie—when she told him about her feelings for him—she’d told him to come find her if things didn’t work out. Until that moment, he’d pushed that out of his mind. He hadn’t wanted an easy way out of his marriage, so he’d convinced himself that her words were empty.
“I didn’t think you meant it.” Maya had too much pride to be anyone’s sloppy seconds.
“Of course I meant it, Javi.”
“It wouldn’t have been right. I didn’t want you to feel like second-place. You’re nobody’s second choice.”
“I offered that up to you, but only because it was you. And now I find out that I’m not your choice at all. You’d rather have any other girl in Miami—any other girl in the world—just not me.”
He pulled her close, her side to his. “I wasn’t worth your time after the divorce. I wasn’t worth anyone’s time.” He nosed the hair at the nape of her neck, in his favorite spot above her pulse, where he could smell himself on her skin, smell the two of them together. “Give me the chance to prove I’m worth your time now. I won’t let you down.”
“Okay.” Her voice was a ragged whisper, but he heard her. He heard that he only h
ad one chance to make her believe that she was his first choice. His only choice because he didn’t want anyone else anymore.
He still wasn’t worth it, but he’d try to be for her.
Chapter 13
Felix held her arm when she walked up the pavers that lead to the Hernandez’s front door. It looked huge and imposing in twilight. Everyone who had anything to do with Miami high society was going to be there. She’d known that, but it hadn’t sunk in until their car had approached a valet line that reached to the end of the block.
This is what real money looked like. And she was here because Javi wanted her here. As his girlfriend. She was shaking inside and maybe on the outside at the thought of meeting his parents. She was absolutely certain that she wouldn’t hold up to their scrutiny.
They stopped halfway up the walkway to the door because there was actually someone checking invitations at the front door. For the fiftieth time since they’d left Felix’s place, she checked her bag for the invitation that Alana had overnighted to her.
Maya Pascual plus one guest. Javi’s sister had added a personal note saying, Please come. I need to produce you at the party so that Cole will pay up.
Maya had been so horrified when Javi had asked her to come that he’d told her to bring her brother. Like he somehow sensed that she wasn’t sure enough of their relationship to come on her own. She needed support.
She’d spent hours picking out a dress. She’d blown her whole budget on a black cocktail dress that had a little bit of sparkle. Black probably wasn’t the color to wear for an engagement party, but she felt powerful in a neutral. And white would have been even more gauche.
If anything, black would allow her to fade into the background. Her brother, on the other hand, wore a bright pink sports jacket, a printed shirt with palm trees and flamingos, and white pants. She could fade into the background, and he would shine.
“Thanks for dressing out loud tonight. Everyone will be so busy talking about your outfit that they won’t notice that the family scion’s girlfriend is from the ‘hood.”
“Bitch, please. I am not dressing like this for you. And no one is going to notice that we’re from the barrio because we are not in the ‘hood anymore. Both of us are out. For real. Permanently.”
“When did you start believing that? That you wouldn’t wake up one morning in Mami’s apartment, bracing for the yelling?”
Felix kissed the side of her head, where he wouldn’t smudge her carefully applied make-up. “When I got far away? I don’t know. Maybe one morning walking on the beach after a night out? But the farther I am from New York, the less I feel like our father could come crawling out of the walls.”
“It’s a lot easier now that Mami is gone. I hate to say it, but now that she isn’t around, that she can’t bring him back into our lives or pull us into her drama, I feel safer.” A ghost of the claw in her gut that used to visit her when her father came around hit her.
There was only one couple in line ahead of them. She still felt nauseous, but noticed that the woman was also wearing black. At the very least, she wasn’t the only one trying to make that mistake.
“We shouldn’t be thinking about that tonight.” Felix straightened his lapels. “We should be thinking about how you’re going to wow homeboy’s parents. I’m like your hype man for that, aren’t I?”
“Pretty much. Although, I’m pretty sure that we blew that with the dress.”
Felix took her wrap and handed it to a coat check—this place had a coat check at a party—and looked down the deep V-neck of her dress.
“You didn’t specify that you didn’t want to give his dad a boner. And you can’t help looking like you do. Both of us were destined to cause boners everywhere we went.”
She laughed so loud that several people looked at them. She smiled and pulled Felix towards the back of the house, where the din of the party was. Maybe no one would notice that her brother was a completely inappropriate human if they were someplace noisier.
“We can’t talk about boners here, Felix.”
“Christ, I have to talk to Cubans, and I can’t discuss boners? This party is already lame.” He grabbed a pieced of bacon-wrapped shrimp from a bow-tied waiter and ate it in one bite. “Mine’s better. They use the cheap seafood guy.”
“You also can’t trash talk Cubans.”
“You are no fun.”
It didn’t miss her that they would normally be working a party like this. She wouldn’t be as nervous if she was. Sure, that wouldn’t be the ideal way to meet her boyfriend’s parents, but she wouldn’t have had to worry about what she was wearing. She wouldn’t feel like she was on display. But, right now, being invisible probably wouldn’t be so bad.
“Come on, I want to try the rest of the food and find it lacking.”
“Alright. Let’s go.” She led him through the house, hoping to find Javi there. And maybe some alcohol. She wasn’t going to drink too much because she didn’t want her tongue to run away with her tonight.
On the way, she noticed that the house was impressive, but lived in. It totally wasn’t her taste, but they did have some interesting art on the walls. A few pieces she recognized from her required art history electives. So, they definitely had some serious money. The walls weren’t going to let her forget it.
She also needed to see Javi; she knew that her anxiety wouldn’t give up its hold on her until she saw him and knew for sure that he wanted her there. She held Felix’s hand so tight that he would start complaining soon. He couldn’t protect her from any of the bad things she was sure would happen, but holding on to him was the only thing keeping her from running out the front door.
They made it out to the backyard. It was huge, much bigger than one would think from seeing the front of the house. There was a pool in the middle, lit from the inside, with a waterfall over a mosaic. A high, white stucco wall surrounded the spacious lawn, which was getting more and more packed.
Dainty lights hanging from inconspicuous temporary features gave the whole setting a fairy tale-like quality. Felix let out a low whistle when he’d looked around. “Look, they have a permanent outdoor bar. You need a drink.” He went to leave her standing near the back entrance of the house, but she held him tighter. “Okay, so I’m your security blanket. That’s fine, but blankie needs a drinkie.”
“Don’t have too many drinkies and blow someone in the bushes.”
“I haven’t blown anyone in a hedge in years. I do that inside now.”
She looked around to make sure that no one had noticed them talking about public blowies. Everyone seemed to be absorbed in their own conversations, though she noticed a few guys checking for Felix. Sort of like always. Wherever Felix went, men—and a few dense women—salivated. “Just don’t blow anyone here, okay?”
Felix winked. “Bae’s out of the zip code, which means I can do whatever I want.”
They made it through the clusters of guests and Felix grabbed them both a mojito. Sure enough, there was a permanent bar built in the yard. Not even attached to a patio. Anyone who had that was probably a decent person. Knowing that Javi’s parents obviously knew how to throw a party made her feel marginally better about meeting them.
She slurped down her drink, which was thankfully generous with the rum, and searched for Javi. She spotted him standing next to Carla and the nondescript-looking white dude from the other night—the fiancé—next to the pool. The harsh light threw his profile into relief, and he looked so starkly handsome that her breath caught.
She was so into him. If she had never met him before tonight, she would be struck dumb by him. He was wearing white pants; her fingers itched to touch what would undoubtedly be fine linen and a dark jacket over a white button-down. She looked down at her flashy cocktail dress and felt like she’d overdone it.
And then he smiled at something his sister said. She imagined she could hear him laughing and her nervousness eased.
“Do you want to mee
t him?”
“I didn’t think you hauled me to rich people central so that I wouldn’t meet him. I can try more of the competition’s food later.”
* * * *
As soon as Javi saw her, he stopped listening to whatever his sister had to say. She’d probably punch him on the arm, but he couldn’t hear anything but the blood rushing from his head to his cock because of Maya in that dress.
He should have told her that, after the debacle of Carla’s engagement party, Alana and Cole had decided they wanted something more low key. Because she wouldn’t have been out of place on a red carpet. He could scarcely believe that she was here for him, so dazzling that he couldn’t think of why he hadn’t thought she could hang in his world.
The iridescent sparkle of her dress highlighted every gorgeous curve on her body. As she made her way towards him, clinging to a guy who had to be her brother, he noticed several guys, and a few girls, doing double takes. It made him want to growl and snap like a caged dog—or grab a microphone and announce that she belonged to him.
He couldn’t help the goofy grin he was sure he had on his face, and he didn’t even look away when Carla pinched him in the side. “She is like bananas hot, Javi. Like, I know you’ve been with half a swimsuit issue of models, but she is totally hotter.”
“I know.”
Carla continued, more for her fiancé Geoff’s benefit than his own. “And I love her. Alana loves her. Mommy is going to love her once she gets over the tattoos.” She jabbed Javi in the side again. “Don’t muck it up with Daddy. You make sure he loves her, too.”
Javi’s good mood faltered at that. When he’d told his father he was bringing someone to the engagement party, someone he was serious about, he’d gotten a stern look. His dad had gone so far as to ask for her name and basic information so he could run a background check. Javi had flat-out refused, but he wouldn’t put it past his old man to ask Maya to her face.
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