by Joz Maxel
I use both hands to wipe my tear-stained cheeks. " How did you get a picture of Rourke?"
His eyes connect with mine and I see the anguish he's living with. "Crash."
"Crash," I repeat with malice. I hate that fucking name. He doesn't belong on this earth.
"Does Rourke know what happened?"
"Corey had a talk with him a few years ago."
He nods his head. "And he still wanted to meet me?"
"Corey picked up the pieces of what you left me with. From day one, he never wanted to replace you in Rourke's eyes, but he's the only father he's known. There's no doubt in my mind he loves Corey to no end, but when you showed up, he felt a pull to you. Christ, he's you at sixteen. You can't fault him for wanting to know what you're like."
"Thank you for that, both of you."
"Dane, I want to explain something to you." I lean on the table with my arms stretched out in front of me. "I was committed to a life with you and our son. I know you weren't in your right mind that night, but that doesn't excuse all the scars and pain you've caused me. Corey put me back together. Corey gave me strength when I didn't have any. Corey helped raise Rourke with the love a father would, all while telling Rourke about you. So, when Corey gets protective and overreacts, he has every right to. We, all of us, want Rourke to be happy, and if having you in our lives again does that for him, then I, we, will make this work."
Dane covers his face with his hands for a private moment, then places his hands over mine. I flip my hands over to take his hands in mine and give them a little squeeze. "The only way I could have a life with Corey was to forgive you, so I'm telling you, I forgive you."
Dane turns his head away from me, but not before I see a few tears falling. He wipes the right side of his face with the sleeve of his T-shirt, and when he turns back to face me, he lets go of my right hand to wipe his eyes.
"I don't deserve it, but thank you." He tilts his head up to gain his composure, then looks back at me. "So, Rourke's gay?" He laughs without a hint of humour.
I tip my head to the side. "After all this, you have a problem with that?"
"Nova, I don't have a problem with him being gay. I would have told him that, but I didn't get the chance."
I look down at my hands, now resting in my lap. "Corey's trying, he really is. Just give him some time."
"All I have now is time."
The vibration of my cell phone startles me. I dig it out of my pocket and see it's Jen texting.
Is he single? Does he like me? He has a sweet ass! I would love to grab it while he's fucking me up against the wall.
I burst out laughing and shake my head. "I think Jen likes you."
"Yeah?"
"You should ask her out." I put the cell back in my pocket and take a sip of my tea.
"It's been awhile since I've been on a date."
"Fresh start and whatnot, right? You might even enjoy it."
He smiles. "Yeah, maybe."
Corey
After a busy day, all I want to do is cuddle up to the soft curves of my wife, drink some beers and relax. So, when I walk through the front door and hear lots of voices in the kitchen, I get suspicious. Lola comes around the corner to greet me, holding onto some cards in a fan fashion.
"Hi, Daddy."
"There's my warrior princess. Where's my hug?"
She walks over to me and puts her hands up for me to pick her up. I snuggle into her neck to give her kisses, making her giggle. "Daddy, I need five bucks."
"For what?"
"I'm losing my shirt to Dane, so I need five bucks to ante up."
What the fuck?
"Excuse me?" I put her down and stare at her, unblinking. "Dane's here?"
Her eyes grow wide as she strains her neck to look up at me. "Ah, no?" She then gives me a big smile before she runs into the kitchen. I follow her and see Dane sitting at the table with Rourke and Leni, teaching them how to play poker.
"What are you doing?" I look at Dane. "You're teaching my kids poker?"
"It's fun, Dad. Wanna join in?" Leni asks, while struggling to keep her cards fanned out in her hands.
"Where's my wife?"
Coming up from behind me, she's holding three frozen pizzas. "I'm here. How was your day, babe?" She tilts her head up to give me a kiss. I bend to give her a quick kiss and smack her ass as she walks away.
"Busy. Nova, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"No." She looks at me as a smile parts her lips. "Girls, go put the cards back downstairs, please. The men and I need to have a talk."
Leni looks at Nova, then to me, and rolls her eyes. "Come on, Lola, the adults have to talk." She starts to clean up the cards, while Lola holds the box open for her. Once the cards are gathered and put in the box, the girls are gone.
Nova meets my stare, still smiling. "Beer, honey?"
I sit at the table, our eyes still connected. "Sure."
Opening the fridge, she grabs my beer, but before closing the door, she asks, "Dane, do you want another one?"
"Sure. Thanks, Nova."She grabs another beer and puts them in front of Dane and I. She grabs her own beer and sits at the table with the rest of us. After taking a pull, she sets it on the table and looks at Rourke, then Dane, and settles in on me again.
"Honey, Dane came to see me last night at work."
"Really?" I turn my attention to Dane, who's already looking at me while taking a drink of his beer.
"Yes, and we talked."
"Did you?" I turn my focus back to Nova. She has to notice how fucking unimpressed I am.
"I forgave him, Corey, and I think you should too. I've made my peace with it to have my life with you. Rourke and Dane want to know one another, so you need to be on the same page as us and stop being...well, you." Her look is sincere. I know she means well, but I feel like I walked into an ambush, and I don't fucking like it.
I stare at the bottle in front of me, peeling the label off and remaining quiet. I could be "me" and walk out of this whole ridiculous setup, punch a few holes in the wall on my way up the stairs. Or I could just shut up and let things happen. I nod my head, then take a long pull from my beer.
"Great! Pizza will be ready in a bit." Nova finishes her beer and gets up to grab the plates.
Dane starts to ask Rourke about school, so I excuse myself from the table and make my way over to Nova, who's busy getting stuff ready for the table. Before she has a chance to move, I cage her against the counter, my arms resting on either side of her. Her eyebrows raise in wait for my next move. I lean in close, my lips grazing her ear so she doesn't miss how much trouble she's in.
"I know you mean well, wife, but I'm gonna spank your ass red tonight for this." I lick the outer part of her ear and she shivers. "I'll give you what you want, but you will owe me big." I turn my head more into her neck and nibble on the soft skin of the curve where her neck and shoulder come together. Her shaky intake of a breath is all the confirmation I need to know she gets me.
She turns her head slightly toward me and responds with, "Looking forward to it."
I pull away far enough so I can look into her eyes and smile. "Game on." I place a tender kiss on her lips and push myself away from the counter.
After we have dinner and a few drinks later, I actually begin to relax and enjoy the evening. Once the girls are in bed, Dane, Nova and I share our stories growing up with Rourke, laughing and living in the moment.
Dane
It's been six weeks since we finally put our past behind us and started living in the now. I can tell Corey is still a little unsure of things, but he's giving it an honest try, and I can't ask for more than that. Rourke and I have been hanging out quite a bit, getting to know each other, which brings me to my plans for today. Last night, over the phone, he told me he has a PD day, and because Corey is fully booked and Nova has to work a double shift, he's taking care of Lola when she's done with preschool.
Finding the front door unlocked, I walk in to find Lola sitting on the c
ouch, watching TV and eating a sandwich.
"Hey there, ninja girl. What you watchin'?" I lean both hands on the back of the couch and take in what she's so engrossed in.
Without turning around, she says, "It's Monster High, so quiet, please."
I look down at her. "And the horse you rode in on."
She waits a few seconds until a commercial comes on, then tilts her head up toward me. "I didn't ride a horse. Rour picked me up."
I shake my head and laugh. "I see." I turn around to see Rourke walking into the living room.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Well, I took the afternoon off to hang with you guys. Did you know there's an indoor skate park not far from here?"
"Yeah."
"So let's hit it. You got a few hours until Maybelene's home, right?"
"Yeah, but I told you I'm hanging with Lo today. I promised her ice cream." He looks over my shoulder to Lola. "If she finishes her lunch." She raises her plate over her head to show she has a few bites left. Apparently, conversation while watching television is a no go.
"So bring her. We can show her a thing or two."
He looks at me and sighs. "I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea."
At his hesitation, Lola turns around on the couch and rests on her knees, crossing her arms over her chest. "I think it's a good idea."
I raise my arm and point to Lola. "See! She thinks it's a good idea. This place has pads and helmets to rent—"
"She has her own,"
"I have my own,"
they say in unison. I love it when a plan comes together with little effort.
I clap my hands and rub them together. "All right, little lady, finish your lunch, then go get your stuff." Turning back to Rourke, he has a bothered look on his face. "If this goes bad, I'll take the heat from your mom."
"Fine, I'll go grab our stuff." As he walks away, he instructs, "Make sure she eats everything on her plate."
I look down at Lola and give her a wink. She gives me a toothy grin as she has the last bite of her sandwich.
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had this idea. The place is packed with pimple-faced preteens trying to impress the teenage girls too engrossed in their phones to notice. I look around to see in the very far corner, maybe three men, surveying the scene who look to be closer to my age.
Turning to Lola, who is adorned with a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, and a smile, I ask , "Okay, kid, you ready to show me what you got?"
"Yeah!" She raises her hands in the air. She looks to Rourke, who's not sharing in her enthusiasm. "Come on, Rour, it'll be fun!"
"Mom is gonna kill me for this." He runs his hands through his hair, exasperated.
I chuckle, turning my head to look at Rourke. "Lighten up. What's the worst that can happen?"
No sooner do I get the words out, I take in Rourke's growing look of fear. I follow his stare to see Lola is already three quarters of the way up the other side of the half pipe, her arms stretched out to her sides for balance, leaving the faint sounds of her uncontrolled giggling following her.
"Oh my God, Lola, hold on!" Rourke is grabbing at his hair, getting ready to run down the ramp to grab her. Without switching the direction of her body, she doesn't quite make it to the top, but starts to descend back into the mouth of the ramp. Her momentum only takes her a quarter of the way up the side that she started on, and when she turns her head to smile at us, she loses her footing and falls, skyrocketing her board right past us to land a few feet away. Both Rourke and I drop our boards and run down the ramp toward her as she lays there, face up, and not moving. By the time we get to her, a small crowd is forming around us to see if she's okay.
"Holy fuck, do I touch her? Do I move her?" Rourke is starting to panic, running his hands through his hair, when Lola opens her eyes and grins. He looks at her, confused. "Lo?"
"That was awesome!" She looks at me and giggles.
"Lola, are you hurt anywhere?" I brush her hair out of her eyes and she shakes her head giving us the thumbs-up. The small crowd breathes a collective sigh of relief and starts clapping. Rourke, too freaked out to process what just happened, helps her up and makes sure she can stand on her own.
"I wanna do that again!" she proclaims as she brushes the dirt off her bum.
"Fuck no! You scared me half to death, Lola!" Rourke grabs the top of her arms, kneeling down to her level. "Are you sure you're not hurt?"
She wraps her arms around his neck, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "I'm not hurt, I promise."
He lifts her up in his arms and kisses her cheek. "Don't ever do that again!"
Sheepishly looking down, she nods her head. "Okay."
"Hey." I rub her back while she's still in the vice grip of her brother. "How about I buy you some ice cream."
She jumps out of Rourke's arms and starts to walk off the ramp. "See?" I clap him on his shoulder. "She's fine. You worried for nothing."
"If Mom finds out, you realize we're both dead." Rourke warns me as we follow Lola to the concession.
"Who's gonna tell her?"
Rourke points over to Lola, who's reliving the entire experience to a complete stranger, who in turn is mesmerized by her exaggerated animation. I turn to Rourke, shaking my head. "We're fucked." Rourke nods his head in agreement.
Corey
"Open it, Rour, I picked them out myself!" Lola is standing in front of her brother, trying to keep from ripping the present open for him.
"Lola, sit down. I can't see him open it. Mom, tell her to sit down so I can see too!" Leni starts to pull on Lo's arm to get her to move away, but Lo stands her ground even more.
"Come on, Lo, you can help me." Rourke moves the present to the side so she can climb on his lap.
Rourke turned seventeen today. He didn't want the big party his mother wanted to give him, just family, and unfortunately, that includes Dane. With all the time they've been spending together, it's getting more and more difficult to find my time with Rourke.
"Do you like them?" Leni asks as he holds the pair of Harley Davidson winged skull gloves the girls bought as a combined gift.
"I love them. Thanks, girls. I'll always wear them." He tickles Lo and gives her a kiss on the cheek. He places her on the floor and pulls Leni up to stand to give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug.
"Okay, girls, you gave him your present. Go upstairs and get ready for bed. Your mom and I will be up shortly to tuck you in." The girls give Dane a high-five on their way up the stairs.
"Dane, you wanna give Rourke your present next?" Nova tucks herself into my side, curling her legs underneath and holding her herbal tea close to her body.
"Are you sure? Corey over there looks like he's ready to bust." Rourke turns to me and smirks.
Since Rourke was nine, he's been wanting to join us on our annual ride to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. Nova has flat out denied his request to be "one of the guys," but with him wanting to travel the world after he graduates and turning eighteen while he would be God knows where, I made it hard for Nova to say no. Randall and I planned out a week-long ride, doing whatever the fuck we want whenever we want, all while making our way to Sturgis. As his present, I'm giving him a map with the route highlighted.
I kiss Nova on her head before I tell Dane, "Nah, man, you go ahead. I can wait."
"Okay." He stands up and rubs his hands together before reaching into his back pocket, then displays a key on his palm. He moves to stand in front of Rourke with his hand out. "There's nothing I can say to make up for all the years I lost being in your life, but I'm humbled to be given the chance to now. I put a lot of hard work into it, but everything worthwhile in life doesn't come easy."
Rourke looks at us, then at Dane, his smile growing by the second. "What is this?"
"It's sitting in the driveway." He looks at Nova and I with a smile that rivals Rourke's.
He grabs the key from Dane and runs to the front window to see a refurbished black and chrome Sucker Punch Sally sit
ting in our driveway. Rourke puts his hands in the air and turns to face us. "Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my God, Dane, this is unreal!"
I get up to see what's in the driveway, Dane following close behind. I look over my shoulder to see Nova's quizzical stare. "You're gonna wanna look at this."
Nova puts her tea on the coffee table and hesitantly walks over to the window. "Oh God. Dane, you didn't." She puts one hand to her throat and the other on her hip. "You bought that?"
"Yeah, I got it in an estate sale just south of here. With all the hours I've been putting in with Ace, he let me use the garage after hours, fixing it up and making it shine." He turns to Rourke in anticipation. "You like it?"
"I love it!" He turns to Nova. "I can keep it, right?"
I put my hands in my pocket and lean against the window frame. "Where did you get the money for the bike, Dane?"
He looks at me, exasperated. "I just told you, Corey. And some people owed me—"
I cut him off. "And there it is."
Dane switches his focus to Nova. "For the work I did on their vehicles off the clock. I was talking to a customer about vintage bikes, and he told me about the estate sale. I checked it out, the price was right, so I bought it."
"I can keep it, right?" Rourke is slowly inching his way to the front door, beaming.
With his focus still strong on Nova, Dane continues to plead his case. "I missed so much already. I just wanted something he could have for as long as he wants. He's already riding, and he's fucking good. Let him have it, Nova." The look he gives my wife is the same one he would give her when we were kids to win her over.
Nova looks to me for guidance. I shrug my shoulders, rubbing my hand over my lips. She looks to Rourke and softens at the excitement she sees in her son's eyes. "Fine."
Rourke starts jumping up and down, slapping Dane on his shoulders. "Dane, let's go take it for a ride!" He grabs his jacket hanging on the coat rack and he's out the door. Dane gives us each an apologetic, yet amused look, and is not far behind Rourke.