by Adele Huxley
One pushed Spencer away and fell to his knees, immediately checking her vital signs and taking over the CPR. I rocked back onto my feet, trembling with fear and adrenaline.
“What did she take?” the woman EMT asked me.
I shook my head, still looking at Morgan’s lifeless body. “I have no idea.”
The EMT looked to everyone standing around watching the scene unfold. “Does anyone here know what she took? We aren’t police. You aren’t going to get in trouble but you might just save this girl’s life.”
Kayla mumbled next to me. “Ketamine.”
“Did you say Ketamine?”
Kayla nodded and the two EMTs shared a look. “Another one,” the guy said as he worked on Morgan’s body. “Do you know how much?” he asked Kayla.
“No, but not much, I don’t think. She’s always so...responsible,” she said numbly.
“Yeah, okay. Clear some space.”
I stepped back as they got to work. A pair of strong arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me tight. I breathed in Rick’s cologne, for once finding comfort. “She’ll be okay, don’t worry.” He sounded so sure.
“She’s in V-fib,” the male EMT muttered as he was doing chest compressions.
“Alright, I’ve got the AED,” the other replied. Before she prepared the defibrillator, she took a pair of scissors and cut away Morgan’s white sweatshirt, slicing through the messages and drawings she’d collected throughout the night. She looked so tiny there on the floor. I watched in numb silence as they attached the pads to her skin, making sure everyone was standing back before administering the shock. Her body twitched slightly before they checked her vitals once more.
The guy looked up and nodded curtly. “It’s faint, but it’s there.”
Without a word, they moved her onto the stretcher. Tears silently rolled down my face as they hoisted her up. The crowd parted. Without ceremony, they were quickly swallowed up and gone, Spencer on their tail. I spun around and buried my face in Rick’s chest, my sobs now uncontrollable. Had I just watched one of my friends die right in front of me? Had she already been dead as I was trying to save her? They said she had a pulse, but was she going to make it?
I faintly heard my name but the sound was muffled by Rick’s arms.
“Liz! Where are you? Liz!”
I turned to see Bryan pushing people out of his way, shouting for me. He looked to me and then immediately over my shoulder to Rick, who tightened his grip around me.
My laziness had won out for another night. I couldn’t stand the idea of trying to make small talk with the guys at the bar, so I chilled on the sofa filling my empty belly with cold beer. The scanner was on, the policemen and dispatchers making idle chitchat with long gaps between. Even the pops and cracks of the communications were comforting enough. Apparently, the sounds had eventually lulled me to sleep for a little bit. When I woke, I had no idea what time it was. The living room was nearly dark, the only light coming from the overhead fluorescent light in the kitchen. It was that weird time of the winter where it could easily be 6 a.m. or 6 p.m.
I was getting better at handling alcohol while on my pain medication but still tried to take it easy, especially when I had to work the next day. I could tell Walt was worried about me but he wasn’t the type of guy to stick his nose in. I didn’t want to worry him further by showing up to every shift hungover or worse yet, still drunk.
Sitting up, I flexed my knee and rolled my ankle a couple times. Not only had I recently developed quite a drinking habit, I’d also slacked off on my physical therapy. Even in my darkest of days after the accident, I’d clung to my PT as a way to keep control over the future. Although it scared me how quickly my muscles and joints had deteriorated with lack of use, it wasn’t enough to break through the fog of...what? Depression? Ambivalence? What the hell emotion could I even label myself with at this point?
Once I was sure I could put some weight on my stiff leg, I awkwardly pushed myself to standing in search of something that resembled food. As I poked around the cupboards and settled on eating dry cereal straight from the box, Margie’s voice came through the scanner.
“Patrol? Patrol, are you there, copy?” she asked, followed by a crackle. A few moments passed as I crunched on my cereal. A voice I recognized from the scanner spoke up. Dylan.
“We’re here. What’s going on Margie, over?”
“We’re getting a bunch of calls coming in, sounds like at least one E-23. I’ve dispatched EMS but thought you might want to check it out.” They didn’t use the codes too much anymore, so this exception piqued my interest.
I turned up the volume. At least something interesting was happening in town other than small kitchen fires, lost dogs, and people sliding off icy roads. Human nature, the voyeuristic and morbid thing it is, held me rapt.
“Alright, can I get a location on that, over?”
“Twenty-nine Mountain Lane, property owner...hold on, over.” The radio clicked off for a moment. As I shamelessly munched on the cereal, I noticed it was a little past midnight.
“Repeat, incident is twenty-nine Mountain Lane, property owner Jack Richards, over.” The dry food stuck in my throat, choking me a little.
There was a bit of a pause. I’m assuming Dylan had the same reaction I had, one of dread. “Copy, we’ll head up there right now, out.”
The box of cereal fell from my hands and scattered all over the floor as I realized what I’d just heard. Richards. Liz’s house.
“Seems to be a big one up there, guys. Let me know if you need backup. Over and out.”
I stood frozen to the spot. Should I go? Should I stay and listen to the scanner? The sinking feeling in my gut told me something had happened to Liz. How could I live with myself if I just stood around and let it happen?
“What the hell is an E-23?” I screamed at the scanner. “Shit!” I flew over to the door and pulled on my boots, grabbing my keys from the small table. After several attempts to turn over the old engine, I finally got her going. Even then, she moved like cold molasses. It’d take me over ten minutes to get up to the house but at least the roads were clear of snow. As I sped down the road, rolling through the stop sign at the corner, I briefly wondered why I always found myself running after her. Especially after she’d made it clear she couldn’t give a shit about me, I thought.
“Whatever, I need to make sure she’s okay,” I said to the empty road. “She has to be okay.”
My journey up that hill felt like one of the longest of my life. The cars spilled out along the main road, nearly blocking the drive. I threw my truck into an empty spot in a neighboring house and started hiking up the steep drive. I’d managed to beat the police but an ambulance was already pulled up to the door, red lights flashing in the dark night.
Small packs of people filtered down from the house. Some looked distraught, others pissed that the party was ending early. I reached the foot of the stairs just as the EMTs were bringing down a loaded stretcher. My heart jumped into my throat as I saw a delicate hand fall from the side of the bed. Liz...I didn’t move. I waited for them to pull her down past me, fully intending on jumping into the ambulance with her.
My breath caught, my heart stopped...I had to see her face but a voice broke through my anguish. “Morgan. Oh Jesus, please.” Although I didn’t recognize him at first in my shock, I soon realized it was Spencer. With dark hair hanging over his glasses, he scrambled after the EMTs crying out Morgan’s name. They passed with the stretcher. With the oxygen mask, it was difficult to see her face, but on closer inspection, there was no way I would’ve confused her with Liz. Her long hair was twisted into a braid, her face smaller than Liz’s, more child-like. She was such a sweet girl...
I met Spencer’s eyes and there was no recognition there, simply panic. I’ve never felt such relief and guilt at the same time. As I stood in shock, I remembered she must still be inside.
“Liz,” I whispered. I pushed past a couple of girls standing on the stairs as th
e ambulance doors slammed shut. “Liz!” My hip and knee screamed in protest as I took the stairs two at a time. I pushed through the crowded door, searching for a familiar face, even Noah’s. I needed to see her, to make sure she was safe. The sickening feeling in my gut hadn’t been alleviated at all.
“Liz!” I yelled again, my eyes frantically jumping from person to person until I saw her...in his arms. Our eyes met and my heart sank. In a matter of seconds, I went from fearing for her life to wishing I hadn’t come at all. I’m sure my face said it all by the way she reacted. Pushing away from Rick, his smug face hovering just above hers, she walked towards me swiftly on wobbly legs.
“What are you doing here?” I couldn’t read her. She seemed a little glad to see me but at the same time exasperated, fresh tears still staining her cheeks.
I took her hand, squeezing it slightly. “I was afraid something happened—”
“What the hell is he doing in my house?” Noah yelled. He looked at Rick for backup, obviously not man enough to fight his own battles. I almost said something along those lines, but refocused on Liz.
“Are you okay? You haven’t taken anything?”
“I tried to save her, I really did.” Seeing the hurt there, I forgot everything and everybody. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. Her body melted against mine, like she’d been holding a breath for too long. It was the briefest of moments but it was a sweet relief to feel her against me. It ended as quickly as it’d begun. She instantly stiffened when Rick shouted.
“Get your fucking hands off her,” he said as he closed the distance between us. Noah was bolstered by Rick’s advancement and suddenly, I had two of my least favorite people in my face, aggressively staring me down. Liz stepped back, bumping into Rick’s chest. He put a protective hand on her shoulder.
“No, he needs to get the fuck out of my house,” Noah repeated.
“Don’t you have more important things to be wailing about?” I snapped. “From right where I’m standing, I see about three illegal substances and the cops are coming. You sure all these people are drinking age, too?”
Liz’s eyebrows shot up as Rick and Noah shared a concerned look. “The police are coming?” When I nodded, she looked over her shoulder. “He’s right. You two need to get this shit cleaned up.”
“I’ll clean his shit up,” Noah fronted. I’m not sure where it came from, but I laughed in his face. He looked comical with his broken nose and bruised face, threatening me while standing behind his personal bodyguard.
With all his bluster, he stopped the moment Rick put his hand up. Rick pushed him away, squinted at me and then down to Liz, not seeming to want to leave her behind. “Just go, I’ll deal with him,” she snapped.
She’ll deal with me? I thought. Real nice. “Yeah, I’ll just go,” I said quietly with a shake of my head. I’d have to be an idiot to not see Liz was back together with Rick, whatever that relationship could be called. As he continued to protest, I turned and walked back out the door. I was half way down the stairs when I heard Liz call my name.
“Wait,” she said, putting a hand on my arm. Her eyes were bloodshot and even with the fresh air, I could smell the vodka on her like an open bottle. “How do you know when I’m at the mountain? How did you know about Morgan? Are you spying on me or something?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said stepping out of her reach. I didn’t know how to explain myself without sounding like an absolute psycho. I held her gaze, wanting to say everything all at once, to take this moment when she wasn’t outright rejecting me to explain my whole life’s story to her, but I couldn’t. Not after seeing her in his arms, not after seeing Morgan. It felt...insignificant.
“It matters to me,” she snapped. “I might’ve just watched one of my roommates die right in front of me, so I’d like to—”
I climbed a couple of stairs so we were eye level, gripping the railing more to control my anger than my balance. “I’m not fucking spying on you, Liz. I heard the call come over the police scanner.” As if on command, the sounds of police sirens grew closer. “Unlike you, I can’t just pick and choose when someone matters to me. I was afraid something might’ve happened to you,” I said, heat rising up my neck to my cheeks. Her mouth fell open and I resisted the memory of how her lips felt against my own. “I’m sorry for giving a shit, but now that I see you’re well taken care of, I’ll leave you alone...Beth.”
I was surprised by my own anger but not as much as she was. What did she expect? As much as I cared for her, as much as I worried about her well-being, even I had a breaking point. Her mouth worked as if trying to find the right words.
“Lizzie, do you know where Steve went? I can’t find—oh,” Kayla said from above. She was obviously freaking out but took the time to glare at me. Good to see her disdain hadn’t diminished over the weeks.
“You better get back,” I said as I turned and headed back down to my truck. “Those drugs won’t clean up themselves.”
As I drove back to the house, passing two squad cars on the way, it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. She made her choice, leaving me without one. If she wanted to be with that asshole, it was completely up to her. At least now I could focus on my own life again, finally accepting she was moving on with hers willingly.
____________
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in weeks. Not quite Liz-in-my-arms good, but better than hungover and hating myself. I’d gotten my first alcohol-free sleep in a long time and felt fully rested. As I waited for the coffee to brew, I stood at the window and saw a fresh snow had fallen at some point during the night. Only an inch or two covered my truck, but it was enough to invoke a rare flutter of excitement.
“Could be a good powder day?” I said to myself. Walt wasn’t expecting me in the shop until later that afternoon. I could grab a quick breakfast and hit the slopes. I tried to ignore how busy it was going to be on a Saturday and embrace the enthusiasm I’d rarely felt since my accident. I genuinely wanted to go skiing.
As I poured myself a cup of coffee and stared at my gear, I remembered that Dave in the pro shop had told me he’d set aside a new pair of K2s he wanted me to test. I smiled at the memory. Dave was one of the few people I’d encountered who still saw me as a professional skier, beyond the hype, beyond the drama. He and I connected because of a love of the sport, not because of some fame obsession.
I made my mind up. I was going to go skiing.
____________
I stared down at the jet black skis in wonder. They were amazing. Gorgeous. Easily the most expensive skis I’d had on my feet in forever. Even in the two years I’d been away from the sport, the technology had grown in leaps and bounds. The material was light and amazingly flexible, which would make it easier for me to coast through deep powder. With these, I didn’t have to stick to the groomed trails if I didn’t want to.
“Steep and deep,” Dave had said with a wicked grin. Maybe not quite yet, but I do like the way these look on my boots.
I adjusted my helmet and gloves and was just about to push off to the lifts when a familiar voice spoke behind me.
“Aren’t those fancy?”
I looked over my shoulder to see Kayla standing on the deck, between me and the entrance to the pro shop. She had a puffy white jacket on, the fake fur of the hood ruffling in the wind behind her. With one eyebrow raised, she looked me up and down.
“Apparently you still have enough in the bank to splurge on the latest gear, huh? I know Walt doesn’t have anything like that in his cluttered old shop.”
I squinted at her, trying to figure out what it was she wanted. She’d never willingly spoken to me and even then, was never pleasant. When I thought on it, she wasn’t exactly being pleasant now. “A friend hooked me up,” I said flatly.
“Oh, how nice for you,” she replied with equal emotion. We regarded each other in silence for a few moments.
“Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?” I finally sai
d shattering the silence.
“Yeah. Stay the hell away from Liz.”
“Done,” came my quick reply. She seemed surprised, like she’d been gearing up for a fight that wasn’t going to happen. Like a dog with a bone, she just couldn’t seem to let it go.
“I mean it,” she said with her hands on her hips.
“So do I.”
“You aren’t good for her.” She really wanted to instigate something, didn’t she? I did my best to not rise to the bait.
“Whatever you say.” I watched a muscle in her jaw twitch. This girl was used to getting exactly what she wanted. Why was she picking a fight with me even when I flat-out agreed with her?
“I don’t appreciate the way you screwed with her head. She’s been through a lot, you know. She’s only just now starting to act like herself again.” She pulled her hair out of the hood and flicked it down her shoulder. “I’m just trying to protect her.”
I couldn’t help the laugh that came from my throat. With everything I knew about Kayla, her money, her business, her flagrant disregard for Liz’s safety, it was almost impossible for me not to laugh. Unfortunately, it was just the thing Kayla had been angling for.
“You think that’s funny?” she said with a waggle of the head.
“Yeah, actually I do. I know what she’s been through, too. And I know what Steve,” I said with insincerity, “is and was, regardless of what his current driver’s license says.” I shouldn’t have fallen for the obvious trap but I couldn’t help it. The way she and Noah and that asshole walked around like they were above it all, like life had no chance of biting them in the ass.
She stepped forward, any playfulness gone from her eyes. For the first time, I saw what Liz had always hinted at. Kayla wasn’t just a woman who was used to getting what she wanted. She was the kind of woman who made sure she got what she wanted, at any cost. I thanked my stars she wasn’t the size of Rick or I would’ve already been cold in the ground.