by Adele Huxley
“Don’t forget who you’re dealing with here, son. Yell and shout all you want, but know I’m here because I want to be here. You put my business in jeopardy by cutting my drugs, then you have the balls to start stomping your feet about respect?” I reeled at that information. Noah was the one responsible for Morgan’s death? I looked to Kayla expecting to see equal shock, but found nothing. I’m always the last to know.
Noah started backpedaling, trying to save face and his own skin. “Well, no, not exactly—”
Seeing this dynamic unfold between them was yet another surprise. Rick dismissed him by turning back to face me. I’d been so floored, I hadn’t had the good sense to get away when I had the chance. He dove for my mouth again, icy fingers gripping my jaw with painful force.
I placed my hand on his chest and leaned back, panting. “Whoa there, killer.” I forced myself to smile. “Don’t want to jump the gun.”
“That starting gun was fired a long time ago,” he growled. “I’m ready to run the race.” He pushed back against me and seemed unamused when I resisted yet again.
“It’s just so cold out here.”
Rick’s expression clouded. “You’re absolutely right.” He grabbed my hand. Without a glance to Noah or Kayla, he essentially dragged me through the house and down to my bedroom. Finding the door locked, he nodded to it. “I assume you have the key?”
With a hard swallow, I nodded, fishing it from my pocket. It wasn’t my birthday but at this point, what did it matter? He always got what he wanted. What difference would a week make? I couldn’t settle the nerves bubbling in my stomach. My fingers trembled as I tried to put the key in the lock, finally getting it on the third try.
As the door clicked shut behind us, I wanted to scream out. My voice echoed through my head instead. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen! Not like this, please. Not with him. But my mind and body seemed to be two different things. As I mentally protested, my body was guided to the bed. He found the remote to the fire and switched it on, probably thinking he’d reached the pinnacle of romance.
An odd thought popped into my head, something which simultaneously brought me peace and sadness. Mom, if you’re up there and watching over me, please look away. I’ll be alright. Wait until it’s done, because after...well, I’ll need you then, for sure.
The argument had done nothing to diminish Rick’s appetite. He ripped at my sweatshirt, pulling it over my head without any care. It snagged my ponytail, pulling it half out, leaving my hair dangling to the side. Luckily, I was wearing a tank top beneath and wasn’t left complete exposed. He pawed at my breasts, squeezing them roughly as he licked and sucked at my neck. Pushing me back until my legs hit the bed, he was like an animal in heat.
He took a moment to remove his own clothes, stepping out of his dark jeans and shirt to reveal a pair of tight black briefs. He stood back, almost as if he wanted me to look him over, presenting my prize. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen him naked. Even in the flickering light of the fire, I could see the hardness pressed against his pelvis by the taut material of his underwear. A big part of my apprehension came from his size. Unsurprisingly, he seemed to get off on my obvious nerves.
“Don’t worry,” he said as he approached again. He traced a line down the center of my lips, to my cleavage, finally hooking in the waistband of my jeans. “I’ll be gentle...at first.”
As he unzipped my jeans, my eyes squeezed shut. It might’ve felt like I’d gone too far to stop, but I knew I couldn’t let it continue. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I had to find some way of taking over this situation.
I stepped into him, my fingers digging into the flesh of his tight ass. My mouth connected with his, tongue swirling around and pulling the breath from him. I took a sharp nip at his lower lip, causing him to pull back in surprise. “I promise, I’ll be gentle too,” I said huskily.
I fell to my knees and tugged his underwear down. His thick cock sprung free. “Mmm, fuck yeah,” he said through gritted teeth as my hands wrapped around it. He grabbed a clump of my hair and tried to ram it down my throat.
I looked up and shook my head. “Slow, right baby?” His only response was a narrowing of the eyes. Despite his obvious lust, he let me take control.
As my tongue enveloped his shaft, my mind went elsewhere. I thought about what I’d do once I was free from his control, what I’d do to turn around my education and get back on a good path. A part of me paid attention to his physical responses, enough that I could keep his arousal rising and rising, but not enough to really be present.
At one point, I made the mistake of opening my eyes. The flickering light from the fire instantly reminded me of the night I’d spent with Bryan. An intense wave of emotions bombarded me, twisting in my throat. Rick mistook the noise as me gagging on his cock, something he apparently took pleasure in. He groaned and rocked his hips forward as he suddenly unloaded on my tongue.
“Nngh, fuck baby,” he hissed. I played the part, looking up with his dick still in my mouth, trying so hard not to gag or swallow. He caressed the line of my jaw with a smile as I squeezed him from base to tip. With a smile, I rocked back onto my feet and quickly stepped into the bathroom, spitting everything out under the running tap. I washed my mouth out for good measure. By the time I’d returned to the bedroom, Rick had made himself comfortable on the bed.
“How was that?” I tried to say seductively.
“A good appetizer.” I hated the way his dark eyes glittered in the firelight. With the rest of his features, he almost looked possessed or evil. I quickly returned to his side, choosing to settle beside him than look at him.
“So a good warm up to next week, then?” I curled in against his chest as he pulled the sheet over our bodies.
“Next week, huh? What if I’m ready now?” He flexed his cock, making the sheet bounce with the movement. Ugh, I’d hoped I’d done enough, I thought. The passion was gone from his voice, though, so I thought I had some hope.
I tilted my chin and kissed him on the cheek. “It’s what I want for my birthday.” If the tactic worked on Bryan, maybe it’d work on him. He looked down at me out of the corner of his eye, almost suspiciously. Rick was warm, a little drunk, maybe a little high, and had just gotten off. Whatever suspicions he might’ve had, were quickly ignored.
“I can even tie a little bow around it, if you want,” he said with a chuckle.
“Sounds perfect.” Maybe I can strangle you with it, I thought as I settled against his chest.
We never did end up returning to the party. I’d fallen asleep long after Rick had, laying awake in bed listening to his soft snore. I must’ve dozed at some point, but at the first hint of daylight, I was awake and out of bed. I stepped lightly around the room, getting dressed as quickly as I could without disturbing him.
I was proud I’d managed to wiggle free again, but I’d come dangerously close to that edge. I felt filthy, tainted. I thought about showering but didn’t want to tempt fate by getting naked in a bathroom without a lock. Instead, I craved the purity of the mountains, of the snow. Stuffing my bag with a couple extra layers and an energy bar, I grabbed the Jeep keys from the hook and headed out.
The minute I stepped outside, I knew I was overdressed. It was easily the warmest day since I’d arrived in Colorado. With a touch of disappointment, I saw snow melting everywhere. Water dripped from icicles, trickled down the driveway in tiny, flat rivers. It was close to the middle of February and Tellure Hollow was gripped in a warming trend. I hopped in the Jeep and crossed my fingers that colder temps were holding out on the top of the mountain.
Handing Emily her coffee in exchange for my gear, I stepped off the deck and took a deep breath. I won’t be first up there, but it’s early enough it won’t matter, I thought as I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail. Securing my helmet under my arm, zipping my jacket, I gathered my skis and poles and made my way to the gondola. I’d accepted that I’d never be comfortable walking in those damned ski boots, bu
t at least I’d managed to develop some semblance of a saunter. For weeks, I’d compiled footage for Kayla with a camera I’d attached to my helmet.
“Morning,” I nodded to the liftie as he took my stuff. I stepped into the empty gondola and took a seat. Just as the doors were beginning to close, the car rocked violently as a blur of a person jumped inside. I blinked several times to make sure I was seeing the right face.
“Please don’t freak,” Bryan begged.
I groaned, my shoulders slumping in frustration. “Seriously? How many different ways can I tell you I don’t want to see you anymore? Did you take a hit to the head during that wreck?” I wanted to take it back. I was mad at him, sure, but I didn’t want to hurt him. Before I had a chance to open my mouth and apologize, he sat down on the bench opposite me.
“I did, actually, but my helmet took the brunt of the impact. Mostly messed up my hip, knee, and shoulder.” Strangely enough, he didn’t seem to be too upset by my comment, but I still felt like a real shit.
“It’s way too early for this. I’ve had a pretty terrible week and I just wanted to take a couple runs before—”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to with me,” he said quickly. He sat forward, his expensive looking skis haphazardly thrown on the floor between us. His expression was pleading, insistent, honest. “I’m worried about you.”
“I told you, you don’t have to be.” I crossed my arms and looked out the window, watching the lodge grow smaller with each passing vertical foot. “I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
“Listen. You’re sweet and I appreciate you doing what you did, but if there’s anything I can’t tolerate, it’s lying. It’s as simple as that. Once you lose that trust...” I’d tried yelling at him. I’d tried ignoring him. Maybe if I spoke to him calmly and without passion, he’d finally get the hint.
He leaned back and crossed his legs, his hands outstretched with palms facing up. “Ask me anything. I’m an open book.”
“Ha! A little late for that now,” I scoffed. Still, I looked at him sideways. We were going to be stuck on this damn gondola for another ten minutes. I might as well learn what I could before I skied off.
“I’m serious,” his hazel eyes glimmered in the morning light. It was difficult to witness how much this had affected him, but I refused to take the blame for it. He’d done this all to himself.
“Why? Why did you lie?” I spat at him. It was really the only question I’d wanted answered from the beginning.
He looked at me, his expression twisting. It was as if he’d simultaneously been expecting and dreading the one question I threw in his face. “Because I didn’t know what the truth was.”
“What kind of shit is that?” I laughed. “You seriously expect me to believe that?”
“No, I don’t.” His abruptness caught me off guard. I was so desperately angry and hurt, but his honesty broke through it all. “I don’t expect you to believe anything I say, really, but I hope you’ll at least listen.” He sighed and looked out the window. I could see how much weight he’d actually lost, his face thin under the shaggy stubble. “When I came here, I didn’t know who I was anymore. Fuck, I still don’t. I went from having anything I wanted to suddenly not being able to care for myself. You don’t know what it’s like—”
“You can spare me the poor-rich-kid speech,” I snapped. “I really don’t need to hear about how tough your life has been—”
“You aren’t the only one who has been hurt, you know,” came his quick retort. “You don’t hold exclusive rights to a pained life.” I could tell he’d been holding that jab for a long time.
“That’s low,” I managed, tears stinging my eyes.
“It’s the truth. I’m not here to give you some sob story about my upbringing or what happened to me. I just want you to know it was never my intent to lie. I’ve been so twisted up for years, I didn’t even know what the truth was. My career is dead, my dad is dead...” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and twisted his fingers together. “How could I explain to you who and what I am when I don’t even know myself? I feel like I’ve been living a life I was never meant to, like a ghost moving through some alternate universe.”
The tall wall of anger I’d spent the last six weeks building chipped away just a little. Whether he knew it or not, that was exactly how I’d been feeling since my mother died. I’d never voiced it to anyone, but there was a part of me that always felt like there was another Liz out there, carrying on like nothing bad had ever happened. My life was this odd split, another dimension, perhaps hell...I don’t know. I bit my lip and looked away as he peered up through his eyebrows. He destroyed my resolve with only a few words and a smile, but I couldn’t let him in. I was in enough trouble without inviting more into my life.
“There isn’t anything you can say that will change what’s happened. I bared myself to you, in more ways than one,” I replied. The malice in my voice was cutting. Even though I knew he was taking the brunt of a lot of anger he didn’t deserve, my emotions were out of check. Morgan dying, almost sleeping with Rick the night before, now having to confront all this...I had a breaking point. “I showed you more than I’ve ever showed anyone—”
“And I you,” he interrupted calmly.
“Too little, too late.”
“I tried to tell you everything. I didn’t know it at the time, maybe a part of my brain thought it was a good idea, but I think that’s why I took you out to the cabin in the first place. I just...” his voice cracked with emotion. Bryan cleared his throat and continued, shaking his head. “I wasn’t brave enough to open up then. I wasn’t brave like you.”
I scoffed. My initial reaction to everything was always disdain and doubt, but his words felt honest. Don’t let him in, Liz. Not again...
The gondola rattled across a support beam and I glanced over my shoulder. The end of the line loomed above us, the track disappearing into a dark, open structure. I adjusted my helmet again, flicking the camera on. Kayla could just delete the extra footage. I wanted to grab my stuff and get on the slopes before he had a chance to react. It’d been a long time since he’d seen me on the mountain. Hopefully, I’d catch him off guard and with his injuries, I could out-pace and break away. A few more minutes in close quarters with him, and I’d crack for sure.
I softened my voice a touch, the irritation still obvious. “I know why you said those things to Rick, and I don’t blame you. I probably overreacted a bit...” I could give him that much, even though it took a lot of willpower to put forth that apology. His posture relaxed a bit. “I’m sorry. I can’t get past it. I can’t let you back into my life. If even a fraction of what I read was true...”
The gondola began to level out and I got to my feet, facing the door so I could run out as quickly as possible. “Liz, please. I’m sorry. I haven’t told you everything, if you could just—”
I looked at him, his eyes filling with sadness. “I listened. I still don’t care.” The doors slid open and I stepped out, not even waiting for the liftie to hand me my skis. I pulled them quickly from the basket and walked to the central point at the top of the mountain. By the time Bryan had caught up, I was stepping into my bindings and pushing away.
“Liz, wait!”
I glanced back and saw him scrambling into his skis. He won’t follow me down a diamond run, I thought. I was in the open and completely visible, several trails dropping off to the right like exits on a highway. He could easily catch up unless I made my decision now. While I usually liked to warm up on beginner trails, given the circumstances, I thought I’d push myself to get away.
With a quick step to the right, I flung myself down the first drop on a diamond run called the Elk Horn. A memory popped to the surface of the first time Kayla had brought me to the top, the way I’d screamed when I’d first witnessed someone heading down the mountain with a little speed. Only a few short months later, I’d conquered that fear, and then some.
The snow was u
sually hard and unforgiving on this side of the mountain, but that morning, it was quite variable. Without the break of the trees, the headwall quickly turned to rock in the relentless winds but it was now coupled with warm weather. I dodged around and through patches of grabby snow and sheets of ice. While nothing compared to the skis Bryan was using, mine were well-equipped to hold a controlling edge. I quickly descended through the initial drop, took a wide turn and looked back up the hill. Bryan stood at the top, watching me, obviously debating whether or not to follow. As if to answer his question, I pressed forward, tucking into a tight ball to put even more distance between us. Don’t bother, you can’t catch me, I wanted my gesture to say. If only he’d been able to read my body language.
After another few sharp turns I glanced back again, this time seeing his dark figure racing towards me. He looked unsteady, his injured leg obviously weaker than his other. His turns were awkward, almost uncontrolled. Bryan flung his arms out like a beginner fighting for balance, but he attacked the hill with the aggression of an expert. He’s going too fast. He hit a patch of ice, the loud scratch of the skis tearing through the silence. I skated to a stop on the edge of the trail. If I kept going and he hurt himself, I’d feel so responsible. When I stopped, he slowed his descent noticeably, which was quite a relief.
As he drew closer, I saw he was actually smiling. “You’ve gotten so good,” he said with a pant. He skated to a stop with a grimace, the world around us almost deafeningly silent. “I can’t believe the difference.”
“Please, don’t try to keep up. You know you can’t. I don’t say that to hurt you, Bryan,” I pleaded with him, hoping he didn’t take it the wrong way, but he did. The smile disappeared from his face and I felt like I’d just slapped him. It was so frustrating! As much as I tried not to let him get to me, he did, even with the quick downturn of his mouth. “Ugh,” I groaned, flapping my arms. “I don’t care. Do whatever you want. You apparently will anyway.”