Sonnet, Biddy and Seafire were to be shampooed all over, but Noel told their owners that they were all well qualified to do it themselves, as were Marion and Poppy to wash their horses’ socks. It was Nicholas, Jonathan and Penelope who seemed to need help: none of them had my idea how to wash at all. Henry was going round showing how to scrape off fly eggs with a blunt knife or razor blade and the major was giving Joy, whom he had caught using the body brush in the wrong hand, a grooming lesson. When the ponies were ready, the lines mucked out and the watering and feeding done, everyone, except the Greens, hurried down to the barn with their tack. Margaret and Poppy were improvising a tack room on the straw bales so that the Greens could keep an eye on the ponies as they polished, and Donald and Martin were tidying up the haystack, reorganising the bales under their tarpaulin and sweeping the loose hay out of sight. They had already squared up the muck heap and arranged the buckets and mucking out tools in elegant and symmetrical rows.
“There,” said Donald, when the haystack was finished, “If that doesn’t satisfy these military types it’s just too bad.”
And Margaret observed, “If we don’t get some good marks for all this hard work we jolly well ought.”
“It isn’t fair really,” said Martin, “that we should have to do it all on the day of the inspection, the others ought to help.”
“You Mintons don’t like work,” Donald told him.
And Poppy said, “No more do I. I’d rather sit and see someone else do it any day.”
“We Mintons nothing,” objected Martin indignantly, “I’ve worked jolly hard this morning. I’ve mucked out miles of lines and I’ve swept until I’ve got a blister—look.”
“Mind you don’t die of it,” said Margaret.
“I can’t see it,” said Donald, inspecting Martin’s hand.
“There, you fathead, as large as life and it hurts, I can tell you.”
“Oh, get on with you,” said Donald, “it’s practically invisible. We need David’s microscope to see that.”
Henry and Noel were both late for lunch because they had told the major that if they were going to be inspected they had to have baths, and directly the washing and grooming was done they had taken the Land Rover and driven down to Folly Court. They hurried into the barn looking very clean and immaculate in their best riding clothes. Christopher gave a wolf whistle and the other members, who were feeling lively despite the approaching inspection, all clapped and cheered.
“I must say you both look an entirely different colour,” remarked Major Holbrooke.
“Now, Uncle George, we shall take a very dim view of any facetious remarks from you,” said Henry. “We go green with envy every time we think of you lolling in your pine-scented bath or reclining on your interior sprung mattress.”
“Yes, it’s very rash to taunt us,” agreed Noel, “the worm will turn. Not that I mind my camp bed, it’s terribly comfortable, but I’m like Merry, I don’t care for washing in cold water.”
“Where is Merry?” asked Henry.
“Gone home for lunch and a change of clothing,” answered the major in dissatisfied accents. “Miss Sinclair, didn’t you want to make an announcement?”
“Oh, yes, so I did. How clever of you to remember, major. Shall I make it now or wait a little, I wonder? I don’t want to disturb Noel and Henry.”
“Now,” said the major, banging the table for silence.
Miss Sinclair’s announcement that the tents had been much tidier and that a number of people had earned tens, was greeted with roars of applause and the major’s announcement that coats and ties would be worn for the inspection as well as crash caps, pony club badges and gloves was received with cries of “We’ll be boiled,” and “I’ve lost mine” and “What happens if you haven’t got any gloves?”
“I haven’t got any,” said Gay. “Oh, yes, I have, but they’re winter ones.”
“Winter gloves and a coat,” said Jean. “Honestly, Gay, you’re going to be cooked.”
“I’ve got two pairs, so I’ll lend anyone…”
“Oh, me, please, Susan me,” interrupted Nicholas in beseeching tones.
“One of mine’s got a huge hole in it,” Penelope told them.
As the members rushed off to their tents, still shrieking excitedly, the major explained his plan of action to Henry and Noel.
“They’ll ride out from the horse lines in activity ride pairs,” he told them, “and line up in the big manège where we have the activity ride practice. You’ll organise that, Henry. Line them up tidily and dismount them, they stand beside their ponies with the irons run up and the reins taken over the ponies’ heads. I shall walk round with the inspecting party and Merry will act as aide-decamp and write down the marks. I’ve already told her that. You two will keep your rides reasonably quiet and stand them at attention when the inspecting party draws near. They are coming at three, so the inspection should be over by four at the latest; we’ll give them an early tea and afterwards they can take some C and B tests and I’ll take anyone who hasn’t passed D. We may as well make the most of having three visiting commissioners here at once.
“Tests,” said Noel. “Oh, dear, there will be alarm and despondency.”
“Nonsense,” said the major firmly. “You’re not to encourage this silliness, Noel. We had quite enough of it with you, weeks of fuss beforehand and then you’d pass perfectly easily. You’d better make a list of people who ought to have passed tests, Henry. Noel will find excuses for all of them. Susan and Christopher are the only two in my ride with B ribbons up so you can put all the rest of the ride down for a start.”
“O.K.,” said Henry producing a note-book. “I think David Minton is B standard too.”
As Noel had forecast at the first mention of tests panic spread throughout the camp.
“Tests on top of an inspection, it’s too much of a good thing,” grumbled Donald. “We haven’t revised. I refuse.”
“You go and refuse to my esteemed uncle and see what you get,” Henry told him, “I’ll lend you Horsemanship for the Pony Club and you can revise now and at tea.”
“How nice for me,” answered Donald. “Well, I shall fail and if your esteemed uncle swears and curses that’s just too bad.”
“‘They are not long, the weeping and the laughter’,” quoted Henry. “David, you’re to take B. Martin and Nicholas C.”
“But Henry, you can’t do this to me,” protested Nicholas, “I’m only a new member, a poor defenceless new member. I haven’t even taken D yet and I don’t know any points of the horse.”
“Too frightful for you,” said Henry unsympathetically. “But the District Commissioner is in one of his hard-hearted moods and somebody’s got to be sacrificed. Jonathan and Guy, you’re D’s.”
“Oh, it isn’t fair,” wailed Martin, “Why should I take C when Guy doesn’t have to, he’s a year older than me.”
“Complaining will do no good,” said Henry firmly. “I’ll produce Horsemanship and Christopher and James shall instruct you.”
“O.K.,” said Christopher.
And James said, “What, me instruct?”
“Well, you’ve passed C.”
“Oh, James, quickly,” begged Nicholas, “tell me some points of the horse.”
Henry walked across to the girls’ tents and shouted for Noel.
“I’m trying to observe the conventions,” he explained when Noel appeared. “Would you be so kind as to put your head into tent Number Three and inquire if they are in a fit state to receive a male visitor?”
When Noel yelled, “Are you respectable?” and “’Ware Henry” into the tent, there were shrieks of horror, cries of “No, don’t you dare come in.” “Go away,” and Henry suggested that Noel tried tent Two. Tent Two were dressed but Margaret and Lynne were replaiting their hair and Gay was trying out Susan’s lipstick, so they were overcome by giggles when Henry appeared. The news that Gay was to take B test and Lynne C soon sobered them. Gay protested that she was only thi
rteen and three quarters and people didn’t usually take it until they were fourteen. And Lynne wailed that you had to know all about shoeing and she didn’t know a thing.
Judith, Carola, Poppy and Marion were all fully dressed and they welcomed Henry with social smiles which quickly faded when they heard that they all had to take B except Carola, who had already failed C once and was to take it again.
Henry told them to borrow books from Noel and then he fled from their moans and groans only stopping to shout into tent three that Sally and Joy were to take D test and Jean C.
“All right, I’ve shut my eyes,” he answered to cries of “Go away,” and “we’re still not dressed.”
With practically everyone prostrate with test melancholia it was difficult to get the ponies saddled and the members mounted for the inspection. Christopher and Susan made determined efforts to control their sections. Christopher reminded them of the camp competition and Susan pointed out that if she had managed to pass D, C and B anyone could do it. The other section leaders could only wander about in dismal silence or recite paragraphs on ventilation and hunting field procedure. Margaret Radcliffe had taken control of the Greens. She checked Mousie’s bridle, pointed out that Jackdaw’s girth was back to front and removed Seafire’s tail bandage, which Donald had forgotten. Penelope was the only composed Orange and she did her best to cheer up the rest of the section, but the Blacks had no one to offer consolation. They were all taking tests; they could do nothing but drop their whips and groan hopelessly.
When the major appeared in the lines they made a feeble attempt to pull themselves together and look efficient.
“All ready?” he asked Henry. “I hope these people aren’t going to be late, they were lunching with William Blount and I know what that means.”
“Lots of drink, I hope,” said Noel, “then they won’t inspect too thoroughly.”
“They’ll get some ’orrible shocks if they do,” observed Henry. “We sport a large number of whited sepulchres.”
“There they are,” said Noel, “or at least there’s a fleet of cars approaching.”
“Yes, those are their cars,” said the major, “I’d recognise that flashy American thing of Barton’s anywhere. Mount the ride, Henry; I’ll go and meet them.”
“To horse,” said Henry blowing his whistle and he added, “‘Would it were day’.”
“Not very apt,” Noel told him, “can’t you think of someone wishing for night?”
“Probably,” answered Henry, “but not in a suitable context.”
The sight of the inspecting cars had driven the thoughts of tests from everyone’s mind; the fuss was now about the inspection.
“Is my hat straight?” “Do I look all right?” “Please, Noel, check my curbchain.” “Noel, I haven’t got any gloves. What shall I do?” “Noel, I’ve lost my whip.” “I can’t get my girths tight.” “Noel…”
“Shut up,” roared Henry. “Get into your pairs and stop bleating. There are only thirteen pairs of gloves in camp counting ours,” he told Noel gloomily.
“And that’s counting Penelope’s religious ones,” shrieked Sally.
“We could lend ours to some of the first people and then get them back before the inspection party gets down to our end of the line,” suggested Noel.
“Yes, that’s a good idea, a sort of shuttle service,” said Henry. “We’ll dress as many as we can.”
Poppy and Donald were the gloveless Dragoons so they were given Henry’s and Noel’s gloves and then the cavalcade moved off across the field. Henry and Noel followed them, but Miss Sinclair and Merry had already gone to meet the visitors.
Henry manoeuvred the members into position and dismounted them and at once everyone became aware of the intense heat and the agony of having to stand still and suffer in a jacket and gloves. “Henry, I’m baking.” “Oh, for an ice-cream.” “We’ll never survive this.” “Henry, how much longer are they going to be?” The complaints were ceaseless. “Why don’t they hurry up and start instead of coffee-housing? Why couldn’t we wear bathing costumes?”
“Major Holbrooke, if you stand gossiping there much longer we’ll put our ponies away,” threatened Donald.
“Do we take our hats off, Henry?” asked Jonathan.
“Do girls bow or smile or something?” asked Gay.
“No, you refrain from giving them glad eyes,” Henry told her firmly. “In fact you ignore them altogether unless they speak to you.”
“Shush, they’re coming.”
“Silence in the pig market!”
“Shut up!”
The inspecting party were very thorough and they seemed to be taking the occasion seriously. Sir William inspected the ponies. He walked right round them and looked for forgotten dirt behind their ears and on their chests and hocks and he ran his gloved fingers through their coats to see if they were really clean. Colonel Shellbourne inspected the tack and he was thorough too: he looked at the inside of the reins, underneath the keepers and at the girth buckles as well as in the more obvious places. Captain Barton was inspecting the riders but he wasn’t as thorough as the other two and it was quickly passed down the line that he looked to see if you had shiny shoes but made no attempt to examine your gloves. “What a let off,” said Penelope when the news reached her, “but look, I twisted it round so he couldn’t really see.”
Noel strolled up to the top of the line as soon as the inspecting party reached Donald and she collected four pairs of gloves from Susan, Marion, Poppy and Judith; she put on her own and then she strolled back again and delivered them to Margaret, Jonathan and Guy. Henry waited until the inspectors were reaching David and then he hurriedly collected gloves from Donald and Gay. He stood behind the visiting commissioners for a few moments before he took Gay’s gloves to Jean. The top half of the line were beginning to giggle and Henry strode in their direction, gave them a furious glare and seized the opportunity to collect Carola and David’s gloves for Joy and Sally. Noel was making feeble efforts to stand at attention and Henry winked at her as he passed and flapped the gloves. Noel began to giggle. Sally and Joy would do nothing but giggle and wave their hands about for the gloves were miles too large. Henry silenced them hastily, for the inspecting party was dangerously near, and then he went and stood beside Noel who was still giggling feebly and she pointed at Merry and Henry saw to his horror that Merry’s back was shaking with suppressed giggles as she wrote down the marks.
Oh lord, we were observed, thought Henry, but not by the Brass Hats I hope, and he looked anxiously at the faces of the visiting commissioners and was relieved to see no amusement registered there. As the inspecting party reached Joy, Miss Sinclair joined Henry and Noel. “They seem very impressed,” she whispered, “so nice, Sir William said that he wished the East Barsetshires were half as smart, that’s what he said. Charming of him, really. But the dear children really did look beautiful riding across the field, quite beautiful.”
“Beauty is only skin deep,” said Henry in his most cynical voice. “They’ve finished. Allah be praised! I’m dying for a cuppa.” He marched briskly towards his uncle. “Over to you, Henry,” said the major.
“Ride, prepare to mount,” said Henry in his best parade ground manner. “Ride, mount. Lead off from the left in pairs. March.”
The members kept their composure until they reached the horse lines but the moment they dismounted all order vanished and the uproar was tremendous as everyone tried to relate his experiences or views at once.
Gay tied Sonnet up and then collapsed on a straw bale with an attack of the giggles.
Lynne said, “They were super. They gave me ten for Rob Roy, Sir William said he was quite exceptionally clean.”
“They told me my tack was clean. Honestly, they must be mad,” observed Jean. “I bet our instructors would have said it was filthy. Anyway, it’s obvious that the major doesn’t know anything about the East Barsetshire’s tack and I’m jolly well going to tell him so.”
“Oh, Jean, y
ou can’t,” said Lynne.
“Oh, can’t I, you wait and see.”
“Marion got ten for Crusoe, ten for her tack and nine for herself,” shrieked the Blacks triumphantly.
“Lord,” said Henry, who had dropped his military manner, “there weren’t half some marks flying about, the arithmetic tonight is going to need a calculating machine.”
“We shall need a simply enormous graph,” said Noel.
“Well, actually, I suppose we’ll divide the inspection marks by three, otherwise we’d never fit them in. Hurry up, everyone. Tea in two minutes. No, we’re not going to hay up because the people taking tests will want their ponies immediately after tea.”
At the mention of tests gloom descended over the camp and it was a very subdued crowd of members who trooped in to tea. Except for Sir William making a speech on behalf of himself and the other visiting commissioners in which he said he had never seen such a well turned our pony club in all his thirty years as a pony club official, tea was devoted entirely to the pursuit of knowledge.
The members went through the aids for everything, they worked out the time for every gait, they discussed shoeing and first aid, the principles of feeding and watering; the reasons for a pony refusing, the meaning of balance and collection.
“Well, he won’t think we’re such a smashing pony club when he’s failed the lot of us,” said Nicholas gloomily.
“You can’t fail,” Christopher said, “you’ve got to pass.”
“Got to,” said Jean. “Honestly, Christopher, you’re hopeful.”
And Judith said, “I know I’m going to fail; I can’t remember a thing.”
“And I’m failing too,” said Marion.
“And me.”
“And me,” it became a chorus and Christopher told them, “You’re a lot of defeatists, you’re only fit to belong to the East Barsetshire.”
“Shush, you idiot; don’t yell so, their District Comissioner’s here.”
It was arranged that Captain Barton should examine the B test people for riding and that Colonel Shellbourne should take them for stable management. Sir William said that he could manage the five C tests on his own. The major, having told Henry to act as marshal for the B examiners, the people who weren’t taking tests to graze their ponies, and Noel to look after Sir William, removed himself and his four very apprehensive D test candidates to a far corner of the next field.
Pony Club Camp (Noel and Henry Book 5) Page 10