by Simone Elise
I had to keep myself from snapping my eyes open in shock. Why was Jax in my room? And why was he willingly sitting here watching over me? Had my brothers blackmailed him into this?
“This isn’t a good time,” he hissed into the phone. “Call back in the morning.” He paused.
“Fine, “he continued, “it better be bloody important if it can’t wait.”
I couldn’t believe he was actually keeping his voice low. Was he doing that so he wouldn’t wake me?
“I told you dad, I didn’t have a choice,” he barked into his phone. “Like I said before, it is in the best interest of the club.”
He fell silent for a moment, and I felt his eyes on me. Inhaling quickly, I twisted my shoulder without thinking, and a deep frown appeared on my face. It took all my self-control to not wince in pain. How could such little movement cause so much agony?
“Hold on a minute,” Jax shot into the phone. I heard him place his phone on the bedside table.
Suddenly, the blankets on me disappeared, and goosebumps ran up my legs as the cold air suddenly hit me.
Jax placed a hand under my shoulder, half in the air, and then threaded his other hand under my side. His breathing was thick as he softly twisted me back over.
I couldn’t believe how gentle he was being! Now more comfortable, I lay on my back. I actually could take a breath in without cringing in pain. His hands left my body quickly and he covered me back up with the blankets.
I felt him lift the mattress as he tucked the blankets in. What on earth had got into him?
“You still there?” his voice shot into the phone. “You don’t need to remind me where you are,” he spat, bitterness in his tone.
The room fell silent and all I could hear was his sharp breathing.
“I know. Blood in, blood out,” Jax said coolly into the phone. “I won’t forget.”
He barked a bye into the phone and hung up. If I was the person who had just called him, I wouldn’t be calling back. Was Jax always that rude to people?
A stray piece of hair flew across my eye, and it annoyed me immediately. I was considering just giving in and letting Jax know I was awake, but then I felt his fingers gently brush the stray strand away, and I still couldn’t believe this was the same Jax!
“I’m really sorry Amber,” I heard him mutter, sitting by my side.
He was sorry? For what? Was the attack linked back to them? Who was I kidding; I knew it was. So that was why Jax had stayed at my side. Guilt really was capable of changing a man.
Jax
I watched a frown appear on her face again as she took a staggered breath in. Breathing was hurting her. I could tell from the frown on her face every time she took a breath in.
I sat back, feeling completely like shit.
I never let anyone get close for this reason. I don’t have connections. I just have the brotherhood, and they could all look after themselves when it came to it.
They weren’t a weakness.
I should have known The Pythons were watching me. They’d seen me with her at the mall. I was never seen with a girl. Maybe at the clubhouse, but that was it.
Never let anyone get close. That was the one thing dad had taught me before he went to prison and got a life sentence, and I became The King.
The Pythons have been wanting blood for years now. First, they invaded our street; started dealing where we were dealing. Little things that we could argue over.
Sure I got threatened. Every man with bikie blood knew I was the King, and being the King meant everyone, even Troy, answered to me.
Every charter. Every member. Answered to me.
Thanks to dad.
Sometimes, I don’t know whether being born into this was a blessing or a curse. Look at Jason; he’d shrugged off the lifestyle, but dad picked me. Groomed me. Wanted me to take over from him.
So I did as soon as he went down for a crime he actually committed when he was young. His first kill ended up getting him arrested, thanks to new evidence.
I lit up another cigarette, my eyes on Amber.
I couldn’t even look her in the eye after the mall, but I knew as soon as I saw her naked body, I wanted her.
Even in her underwear, she sent my fantasies into overdrive, and then she went and took off her bra, giving me a sight I will never forget.
I doubted she realized there had been a mirror.
And I watched her change. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, even though it would have been the right thing to do. Still, I didn’t do it.
And then when she was dressed again, I couldn’t get the image of her naked breasts out of my head. The image was on repeat in my head. So much so, I couldn’t look her in the eye.
At the house party, I’d attempted to get my need for her, and my frustration, out on another woman, but that didn’t work.
Then I went into panic mood when the boys said she was missing. I blamed myself again, because I should have kept an eye on her during the night. Her brothers stopped watching her as soon as the girls showed up.
Then when I did find her, I find her in bed with my brother. I scoffed out loud and then regretted it when I saw her frown. Shit. I didn’t want to wake her up.
How did Jason manage to score the one woman I couldn’t lock down?
As much as I wanted Amber, there was a reason I kept her at a distance. The reason I didn’t make a move. The reason I kept my hands and thoughts to myself.
I inhaled on my cigarette. It was all pointless in the end, because she’d ended up getting hurt because of me.
And I wasn’t there to protect her. Fuck, I had pushed her away! I didn’t speak to her. Didn’t even acknowledge her.
And when my enemy makes a move, and hits my weakness, I’m not there to protect my weakness.
How screwed up is that?
I watched her frown again.
It was worse knowing she was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. Her case was out of morphine and painkillers. I’m guessing thanks to Cole; she had given them all to him.
I watched her body tremble in pain again and that frown that kept appearing on her face was back.
God, what do I do?
What can I do?
I gritted my teeth. There was nothing I could do but fucking watch.
I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I reached out and took her hand.
If I couldn’t ease her pain, the least I could do was hold her hand while she went through it. I think what was worse was that she had no idea how I felt about her. Not at all.
She didn’t know it was basically killing me to keep her at a distance. Seeing her relaxed around her brothers and also seeing men I knew my whole life turn into mush when they are with her.
Did she know the power she held?
To make Cole feel any emotion should be an achievement. And that’s all you saw on his face when he looked at her; emotion.
All of them, they would kill for her and I knew right now it was me holding them back from going after The Pythons tonight, seeking revenge.
The sad part is, I would kill for her too and she wasn’t my blood.
I knew she had been targeted because of me.
It had nothing to do with her brothers.
It had to do with me taking out their clubhouse. Sure it was a club vote, but it had been my idea.
Troy still couldn’t understand why I sat back and let him take charge of the club, when really I was meant to be in charge.
I sighed. Everyone looked at me for answers, and I was starting to get tired of the questions and expectations.
Just once, I would like to do something without thinking of the backlash.
Like, for instance, how I would really like to kiss Amber; without worrying how her brothers would react, or the heat that might follow her from being connected to me.
When it came down to it, I could handle the heat that came from being with her. Fuck. I’d do everything in my power to make sure she was safe.
&
nbsp; So if I could think that now, why couldn’t I have thought that yesterday? Why didn’t I protect her when she’d needed it?
I should have been with her, going to school. Instead, I was sleeping off a sleepless weekend because I had given orders to shoot up The Pythons’ clubhouse.
I needed her to wake up now. I looked at her more intently, my eyes glancing to her stomach. She wore a mark I should hate. Hell, it was instilled in me to hate it and anyone that wore it.
But I didn’t hate her. I don’t think I was even capable of hating her. Not when she was annoying. Not when she was being stubborn, and not when she was defying what she was being told.
It slowly started to hit me, sinking in slowly; I’ve never hated her. If anything, I used to admire her.
And now, that admiration was mixing with lust and my need to be with her.
I was fucked because if there was one thing I knew about Amber, it was that she didn’t do emotion and I doubted she had any need to be with me.
***
Amber
My eyes fluttered open and I stared at my ceiling. Sighing and grunting in slight pain, I began to pull myself up, and I hissed in pain right away.
“DON’T MOVE!”
My eyes snapped to Jax, and he reached over and wrapped an arm around my back, helping me sit up in bed.
“Why are you here?” I frowned. I couldn’t believe he was still here!
He didn’t answer, but instead reached over and put another pillow behind my head and helped me lower myself back into the wall of pillows behind me; I was now sitting up straight in bed.
My face twisted as another wave of pain coursed through my body.
“How’s the pain?” he asked, returning to his armchair.
“How do you think?” I shot back. I knew I should have been nicer, but the pain was getting in the way of my judgment.
“Cole’s gone to get you something for it,” Jax said.
“So he’s gone to knock off a pharmacy?” I attempted to joke, but it hurt just to breathe and speak.
His lips twitched slightly before they returned to a firm line. “Something like that,” he replied.
“You can go if you want Jax. You don’t have to stay here,” I said, slowly and gingerly.
“Your wound has to be cleaned. It’s about time you woke up.”
I pulled back the blankets slightly, and immediately noticed the light blood stains coming through my t-shirt. “How bad is it?” I asked.
When Jax didn’t answer, I looked up at him and he was looking down at his feet with a serious expression.
“I know they cut me, or stabbed me. I just want to know how bad it is,” I said, keeping my voice calm.
He tried to make eye contact with me, and then decided against it. Frowning, I looked down at my arms. They were covered in spots of blood and dirt. I was a mess.
“I really need a shower,” I groaned. “I smell and look awful.”
“You can’t shower by yourself. You will just have to wait for one of your brothers to come home,” Jax said; like I would actually let that happen.
“Like hell I am having them help me in a shower!” I spat back. “I will be fine.”
“You can’t even pull yourself up,” he pointed out, before crossing his arms. “So how do you plan on bathing?”
I narrowed my eyes. “I am sure I’ll manage.”
“Fine, whatever,” Jax said as he rose from the armchair in resignation. “But at least have a bath or something. Make it easier on yourself.”
I reached out to pull the blankets back, but my face contorted in pain at the movement. I heard Jax grunt as he pulled the blankets back for me.
“Don’t say anything,” I hissed under my breath, as I pulled my legs around and lowered them to the floor.
I looked up at Jax, who stood a few feet away from me with his arms crossed.
“Could you run it for me? The spa?” I lowered my voice to a whisper. I hated asking him for anything but, at the same time, I didn’t think I would be able to turn the taps.
“Don’t move while I’m gone,” he grunted, before walking into my ensuite.
I heard the water gush into the spa. For the first time, I was actually grateful I had a spa in my ensuite.
Standing on my feet, I gripped the bedside table to find my balance. Wobbly, I began to walk in the direction of the ensuite. I wasn’t one to sit back and let a male be all controlling.
I had too much pride for that.
I gripped the doorframe for support as I made it into the ensuite. Jax was kneeling on the tiled floor, with his hand under the tap as he adjusted the temperature of the water.
I smiled at his back; this Jax I could get used to.
“I told you not to move,” he huffed, getting to his feet. “Would it kill you to listen for once?”
“Perhaps.” I smiled at him, “Um thanks.” I felt awkward even saying that word.
“Bet that tasted like acid,” he smirked, and I took in his tired eyes.
“Yeah a bit,” I admitted. I let go of the doorframe and walked in. I noticed how Jax braced himself, like he was ready to reach out and catch me at any moment.
“You can go,” I said slowly, lowering myself to the edge of the spa and sitting down. “Really, you look tired.”
“I’m not leaving you in here,” Jax crossed his arms.
“Why?” I frowned at him. “Scared I am going to drown myself?”
His expression was blank and his jaw was tightly clenched. “You have two options.”
“And they would be?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“You can either get naked in front of me, or keep your underwear on.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Do I look like I am joking?” He reached for the hem of his t-shirt and yanked it over his head. “Amber, you can’t wash yourself, so stop being stubborn. I don’t have the energy to fight with you.”
“So you are getting in with me?” I questioned, while trying to keep my eyes focused on his face and not let them drift all over his toned body.
“No. Now which option?” He kept his eyes on me, and I just stared blankly back at him. He let out a disgruntled sigh and ran a hand threw his hair. “Do you have to make this so hard?”
“I don’t like being weak,” I said as I stared at the tiled floor, “And I don’t like being helpless. You’re making me feel like a weak little female.”
“We both know you are anything but a weak female,” he said, but I knew what I’d sounded like. As if he knew what I was thinking, he opened his mouth... “Fine. If it makes you feel better, when I got beaten up a few months ago, Cole had to take care of me.”
My head snapped up to look him in the eye. “You’re kidding.”
“No. Now drop it. I only told you that so you would stop looking all sad and sorry for yourself.” He moved towards me and kneeled down in front of me. “So there, you have something on me now.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I smirked, but visibly softening.
“Drop it. Now underwear or no underwear. Personally, I don’t mind either.” He winked at me.
“Underwear,” I spat out quickly, and it only caused him to smirk at me.
“What a surprise,” he mocked me, reaching for the waist line of the shorts I was wearing. “Now, this can be as awkward as you let it be.”
“As I let it be? I think you taking my clothes off is just plain awkward, nothing else.” I hated this. I hated having to let someone help me. “Hey, how did I get these clothes on in the first place?” I frowned down at them. I was not wearing this baggy t-shirt yesterday and I sure as hell wasn’t wearing these shorts.
“Tyler changed you after I… after um… yeah, you got sewn up,” he stuttered, slowly pulling my shorts down my thighs.
“Oh great, another moment of glory for me,” I muttered dryly. “My life just gets better and better.”
“Hands up,” Jax ordered. My face twisted in pain as I stretched my arm
s up and he pulled the t-shirt from me.
The room was steamy, and I was grateful for it; at least I wasn’t cold. Getting to his feet, Jax wrapped an arm around my back to help me up. A very large white bandage was wrapped around my stomach. Spots of blood covered it.
“Should we take it off?” I frowned down at it.
“Um yeah,” Jax said. “But I will take it off in the bath. Wrap your arm around my neck.”
Slowly, I wrapped both arms around his neck and he swooped me up from the ground. Walking to the bath edge, he slowly lowered me into the water.
His muscles flexed as he carried my whole weight. He didn’t look me in the eye and I also noticed how his eyes weren’t raking my body either. Instead, he glued his eyes to the water he was lowering me into.
My body sunk into the spa bath and, once I rested in it, I pulled my arms away from around his neck, and he pulled away from me, kneeling beside the bath.
I was grateful he had done that; I wasn’t sure how I would have managed to bend and lower myself. It would have taken me a while.
Pain was still running through my body, but the hot water numbed it slightly.
Jax cleared his throat. “So, how was school yesterday?”
He leaned into the water and focused on the bandage, as he plucked the tape from the sides.
“Yeah, ok I guess.” I muttered while lowering my head back and looking up at the ceiling. “Did you sleep well last night?”
“I did not.” He pulled the tape off and I flinched as I felt water gush over my wound. I couldn’t bring myself to look down at it, so I just stared up at the ceiling. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at Jax and he was glaring at my stomach.
“So, um. What are you doing today?” My voice fluttered as I spoke, and I wanted to slap myself across my cheek – seriously, that was the best chit chat I could come up with? Great job Amber.
“Well, after I bathe you, I’m heading into town. Got some stuff I need to sort out.” He lifted my arm out of the water and began to rub the blood and dirt away with a face washer. “You are on bed rest, in case you didn’t know.”
He was washing my body. Jax, the guy I used to think so little of, was washing my body with a face washer, while I sat back in my underwear.
I turned my head to the side to watch him, “Really? I had no idea.”