by Simone Elise
“Last I remember. I was the one suffocating you.”
“Amber, I…”
Our bodies were catapulted forward as someone slammed into us from behind. My head snapped forward, and whacked the dashboard with force.
Blake let out a string of curse words as he unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped out of the car. I saw his hand reach under his t-shirt. My head was spinning as I rested it back on the headrest. What was with cars lately?
Groaning, I undid my seat belt, and cracked the door open. I heard Blake yelling, but I felt my stomach twist. Leaning against the side of the car, steadying my breathing, I closed the door.
“Amber, you alright?” Blake lifted my head; his eyes ran over my face with worry. “Shit!” He let out a breath as he ripped his t-shirt off and pressed it to the top of my head. I winched as the fabric came into contact with my head.
“It looks like a surface wound,” Blake muttered, and then shot a dirty look over his shoulder. “Bloody P platers.”
I glanced at the young kids, who had clearly run into us.
“For some reason, I thought it was someone trying to kill us,” I muttered under my breath. Blake’s lips twitched up slightly and nodding his head. “And they are the same age as me.”
I was beginning to second guess my involvement with criminals. Was it normal to always assume the worst?
“How bad’s the car?” I asked, as Blake pulled the t-shirt from my head; I’d only bled a little bit.
“Not too bad. I don’t think the kid has a license though,” Blake said, shooting me a small smile. We both glanced at them; they looked like they were freaking out.
“Probably lost it for bad driving,” I replied to Blake. He nodded his head.
“Let’s get out of here before the cops come,” Blake said coolly, and reached behind me to open my door.
I got in, and Blake walked around the back of the car, ripping the half hanging bumper off and tossing it in the direction of the sidewalk. I closed my door as Blake got in.
Blake looked both ways, before he took off into the intersection, ignoring the red light. I was sure the teenagers would be back there puzzled, not sure what was going on.
Blake didn’t do insurance and he didn’t do cops, so, of course, we wouldn’t be hanging around to exchange details.
“Amber?”
“Yeah Blake?”
“I love you.”
I snapped my head to him; his eyes were glued to the road. Had I heard him correctly? His words rang pretty clear, and through my mind once more.
I opened my mouth and then shut it again. What could I say to that? Blake was my first love, first crush, and well my first serious boyfriend. He would protect me with his life, if needed, but he was also a hard-core gangster; a criminal.
And often, I needed protection from him.
So why did I immediately lean over and kiss the side of his cheek?
Because I am an idiot.
Chapter 16
“Are you sure?”
I looked across at Blake and handed him his t-shirt.
“Yeah, Blake, I am sure.” I gave him a small smile as I pushed open the car door. I walked around to his side and leaned into his window. “Thanks, for everything.”
He let out a low sigh and kept his eyes locked with mine. “If they hassle you, or you want to come back to me, call ok?”
I nodded my head, while buttoning up the last button on my jeans. “I will. I promise.”
Blake shot me a weak smile and I could see the debate in his eyes as he thought about leaving me here. His hands hovered over the key, not turning it; just fiddling.
“Go, Blake. I’m fine.” I stepped away from his side of the car, and he twisted the key in the ignition, bringing the engine back to life.
I loved Blake, but we could never be what we were. We both knew that, but it didn’t stop us from going out with a bang, if you get my drift.
I took another step away from his car, and he slowly began to crawl away from me. I would always love him, and it was easy to fall into old habits. Being with Blake was easy, but we both knew that easy wasn’t a good thing.
I watched his tail lights slowly disappear up the driveway, and I slowly turned around to face my house. The mansion was in darkness; it was only after ten at night, so it surprised me that no one was up.
Slowly, I walked up the porch steps. I didn’t know how my brothers were going to react to my sudden return. I paused with my hand on the door knob, and then went ahead and twisted it. They didn’t seem to be home. Good. I had more time to pull myself together before I faced them.
If I’d had my way, I wouldn’t have returned tonight, but, I knew if I went back to Blake’s, I wouldn’t have been leaving anytime soon.
I cracked the door open slowly, and crept through the hallway. The house was in darkness, like I had expected. In the night light, the house looked almost haunted. The moonlight flickered across the photo frames that hung in the foyer.
Sighing softly, I walked through the foyer and into the lounge room. I didn’t bother to flick the light on; I went in and sat down on the couch.
Laying back down and hanging my feet over the end of the couch, I stared up at the ceiling.
My fingers went under my t-shirt and I ran one finger lightly over my scar. Where did I go from here? What was I meant to do with my life?
The dull rumble of motor bikes broke me out of my thoughts. My heartbeat sped up, and suddenly I felt nervous. I knew my brothers would always love me, but still it was hard to face them.
I listened closely as all the engines died, and I heard the crunching of gravel. I froze as I heard the door swing open. For some reason, I shut my eyes tightly.
“So, are they coming around here then?” Tyler’s voice sounded slightly drained as he spoke.
“Yeah, when they knock off or something,” Jax replied.
The front door closed and I remained still on the couch, my feet no longer swinging over the edge.
“Well, I am going to bed, you guys have fun with that,” Tyler yawned, and I heard his feet pounding up the stairs.
The foyer lights flicked on and the overcast spread lightly through the lounge room, bringing only dull light into the room.
“I heard El was coming to pay you a special visit Jax,” Adam said, sounding smug.
“Whatever,” Jax grunted. “Women are only good for one thing. I’m going to shower.”
Another dull set of footsteps stomped up the stairs and I thought over Jax’s words. Women were only good for one thing.
“Did you give Amber another call?” Troy’s voice was huff.
“She blocked it again,” Cole scoffed. “I think we should just storm the guy’s house.”
“We all agreed we would give her space,” Adam quickly snapped. “We owe her that.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Cole grunted. “She could be dead for all we know.”
I flung my legs back from over the couch and stood up, walking from the couch.
“We would know if she were dead,” Adam said, sounding annoyed.
“I am alive,” I announced, leaning against the doorframe, crossing my arms, bringing myself out of the shadows of the lounge room. Troy and Cole were sitting on the bottom step, and Adam was standing with his hands in his pockets.
All their mouths dropped open, as they saw me standing casually against the doorframe, keeping my nerves in check.
“You’re back,” Adam finally managed to croak.
I nodded my head and kept my arms crossed. “That I am.”
Cole got up abruptly. “So… sick of playing happy family with Blake the gangster then?” He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at me.
Inhaling sharply, I pushed myself away from the doorframe and shouldered my way past him, walking up the stairs.
“I’m going to bed,” I shot over my shoulder, not looking back. Cole could say what he wanted about Blake, but he was the only person I knew who wouldn’t judge me.
<
br /> “Wait Amber, we haven’t seen you in weeks!” Adam took the stairs two at a time, and wrapped an arm around my upper arm. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” I glanced at his hand and then back up at him. “I’m going to go to bed,” I announced again.
“So, that’s it then. No small talk with us?” Cole shot up at me from the bottom of the stairs.
“What would you like me to say, Cole?” I looked around Adam to look down at him, eyebrow arched sarcastically.
“Are you back with Blake?” He yelled up behind me as I kept walking. I stopped to respond, but the doorbell rang, and Cole let out an annoyed grunt as he spun around to open it.
The door flung open, and about six or so females stood at the door. I didn’t know them, but given the way they were dressed, it wasn’t hard to guess what they were all about. Pornstars.
“Pornstars?” I said out loud, slightly amused, and looked at my brothers pointedly. “I thought you guys had taste.”
The girls slowly walked in, and closed the door softly behind them. The boys, however, wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“I thought you were going to bed, Amber,” Troy shot at me, but still wouldn’t meet my eye. I guess your sister meeting your one night stand wasn’t particularly a high point, but they were bikies and, of course, girls like them always clung to the tough bad boys.
“Right, night!” I turned around and Adam let go of my arm. Walking silently up the corridor, I heard the conversation starting up as I walked to my room.
Coming to a stop at my bedroom door, I paused and shot a glance at Jax’s closed door. I bit my bottom lip; I couldn’t believe he had said what he had earlier, but then, what did I expect? He was a bikie; a tough lady’s man bikie. I knew all too well now, when it came to love, it didn’t rank very high on a criminal’s list of priorities.
They wanted sex, they didn’t want love. I twisted my door knob and walked into my room. It was cold and dark, and I flicked my bedside light on and closed the door.
Love was over-rated anyway, I thought, as I walked to my bed. Criminals and bad boys were nothing but work so I ignored the feeling that burned in my stomach; that made me want to hurl something across the room. All when I thought about Jax with other women.
Chapter 17
I looked into the mirror and took in my reflection. Lightly, I traced my scar with two fingers. I couldn’t wear this. I glanced back at my wardrobe, knowing I didn’t have a one piece. Groaning and throwing my hair up in a loose ponytail in frustration, I stormed over to my bed and threw myself backwards into it.
I wanted to swim in our heated pool, but I didn’t want to flaunt my scar in my brothers’ faces, but when it came down to it, it was their fault I had it so they couldn’t hate me for it, could they?
Sitting up quickly, before I lost my confidence, I swooped up an oversized t-shirt and pulled it over my head; it stopped mid-thigh. I flung open my bedroom door and swooped up my phone.
I froze when I saw Jax standing in his doorframe, about to walk out. His eyes snapped to mine, and widened with shock. I froze in my doorway.
It was Jax, Amber. JAX. Pull it together.
We both opened our mouths at the same time, but, before either of us could say anything, his bedroom door widened, and a tall, skinny, beautiful brunette stood in the frame.
Jax didn’t look at her, his eyes fixed on me. Was he watching or waiting for my reaction?
“Amber!” Ella smiled at me, before she crossed her arms. “It’s been a while.”
“That it has El, how are you?” I replied, ripping my eyes from Jax and looking Ella in the eye.
“Good, good.” She nodded her head and although her smile was friendly, her body language was anything but. “I heard you and Blake are back together?”
Ella, or El as she was more often known as, was a pornstar; or at least she used to be. She was now a high class model for porn commercials. She was also one of many in the long string of ex-girlfriends Blake had; a list I was now a part of. Although her and I were friendly, we both knew she hated me. Basically, Blake had broken up with her, well… he didn’t even really break up with her because he didn’t ever really call her his girlfriend, but, when it came down to it, he ‘broke’ up with her to date me.
“No, we’re not actually.” I plastered a fake smile and glanced at Jax and then back at her “So you got a new man, El? Good for you.”
El glanced at Jax and then back at me nervously. “I don’t do relationships anymore.” She stood up slightly taller, adding, “Not when I have an endless list of men.”
I nodded my head. “Fair enough.”
“So what, you were just staying with Blake then? You guys weren’t actually back together?” Her eyebrows frowned together as she waited for my response.
What could I say? Pornstars have the looks, just evidently not very good hearing.
“Yep. He was helping me out, like I said before.” I reached behind me and pulled my door closed “Well, I better be going.”
“Wait Am!”
I turned my eyes back to El; of course she had more questions. “Yep?”
She nodded her head in the direction of my bedroom door. “So, whose room is that?” She smiled, kind of evil, at me.
I frowned for a moment, and then realized she didn’t know I lived here. I hid my smirk. If she knew I lived across from the room of the guy she had lined up as her next man, she would be here every night.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I smirked slightly, and then walked away from them, quickly.
Jax didn’t say anything, nor did he make an attempt to speak to me as I darted away from them. Looks like I was really missed, I scoffed to myself. Who was I kidding?
Jax was a player. A cold hearted one at that.
***
I dangled my feet in the heated pool, and my phone buzzed beside me. I reached for it and opened the message. Seeing Blake’s number on the screen, I sighed lowly before I read it.
‘This song reminds me of you. Just thought I would let you know.’
Frowning, I pulled my feet out from the pool and walked to the side, plugging the aux cable into my phone and clicking on the link to the file that was in the message. I pushed play and slowly the surround sound system came to life.
“You were my everything” by Aviation began to echo through the enclosed pool area. I pulled the t-shirt off and flung it to the side. Walking down the stairs into the pool, I smiled as I heard the lyrics.
The water swallowed my body until I slowly got on my back and floated across the water. Listening to every word pulled at my heartstrings. Should I go back to him?
The only part of the song that didn’t fit was the new man line. I didn’t have a new man, and perhaps that was a good thing.
We were over, but I knew he would always love me just like I would always love him.
“What the hell is this soft crap?”
I got on my feet and looked at the side of the pool at Cole, who reached for my phone and unplugged it.
“Are you going soft on us, Amber?” Cole gave me a cocky grin before he reached for his phone and plugged it in.
“What are you doing in here?” I tried to mask my irritation.
“You mean what are we doing here?” Tyler corrected me, strolling towards the pool. “And to answer your question… swimming with you.”
“NO you are not,” I grunted, and then glared at the two of them. “Don’t you have something better to do?”
“I thought they were lying to me when they told me this morning that you were back,” Tyler shot me his easy going grin and pulled his t-shirt off, putting his toned muscles and tattoos on display.
“Great. You have seen, you have been, and now you can piss off,” I shot in his direction, and then looked back at Cole as he played with my phone. “Stop touching that,” I barked at him.
He rolled his eyes as he chose a song and “Escape the Fate, Issues,” boomed from the speakers. I gasped as water sprayed acr
oss my face, as Tyler launched himself into the pool. I turned around to glare at him, but, before I could, two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me under.
The music hit my ears with a boom as I re-surfaced, splashing a load of water at Tyler in rebellion.
“God, you are a tool,” I groaned in his direction. I noticed Cole running towards me, and I yelled out. “Don’t…”
But I was too late. My mouth filled with water as he landed with a thud in the water, and I reached to wipe the water from my eyes.
“I forgot how hot this pool can get,” Tyler said causally, as he floated on his back. Cole reached out and pulled a big ring from the side, and pulled himself into it, floating.
“So, what made you come back?” Cole said as he kicked off from the side, and floated into the middle of the water. As he spun around, I saw my name tattooed on the top of his back shoulder blade. I remembered the first time he had showed it to me; it was before they had all left.
I softened my tone, feeling nostalgic at the sight of the tattoo.
“It was time,” I announced, pushing the wet hair from my face. “I said I would be back.”
“No you didn’t. You just left,” Tyler grunted, leaning on the side of the pool opposite me. “You didn’t tell us anything.”
“Yeah, well I’m back now so it doesn’t matter.” I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling. “So, what has been going on around here?”
“You know… a bit of this, a bit of that. Dad’s gone to some conference; he has been gone all week… comes back next week I think,” Tyler said lightly.
I wasn’t surprised dad wasn’t here; he was a busy man. “So, that would explain why he didn’t surface last night, when you guys had your little...” I pulled my head forward and looked between the two. “What would you call that? A group booty call?”
Cole rolled his eyes at me, while Tyler chuckled.
“Yeah, yeah well we weren’t expecting you back,” Cole pointed out, before kicking off from the side again. “Seeing as you’re back now, you can go back to school as of Monday.”