Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  He leans forward, Oh My God, is he going to... kiss me?

  I gasp. “Wh... what are you doing?” I falter, shocked by his forwardness.

  “I don't know,” he replies, transfixed on my mouth.

  I lick my lips nervously, and he groans softly.

  He inches his mouth further to mine, and his warm breath passes over my cheeks, spreading goose bumps from head to toe.

  Closing my eyes, not wanting to over think this moment between us, as I know it’ll hurt like a bitch when he tells me it was a mistake. But it'll be so worth it to feel his lips on mine.

  I'm waiting anxiously, holding my breath, but it never comes as Oscar decides now is a good time to come out of hiding, and demand food.

  Opening my eyes, I witness Jasper pulling away from me, smirking.

  “You've got really bad timing buddy,” he says looking down at Oscar, who is purring around his legs, turning on the charm.

  Jasper looks at me, and I try not to look too disappointed.

  “I better go feed him,” Jasper smiles, picking Oscar up.

  He is half out the door, when I tease, “FYI, I like you about this much right now,” and I pinch my thumb and forefinger together, with no gap in between.

  Jasper turns to look at how he rates on my fondness scale, and he pulls a face when he sees how low he ranks.

  “Gee, I better step up and get creative then.”

  He gives me a quick wink over his shoulder, and is out the door before I can question him.

  What the hell does that mean?!

  The conundrum of Jasper White continues.

  Great, I'm screwed.

  Chapter 17

  Drunk on You

  Today is a me day. After my near kiss with Jasper, which has confused the hell out of me, I need to stop obsessing over the if’s and buts,’ and just focus on me, and what the heck I am going to do with my life.

  What is the matter with me? I can’t believe every time Jasper is near, all sense of sanity goes flying out the window. I need to stop this because I am still engaged, and being totally unfair to Harper.

  I have gone shopping and visited all my favorite stores, stocking up on clothes that won’t sit at the back of my closet. My hands are filled with too many bags to count, and the distraction has been a welcomed one. But now, as I walk to my car, reality starts crashing in around me, and I can’t deal. I need another distraction and fast.

  Dumping my bags into the trunk, I decide to go visit my parents. I want to ask them if it would be okay to stay with them, until I figure out what the fudge I want to do. In times of crisis, my mom makes the best chocolate chip cookies, and this crisis demands a truckload.

  The car ride takes less than fifteen minutes which I am thankful for, as my brain has started to go into overdrive.

  Pulling into the driveway, I notice their car is not there. Drat, I should have called first. I am about to put the car into reverse, when out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone stumbling out of the shrubs, off to the right.

  Letting out a startled yelp while locking my door, which is ridiculous, seeing as I’m in a neighborhood where nothing remotely dangerous ever happens, I take a closer look at the bumbling, swaying person, staggering towards my car.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble under my breath, unsnapping my seatbelt and opening my door.

  “Jasper?” I whisper, not wanting to disturb the neighbors, as I take a step towards his wobbly form.

  What on earth is he doing?

  “Ava, Ava, Ava let you hair hang down,” Jasper sings slightly off key, while attempting to dance, but looking more like a constipated chicken.

  He is clearly drunk as a skunk. But more importantly, why is he drunk as a skunk on my doorstep?

  “I think you mean Evie,” I correct, not that it matters.

  Jasper amends, singing out the chorus loudly and this time in key, using his beer bottle as a microphone.

  “I think Ava sounds better,” he says smirking.

  My insides liquefy as the sound of his deep singing voice always leaves me panting.

  He opens his mouth, about to smash out another verse, when I quickly place my finger over his lips to silence him.

  “Sssh, you’ll wake the neighbors,” I say. “You’ll be quiet?” I ask, cocking my head to the side, waiting for an answer.

  Jasper nods with big innocent eyes, so I remove my finger from his curved bow lips, smiling as he lets out a tiny drunk hiccup.

  “How long have you been here?” I inquire.

  How did he know I was even going to be here?

  Jasper looks wasted. His light grey V neck t-shirt has grass stains on it, and his blue jeans have dirt all over them. What did he do? Crawl here?

  Jasper looks at his cuff watch, holding it inches away from his face, while closing an eye to focus.

  “I have been here since... something o’clock,” he says while swaying to the left.

  Sighing, as I am not going to get diddlysquat out of him, I smile. “C’mon, I’m taking you home. Where’s your truck?” I ask peering around, as I figure it’ll be easier for me to drive him home in his own vehicle, and cab it back here.

  He shrugs, and hiccups again.

  Great.

  “Did you get dropped off here?” I am trying my hardest to piece together how long Jasper has been here, how he got here, and more importantly, why he is here.

  Jasper shakes his head, his messy hair falling into his eyes. “I walked,” he replies while taking a swig of his beer.

  Wow, he walked? From his house? That’s like a ridiculous amount of walking time.

  “Why?” I question.

  He stumbles forward, and I catch onto his arm to stop him from falling face first onto the grass.

  “Because I wanted you to like me more, and I was trying to be creative, but I drank all the beer.”

  O-kay, that makes zero sense.

  Then I remember his words from last night, as he said he better step up and be creative so his likeability increases. This is taking things to the extreme, but I am still smiling like an idiot when I realize he did this for me.

  “You’re silly, but adorable,” I smile while brushing his hair from his forehead.

  He lets out a low moan and I pull back my hand, because the sound does perverse things to my insides. And I have to hold back, before I take advantage of his inebriated state.

  But his reflexes are still quick as he grabs a hold of my wrist and sighs, “Keep touching me.”

  Whoa, what? Did I just hear him right?

  Gasping, my mouth parts, as he still has a hold of my wrist. And as he looks at me with hooded eyes, he brings my hand up to his lips, kissing my open palm. My eyes widen and my heart begins beating wildly.

  “Do you like me more now?”

  At the moment, I am trying to stop myself from liking him too much. But I’m pretty certain I am way too late, as the like ship set sail a long time ago, and now I am faced with an endless sea of pure wanton need.

  “Jasper...” I pause, unsure of what I want to say. “Let me take you home,” I finish off.

  Jasper shakes his head, pulling me towards him so we are chest to chest.

  “Answer my question first.”

  His alcohol laced breath is fanning my cheeks, and for some reason, it is a total turn on. My hormones begin a striptease, hoping I listen to them, and give in to my needs.

  “Yes,” I reply simply, because it’s the truth.

  Jasper leans forward, hovering over my mouth. “How much?”

  I hold onto my breath, afraid if I breathe the wrong way, I might do something I know I shouldn’t.

  “This much,” I say breathlessly, while stretching my thumb and forefinger as far as they will extend.

  Jasper tongues his top lip. “Good. Okay, now let’s go home,” he says while pulling back with a smug look on his face, as he knows he has caused me to go weak at the knees.

  Home.

  How I wish his
home was mine.

  He opens the passenger door, while I stand staring off into the distance, wishing I closed the distance between us and kissed the living hell out of him.

  A horn tooting, snaps me out of my fantasy, and I turn to see a smirking Jasper, leaning over the driver’s side, with his hand poised over the horn.

  That smug bastard.

  *****

  The car ride back to Jasper’s has been quiet. I don’t know why, but I am afraid if I speak, I won’t stop.

  Finally, I pull into his driveway and turn off my car. When I shift in my seat to look over at him, he is staring straight ahead.

  “Do you want me to help you inside?” I ask after a minute of uncomfortable silence.

  Jasper unbuckles his seatbelt. “No, I’ll be okay. I don’t want you telling your friends what a lightweight I am.”

  I let out a small giggle. “My lips are sealed,” I reply while motioning the lock and key gesture to my closed mouth, and throwing away the invisible key.

  Bad idea.

  Jasper’s blue eyes drop to my mouth, and his stare heats my skin. I can’t take this any longer. He needs to either kiss me, or get the hell out of my car before I smash my lips to his, and never let go.

  Finally, he raises his eyes to mine and shuffles in his seat, leaning over to my side of the car.

  Is he? No... could he?

  He inches his face towards mine, and I too edge forward, so not in control of my actions right now, because kissing him is the only thing I can think of. But then I remember he is drunk, and this kiss will be meaningless in the morning.

  Pulling back and shaking my head, in hopes of knocking some sense into my lust filled brain, I whisper, “You’re drunk Jasper.”

  Jasper smiles, but it’s a sad smile.

  His eyes focus on mine as he confesses, “I’m drunk on you. You’re my poison Ava, and I don’t know how to stop consuming you.”

  A breath catches in my throat as words that should be interrupted harshly, aren’t at all perceived that way.

  I don’t know how to reply, so I don’t. I close my eyes and take five steadying breaths.

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Four.

  Five.

  Reopening my eyes, I see that I’m alone.

  Peering up at Jasper’s house, I witness him turning back towards my car from his front door. The porch light reflects off his beautiful face, and his expression is mirroring mine. And that expression is one I have been trying so hard to keep at bay, but sadly have been failing at.

  That expression is one of submission and surrender.

  We both surrender.

  And that fact scares the living shit out of me.

  Chapter 18

  Amigos

  I haven't seen Harper since his altercation with Jasper. I know I should be concerned, but I'm not, and I know that makes me a really bad person. What the hell is wrong with me?

  But tonight is about V, as it’s her bachelorette party, and I have to put my emotional baggage aside and fulfil my role as Maid of Honor.

  We're going out for Mexican and margarita’s, then meeting up with the boys later on at a bar. V told me to put my party face on, I don’t know how I will go delivering on that, but I’ll try.

  My black Jimmy Choo stilettos and my beautiful knee length, silk ivory dress, is my attire for the evening. My dress falls on one shoulder, and a thin black ribbon sits high on my waist, tying into a bow at the back of the dress.

  I try my best to make my face as party friendly as possible, but no matter how much mascara I apply, I still look how I feel- shit.

  My parents were overjoyed when I asked them if I could stay at their house. They have been very supportive, and not questioned me about Harper. I think they are secretly happy that I am here, because they have put two and two together, and know something is up with Harper and me. My parents will support whatever decision I make, but I know my choice to marry Harper, is one they have found extremely hard to accept. After the last few days however, I don’t even know if there will be a wedding.

  Peering at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I flinch when I see the heavy makeup I applied to my upper arm, hoping to cover the purple bruise Harper left. But I know no amount of makeup can cover the hole in my chest, because the look on Harper’s face when he left me with Jasper has left a permanent, emotional scar on me.

  Thinking back to all the times Harper cared for me, I feel simply awful, because he helped me stay alive when I thought I was going to perish without Jasper. And this is how I treat him. I am a horrible person and to be fair on both him and Jasper, I should cut ties with them both.

  Jasper drives me crazy, and I know if life didn’t suck, we would be together, but we’re not. And I am trying to deal with that fact. But being back here is making it virtually impossible to want anything but that.

  But with Harper, I feel like I owe him thanks for being there when Jasper wasn’t. I know this is not a reason to marry someone, and as each day passes, the situation I have gotten myself into gets more and more fucked up.

  I’ve decided to get totally trashed tonight to drown my sorrows, and I know it is only a temporary solution, but it beats how I’m feeling right now.

  Bidding my parents goodbye when I hear a beep out the front of their house, I bounce down the driveway and open the taxi door, gasping as I see my best friend wearing a tiara- yes, a tiara.

  Bracing my hand on the open door, I chuckle, “You are really milking this bride thing.”

  V hands me a vodka premixed can and giggles, “Get in the car and do as I say, because tonight is my night.”

  Graciously accepting the drink, I hop into the cab, ready to forget my troubles for the night.

  *****

  As we pull up to Amigos, our eating destination for the evening, I am suddenly apprehensive. I don’t know what to expect tonight, because I know once we finish here, we will be meeting up with the boys. I really need to drown in the gallon margaritas that Amigos is famous for.

  V interlaces her fingers through mine, stopping me before we walk inside. “Thank you for being a part of my special day.”

  “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I reply, tears pricking my eyes.

  “I know, but I also know how hard it was for you because of Jasper.”

  I nod because it has been tough, but I would never let my personal shit stand in the way of supporting my best friend.

  “No matter what, I will always love you more.”

  Looking at my beautiful friend, with her bright hazel eyes and ever smiling face, I know that always and forever, she will be my soul mate. We have been through thick and thin, and no man will ever break that bond.

  V looks at me, and a tear slides down her cheek. “Ditto.”

  Wiping away her tears with my knuckle, I sniff back mine as I tease, “Okay, enough with the crying. Let’s get you good and drunk.”

  V lets out a sniffled laugh. “Okay bossy. I thought I was the one giving orders, but in this circumstance, I couldn’t agree more with you.”

  We give one another a tight hug and enter Amigos. There are about twenty five people seated in the backroom, and seeing a hint of white and red, I know this room is reserved for us. Heading straight to the bar to buy V a drink, I decide to start slow, and order us both a margarita sampler, which has four different flavors you can try in 110ml glasses.

  As I carry our drinks on a sombrero shaped tray, I nearly trip over when I see the beauty queen seated at the table, chatting animatedly to V.

  Why is Harmony here? And more importantly, why is she talking to V like they are best friends? Making my way over to the table, I quickly gulp down two of my four margaritas as I need all the Dutch Courage I can get at the moment.

  Harmony peers up at me, smiling broadly. “Hi Ava. You look beautiful.”

  Giving her a small smile, I dump the drinks in front of V, while pulling up the vacant seat next to her.
I have to hide my amusement with Harmony calling me beautiful, as I only had to look at her for two seconds, and her beauty blinded my corneas.

  “Wow, you really are trying to get me good and drunk,” V says, taking a long drink from a tall strawberry cocktail she is holding.

  “What kind of best friend would I be to not get the bride toasted,” I reply, noticing the drink she is already sipping on.

  V holds up the drink in her hand. “Harmony got me a strawberry daiquiri.”

  I nod, and try my best not to scowl. “That was nice of her.”

  Adjusting my messy chignon, I can’t help but feel like Cinderella in her rags, sitting amongst V and Harmony.

  As I look at V, she, as per usual, looks smashing in her red silk mermaid gown that clings to her curves. With her colorful tattoos, ebony hair and bright red lips, she resembles an alternative version of Snow White. She has a light dusting of foundation on her rosy cheeks, and liquid kohl lines her upper eyes-she looks breathtaking.

  Then I peer over at Harmony, who looks like a bohemia Goddess in her long pale rose gown, which ties at the front with a white ribbon, emphasizing her ‘assets’. She has a deep rose head scarf, holding up her luscious hair in a loose bun, with wisps of hair cascading around her face. Her full lips are highlighted with a clear sheer, and the black mascara she has applied, compliments her hazel eyes.

  Suddenly wishing I was really, really drunk, because drunken Ava would know how to deal with this situation. So I decide drunk Ava needs to get her ass into gear and make an appearance, and soon.

  Downing the drinks in front of me, without appearing to be too much of an alcoholic, I feel slightly better, that is until I hear Harmony talking with her musical voice.

  “So, are you excited?” she asks, looking at V with bright eyes.

  V nods eagerly. “I am. I thought I would be nervous, but I’m not. I can’t wait to be Lucas’ wife.”

  Harmony grins. “Oh, I am so happy for you V. I know what it’s like to find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

  I very unladylike gag on my drink, which sends me into a coughing frenzying.